Petrol Knobheads 2021

[Uncle TechTip]

The media are the catalyst here but utltimately we're all just selfish cunts.  No one thinks they are part of the problem, when infact we are all the problem.

I went out and filled up even though I didn't need to, to contribute to the problem in the hope that it might bring down this government.

[idunnosomename]

We have a 24hr Asda petrol station near us which isn't manned ever (and is all pay-at-pump, obvs).

me too, I guess they must have someone qualified on call at all times in case someone crashes a lorry into it, but there's no kiosk or anything. it's at the bottom of the car park and I've never seen any staff members there. annoying when you don't get a receipt and you kinda need one but there's fuck all you can do really. but it is the cheapest in town.

[mothman]

Got about 30 mile range left, my car tells me. Getting to work on Monday could be interesting. The two stations I passed today were closed with no fuel. Even the big Tesco - though it looked like every German car driver was pulling in anyway and presumably going "Don't you know who I am?" - that area is full of the worst sort of Tory Boys.

Not worrying yet, I'll see what happens over the next 36 hours.

[Sebastian Cobb]

I knew this was coming, same account as the ruck but caught someone pouring petrol into a (double) plastic bag.
https://twitter.com/TazerBlack/status/1441810467740008451

[mothman]

That's an old video. In the States I think. Fun to watch though.

[Butchers Blind]

I bought some petrol today and I don't even have a car. Just didn't want to miss out on the panic buying.

[Rev+]

Same scenes tonight, but a lot of people are getting out of their cars and chasing each other around in fake fights just to keep it interesting.

There is one upside:  the choked road I'm talking about it the one leading to the Sainsbury's garage near me, but it also feeds into your actual Saino's itself.  Was in the shop tonight and you could have heard a pin drop, it was that quiet.  On a Saturday evening!

[Psybro]

Did a road trip this week and decided to only put in £20 worth on Wednesday and then fill all the way up when I set off on the return leg on Friday.  A bad 48 hours to delay by.

[imitationleather]

Come on, Britain. You've got 130 million legs.. Use them!

[confettiinmyhair]

That is actually very good advice

Yeah, going to get some Cheeselets in.

[Icehaven]

Seems to have dropped out of the headlines overnight, job done or a faint glimmer of realisation of the havoc they've caused? (It's the former of course.)

[mothman]

I have fuel! Well, some. Local Asda was busy but nobody queueing out into the roads or the car parks. They'd instituted a £30 limit - but I assumed that meant they'd rigged the pumps to stop at that, or something. So I got to thirty and it carried on. What to do? Just fill up my tank and fuck everyone else - like everyone else was doubtless doing? In the end I aimed for exactly £40. They could hardly then claim I'd filled up, what were they going to do, tip my car on its side to pour it back out? (*satire)

So, I have fuel for a few days. And this whole thing is still fucking stupid.

[Ray Travez]

I have announced there is a limited supply of my genitals, hopefully this will incite some panic fucking from the ladies in my town.

Your next step is to hire a few ladies to pose for a photo where they are queuing to get hold of the last remaining stocks of your genitals- sends the message that not only are supplies of your genitals running out, they're running out fast.

[mothman]

Maybe have a couple of them start to scrap, really get those social media shares. Or - even better - just one determined lady with a double plastic bag?

[peanutbutter]

Is there already a thread for the mad inflation there's been this past year? I'm gonna switch jobs soon because my pay has abruptly gone from slightly under market rates to absolutely laughable. Fortunately my industry has had to bump up the salaries but there must be absolutely huge increases in the number of people making below the living wage too?

[JarrowMonkey]

The most striking thing about that story was the supposed cost of the cleanup. £130,000! (Which was a lot of money for those days) Fuck me who were they using? Red Adair?

They didnt even have the decency to cremate him when he carked it, buried him like a normal person

[idunnosomename]

sir please a shoe is a not a suitable container for fuel

[shiftwork2]

This doesn't appear to be improving so I queued up for 20 mins and did it.  Orderly and calm. A van did drive past and a head popped out to shout CUNTS!!! which you don't often hear in the wild and thoroughly enlivened the wait.  These aren't the panic buyers though on Day 4 - personally I wanted to know I am going to get home this evening.

[idunnosomename]

15 minutes into lunchtime news on Radio 4 and they're still banging on about this

[Dr Trouser]

I need to get some petrol for the lawnmower and the chainsaw- how do I fill up my Jerry can without everyone assuming I'm a panic buying hoarder pollock?

[H-O-W-L]

We have a 24hr Asda petrol station near us which isn't manned ever (and is all pay-at-pump, obvs).

Probably someone in the back still, it's a fire safety thing. Someone has to be there for accountability and safety's sake. I had a small course (which I've forgotten) which I did when working at Tesco to be able to "oversee the pumps properly"-- which was why I was down there overnight. Though in reality all I did was sit there and watch Breaking Bad and, at one point, saw some kids dance hand-in-hand between the pumps. Very funny though.

[Jasha]

I need to get some petrol for the lawnmower and the chainsaw- how do I fill up my Jerry can without everyone assuming I'm a panic buying hoarder pollock?

Fill the chainsaw straight from the pump, no one's gonna argue with you

[Uncle TechTip]

Fire safety at a petrol station is entirely the responsibility of the customers which is why they put the isolation switch on the outside.

[H-O-W-L]

Fire safety at a petrol station is entirely the responsibility of the customers which is why they put the isolation switch on the outside.

It's still a requirement for accountability and liability in case of a fire or other accident for a member of staff to be present -- or at least it was at Tesco when I worked there. Similarly there was required to be one manager at the Tesco site itself that the petrol station was attached to at all times, even on Christmas Day, for liability reasons.

[Jasha]

The Texaco near me had the pumps locked out and coned off but still optimistically had the carwash and shop open in case you needed a 3 led stick anywhere lamp

[Sebastian Cobb]

The tesco garage/express round the corner from me was out of unleaded on saturday/sunday awaiting delivery. They'd tied bags for life round the handles of the pumps.

I only needed yoghurt though.

[imitationleather]

The tesco garage/express round the corner from me was out of unleaded on saturday/sunday awaiting delivery. They'd tied bags for life round the handles of the pumps.

I only needed yoghurt though.

Where'd you find a car that runs on yoghurt, fellah?

[Janie Jones]

Everyone drives round here, there's no reliable public transport (apart from trains to London) and people are ridiculously dependent on their cars, 3 and 4 car families are not uncommon now that young adults are living at home longer. Tonight, the open mic night at the art centre where I volunteer is cancelled as the organisers and several performers have no petrol to get there, and my husband's 5-a-side footy can't go ahead for the same reason. I'd like to suggest that people should be using bikes for 5 mile journeys but it's raining and it's dark early, that puts lots of people off cycling. And of course if you've equipment to lug, it's not feasible.

[Pseudopath]

Where'd you find a car that runs on yoghurt, fellah?

Must drive a Vauxhall Activia.

[pancreas]

🎶 Mmmm, Citroen.