Pyromaniac Barber

[Small Man Big Horse]

Well, he set fire to my ear anyhow. Apparently it's a thing with Turkish barbers, where the dip some cotton on a stick in alcohol, set fire to it, and then use it to get rid of ear hair, though I wasn't warned and I've got to say I was unimpressed, with one ear he did it so much that I expressed pain, plus for the next twenty minutes I could smell the putrid stench of dead hair.

Sure, it's a first world problem but I've my suspicions he's new to fire, I've been going to the same barber for the past three years and this is the first time he's done it, and he's also not very good at it as I'm sure you're not meant to be hurt during the process. Either way I'm not happy about it, and really think he should have just asked first, and what's wrong with a good old fashioned quick shave in the earhole anyhow?

[beanheadmcginty]

The earburning bit is by far my favourite thing about my trip to the barber's. That and the free bottle of Efe's.

[Small Man Big Horse]

The earburning bit is by far my favourite thing about my trip to the barber's. That and the free bottle of Efe's.

But doesn't it hurt? Or was my barber just a bit shit? And how come you get a free bottle of Efe's, whatever that is? To be honest I'm starting to think my barber really doesn't like me now if you're getting special treatment, and next time will reduce my tip from 20% to 1.3%

[NoSleep]

I went to a barber in Oldham, while I was staying there for a job, and he did the fire thing and it was completely painless.

[Cuellar]

Is ear wax flammable? Presumably not otherwise people would be going up like roman candles all over the place.

[Glebe]

If it's a choice between the Pyromaniac Barber and the Wanking Barber, I dunno... bit like being between a rock and a hard* place.

*The Wanking Barber being the 'hard' place, natch.

[thenoise]

My old drummer wouldn't wear earplugs at gigs, but would get his ears cleaned out with hopi ear candles (shove a tube in your ear and set fire to it so as the ear wax gets drawn out).

I strongly suspect this to be bollocks, and he's probably deaf by now.

[beanheadmcginty]

Efe's is a Turkish beer.

Those hopi candles are complete bollocks. The "earwax" that they claim to draw out is simply the wax used in the construction of the candle.

[Sebastian Cobb]

Efes is pretty nice.

I like the ear burning thing. One guy offered to do my nostrils once, for that they dip q-tips in hot wax and shove them up your nose, let it set then pull. It's horrid there's a lot of resistance and you can sort of hear the hairs being torn out through bone conduction inside your head.

I went to a barbers ran by a couple once, the woman finished her customer first, started cutting my hair then realised she was too short to get at the top of my head so had to get hubby in to finish the job.

[Inspector Norse]

Not my ear but a while ago a doctor shoved a red-hot metal rod up my nose and burned off a swollen muscle, which was not the most fun I've ever had. I didn't even get a free bottle of Turkish beer afterwards.

[Voltan (Man of Steel)]

Those hopi candles are complete bollocks. The "earwax" that they claim to draw out is simply the wax used in the construction of the candle.

I suspect that's true, but on the other hand I can't remember the last time I heard about excessive ear wax affecting the Hopi people. Anyway, I clean my ears with a dream catcher.

[Small Man Big Horse]

I went to a barber in Oldham, while I was staying there for a job, and he did the fire thing and it was completely painless.

Hmm, I 'm starting to think mine fucked up then, there's no residual pain now but it was tender for a good five minutes. Either way I'm wary about going back and might give one of the other places nearby a shot.

[Chedney Honks]

Great way to get tinnitus burning off the microhairs in your inner ear 😂😂😂

[ImmaculateClump]

Aye, don't all the little wiggly hairs push the wax out?

I mean I'm sure they don't set light to a cotton bud with a bic lighter and jam it in, dripping melted plastic onto your ear drum, but it could have like a domino effect couldn't it? Like when you take a lighter to your socks and it goes wooooooosh, slowly burns all the fluff.

Aw man, that's always fun if you've got the right socks and it works.

[Paul Calf]

If it's a choice between the Pyromaniac Barber and the Wanking Barber, I dunno... bit like being between a rock and a hard* place.

*The Wanking Barber being the 'hard' place, natch.

He could also be the rock though.

[Paul Calf]

Efe's is a Turkish beer.

Those hopi candles are complete bollocks. The "earwax" that they claim to draw out is simply the wax used in the construction of the candle.

They're really dangerous too.

https://www.hab.online/are-hopi-ear-candles-safe/

[Dex Sawash]

Recently recalled how as a youth I would painlessly burn hairs off my arm with a Bic lighter. This reminiscence is what led to a burned scrotum (mine)

[Butchers Blind]

How much they charge for pubes?

[Cold Meat Platter]

How much they charge for pubes?

£4.99 a kilo.

[Sebastian Cobb]

and I've been shovelling mine in post boxes and clothes recycling bins like an idiot!

[Cold Meat Platter]

Get yourself down Pube Converters mate, you're pissing away cash here.

[Glebe]

He could also be the rock though.

Can you smell what the rock is spunking?

[servese43]

They're really dangerous too.

https://www.hab.online/are-hopi-ear-candles-safe/

More evidence that they're a heap of rubbish (from Bad Science):

[mothman]

Woah, oh-oh, oh-oh-oooohhh, me ears are alight.

[flotemysost]

But doesn't it hurt? Or was my barber just a bit shit? And how come you get a free bottle of Efe's, whatever that is? To be honest I'm starting to think my barber really doesn't like me now if you're getting special treatment, and next time will reduce my tip from 20% to 1.3%

Yeah I wouldn't say no to a free Efes. I reckon you're on to a good thing there, keep them sweet and maybe you'll get a shot of Rakı next time. Just have a full on pissup at the barber's.

[pancreas]

Is ear wax flammable? Presumably not otherwise people would be going up like roman candles all over the place.

Is this an attempt at victim-blaming? You're implying it's SMBH's fault for having such waxy ears.

[Sebastian Cobb]

Yeah I wouldn't say no to a free Efes. I reckon you're on to a good thing there, keep them sweet and maybe you'll get a shot of Rakı next time. Just have a full on pissup at the barber's.

I think some of the more trendy male barbershops, the ones that have lots of white tiles and and a 'victorian surgery' aesthetic (also used heavily in vape shops and tattoo artists often within the same street) offer glasses of whisky with the steampunk barber experience.

Best I've had is some Turkish guy offering to make me a traditional coffee, I think it's boiled up to be really thick or something, regretfully I was already full of caffeine and turned it down.

[JarrowMonkey]

The lass at my barbers asked 'How would you like your hair cut?', i replied 'In silence', she never laughed either