Holding Probably Unfair Grudges

[robhug]

I once saw Mick Ferry propping up the bar at the caves circa 2014 fringe.

I thought it prudent to say "hey, what part of Yorkshire is that accent from?"

His reply, bare in mind the irony was actually lost on him was "I'm not from from Yorkshire, I'm from Lancashire you fucking prick"

I swear to christ my missus had to stop me following out for a tab and giving him a slap. Shite act, shite personality, and smelled faintly of piss.

if you'd have cleaned yourself up a bit he might have been nicer to you

[DrGreggles]

Accusing a Lancastrian of being from Yorkshire is essentially racism.

#BigleyCancelled

[Icehaven]

I had a serious incident with a mad, violent co-tenant in a houseshare a few years ago, and unfortunately he bore a striking resemblance to Ardal O'Hanlon and was also Irish, so it's kind of spoilt Father Ted for me as obviously I can't watch it without being reminded of him. The only glimmer of hope I have of getting past it is repeatedly telling myself that maybe part of the reason for his unmitigating cuntishness was that he'd spent his entire adult life having people go "HAHAHA YOU LOOK LIKE DOUGAL AND OH MY GOD YOU'RE EVEN IRISH TOO HAHAHA SAY OHRIGHTYEAHTED GO ON SAY IT" everywhere he went and has and will always have a thoroughly miserable life because of it, so I stop seeing O'Hanlon as a simple reminder of the cunt, and more as good old Dougal who hopefully helped ruin his life.

[turnstyle]

Back at the turn of the millennium, someone I had the serious hots for in my friend group when to see [FAMOUS COMIC OFF THE TELLY], and had a such a great time that she ended up in the backstage area, where [FAMOUS COMIC OFF THE TELLY] ended up getting into her backstage area.

Previously I was indifferent to the work of [FAMOUS COMIC OFF THE TELLY], but after that incident I found him about as funny as a turd flavoured Angel Delight, and even now, twenty years on, when I see him on anything I just imagine him plowing into my friend, her no doubt somewhere between stirring orgasm and hysterical laughter as he thrusts and quips at the same time.

Bastard.

Still, happy endings and all that, he never returned her calls afterwards, and she went on to marry a welder.

[Fr.Bigley]

She shagged Richard Gere? I only knew him for his anus gerbil work. Good lord that's interesting!

[easytarget]

I thought it prudent to say "hey, what part of Yorkshire is that accent from?"

His reply, bare in mind the irony was actually lost on him was "I'm not from from Yorkshire, I'm from Lancashire you fucking prick"

I think I've got a sharp ear for accents, my two parents are from Yorkshire and Lancashire respectively.

Here's what no one will admit: There is no difference between a Yorkshire accent and a Lancashire accent. Yes, fine someone from Leeds doesn't sound like someone from Burnely, someone from Preston doesn't sound like someone from Halifax - but outside the cities and the large towns - all the fucking same.

[AsparagusTrevor]

I think I've got a sharp ear for accents, my two parents are from Yorkshire and Lancashire respectively.

Here's what no one will admit: There is no difference between a Yorkshire accent and a Lancashire accent. Yes, fine someone from Leeds doesn't sound like someone from Burnely, someone from Preston doesn't sound like someone from Halifax - but outside the cities and the large towns - all the fucking same.

I think I've got a sharp ear for accents.

And now a paragraph which spectacularly proves otherwise...

[Fr.Bigley]

I think I've got a sharp ear for accents, my two parents are from Yorkshire and Lancashire respectively.

Here's what no one will admit: There is no difference between a Yorkshire accent and a Lancashire accent. Yes, fine someone from Leeds doesn't sound like someone from Burnely, someone from Preston doesn't sound like someone from Halifax - but outside the cities and the large towns - all the fucking same.

Thing is, I did it intentionally as a quip as he's the biggest chip on his shoulder about being from that end, I thought he'd get it was a crack but he didn't. Plus, being from Leeds I just felt like winding him up as I hated his act.

[Shaky]

Back at the turn of the millennium, someone I had the serious hots for in my friend group when to see [FAMOUS COMIC OFF THE TELLY], and had a such a great time that she ended up in the backstage area, where [FAMOUS COMIC OFF THE TELLY] ended up getting into her backstage area.

Previously I was indifferent to the work of [FAMOUS COMIC OFF THE TELLY], but after that incident I found him about as funny as a turd flavoured Angel Delight, and even now, twenty years on, when I see him on anything I just imagine him plowing into my friend, her no doubt somewhere between stirring orgasm and hysterical laughter as he thrusts and quips at the same time.

Bastard.

Still, happy endings and all that, he never returned her calls afterwards, and she went on to marry a welder.

Come on now, give us a clue!

[Fr.Bigley]

Come on now, give us a clue!

I RECKON IT WAS LENNY HENRY

[Tony Yeboah]

I RECKON IT WAS LENNY HENRY

I guess Skinner.

[Shaky]

Michael McIntyre or Peter Kay.

[bigfatheart]

My money's on Tim Vine.

[Sebastian Cobb]

Ken Dodd, I reckon.

You definitely don't want to go near the business end of the tickling stick.

[jobotic]

Noel Fielding

or Ken Dodd

The martian's friends are cumming

[zomgmouse]

I think I've got a sharp ear for accents, my two parents are from Yorkshire and Lancashire respectively.

Here's what no one will admit: There is no difference between a Yorkshire accent and a Lancashire accent. Yes, fine someone from Leeds doesn't sound like someone from Burnely, someone from Preston doesn't sound like someone from Halifax - but outside the cities and the large towns - all the fucking same.

