Author Topic: Long, hard & full of Australian seamen  (Read 1448 times)

mothman

  • I don't know why
Long, hard & full of Australian seamen
« on: September 16, 2021, 10:37:50 PM »
So, the… AUKUS pact. We help the Australians build nuclear (-powered, not -armed) submarines.

The French are furious - because THEY wanted to build the submarines (diesel ones, too - where HAVE they been? Everyone knows you don’t get the mileage on diesel we thought it did). China is unimpressed. And New Zealand says the subs won’t be allowed to visit their ports. AWKS, indeed.

But… what the fuck is going on? Why is the state of the world reading like one of those scrolling spiels at the start of a post-apocalyptic movie?

(One prediction: COP26 will be a complete damp squib. It was meant to be the crowning glory of Global Britain (literally - an excuse to rake in lots of trade deals while pretending to agree climate change targets nobody intended to even try to meet). But it looked like the Indians weren’t going to show, China couldn’t be that arsed either, and who knows who else’s not bother to send any meaningful delegation..?)

chveik

  • crazy bit of business
Re: Long, hard & full of Australian seamen
« Reply #1 on: September 16, 2021, 10:44:42 PM »
damn fellow down under

Re: Long, hard & full of Australian seamen
« Reply #2 on: September 17, 2021, 02:11:11 AM »
We plan to have the first submarine built sometime before 2039.
Let's hope the Chinese plan to attack us sometime after that.

mothman

  • I don't know why
Re: Long, hard & full of Australian seamen
« Reply #3 on: September 17, 2021, 07:56:23 PM »
Something tells me they’re not going to wait that long. IF they are going to invade Taiwan, which I’m sure someone (whomever is on duty as China Apologist this week) will be sure to tell us that they aren’t.

Re: Long, hard & full of Australian seamen
« Reply #4 on: September 18, 2021, 07:06:12 PM »
It's got fuck all to do with the nuclear submarines, although a minor economic blow, France still has a lot of territories in the South Pacific, it's to do with its fading position there. This has totally humiliated them. Nobody in Europe is supporting them either.



« Last Edit: September 18, 2021, 07:34:04 PM by Hundhoon »

bgmnts

  • Depressed to the point of poisonous toxicity.
Re: Long, hard & full of Australian seamen
« Reply #5 on: September 18, 2021, 07:08:59 PM »
But… what the fuck is going on? Why is the state of the world reading like one of those scrolling spiels at the start of a post-apocalyptic movie?

(One prediction: COP26 will be a complete damp squib. It was meant to be the crowning glory of Global Britain (literally - an excuse to rake in lots of trade deals while pretending to agree climate change targets nobody intended to even try to meet). But it looked like the Indians weren’t going to show, China couldn’t be that arsed either, and who knows who else’s not bother to send any meaningful delegation..?)

Aptly put. It is sort of like watching a horrible dystopian film but one you can't turn off. We just have to sit here and let these cunts fuck up all life on the planet for absolutely no reason other than they can.

Re: Long, hard & full of Australian seamen
« Reply #6 on: September 18, 2021, 07:44:25 PM »
Don't we rely on France for a lot of our energy needs. Perhaps an idea to try and keep them onside, like.

Re: Long, hard & full of Australian seamen
« Reply #7 on: September 18, 2021, 08:01:53 PM »
So, the… AUKUS pact. We help the Australians build nuclear (-powered, not -armed) submarines.

The French are furious - because THEY wanted to build the submarines (diesel ones, too - where HAVE they been? Everyone knows you don’t get the mileage on diesel we thought it did). China is unimpressed. And New Zealand says the subs won’t be allowed to visit their ports. AWKS, indeed.

But… what the fuck is going on? Why is the state of the world reading like one of those scrolling spiels at the start of a post-apocalyptic movie?

(One prediction: COP26 will be a complete damp squib. It was meant to be the crowning glory of Global Britain (literally - an excuse to rake in lots of trade deals while pretending to agree climate change targets nobody intended to even try to meet). But it looked like the Indians weren’t going to show, China couldn’t be that arsed either, and who knows who else’s not bother to send any meaningful delegation..?)

The hosts won't be for a start

mothman

  • I don't know why
Re: Long, hard & full of Australian seamen
« Reply #8 on: September 18, 2021, 08:25:54 PM »
Don't we rely on France for a lot of our energy needs. Perhaps an idea to try and keep them onside, like.

