Author Topic: Holding Probably Unfair Grudges  (Read 12353 times)

Re: Holding Probably Unfair Grudges
« Reply #60 on: September 26, 2021, 06:24:01 PM »
Remembered that I’ve hated Alex Ferguson since he stormed right past me and a few other youngsters without stopping to sign anything. He’d been handing out awards at Girl’s Brigade that my sister involved in.  Purple-faced son of a bitch can rot in hell forever.

amateur

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Re: Holding Probably Unfair Grudges
« Reply #61 on: September 26, 2021, 06:35:32 PM »
I had to leave a John Bishop show early, otherwise I'd miss the last train home. This was at about half eleven at night.

He obviously mugged me off - I wasn't the first to leave - but as I had pretty much got out of there I've no idea how brutal it was.

Maybe he still holds a grudge against me.

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Re: Holding Probably Unfair Grudges
« Reply #62 on: September 26, 2021, 06:42:32 PM »
'Oooh, you look a bit intimidating. Like a big gorilla. Can you try and sit back and relax a bit? You're putting me off,' was the first call-out from Amstell, which ruined the show for me there and then, as I sat stressing for the next hour or so (which felt like days) that he'd return to me at some point, which he did, two or three times. Fucking nightmare.

It's bizarre and disgusting how little respect some comedians have for the people who go to see them. I know they get a lot of shit from hecklers but when you consider how much people have paid, how worn down the average person was even before covid and how the comedian doesn't know how much other shit the person could be dealing with, it's pretty foul to be so obnoxious to people who have given up a couple of hours to listen to someone.

Perhaps they should provide potties beneath the seats if they find people going to urinate or shit so remarkable.

Audience participation in general can fuck off. I've never been at a gig where I've enjoyed the audience participation parts. I don't give a fuck where Clive came from to get to the gig or what Shirley does as a job. I don't care if the rest of the theatre is a load of paedophile accountants from Durham, get on with your act.

Re: Holding Probably Unfair Grudges
« Reply #63 on: September 26, 2021, 07:06:03 PM »
I became the punchbag for stand-up and drama tutor Huw Thomas when, in contrast to his students in the room hospitalising themselves with laughter, he somehow managed to pick up that I didn't think that leading everyone in a nursery rhyme sing-along was the funniest thing to ever happen. Felt slightly vindicated when he later expressed annoyance that no one at Time Out had ever said anything positive about him.

Re: Russell Kane. I was always intensely annoyed by aspects of himself, including:
  • Taking five years off his real age
  • Using a 'Mr La-De-Da Gunner Graham' voice any time he says any words that might be considered intellectual eg: 'Proust' 'Radio 4'
  • Himself
However, I completely changed my opinion after hearing his episode of Emily Dean's Walking The Dog. He grew up in a house with no books, studied relentlessly hard at university and got a first, and came across with self-awareness and humility. I was hugely irritated at how pleasant he was.
« Last Edit: September 26, 2021, 07:23:49 PM by Thosworth »

Re: Holding Probably Unfair Grudges
« Reply #64 on: September 26, 2021, 09:14:38 PM »
Saw Stewart Lee when he was doing his Baconface character - he came on told one joke then began complaining that we were a terrible audience and he didn't think we were going to get on board. i think we all thought he was just doing his usual audience-baiting schtick but apparently not as he walked off less than 5 mins into the show. The weirdest thing was that people were enjoying it... it was absolutely not the case that we were sitting there stony faced. But even if that was the case he didn't even try to make the gig work. It was just such an odd reaction. The tech guy then had to come out and apologise, pointing us to the box office for a refund (i spoke to him a bit and he thought it was a money thing and the baconface shows, even though they were sold out, brought in far less than his 'official Stewart Lee show' - no idea if this was the case).

To be clear, I really don't believe that a performer owes an audience anything beyond what's advertised, even cancelling would have been fine since we were refunded. It was immediately blaming the audience that seemed so shitty to me.

I've enjoyed his stand up since then and loved the film he made about the Nightingales, and it doesn't seem like he's done this since, but it did sour me on him a bit.

I've only just realised that Baconface was Stewart Lee (only heard him in audio form on an old Herring podcast).

Re: Holding Probably Unfair Grudges
« Reply #65 on: September 26, 2021, 09:17:31 PM »
Audience participation in general can fuck off.

Absolutely! Unless it's a heckler they can fuck the fuck off and leave people alone. It falls into the category of bullying more often than not.

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Re: Holding Probably Unfair Grudges
« Reply #66 on: September 26, 2021, 10:03:31 PM »
This just makes me glad I'm such a fucking useless cunt I've never seen a standup. With my anger issues and anxiety I'd never be able to avoid hurtling invectives at these cunts even as they dragged me out. Fuck the bollocks of "ooh you expect it if you go to see a standup" -- I'm paying for the cunt's dinner and electricity, not to be called a toilet wanker. It's not fucking school. Anyone who does this shit should be fucking persona non grata.

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Re: Holding Probably Unfair Grudges
« Reply #67 on: September 26, 2021, 10:04:59 PM »
I always assumed Baconface was a rather arty act where Lee stood silently on stage (with a face piled high with pigmeat) and that was it. Could never see the appeal.

UNTIL NOW!

Re: Holding Probably Unfair Grudges
« Reply #68 on: September 26, 2021, 10:10:20 PM »
B-face also did a pretty great radio show for Resonance FM a couple years back: https://www.baconfacecanada.com/global-globules/

Re: Holding Probably Unfair Grudges
« Reply #69 on: September 26, 2021, 10:15:13 PM »
This just makes me glad I'm such a fucking useless cunt I've never seen a standup. With my anger issues and anxiety I'd never be able to avoid hurtling invectives at these cunts even as they dragged me out. Fuck the bollocks of "ooh you expect it if you go to see a standup" -- I'm paying for the cunt's dinner and electricity, not to be called a toilet wanker. It's not fucking school. Anyone who does this shit should be fucking persona non grata.

