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Spidey season

Started by flotemysost, September 17, 2021, 06:14:01 PM

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flotemysost

I'm a big fan of this time of year. Love seeing piles of tawny leaves everywhere, crisp sunshine, all that. Completely forgot about the absolute worst thing about this season though, until the other night when I was about to turn in and spotted a gangling behemoth of a spider kicking back on my bedside drawers.

Managed to get rid using the old "slide a bit of card under a glass, chuck out window" method, but I know this just the beginning. What if it already went in the drawers and fired out a load of babies in my socks? I refuse to kill them, partly because the idea of peeling the flattened remains off my stuff is too grim to contemplate but I also have a grudging respect for them, and going around executing stuff for merely existing probably isn't a great way to live - I just wish they weren't here.

What do you do with eight legged guests? I know someone who hoovers them up, which also seems a bit bleak. I also used to live with someone who ate a house spider in order to win an argument with her then-boyfriend, which is impressively rank but quite funny.


TrenterPercenter

I like them; cool little buggers.  My partner is terrified beyond belief by them they are just chilling and trying to eat the things you really don't want in your house laying eggs.

I think it is that incredible acceleration they have which scares people but someone told me once that is because their are essentially terrified; with their little spider hearts unable to run over long distances so they have these spurts of speed that they hope gets them away but have to stop suddenly because they are out of puff.  I feel some solidarity with them if this is the case.

Malcy

I had a beast in here a few weeks ago. Had to be a big shitebag and get my elderly neighbour to evict it for me. I'm getting better though. If I've had a few drinks then I usually get brave enough for the glass and bit of paper method but some of them wouldn't fit!

I've been really busy at work so haven't had time to do my washing and have had to really begrudgingly crack the heating on as it's really cold and damp and my clothes never dry inside and I end up ill. There's been one fella scooting about the past week, he's too fast to catch, so I expect to see him and a posse of his mates in here later tonight. Hopefully I'll be too pissed to care.

I generally don't mind unless they are on the ceiling or scuttling about the floor. Up in a corner? No bother mate. You stay out my road and I'll stay out yours. I rarely try kill them because I don't agree with it. When I moved in here I woke up with the noise of one falling onto the radiator. Titanium shell that spider had. It survived and ran under the bed never to be seen again.

I threw one out the window a couple of weeks ago and 15 minutes later it was back. Up a flight of stairs and back to the exact spot i had caught it. I knew it was the same one as I bent it's leg a little bit when putting it in the glass which I felt awful about. I have early warning detectors of little bits of plastic in the corners of the room. They usually follow the skirting boards so when they hit a floor corner I know they are there and prepare.

Echo Valley 2-6809

I think it was mentioned here before, but I've got one of these mamma-jammas



Good for just about everything in summer, and spiders, moths, craney-long-legs etc in autumn. Doesn't harm them - just say "it was nice meeting you" and put them outside.
The house spiders will probably find a way back in, but out of sight, out of mind.

shiftwork2

I'm a lifelong arachnophobe who has been partially cured by living in a house that's full of them.  By them, I mean the wispy insubstantial breed which likes to stay in the corner and, crucially, rarely startle me.  I get the occasional house spider and my tolerance level is much lower - postcard and tumbler for those boys.  Or the hoover if I'm pushed for time.

^ getting one of those.  Why hasn't some cunt made something like that before now?

JesusAndYourBush

Spidey season?  There's spiders in the house all year round!
I've been learning to not be so freaked out by spiders.  In the house I've noticed 3 distinct types.

'Spindly legs spiders'. They're the ones that have ridiculously long legs and spend almost all of their time in webs in the corner of the room, and anywhere else where you can put a web.  Between 2 shampoo bottles in the bathroom : web, in the basin in the bathroom : web, so I have to shoo it out of there so I can wash my face (that happened last night).  When the most wispy variety runs they're hilarious.  The other day one in the kitchen caught a crane fly and wrapped it up to create quite an amazing structure.  There can't have been much meat on it though because it'd discarded it about 10 hours later (compare that to a fly which took the one in the toilet 22 hours to finish).  It got me thinking, I wonder if crane fly tastes different to moth, and if the spiders have a preference?

'Jumping spiders'. These are quite cute really. One caught a massive bluebottle a few months ago much bigger than itself, it spent days feasting on it.  I saw one walking across my bedroom ceiling the other day and I wasn't even arsed.

Then there's the ones that used to freak me out the most because I never see them in webs, they have normally proportioned legs and I mainly see them running across the floor, they're unpredictable.  I did have to catch one last year and put it outside because it had a leg span almost the size of  the pint glass I caught it under, and that's just too much.  I could hear the sound of it's legs tramping on the piece of cardboard that was under the glass.   A small one was sitting on my bedroom wall a couple of weeks ago, when I was in bed it would have been about 3 feet from my head but I was able to go to sleep without being arsed.