It’s apparently telling that the one ambassador they haven’t recalled is their one here. Attitude in France send to be it’s no more than they expect of us at this point, just more of our only-looking-out-for-number-one Global Britain bollix. They’re not angry, just disappointed.

chveik

  • crazy bit of business
Re: Long, hard & full of Australian seamen
« Reply #9 on: September 18, 2021, 09:02:53 PM »
the french mililtary has done a lot of nuclear testing in the south pacific in the 60s and 70s (at least 100k people were contaminated according to recent studies, and most of them have yet to be compensated) so personally i'm very glad to see my government getting fucked over this, although i don't think it matters much compared to french polynesia getting its independance

bgmnts

  • Depressed to the point of poisonous toxicity.
Re: Long, hard & full of Australian seamen
« Reply #10 on: September 18, 2021, 09:12:44 PM »
the french mililtary has done a lot of nuclear testing in the south pacific in the 60s and 70s (at least 100k people were contaminated according to recent studies, and most of them have yet to be compensated) so personally i'm very glad to see my government getting fucked over this, although i don't think it matters much compared to french polynesia getting its independance

Not to denigrate the French govts capacity for mindless cruelty but those feel like amateur numbers. I imagine the US and the UK's tally is monstrous.

Re: Long, hard & full of Australian seamen
« Reply #11 on: September 18, 2021, 09:47:18 PM »
It’s apparently telling that the one ambassador they haven’t recalled is their one here. Attitude in France send to be it’s no more than they expect of us at this point, just more of our only-looking-out-for-number-one Global Britain bollix. They’re not angry, just disappointed.



joke country

Bum Flaps

  • Don't cock it up this time!
Re: Long, hard & full of Australian seamen
« Reply #12 on: September 19, 2021, 12:19:11 AM »
What is point nuclear submarine without nuclear missiles?

mothman

  • I don't know why
Re: Long, hard & full of Australian seamen
« Reply #13 on: September 19, 2021, 01:07:39 AM »
It means you’re able to go down for longer. This is the real reason why the French are furious - the Australians will now be known to be better at cunnilingus than them.

ProvanFan

  • Aceveda's one-man campaign bankroll
Re: Long, hard & full of Australian seamen
« Reply #14 on: September 19, 2021, 01:10:21 AM »
Suranne will sort this out once she stops having flashbacks

Sonny_Jim

  • Kirkladn has a small penis
Re: Long, hard & full of Australian seamen
« Reply #15 on: September 19, 2021, 04:48:31 AM »
What is point nuclear submarine without nuclear missiles?
Quite.  I'm not sure either.  They are handy for launching off cruise missiles from just off the enemy toast like they did in the Gulf War, but it seems a really fucking expensive way to do it unless you add on 'oh and we can turn North Korea into glass' as well.

Also it's not a great idea for Australia to stick their necks out in terms of nuclear war.  On one side not that many people live there (IIRC there's more people living in London and Birmingham than the entirety of Australia) but the ones that are here are all bunched together and perfect for a couple of MIRVs raining down.

I've seen 'On The Beach', I know how it's going to go down.  If you'll excuse me I've got a race in my vintage Ferrari to go to.

Alberon

  • His heart is an empty fridge
Re: Long, hard & full of Australian seamen
« Reply #16 on: September 19, 2021, 08:21:49 AM »
Australia getting nuclear missiles is for the longer term as China’s military power increases.

Cold War II is well underway now. Unfortunately, I don’t think it’ll be the West that has the technological edge this time, especially given that China’s rulers are an even bigger bunch of bastards than our own.

Fambo Number Mive

  • Golden Member
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  • MAKE ROOM FOR THE MUSHROOMS
Re: Long, hard & full of Australian seamen
« Reply #17 on: September 19, 2021, 08:28:17 AM »
edit: ignore

Re: Long, hard & full of Australian seamen
« Reply #18 on: September 19, 2021, 08:35:52 AM »
French are always pissed off

Buelligan

  • STOP being afraid
More of the same
« Reply #19 on: September 19, 2021, 08:56:26 AM »
Great to see all our leaders continuing to do the cuntish things they always do which have achieved so much, for everyone, up until now.  And on our dime.  I hope they all die soon (and they don't take us with them). 

Re: Long, hard & full of Australian seamen
« Reply #20 on: September 19, 2021, 10:31:05 AM »
side not that many people live there (IIRC there's more people living in London and Birmingham than the entirety of Australia)

Australia has more than twice the population of London and Birmingham combined.

