Piece of shit clacky keyboards back in vogue

[touchingcloth]

Has anyone else noticed this? A lot of people at work seem to be using shitty clacky keyboards with inch-high keys.

This sort of thing:



They mostly seem to have one crucial[nb]I originally typed "key" here, but fuck that.[/nb] difference from my memories from the 90s - they're colourful rather than IBM beige, often with neon backlights.

This is like when people started wearing those piece of shit Casio watches again, except it means any video call at work - especially with developers - has a background which sounds like fucking Stomp.

[Registering to lurk]

Our company has invested in old-school clacky keyboards for all.

Apparently they are washable and can be safely swabbed to keep the plague at bay.

[idunnosomename]

Seems odd at the mo when we're otherwise hand-sanitising.

My old 90s keyboard was just horrifying when you levered off all the keys. Had to be careful with the spacebar because you could damage the little metal bridge and then the edges wouldnt work.

[Huxleys Babkins]

Anyone who buys a keyboard with Cherry MX blue switches to use in an office is a fucking prick and deserves to die.

[Replies From View]

Those aren't even the good clacky keyboards.  BBC micro and so on had actually satisfying ones to use.

[Registering to lurk]

Seems odd at the mo when we're otherwise hand-sanitising.

We do a lot of hot desk work so we're doing both. I can't begin to describe the horror of swapping desks with people who say "I'll just wipe down the keyboard for you," and then buff it with a sanitary wipe. Leaving you with a wet, slimy keyboard which feels like it has been marched over by an army of slugs.

[Huxleys Babkins]

We got some keyboards with an antimicrobial coating, but they insist we wipe them down after every shift, so we might as well have not bothered.

[The Ombudsman]

Anyone who buys a keyboard with Cherry MX blue switches to use in an office is a fucking prick and deserves to die.

I'll go die.

Worth it though.

[touchingcloth]

I have no idea what Cherry MX blue switches are[nb]Red Bull consider new flavour etc. etc.[/nb], but it certainly sounds like the kind of thing which makes you deserve to go ahead and go die, so I am delighted by this news.

[An tSaoi]

people started wearing those piece of shit Casio watches again

Do you mean the Casio F91W? Because that's one of the greatest watches ever made. More accurate than the finest Rolex.

[Blumf]

Anyone who buys a keyboard with Cherry MX blue switches to use in an office is a fucking prick and deserves to die.

Home office okay?

The real dickheads are the ones who (try) to use Dvorak layout.

[JesusAndYourBush]

My old 90s keyboard was just horrifying when you levered off all the keys.

A couple of years ago my old keyboard started to have some malfunctioning keys and when I levered up the keys, underneath was a mix of hairs and "biscuity stuff".

[touchingcloth]

Do you mean the Casio F91W? Because that's one of the greatest watches ever made. More accurate than the finest Rolex.

No idea on the model, the shitty 8-sided ones that people wore a lot, then stopped wearing, then started wearing again in huge numbers a few years back. I don't think many people are wearing them for the accuracy, not that I would dispute that it's more accurate than an automatic watch.

[Replies From View]

A couple of years ago my old keyboard started to have some malfunctioning keys and when I levered up the keys, underneath was a mix of hairs and "biscuity stuff".

Can you absolutely rely on that quotation being accurate?

[Bernice]

Casios are sick as fuck. Cheap, durable, functional, keep good time and a design classic.

[Sebastian Cobb]

I like them for the same reason I like the Seiko 5, in their day they both bought a new level of accuracy, reliability and durability to the masses for not much cost, they're egalitarian timepieces.

[Huxleys Babkins]

I'll go die.

Worth it though.

Thank you.

Home office okay?

The real dickheads are the ones who (try) to use Dvorak layout.

Yes, home office is fine. Anywhere where you won't disturb others is fine.

I have no idea what Cherry MX blue switches are[nb]Red Bull consider new flavour etc. etc.[/nb], but it certainly sounds like the kind of thing which makes you deserve to go ahead and go die, so I am delighted by this news.

The three main switch types people use are red, brown and blue, usually Cherry MX branded, but there are clones/equivalents from other manufacturers. Red are near-silent (save for the thud of the key and tap of the switch both bottoming out), brown have a slight click and blue have a loud click.

Of course, this has now turned into a huge "enthusiast"-fuelled industry, so there are other colours that fit along that spectrum for proper fucking bulbs with too much money who want a slightly different feel, plus you can trick your keyboard out with different gaskets, keycap materials, switch lubrication, and such which can change the sound again.

Either way, keep your fucking blues at home. And your RGB lighting. Cunt at work with blues and RGB lighting on his keyboard? Guaranteed paedo. Get his fucking hard drive checked.

[holyzombiejesus]

Presumably liked by a similar demographic.