This year I've rescued 2 spiders from the toilet.

So yeah, I think I'm over my fear of spiders.

pupshaw

Easier than the glass/card combo is to just use a tea-towel or other cloth and bundle them up and throw them out.
No need to be rough of course, but they are amazingly resilient and will unwind and crawl off once released.

Just be as gentle as you think you need to be not to crush them and they'll be fine.


paruses

Quote from: JesusAndYourBush on September 17, 2021, 06:57:40 PM

Then there's the ones that used to freak me out the most because I never see them in webs, they have normally proportioned legs and I mainly see them running across the floor, they're unpredictable.  I did have to catch one last year and put it outside because it had a leg span almost the size of  the pint glass I caught it under, and that's just too much.  I could hear the sound of it's legs tramping on the piece of cardboard that was under the glass.   A small one was sitting on my bedroom wall a couple of weeks ago, when I was in bed it would have been about 3 feet from my head but I was able to go to sleep without being arsed.

They are the only ones I can't cope with - body about half an inch (2.54cm) long and then those very angular legs. I don't mind tarantulas or black widows or funnel-webs etc even though I'd be wary because of their venom. I picked up a crane fly to put out today - which is basically a flying harvest spider minus two legs - without a second thought. But those with their skittering and random choices of destination really do strike a panic into me. I can only think it's some childhood trauma I have yet to uncover.

One had fallen into the dog's water bowl the other day and  I felt bad it had come to such an end overnight so I got a slotted spoon to perform the body recovery task. Once it was out, I was walking to the back door to flick it out into the garden, and pretending to be the coastguard rescue helicopter, when it suddenly unpacked itself into its terrifying shape and hopped off the spoon running unpredictably across the kitchen and to an unknown shelter. Dick. I have to move house now.

Rizla

One abseiled down and landed on my nose when I was in bed the other night, I was just like "gerrof!". Spiders don't bother me but the slugs that are able to squeeze through the .5mm gap in my kitchen door are all cunts. I've taken to salting the threshold which mostly keeps them out but you get the odd one getting trapped and fizzling to death. There should be a device that sooks them up then fires them over/into the garden wall.

Sebastian Cobb

I just leave them to it and flick them out the bath if they get stuck.

Kankurette

Ignore them. Mice, on the other hand? They can fuck off.

Ted-Maul

I usually have a house spider living in the corner of the windowsill in the kitchen which has helped desensitze me to the fuckers.... years ago i would have to kill them because the thought of them scuttling around in my living space was too much.

I was late for work once when i had to spend 20 minutes summoning up the courage to splat one on my bathroom wall cos i couldnt just leave it. Everyone laughed their arses off and my manager thought i was taking the piss but it was true.

There's been three or four in the kitchen window this year but they have dwindled down to just one absolute monster which is living under the toaster which i suspect has killed the others.... do they do this? It comes out every time i do the dishes to see what all the racket is about. Can't wait till it fucks off to be honest, although i'm begrudgingly happy to leave it be. Now i've learnt to ignore them i do regret killing them in the past. But theyre just so eeuurrgghh.

Had one stuck in the bath the other week that was too big to be removed with a pint glass and had to go in a cardboard box. That bastard was put straight out into the back yard but today, i scooped up a smaller one (again from the bath) and just left the beaker on the bathroom floor and allowed it to just go about its business. I'm getting better.

Janie Jones

I'm too arachnophobiic to even read this thread. Are the eight-legged cunts abundant this year? I don't want to know.
Here's a CaB spider thread from 10 years ago

https://www.cookdandbombd.co.uk/forums/index.php/topic,29322.0.html





paruses

Just like to point out I gave the metric equivalent of one inch in my post. I did, of course, mean that the spiders that terrify me have an horrendous body length of approx 1.27cm.

Malcy

Quote from: Kankurette on September 17, 2021, 07:36:11 PM
Ignore them. Mice, on the other hand? They can fuck off.

My cat brings in mice from time to time and I could handle a swarm of them and/or rats and be 1000x calmer than if a decent sized spider appeared.

Malcy

Quote from: Janie Jones on September 17, 2021, 08:02:39 PM
I'm too arachnophobiic to even read this thread. Are the eight-legged cunts abundant this year? I don't want to know.
Here's a CaB spider thread from 10 years ago

https://www.cookdandbombd.co.uk/forums/index.php/topic,29322.0.html






Not to freak you out but apparently this years weather means an abundance of big fuck off spiders. And strawberries, which is apparent from tons of them being reduced in supermarkets. I'd much rather strawberries invaded my home. At least I could eat them...