Australia population: 25.8 million

London population: 9 million
West Midlands population: 2.7 million

And as someone else has said before, the point of nuclear submarines is that they don't need refueling. These ones don't need refueling for their entire lifespan, which is what makes them attractive to Australia as it has no nuclear energy industry and the policies of both of its major political parties (and the Greens) is no nukes. mainly because they're beholden to the fossil fuels industry.


Paul Calf

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Re: Long, hard & full of Australian seamen
« Reply #21 on: September 19, 2021, 10:47:17 AM »
Britain looking more and more like the bloke who left his job on the promise of riches from Amway or Herbalife or whatever and is now the one everyone avoids at parties because they know that all they'll get is a extended sales puff about how brilliant their scammy, cultish products are and how they're better than all those ones you get from the big producers.



joke country

The quotes from the French minister sound perfect in the voice of Chris Barrie's French revolutionary in Blackkadder II.

Paul Calf

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Re: Long, hard & full of Australian seamen
« Reply #22 on: September 19, 2021, 10:53:06 AM »
Australia has more than twice the population of London and Birmingham combined.

Australia population: 25.8 million

London population: 9 million
West Midlands population: 2.7 million

And as someone else has said before, the point of nuclear submarines is that they don't need refueling. These ones don't need refueling for their entire lifespan, which is what makes them attractive to Australia as it has no nuclear energy industry and the policies of both of its major political parties (and the Greens) is no nukes. mainly because they're beholden to the fossil fuels industry.



Which is also why you'll get renewables in Australia when Frosty The Snowman conquers hell. Australia's vast, sunny deserts are perfect for solar and most of its inhabitants live near some sort of hydro power source but coal is huge in Aus.

Buelligan

  • STOP being afraid
Re: Long, hard & full of Australian seamen
« Reply #23 on: September 19, 2021, 11:19:20 AM »
I mean, look -


Re: Long, hard & full of Australian seamen
« Reply #24 on: September 20, 2021, 12:26:58 PM »
Which is also why you'll get renewables in Australia when Frosty The Snowman conquers hell. Australia's vast, sunny deserts are perfect for solar and most of its inhabitants live near some sort of hydro power source but coal is huge in Aus.
Apparently China has reduced its imports of Australian coal slightly in recent years, but it's still a bit odd for Australia to be threatening one of its biggest export markets. Unless the new subs are for missile attacks on Chinese hydroelectric projects.

Is the answer to "what's long, hard, and full of Australian semen?" a didgeridoo?

Re: Long, hard & full of Australian seamen
« Reply #25 on: September 20, 2021, 12:36:39 PM »
Probably something to do with dissuading a Chinese invasion of Taiwan, which the CCP are currently telling the Taiwanese they're about to do, and the US won't help you so tough. And the South China Sea stuff.

If this prevents a global nuclear holocaust I'm all in favour, and I don't care who knows it.

As for France, the strategic incompetence of Macron is astounding. The smart move would be damage limitation and trying to join the pact, rather than pissing off their allies and looking silly. I think Macron has done this before (the ambassador withdrawal method) with Italy over some trivial matter? A terribly flamboyant chap.

Buelligan

  • STOP being afraid
Re: Long, hard & full of Australian seamen
« Reply #26 on: September 20, 2021, 12:53:08 PM »
Having more weapons is bound to prevent war, your logic is faultless on that.

A terribly flamboyant chap.

Thank god the English are led by a reliable honest steady fellow.  Are you out of your mind on drugs, btw?  Criticise Macron all you like, he's no friend of mine but at least pretend you've seen yours.



Re: Long, hard & full of Australian seamen
« Reply #27 on: September 20, 2021, 01:11:18 PM »
Boris is a twat. I think we can all agree on that :-)

Meanwhile:

https://www.reuters.com/world/asia-pacific/taiwan-says-china-can-paralyse-its-defences-threat-worsening-2021-09-01/

https://asia.nikkei.com/Politics/International-relations/China-mobilizes-civilian-ferries-for-Taiwan-invasion-drills

It's happening. Now China has the hardware, it's getting ready. Shall we watch and do nothing?

chveik

  • crazy bit of business
Re: Long, hard & full of Australian seamen
« Reply #28 on: September 20, 2021, 02:03:55 PM »
Shall we watch and do nothing?

what do you propose exactly?

bgmnts

  • Depressed to the point of poisonous toxicity.
Re: Long, hard & full of Australian seamen
« Reply #29 on: September 20, 2021, 03:29:24 PM »
I'm on the phone to China right now.

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