Spidey season

[Jittlebags]

I twated the last bluebottle of the year with an electrobat earlier. It fell onto the floor near the fridge, it's wings buzzing, but not in a synchronous manner for it to fly. Then a spider half the size hoofs up from under the skirting, and with an effort drags the still buzzing fly to it's doom

[shiftwork2]

I twated the last bluebottle of the year with an electrobat earlier. It fell onto the floor near the fridge, it's wings buzzing, but not in a synchronous manner for it to fly. Then a spider half the size hoofs up from under the skirting, and with an effort drags the still buzzing fly to it's doom

I hate flies (of course) but I still despise the spider in this instance; shitty stealth and lazy opportunism.  There is nothing to admire.

[JesusAndYourBush]

One time I wondered if spiders could eat anything other than insects, so I flicked a tiny crumb of bread into its web to see what it'd do.  It picked it up and threw it out of the web, and the way it did it (although surely you can't judge the body language of a spider) was a gesture of utter disgust, like "Get that filth out of my web!"

[Poirots BigGarlickyCorpse]

I used to be afraid of spiders, and then a big one fell on my head and scuttled around for a few seconds before I brushed it off. Cured me right up.

I leave them alone unless they're in the bath/sink and can't get out because I don't want to drown them/have a dead spider floating in my bathwater. I entice them onto some card and shake them out the window.

Mice can fuck off, they carry disease. Once saw a mouse at my parents' place leap over a trap, then turn around and leap over it again for an extra fuck you.

[shiftwork2]

One time I wondered if spiders could eat anything other than insects, so I flicked a tiny crumb of bread into its web to see what it'd do.  It picked it up and threw it out of the web, and the way it did it (although surely you can't judge the body language of a spider) was a gesture of utter disgust, like "Get that filth out of my web!"

Reminds me of an ex who flicked a dead fly into a spider's web to see what would happen.  Over the course of 24h or so the spider cut out a little hole in the web so the prize fell away, then proceeded to fill the hole in.  I was quite impressed with the spider but frankly she had to go.

[markburgle]

I hate them, to the extent I had to force myself to get over my fear just enough to be able to dispose of them (humanely) should one appear.

Sometimes I think of finding the most horrific house-spider picture I can and just setting it as my screensaver, forced desensitisation. Haven't had the guts yet. Annoys me when you tell people and they go "yeah I'm like that, I'm terrified of sharks!". No dumbass that ain't the same. Unless sharks routinely come rushing at you from the skirting boards, destabilising your whole evening.

My flatmate hates them even more than me, and thinks this gives her the right to kill them, which makes me view her with utter contempt. The sheer blinkered, childishness of it. Whenever I try to catch one she just stands behind me scowling "Kill it! Kill iiiit!". Stupid bitch.

[madhair60]

big belm at the idiot who posted the gif on the previous page

[The Dog]

I was deathly afraid of all creepy crawlies until I got mixed up in a series of crazy adventures with a wisecracking house spider. Was amazing.

[Dex Sawash]

Was it kittens that used to call them krinklecranks?

Yes, made CaB go krinklecrank mad but maybe we haven't arranged the letters correctly

[Jittlebags]

I quite like the stripey garden spiders. You touch the web and they do a lot of weird shaking about.

[Sebastian Cobb]

There was a huge bastard above my bedside lamp last night, then they started scuttling over the bit of wall above my head so I flicked them off the wall with a book, didn't like the idea of them falling off the wall as I slept and climbing into me gob or something.

[ZoyzaSorris]

I like 'em. They are of course present for most of the year but this is when a lot of them get big as many species have an annual life cycle, reaching adulthood early autumn before laying eggs and dying off once it gets cold.
I like 'em all but especially keen on jumping spiders, awesome little guys

[GoblinAhFuckScary]

managed to see hardly any somehow. i am also a fairly oblivious person but house spiders scare me so much i'm getting like fear stomach cramps imagining them

[The Mollusk]

I get total fear paralysis from unexpectedly encountering spiders. There was one in our bathroom about a year ago, it was on a towel hanging off the rung of the radiator, so no hard surface behind it which would make the glass/cardboard manoeuvre far more difficult. I sat in the hall staring at it for honestly like half an hour just completely unable to figure out what to do, I was terrified.