Janie Jones

Touchwood, my draughty Victorian house is, I hardly dare say it, spider-free. You can hardly move for conkers, though. They line the skirting boards of every room. Seems to work. They desiccate over the year and I replace them every October.

MikeP

I like proper spiders, the ones that eat proper flies. Trouble is I don't allow them webs and they're not that good at stalking their prey. They get by though.

Not too keen on being woken in the night when one of them takes a short cut across my face though.

Sebastian Cobb

I've had a bigger problem with flies, they seem to come in when I open my French balcony then set up shop, had a load of fruit flys rush out my food waste box thing when i was emptying it, I suspect those two are related.

I bought a bug zapper light bulb thing but am still waiting for it to turn up.

Rizla

Quote from: Sebastian Cobb on September 17, 2021, 09:25:15 PM
I've had a bigger problem with flies, they seem to come in when I open my French balcony then set up shop, had a load of fruit flys rush out my food waste box thing when i was emptying it, I suspect those two are related.
We've been plagued of fruit flies too - a good solution we've found is a jar with something they like in (orange slices work well but my homemade sourdough bread is the most effective), covered in clingfilm and pricked with little holes. They go in but can't get out. Watch the jar fill up with the silly sods.

flotemysost

Quote from: Kankurette on September 17, 2021, 07:36:11 PM
Mice, on the other hand? They can fuck off.

I always assumed I was tolerant of mice until I lived in a place where they decided to move in. Overnight one of them gnawed a perfect Tom & Jerry-style half-moon portico in my bedroom door - no doubt the damage they could cause unchecked over time would be mad. They're gutsy cunts too and will gladly face up to creatures hundreds of times bigger than them, whereas spiders wouldn't hurt a fly are understandably scared of humans.

Quote from: Janie Jones on September 17, 2021, 08:02:39 PM
I'm too arachnophobiic to even read this thread.

I decided it was probably a bit rich to request that people don't embed massive unspoilered photos of them in this thread (seeing as I did literally go and start a thread about spiders), but I think I remember the thread you've linked to there and I'm a bit too scared to click on it.

Malcy

Quote from: Sebastian Cobb on September 17, 2021, 09:25:15 PM
I've had a bigger problem with flies, they seem to come in when I open my French balcony then set up shop, had a load of fruit flys rush out my food waste box thing when i was emptying it, I suspect those two are related.

I bought a bug zapper light bulb thing but am still waiting for it to turn up.

I'm often plagued by bluebottles but the last week has been fruit fly centric. Was at my Gran's last weekend and went to empty her food bin and got a face full of them. Must be at their peak.

bgmnts

Pretty sure they will keep most flies and stuff away so I don't mind them really. I'll probably let them set up shop in the corner of my room, no harm done.

Glebe

Spidey fucker gave me a fright the other day. Then there was a bit of drama with a wasp yesterday!

Pranet

There do seem to be a lot of them around this year. I don't mind them generally, though like most people I don't like it when they jump at you unawares.

It is the time of year when daddy long legs wait until I'm in bed before one of them decides to come in through the bedroom window and buzz loudly in and around the lampshade until I get up and turf the bugger out, and repeat.

Butchers Blind

Limmy don't give a fuck about spiders


PlanktonSideburns

Was it kittens that used to call them krinklecranks?

Glebe

Reckon this is gonna be the 'Year of the Spider', with an absolute plague of the bastards making one last valiant attempt to take over civilisation before global warming melts them forever! It's just a guess!


flotemysost

Quote from: Glebe on September 17, 2021, 11:53:03 PM
Reckon this is gonna be the 'Year of the Spider', with an absolute plague of the bastards making one last valiant attempt to take over civilisation before global warming melts them forever! It's just a guess!

Seems to be a pretty established theory that if more of the global population started eating invertebrates instead of mammals, fish etc. it would have a significant positive impact on climate change and world hunger, so perhaps they'll be our saviours yet.


JesusAndYourBush

Quote from: Ted-Maul on September 17, 2021, 07:41:23 PM
one absolute monster which is living under the toaster which i suspect has killed the others.... do they do this?

I observed one spider going too near to another spider a few weeks ago, and one of them just ran away as fast as possible.  In the bathroom there's often 2 or 3 spiders pitching their webs quite close together.  I'm reminded of when I was a kid going to school on a frosty morning and the frost had made all the spiders webs on hedges really noticeable, and there was always dozens of them all really close together.  So I guess that means they're not that territorial, and fairly tolerant of each other up to a point.