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have you ever foiled a crime

Started by madhair60, September 19, 2021, 03:22:13 PM

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Icehaven

Many years ago when I was a teenager I was walking home from the pub with some mates at about midnight and as we were crossing a road bridge over a river a car pulled up, a bloke leapt out, grabbed a briefcase from the boot, threw it over the bridge into the river then jumped back in the car and tore off. We looked over the bridge but it was dark so we couldn't see anything, so one of my friends put in an anonymous call to the police (this was pre mobiles so we had to use a phonebox), and we went back the next day but there wasn't anything in the river. We never heard any more about it anyway but I doubt we foiled a crime so much as witnessed a small part of it's aftermath.

Mister Six

Quote from: Barry Admin on September 19, 2021, 03:45:10 PM
The sad part of all this that does cause me some sort of weird feelings of guilt is that, while he was down there, him and two other guys ended up murdering a father of nine.

Ah, you have to absolve yourself of that. You're in no way responsible for their cunt actions, regardless of any prior relationship you had with them. If they're the sort to do that, then they'd do the same anywhere, and might have just ended up killing someone on your estate instead. Absolutely nothing to do with you.

kngen

Stopped a guy stealing a (very expensive looking) bike from inside a kebab shop on Bethnal Green Road. The bike's lycra-clad owner parked it inside the door, then fucked off to the shops across the road. Some guy walked past, spotted it and wheeled it out and was just about to ride it off when my wife shouted "Hey, that's not yours." I ran out, kicked the back wheel to send him off balance then pushed him off the bike. He turned round to confront me just as the kebab shop owner ran outside, started shouting at him and the would-be thief legged it.

We wheeled the bike back in, and then the owner turned up a few minutes later. "You should be saying thanks to these people," the kebab shop man said to him. "They stopped a man from stealing your bike."

"Oh," said the man. "Erm ... thanks?"

So that was worthwhile. Then, when I was in the same place a few days later, the owner greeted me like a long-lost brother: "My friend! Remember when we stopped that thief?"

I smiled and nodded, then the smile slowly disappeared as he recounted the tale to one of the other regulars, but a very convoluted version where he and my wife teamed up to foil the heist, and where he was the one that bravely vaulted the counter, ran outside with his big kebab knife, single-handedly grabbed the guy, then sent him fleeing into the night and I did ... fuck all apparently?

No good turn goes untarnished.

Butchers Blind

Quote from: kngen on September 19, 2021, 08:44:39 PM
Stopped a guy stealing a (very expensive looking) bike from inside a kebab shop on Bethnal Green Road. The bike's lycra-clad owner parked it inside the door, then fucked off to the shops across the road. Some guy walked past, spotted it and wheeled it out and was just about to ride it off when my wife shouted "Hey, that's not yours." I ran out, kicked the back wheel to send him off balance then pushed him off the bike. He turned round to confront me just as the kebab shop owner ran outside, started shouting at him and the would-be thief legged it.

We wheeled the bike back in, and then the owner turned up a few minutes later. "You should be saying thanks to these people," the kebab shop man said to him. "They stopped a man from stealing your bike."

"Oh," said the man. "Erm ... thanks?"

So that was worthwhile. Then, when I was in the same place a few days later, the owner greeted me like a long-lost brother: "My friend! Remember when we stopped that thief?"

I smiled and nodded, then the smile slowly disappeared as he recounted the tale to one of the other regulars, but a very convoluted version where he and my wife teamed up to foil the heist, and where he was the one that bravely vaulted the counter, ran outside with his big kebab knife, single-handedly grabbed the guy, then sent him fleeing into the night and I did ... fuck all apparently?

No good turn goes untarnished.

Told a few more times by the kebeb shop owner and he will have knifed the theif with his big kebab knife and then run off with your wife. You still did fuck all, apparently.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

I once went 'haha it is the bad man' and a man crumpled before me and confessed to 23 paedophilias on little kids.

He is in jail now, Belize is a sort of jail.

Ian Drunken Smurf

I know someone who covered an open can of baked beans in foil. Stopped them from depositing them on a doorstep. Was that foiling a crime? Asking for a friend.

The Ombudsman

One Christmas years ago I was on the early Christmas eve train home and a regular on my journey was there, shit faced. I thought they would be getting a cab, but saw then walk up to one of their expensive cars, get in and drive off from the station. I called the cops with the reg number telling them the driver was clearly drunk and I'd be prepared to make a statement to that effect.