[ImmaculateClump]

Innit?
Membrane keyboards for the win. Yes, especially for gaming.
"they last longer", not if I smash them to bits they don't.
So selfish. That noise clack clacking away.
I've got a clicky joystick, but at least I have the good grace to lock myself in my dingy hovel when I'm playing with it.

[touchingcloth]

Of course, this has now turned into a huge "enthusiast"-fuelled industry, so there are other colours that fit along that spectrum for proper fucking bulbs with too much money who want a slightly different feel, plus you can trick your keyboard out with different gaskets, keycap materials, switch lubrication, and such which can change the sound again.

Meu deus. If these cunts aren't just deliberately choosing to own a piece of shit clacky keyboard but are deliberately customising them to dial in a specific sound and volume of clack, then I've switched from thinking that I wouldn't be sad to hear of their untimely deaths, to considering going out with a knife and listening for the nearest clacks.

[holyzombiejesus]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sbiCLHJgj1U

I think this sounds really nice but if I was in a quiet office I would fucking despise whoever was using it.

You can hear a bit of each track from that Trunk album at the bottom of this page and some of them are just stupid.

https://trunkrecords.greedbag.com/buy/mechanical-keyboard-sounds-recor-0/

[Huxleys Babkins]

Now, you're probably read my diatribe up there and think I'm against these things. Well, can I just shock you? I like mechanical keyboards, in spite of all that stuff I said earlier.

The sound of keys clacking about is quite satisfying in that ASMR way (not for wanking, thanks) and some of the designs out there are just beautiful; I'm a sucker for a nice typeface and a nicely designed colourway and big chunky shapes. Something like this, for instance is incredibly satisfying to look at. Just want to to get my fingers all over those Boggle-dice looking bastards:



But, please folks, leave those clacky blue fuckers at home.

[Sebastian Cobb]

I've got brown Gaterons in mine, I think I meant to order red, there's basically no resistance for the key to drop so at first I'd find if I had my fingers lightly resting on the keys ready to type I was actually holding a key down and inputting gibberish.

A lot of the keyboards come with RGB leds, I didn't want this and turn it off. I also bought mine slightly because it reminds me of the Oric Atmos.



For a long time I had one of these and really quite liked it, I think I left it at home when at uni and my dad lobbed it out.


They used to make some people angry. Which I can kind of sympathise with as I've had to help colleagues who use a vertical mouse occasionally and them things are horrid.

[Blumf]

A lot of the keyboards come with RGB leds, I didn't want this and turn it off. I also bought mine slightly because it reminds me of the Oric Atmos.

I'd like one inspired by the mostly forgotten Elan Enterprise



Problem for me, with lots of those artisanal keyboards you see is that there layout is always to compact for general office use. I assume it works out great for gaming, but I want my num pad, and a bit of space for the various key groups to breathe.

Also, stupid colour lights. That can fuck off.

[JesusAndYourBush]

Do you mean the Casio F91W? Because that's one of the greatest watches ever made. More accurate than the finest Rolex.

Those are the dogs bollocks of watches.  Cheap, accurate, and they last for years. (Except for the strap which after a short time the rubber becomes rigid... and I know this doesn't happen with everyone, maybe some people have more acidic sweat or something?)
Also, and almost uniquely for a product, it's something that hasn't been redesigned over the years (and ruined in the process).  In fact they haven't just left the design the same, but I've noticed at least one improvement... Ok so remember when the watch battery was running out and whenever you did the light or the alarm it made the display go dimmer.  When the power was so low you'd sometimes even cause it to dim out completely and stay that way, but if you left the watch alone the display would fade back in after a few hours or days.  Ok so with my last F-91W the  battery was running low, but when I did the alarm or the light the alarm was very quiet, and the light was very dim.  So unlike my previous F-91W which happily allowed the alarm to beep at it's full volume and drain the battery, the latest one was detecting that the battery was low and not allowing so much power to be used for the alarm and the light, so some kind of power saving had been added.

Can you absolutely rely on that quotation being accurate?

Yes, it's exactly what I thought when I first saw it.
As to whether it actually contained biscuits - most unlikely - I never eat biscuits while I'm using the keyboard.

I'd like one inspired by the mostly forgotten Elan Enterprise

I remember it!  I also remember they got sued by Lotus and had to change the name, so they changed it to Flan because painting out the bottom part of the E was cheaper than having to remake everything that bore the name.

[Glebe]

Is this just a retro thing or what?

[Cold Meat Platter]

It's fucking gamers being wanks again.

[touchingcloth]

A lot of the keyboards come with RGB leds

To do what? Like Q is R, W is G, E is R, R is, errrrm, R again?

[Mr Banlon]

[Buelligan]

Have logitech GPRo stupid colour lights, clacky.  Given it.  Love it and I only like things without stupid colour lights normally.