worst swears

[TrenterPercenter]

I used to enjoy when speaking to someone abruptly saying "have you been using dog shit for toothpaste?"; you need to say it with genuine concern and slight anger (then obviously tell them you are joking and just being A LAD!).

[Midas]

Shit-cunt is a guilty pleasure but I've only ever used it in my mind. Can't think of a swear that uses "cock" that isn't rubbish.

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

Cockface?

[Midas]

Doesn't do anything for me. I'd personally go straight for Cuntface.

[Midas]

I can get some mileage out of dick, it's just cock I can't get on with.

[Vinnie01]

Degenerate Parasitical piece of cunt

[thenoise]

"Bum-features" was my Dad's go-to. Childish but descriptive.

[hamfist]

Shit-cunt is a guilty pleasure but I've only ever used it in my mind. Can't think of a swear that uses "cock" that isn't rubbish.

Morris did (or perhaps didn't) say "Christ's Fat Cock" which I use a lot, sometimes shortened to simply "CFC"

[gilbertharding]

Can't think of a swear that uses "cock" that isn't rubbish.

Cockend? As in, "You cockend," or "that gets right on my cockend."

Not sure if it should be one word, two, or hyphenated though.

[Sebastian Cobb]

come to think of it mark casually saying 'cocknobs' to himself in his mind is way worse than the piss kidney/jizz cock thing.

[GoblinAhFuckScary]

Morris did (or perhaps didn't) say "Christ's Fat Cock" which I use a lot, sometimes shortened to simply "CFC"

morris did blurt out 'COCK NAKED' when speaking to cliff richard about christ and pornography on the R1 show

[SpiderChrist]

Dicksplash

[Hobo With A Shit Pun]

To expand upon this, would c**tflaps be considered misogynist here, I know c**t in general is in the US but not so much in the UK, but maybe adding the 'flaps' makes it more gendered than it's usually taken as being.

It annoys me that I can't use "flapping your cunt lips" from Deadwood in (informal) conversation. In situ, among the cunt eyes and whatnot, it's clearly and venemously referring to the flapping lips of some cunt of a guy, but out of context just sounds like I've a problem with someone's labia.

Re: "Cunter", there's some linguist's theory that the shading in the spectrum of Scottish usage from neutral-even-affectionate to addressing-a-Tory is all to do with the emphasis on the tea. "You cuns are like brothers to me" to "Johnson, you cunT!er"

I don't know hos much T there is in a bananacunt, but I do know he would be against injecting more in healthy young breast owners.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Degenerate Parasitical piece of cunt

Fucking hell Vinnie

[Vinnie01]

Fucking hell Vinnie

Its do with what I been dealing with recently, coming from a leisure centre person.

[dissolute ocelot]

"you are the son of incestuous union"? To be fair, I can't even make motherfucker work.

[flotemysost]

Think we just need to get a bit more creative with the anatomical insults, bored of cocks and fannies.

You fucking Skene's gland

Check out this absolute PERINEUM here!!!


Once I was talking with a former flatmate about our favourite swear words, specifically comparing native ones - she's Spanish, though having lived in London for years has an amazing hybrid accent, almost Cockney but with more rolled "r"s. Anyway we got onto "cunt", a word she was fond of, and we were discussing how blunt and brutal it sounds and she said "I love the feel of cunt in my mouth" (as in, the word) in her wonderful accent and it's a moment I think about a fair bit still.

[chveik]

you massive meatus

[H-O-W-L]

I have once, while drunk, uttered the phrase "You utter splenic flexure of a human being." which I'm quite proud of.

[Mr Banlon]

fuckpig

[rectorofstiffkey]

"Cunt" when some Americans try to say it and it comes out sound like "cant"

Mena Suvari's effort to deliver the word in American Beauty is particularly jarring.  A sort of angry yelp with too many syllables. 

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

Americans can't even say 'twat' properly. I mean, 'twot'? Come on now.

[GoblinAhFuckScary]

you massive meatus

wwf champion michael 'massive' meatus

[Vinnie01]

Workplace saying. Stupid cunts.
BLT = Bone-idle lazy twats or BLC = Bone-idle lazy cunts,

[Pavlov`s Dog`s Dad`s Dead]

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[Sebastian Cobb]

Workplace saying. Stupid cunts.
BLT = Bone-idle lazy twats or BLC = Bone-idle lazy cunts,

Me and a mate (at another workplace) used to have some abbreviations to get past any potential word filters on our email.

WIUP
TAUC

were the two I can remember.

as in "WIUP, I'm surrounded by TAUC's".

[Echo Valley 2-6809]

Not really swearing, and it's American, but 'pantywaist' is weak.

Also 'asshat'.

[JesusAndYourBush]

Also 'asshat'.

It's even worse when someone Britishes up an American insult and says "arse hat" or "arse clown" for example.  The original American versions are poor to begin with, but the arse versions sound even more pathetic.

[QDRPHNC]

To be fair, pantywaist was mostly used in the 50s