Through some very elaborate and convoluted methods I was eventually able to catch it, and I took it outside and walked right across the road and chucked it in a neighbour's garden to ensure it wouldn't come back in. Fucking hate spiders, horrifying.

[flotemysost]

I quite like the stripey garden spiders. You touch the web and they do a lot of weird shaking about.

They are rather beautiful. It's weird, I can appreciate this and also accept that they are harmless, beneficial and generally quite awesome creatures, but I still panic when I know there's one in the same room as me (above a certain size threshold anyway, and outdoors it doesn't really bother me). I have quite frequent nightmares about them lumbering out from behind curtains and picture frames in my home. I've got much better - I once had a full on hyperventilating panic attack when there was a massive one on the ceiling over my bed - but I still can't shake the unease they give me.

Does anyone else find that when you wear sunscreen/moisturiser etc. on your face, little flies and other airborne insects seem to hurl themselves at you when you go outside? One fucking flew up my nose in the park the other day. I suppose I could always ask my spidey pal to go up there and fetch it for me.

[Malcy]

Was in the bathroom last night and there was 4 legs poking out from between the window frame and the wall. I coughed and it went back in but slowly emerged again after a few seconds.

Was hoping it didn't end up like the one that was drowned in the bowl a few days earlier.

[Blue Jam]

Fucking love spiders. Love testingnout my macro lens on them when I find one in the house. I also love finding a big Orb Weaver web outdoors and blowing on it so the inhabitant does a proper Drag Race-style death drop. Impressive the length of silk they can secrete in a fraction of a second.

Best solution I've found for blackfly is a Pinguicula carnivorous plant. Not been troubled with them since I stopped keeping houseplants though. Seems a bit daft, countering the problem caused by houseplants with another houseplant. Easier to just not have any houseplants.

Don't bother with a Venus Flytrap. They didn't evolve to live in pots in houses which is why they always fucking die.

[greenman]

[flotemysost]

^ OK that is stunning tbf. Just gonna try to ignore the fact it came out of a spider's arsehole.

[Blue Jam]

[All Surrogate]

'Spindly legs spiders'. They're the ones that have ridiculously long legs and spend almost all of their time in webs in the corner of the room, and anywhere else where you can put a web.

I think you're talking about Cellar spiders. I don't mind those, as they eat House spiders, which I detest.

[mrClaypole]

My flat seems to have loads of the buggers in.  Everytime I look into a corner theres one of them lazing around in his lair.
I had to defrost the fridge the other week and moved a wooden panel to switch it off.  I didn't put the panel back on successfully and I noticed all afternoon that there were tiny baby spiders emerging from the small crack I had left.  I let them get on with whatever dastardly deed they were planning.  I noticed that they seem to disappear as quickly as they emerged.
And why do we only get those filmsy thin spiders these days?. What happened to all the angry built like brick shit houses Mother's we used to get?

[Malcy]

What happened to all the angry built like brick shit houses Mother's we used to get?

They moved into my house...

[Pancake]

Hate the cunts. DEAD SOON if I see them.

[Twonty Gostelow]

Spider and children under someone's bed.



   When was the last time you looked under your bed?

[flotemysost]

^ I skim-read the text there and for a second I thought the thing on the ground was the person's bed and a galactic spider was looming above them.

Was gonna put a request in the OP for people not to embed big unspoilered close-up photos of them, but decided that was probably a bit rich after starting a thread dedicated to them. And they are beautiful, in a horrific sort of way (although a few years ago the above photo would've had me slamming my laptop shut and cowering in a corner). Some thicc thighs on that specimen there.

[Twonty Gostelow]

^ I skim-read the text there and for a second I thought the thing on the ground was the person's bed and a galactic spider was looming above them.

When it mentioned safely relocating his visitors I thought it meant he had people staying over that he now had to find a hotel for. How do you "safely relocate" a thousand small(-ish) spiders anyway?

[Cold Meat Platter]

Spider and children under someone's bed.



   When was the last time you looked under your bed?

I'm no spiderologist but isn't that spider a couple of legs short?


EDIT: Ah no, Ted, it's just that the front two are very close together.

[flotemysost]

When it mentioned safely relocating his visitors I thought it meant he had people staying over that he now had to find a hotel for. How do you "safely relocate" a thousand small(-ish) spiders anyway?

Yeah, if he was using the "slide a card under a glass" method he'd need a champagne saucer at the very least for mama. Suspect the babies were probably safely relocated TO THE BIN