Saw him shortly afterwards and he was driving, so I assume the filth didn't do anything. But I felt like I did the right thing.

Bad Ambassador

Chased after and caught a thief who took a friend's bag, then scared him into handing it back.

kngen

Quote from: Butchers Blind on September 19, 2021, 09:25:19 PM
Told a few more times by the kebeb shop owner and he will have knifed the theif with his big kebab knife and then run off with your wife. You still did fuck all, apparently.

Well, I hope they're very happy together.

paruses

Arrived back to the house where I had rooms (a room - but makes me sound like Sherlock Holmes or a John Buchan character). The others in the house were elderly clergy who retired there. A neighbour was standing outside and said not to go in because he had seen two men breaking in and the gards were on their way. As there were at least two old boys inside I decided I really should go in and check nothing of mine had been taken.  I went in and the burglars were there with a cash box and couple of other bits. I decided that although I could definitely be like Taken in the film Taken and dispatch them in an instance, it was best to ask them to leave as the gards were on their way. I think I even opened the door for them - it used to stick a bit - you just needed to have the knack. I then had to drive round the area looking for them with the gards like we were in the video for Ghost Town.

The SOCO man who later came round to find no fingerprints gave me load of very indiscreet information about Martin "The General" Cahill who had lived up the road.

All in all, I am very pleased I did not get battered.



Small Man Big Horse

Back in the late nineties when I was living in a shared house in Cambridge at about 2am I heard some glass being smashed, I didn't quite know what was going on but thought I'd lean out of the window and shout in my gruffest voice possible "Get out of it", only to then see someone sprint across our garden and jump over the hedge. Turns out he'd knocked over and smashed a milk bottle by the back door rather than it being anything window related, but I'm fairly certain he'd have broken in and stolen stuff if that hadn't happened, though given that we were all fairly broke students bar a shitty tv and a playstation I'm not sure what that might have been. Unless he was one of those mass murderers you get in Cambridge, then I guess I saved all of our lives and deserve a medal.

Buelligan

Quote from: Janie Jones on September 19, 2021, 04:07:26 PM
Buelligan once described on these boards how she avoided a sexual assault by pulling a knife on a man who had offered her a lift, is that the sort of thing you're after?

I can't speak for the other women posters but if I can speak for my women friends and peers I think I can safely say literally all of us have at some time scuppered some man's plans to assault us, by lying, running, fighting, pretending to be out/sick/someone else/waiting for muscle-bound brother, jumping into a taxi, I could go on but I think this probably isn't the sort of response you had in your mind when you started the thread.

I did that, yeah.  Also was followed then chased by a strange man, me wearing fucking stilettos (not even lying), across wasteland and a building site, down by the canal (short cut home).  Realised I couldn't outrun the cunt, not in those heels.  So took those fucking shoes, ran straight back towards him and told him to come on up and I'd stick one through his fucking skull.  That surprised the cunt.  He followed me, at a distance of about ten metres, all the way home.  It was horrible.  But I'd always recommend not taking this shit lying down.  Mark the fucks, even if it is just mentally.  Put the fear of god into them.

holyzombiejesus

I spotted our window cleaner going in to the job centre and immediately reported him to the authorities for benefit fraud.

Head Gardener

Working in a hardware store years ago (anyone remember Shergolds?) I was trying to fix the staff loo as it wouldn't flush, so I stood on the seat and lifted the cistern top and found a package of bank notes (about £200) wrapped in a polythene bag stuffed inside. Thinking that someone must have been on the fiddle in the store which only had 4 employees and so I quietly rang head office who advised me to put it back, go home as usual and say nothing but not to come in the following day.
So the day after that when I went into work the 2 other sales assistants were all excited as they said the police had been in the previous day and arrested the manager in the shop and led him out in handcuffs as it turned out he had been nicking stuff for months not only from the till but taking shit loads of things like drills and resalable electrics which had been found filling up his garage at home. I was promoted to assistant manager for my efforts but within months the shop/company went bust and the building became an amusement arcade.