I'm from the other side of the world and I can tell that there's a difference between Yorkshire and Lancashire accents. I think you are incorrect

[Mr Banlon]

If they sound like Sean Bean they're from Yorkshire (bar that bit in the far north where they start sounding a bit Geordie)
If they sound like Fred Dibner, they're from Lancashire (apart from Mancs and Scousers who are are technically Lancastrians)

[ProvanFan]

Come on now, give us a clue!

Lionel Blair?

[trabuch]

Lionel Blair?

No chance. He'd have been too busy trying to pull off twelve angry men in under 2 minutes.

[easytarget]

I'm from the other side of the world and I can tell that there's a difference between Yorkshire and Lancashire accents. I think you are incorrect

Nah, I think you're cheating by forcing them to name a bread roll: barm cake = Lancashire, bap/anything other than barm cake = Yorkshire. That's basically the same as demanding to know which county they're from.

[easytarget]

If they sound like Sean Bean they're from Yorkshire (bar that bit in the far north where they start sounding a bit Geordie)
If they sound like Fred Dibner, they're from Lancashire (apart from Mancs and Scousers who are are technically Lancastrians)

If it's tangy and brown they're from a Lancashire town
If it's clear and yella they're a Yorkshire fella.

(Scousers and Mancs are from Merseyside and Greater Manchester respectively if they were born after 1974)

[trabuch]

Is Liverpool in Lancashire? Because they are even more distinctive than the Oasis brothers. 

Anyway. Back on topic. I was at a small show in Lewes where a Russel wannabe picked on me (despite being a fair way away from the front) for being a bit bald. It was not funny. If I could remember who it was, I would hold a grudge - unfairly - probably.

[Jerzy Bondov]

If it's tangy and brown they're from a Lancashire town
If it's clear and yella they're a Yorkshire fella.

is this about spunk

[Gurke and Hare]

If they sound like Sean Bean they're from Yorkshire (bar that bit in the far north where they start sounding a bit Geordie)

Also East Yorkshire is distinctly different - that pronunciation of "Oh no" as "Er Ner". And there are some Yorkies (although it doesn't seem to be regionally based) who have a distinct hard rolling r.

[Fr.Bigley]

Also East Yorkshire is distinctly different - that pronunciation of "Oh no" as "Er Ner". And there are some Yorkies (although it doesn't seem to be regionally based) who have a distinct hard rolling r.

Barrrrnsleh

[Ray Travez]

Arrived at a small local gig about five minutes in, and there were no places to sit except at the front. I didn't want to sit at the front, but... as I'm sitting down the compere asks me my name. I'd missed it, but apparently he'd done some routine about how his name was 'shit'; his name was Roland. he says, "[my name] now that's a really shit name! I thought mine was shit, but that's just fucking awful." And then riffs on this, in an equally joke-free way. I sometimes fantasise that I got onstage and knocked the cunt out, like someone famously did to Sadowitz. Anyway the guy's name is Roland Gent- you can't miss him; he's a hack comedian with a baked-potato face and generic patter who is probably as we speak mopping the floor at the all-night garage.

And here he is the wacky japester-

[Tony Yeboah]

I saw Roland Gent do his 'Rock 'n' Roll Radio' show in the staffroom at The Three Sisters at the 2014 Edinburgh Festival. The room was so bad I don't think they use it any more, which is saying something for a Fringe venue. The show was a passable hour but we then kept bumping into him around the city for the rest of the week. He seemed like a nice bloke.

[wrec]

I was in the queue for security at Amsterdam Schiphol airport about four years ago. An English guy directly behind me informed his female companion that he was thinking of calling his next Fringe show "Snowflake Generation". She obviously wasn't familiar with the term and said that people would think it had something to do with Christmas. The guy was flabbergasted and said yes, they might, if they were a FUCKING MORON. After establishing with great incredulity that she wasn't familiar with the term, he explained that 'snowflake' described SJWs, who were constantly triggered and complained about everything. He mentioned the name of his previous Fringe show, and being irked by his obnoxiousness I googled it on my phone right there and immediately found his name, which unfortunately I've since forgotten, along with the name of his previous show. He did seem to be an unknown, entry level comic (I didn't realise at the time that just about anyone could stage a Fringe show) and subsequent searches for his wintry opus have proved fruitless. In general he was really nasty and domineering to this apparently mild-mannered woman and I didn't get the sense he was an exciting and original new voice in comedy, though it was funny hearing the most cliched PC-gone-mad tropes delivered with tremendous smugness. I mean, this guy was a real jerk.

[Ray Travez]

I saw Roland Gent do his 'Rock 'n' Roll Radio' Show [...] He seemed like a nice bloke.

WELL HES NOT

[thecuriousorange]

Back at the turn of the millennium, someone I had the serious hots for in my friend group when to see [FAMOUS COMIC OFF THE TELLY], and had a such a great time that she ended up in the backstage area, where [FAMOUS COMIC OFF THE TELLY] ended up getting into her backstage area.

Previously I was indifferent to the work of [FAMOUS COMIC OFF THE TELLY], but after that incident I found him about as funny as a turd flavoured Angel Delight, and even now, twenty years on, when I see him on anything I just imagine him plowing into my friend, her no doubt somewhere between stirring orgasm and hysterical laughter as he thrusts and quips at the same time.

Bastard.

Still, happy endings and all that, he never returned her calls afterwards, and she went on to marry a welder.

That must have really hurt you. But at least Rory McGrath is hardly ever on TV anymore, so you don't have to see him.