Things games need

[Barry Admin]

I saw a very realistic looking public bathroom in Warzone earlier, and it reminded me of a post I read here years ago, which has always stayed with me.

The poster was bemoaning the lack of innovation in the new Splinter Cell title. Every time a new one came out he would go through the same routine: find the nearest bathroom, don his heat vision goggles, and carefully inspect each of the bowls for a visibly fresh steamer.

What do you want to be able to do in games?

[PlanktonSideburns]

Less military stuff, more weird jobs and fuckabouts, like death standing

More games that when you die, that's IT

[Sonny_Jim]

I mean, we are at the stage where someones job was to simulate horses testicles retracting when it's cold in RDR2, so anything is possible really.

[bgmnts]

Yeah anything toilet related. The ability to just piss anytime you wanted would be nice.

[brat-sampson]

Yeah anything toilet related. The ability to just piss anytime you wanted would be nice.

Death Stranding has this for most of the game. Gotta track your bladder level. Plus when you pee, plants grow, and you can collect your pee to make piss-weapons.

[Utter Shit]

Death Stranding has this for most of the game. Gotta track your bladder level. Plus when you pee, plants grow, and you can collect your pee to make piss-weapons.

That's not new, you could piss in snowballs and throw them in South Park on the N64!

[AsparagusTrevor]

Of course there was Postal 2 which allowed you to piss on command (on people and dogs and Gary Coleman etc)

[bgmnts]

Death Stranding has this for most of the game. Gotta track your bladder level. Plus when you pee, plants grow, and you can collect your pee to make piss-weapons.

Yeah I mean I dont want it as part of some survival mechanic or anything. Just any game, any genre, should have a piss and shit button.

[Sonny_Jim]

"How to be a complete bastard" on the speccy being light years in the future with it's 'wee-o-meter' and ability to generate and expel farts.

[Excellent_Biscuits]

Aw yeah characters should change into ovens way more often!

[Gurke and Hare]

Didn't you have to piss in The Sims too?

(This discussion about pissing in games what you had in mind when you started the thread Barry?)

[Chedney Honks]

A high skill ceiling and deep mechanical controls are some things I really look for in games. Even if I never get anywhere near the ceiling, I enjoy the feeling of improving and building muscle memory and tasting the occasional glimpse of perfection.

That will keep me coming back way beyond any graphics or 'funnee' writing or whatever.

[thecuriousorange]

You could "piss" in Duke Nukem 3D by walking up to a urinal and pressing Space for a comedy sound effect.

[Chollis]

wish you could fly in more games

[beanheadmcginty]

I would like the option to switch off all cutscenes from the outset.

[Kelvin]

wish you could fly in more games

Holy shit, this is a good one. Always wishing you could do that in the endgame of more games.

[Barry Admin]

Holy shit, this is a good one. Always wishing you could do that in the endgame of more games.

Yeah it's a good one. Playing Forsaken again of late, I was reminded that it used to be quite common to hide cheats in games, most of which were obviously used on development, but it was nice that they were then repurposed as extra content for when you'd rinsed the game as intended.

My favourite thing in games really is always movement, so I'd love for a lot more of them to have the feel, speed and freedom of Quake III Arena, Apex Legends and Titanfall.

Advanced movement in Call of Duty was great fun, but they had to get rid of that because of all the boring shitty kids demanding "boots on the ground."

[H-O-W-L]

I want more of yer violent bastard games to have realistic depiction of overwhelming force and physicality. I don't mean gore or violence, I mean that hitting people hard as fuck should actually drop them properly, and adhering clearly to hit-points alone should be ditched in yer more pseudorealistic titles. That or stuff like putting a bullet in someone's head should drop them. It's something I love about both Red Dead Redemptions that shooting a feller in that thur thinkin iron done did put him up there boot hill no matter what stage of the game you were at. Similarly, despite finding it a kettle of piss Fallout 4 made you have bonkers levels of unarmed damage when you were in Power Armor and it was very fun to punch people in the face and watch them hit the dirt properly.

Always feels wank when you're a level 50 thunderfucker and you have a gozmillion arseblaster and yet firing it into someone's opened, terrified eyes does little more than irritate them. I don't need gore, just a little puff of red and them go "ah fuck me eyes" is enough. It's why I love the original X-COM: UFO Defense; a solid shot would drop pretty much any cunt.

I've been playing Fallout 76 recently and this has pissed me the fuck off. I'm level 70+ with pretty much the best guns in the game and no humanoid enemy poses any threat anymore, yet they still take four or five shots and it just feels like such a fucking waste of time for me and a waste of time for the devs to crank these numbers up every time. More games should be unafraid to have binary combat at a certain point.

The first Fallout did this very well; by the time you get to the Military Base you tend to kill enemies in a single hit, or they kill you. Simple. Fair.