Janie Jones

Quote from: Buelligan on September 21, 2021, 12:16:00 PM
I did that, yeah.  Also was followed then chased by a strange man, me wearing fucking stilettos (not even lying), across wasteland and a building site, down by the canal (short cut home).  Realised I couldn't outrun the cunt, not in those heels.  So took those fucking shoes, ran straight back towards him and told him to come on up and I'd stick one through his fucking skull.  That surprised the cunt.  He followed me, at a distance of about ten metres, all the way home.  It was horrible.  But I'd always recommend not taking this shit lying down.  Mark the fucks, even if it is just mentally.  Put the fear of god into them.

That man who chased you would have caught and overpowered me, and that's not my fault. Some women are not very tall, fit or strong, some choose to wear impractical clothes and shoes, yes, even 'fucking stilettos'. I don't endorse your recommendation to generate fear and confront potential assailants with a fucking weapon. I'm sure however we both heartily wish men would leave women the fuck alone.

Buelligan


Icehaven

Quote from: Head Gardener on September 21, 2021, 12:48:58 PM
Working in a hardware store years ago (anyone remember Shergolds?) I was trying to fix the staff loo as it wouldn't flush, so I stood on the seat and lifted the cistern top and found a package of bank notes (about £200) wrapped in a polythene bag stuffed inside. Thinking that someone must have been on the fiddle in the store which only had 4 employees and so I quietly rang head office who advised me to put it back, go home as usual and say nothing but not to come in the following day.
So the day after that when I went into work the 2 other sales assistants were all excited as they said the police had been in the previous day and arrested the manager in the shop and led him out in handcuffs as it turned out he had been nicking stuff for months not only from the till but taking shit loads of things like drills and resalable electrics which had been found filling up his garage at home. I was promoted to assistant manager for my efforts but within months the shop/company went bust and the building became an amusement arcade.

Why did head office tell you not to go to work the next day?

madhair60

Quote from: icehaven on September 21, 2021, 01:21:52 PM
Why did head office tell you not to go to work the next day?

it was saturday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Icehaven

A house a few doors up from us has just turned their front garden into a drive, however there isn't a dropped kerb there which apparently means that's not allowed. Obviously we'll report it to the council but is it worth telling the police too, get the ball rolling?

Head Gardener

Quote from: icehaven on September 21, 2021, 01:21:52 PM
Why did head office tell you not to go to work the next day?

I dunno I just did as I was told, it also turned out the manager was the son of the owner of the company Big Boss Shergold himself

Poobum

Once stopped a Metal Gear farting about. Did fuck all about that Metal Ray though, didn't even pick up the phone.

Icehaven

Quote from: Head Gardener on September 21, 2021, 02:12:14 PM
I dunno I just did as I was told, it also turned out the manager was the son of the owner of the company Big Boss Shergold himself

Did you find out what happened to him?

Gurke and Hare

Quote from: icehaven on September 21, 2021, 02:42:42 PM
Did you find out what happened to him?

He got into the Guinness Book of Records for getting the most birthday cards.

Head Gardener


Icehaven

It just sounds a bit suss, the police acted remarkably fast, wouldn't it take them at least a few days to look into it before marching in and making an arrest? Unless it was already under investigation, and you were told not to go in in case you accidentally said something and tipped him off.

Head Gardener

Quote from: icehaven on September 21, 2021, 03:47:09 PM
It just sounds a bit suss, the police acted remarkably fast, wouldn't it take them at least a few days to look into it before marching in and making an arrest? Unless it was already under investigation, and you were told not to go in in case you accidentally said something and tipped him off.

that is incredibly possible, apparently he had a massive gambling habit, the police must have gone into the shop and grilled the staff and he'll have broken under interrogation

mothman

Quote from: icehaven on September 21, 2021, 01:25:25 PM
A house a few doors up from us has just turned their front garden into a drive, however there isn't a dropped kerb there which apparently means that's not allowed. Obviously we'll report it to the council but is it worth telling the police too, get the ball rolling?

You can apply to put a dropped kerb in. It's not even really an application, more like you apply (and pay) for instructions on how to do it. Even though it'll usually be a firm doing it for you and they know perfectly well how to do it. Or that's how it was when we put one in.

Icehaven

Quote from: mothman on September 21, 2021, 08:16:14 PM
You can apply to put a dropped kerb in. It's not even really an application, more like you apply (and pay) for instructions on how to do it. Even though it'll usually be a firm doing it for you and they know perfectly well how to do it. Or that's how it was when we put one in.

[nb]I wasn't being entirely serious[/nb].

mothman


Oz Oz Alice

I prevent murders every day by not killing anyone, but I don't like to brag about it.