[Kelvin]

Yeah it's a good one. Playing Forsaken again of late, I was reminded that it used to be quite common to hide cheats in games, most of which were obviously used on development, but it was nice that they were then repurposed as extra content for when you'd rinsed the game as intended.

Probably my most missed thing about early gen games. Game breaking cheats that you unlock by design. That's my answer to the OP, in hindsight.

And of course, Mario 64, the game that pretty much defined modern 3D games let you fly on multiple levels, just by getting an item.

[QDRPHNC]

I want more of yer violent bastard games to have realistic depiction of overwhelming force and physicality. I don't mean gore or violence, I mean that hitting people hard as fuck should actually drop them properly

The Division was terrible for this, I remember me and 3 others on Legendary difficulty taking down the boss of some level, took around 20 minutes of all 4 of us pumping literally zillions of bullets into him. But to be fair, I don't know how you could make it both realistic and a challenge without resorting to just making them a bullet sponge.

[H-O-W-L]

The Division was terrible for this, I remember me and 3 others on Legendary difficulty taking down the boss of some level, took around 20 minutes of all 4 of us pumping literally zillions of bullets into him. But to be fair, I don't know how you could make it both realistic and a challenge without resorting to just making them a bullet sponge.

For me, Max Payne 3 and RDR2 did it by making getting shot in the head pretty lethal. I mod me own New Vegas so that a solid headshot to anyone without power armor is pretty lethal and it feels very fair evne though I can mash the stimpak key.

MP3 also did a very interesting thing of portraying armor realistically; the armor resisted yer bullits outright, but there were soft spots around their armor and you could also shoot through the plating with enough raw unloading.

[popcorn]

Decent UI design. I don't just mean HUDs with ammo counts etc. I mean actual menu systems for loading saves, tweaking options, upgrading items etc that make any fucking sense at all. It's understandable that it's not a priority because it's not sexy or something you can put in a trailer, but it's so easy to get this kind of thing right and it's maddening how piss-poor it still is most of the time.

For a start, can we UI text at size legible on TVs and not just desk monitors, please. Including subtitles the size of normal actual fucking subtitles.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Tangible arses

[Claude the Racecar Driving Rockstar Super Sleuth]

www.youtube.com/watch?v=GJYLYGlTQtk

[The Crumb]

I want more of yer violent bastard games to have realistic depiction of overwhelming force and physicality. I don't mean gore or violence, I mean that hitting people hard as fuck should actually drop them properly.

Have you played Hotline Miami? That really nails the any hit is lethal style. And electro bangers.

[H-O-W-L]

Have you played Hotline Miami? That really nails the any hit is lethal style. And electro bangers.

Yup. Loved the first for that reason, despised the second.

[The Crumb]

Part 2 nailed the electrp bangers again, but yeah, the gun focus was a bit shit. Due to limited options at the time I ended up playing it through on hard mode, pure masochism.

[H-O-W-L]

I think both the gameplay and the plot are absolute shit and a catastrophic falling from the lofty heights of the original. They could've banged me 10 more levels of the same gameplay for £20 and I'd have lapped it up, but they disappeared up their own arseholes like a Carpet Doctor on max power and seemed to believe that, because people liked the first game, they were cunts, future Elliot Rodgers, mardrers and thieves, and needed taking down a peg. I remember saying out loud to myself: "Fucking hell mate, you only made a video game." -- and I'm in favor of anti-war, anti-violence stuff, for the most part!

And gameplay-wise the levels were just too physically large, too zoomed in, too gun-focused, too glass-filled, too full of enemies that were guns-only-kills, and just too fucking long. Like for the second course they just brought out a chocolate fountain and upended it into your mouth, thinking "aye that'll do you cunt, you want a dessert? here's too much."

[Lemming]

As it happens, I just played Hotline Miami 2 for the first time the other day. Could not even begin to explain what the fuck was going on in the plot. Pizza guy is a mercenary in a jungle now in the 80s, alright then. Ended up skipping all the dialogue after the midway point because I just didn't care anymore, the only thing that stuck out to me plot-wise was that one player character who has non-lethal attacks, which was a nice novelty considering the nature of the rest of the game.

The levels were definitely, by and large, total arse compared to the first game. Fucking windows everywhere, not to mention all the times you get shot by enemies you can't see because they're off-screen, forcing you to replay about twenty times until you learn where everyone is. Felt like half the levels had a prescribed way to win, and the challenge was figuring out the specific chain of moves the devs wanted you to do, rather than playing around with the mechanics to make your own way through the level.

[Aleister Growley]

In the Xbox 360 classic "The Saboteur" you could evade Those Jairmans by popping into a pissoir and having a waz whist saying "That was fecking close" or similar.

There was also a button for having a smoke. No advantage to the game. Just stop and have a fag. Nice.