I like you.

H-O-W-L

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Re: Holding Probably Unfair Grudges
« Reply #70 on: September 26, 2021, 10:30:15 PM »
I like you.

Dunno if this is sarcasm or not; I am quite pissed (in the drunk sense, for the septics) right now.

Re: Holding Probably Unfair Grudges
« Reply #71 on: September 26, 2021, 10:32:10 PM »
Just don't tell him how much you love Pavement and you'll be fine.

H-O-W-L

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Re: Holding Probably Unfair Grudges
« Reply #72 on: September 26, 2021, 10:40:06 PM »
I like standup, don't get me wrong -- especially intimate standup -- but the idea of picking out randoms from the group to heckle them is just frankly bullying. I don't care what wanky bullshit you can construe to say "ooh it's part of the art"; they are strangers. You have no right or subtle social connection that allows you to insult them. It's worse than heckling an act you've come to see, IMO, because they voluntarily put themselves on stage for money-- you are paying to see them, not to be called Meat Loaf.

Re: Holding Probably Unfair Grudges
« Reply #73 on: September 26, 2021, 10:47:13 PM »
I like standup, don't get me wrong -- especially intimate standup -- but the idea of picking out randoms from the group to heckle them is just frankly bullying. I don't care what wanky bullshit you can construe to say "ooh it's part of the art"; they are strangers. You have no right or subtle social connection that allows you to insult them. It's worse than heckling an act you've come to see, IMO, because they voluntarily put themselves on stage for money-- you are paying to see them, not to be called Meat Loaf.

yeah i agree. i genuinely believe that stand-up is the closest most people will ever get to being held hostage - which is part of what makes it so electrifying but also why the person onstage need not be any more a prick than necessary

Re: Holding Probably Unfair Grudges
« Reply #74 on: September 26, 2021, 11:04:18 PM »
Audience participation in general can fuck off. I've never been at a gig where I've enjoyed the audience participation parts. I don't give a fuck where Clive came from to get to the gig or what Shirley does as a job. I don't care if the rest of the theatre is a load of paedophile accountants from Durham, get on with your act.

Some of the best shows I’ve ever seen have been built around audience participation. Dr Brown, Tim Key, Nick Helm. Countless more. Mostly men, sometimes women. And if you’re at a club, it’s literally the MC’s job to chat to people in the audience.

Obviously it can be hacky as hell in the wrong hands, but the idea that audience participation = bad is incredibly reductive.

I do have sympathy with people with anxiety whose night would be ruined if an act spoke to them (sutin’s posts in a Daniel Kitson thread made me think a little bit differently about that), but I don’t know what the answer is beyond more relaxed performances (there’s a good explainer about those here: https://www.touretteshero.com/2016/03/16/relaxed-performances-the-faqs/).

Gurke and Hare

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Re: Holding Probably Unfair Grudges
« Reply #75 on: September 27, 2021, 12:03:51 AM »
"[you look a bit like] Meat Loaf" is hardly "you massive cunt" is it?

Re: Holding Probably Unfair Grudges
« Reply #76 on: September 27, 2021, 12:08:05 AM »
I dislike the three Russells: Kane, Howard and Brand.  They bring it on themselves, really.  It qualifies as a grudge because I've barely even seen Howard, he was just too unbearable.

really went off him when I found out what he does with his socks

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Re: Holding Probably Unfair Grudges
« Reply #77 on: September 27, 2021, 12:16:47 AM »
"[you look a bit like] Meat Loaf" is hardly "you massive cunt" is it?

No, just massively unoriginal, the type of thing you'd expect from an idiot down the pub, not a professional on stage at any point within the last 20 years or so. It's just such a tired, boring, easy, over-used and well-past-it's-sell-by-date joke, you may as well call someone with no hair 'Kojak'.

Re: Holding Probably Unfair Grudges
« Reply #78 on: September 27, 2021, 12:21:58 AM »
Dunno if this is sarcasm or not; I am quite pissed (in the drunk sense, for the septics) right now.

It was just a way of saying that I agree with you and like your post.

zomgmouse

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Re: Holding Probably Unfair Grudges
« Reply #79 on: September 27, 2021, 12:39:30 AM »
Went to a new local night, none of the acts were identified in advance but it was in a venue that we knew so gave it a chance.
Turns out the promoter hadn't booked anyone but himself and he did 90 fucking minutes to a handful of his mates and the four of us. Sat there with gritted teeth rather than open ourselves up to being called Meatloaf. He finally got off the stage, we left the room in silence.
Went for a piss on the way out, he came in stood next to me and started again. Longest night ever.

Sounds suspiciously like you didn't understand Vic Reeves' Big Night Out

zomgmouse

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Re: Holding Probably Unfair Grudges
« Reply #80 on: September 27, 2021, 12:41:02 AM »
Another live comedy altercation - Geordie comic Gavin Webster imitating my nervous twitch for all to see. He then, during a podcast, went on to have a canny laugh about an Australian female stand-up who was raped.

Edit: The second part perhaps not an unfair grudge.

This is fucked up. Do you know what podcast this was?

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Re: Holding Probably Unfair Grudges
« Reply #81 on: September 27, 2021, 05:19:40 AM »
That reminds me of a mixed bill gig I went to when I'd broken my leg back in 2007, where I was in a wheelchair and a full leg cast. Problem was that due to the nature of the venue I had to be in the front row, and as soon as they saw me I could see the eyes light up of every single comedian who came on to the stage, and because they'd either arrived late or just hadn't been listening to the other comedians they asked me what had happened and a hundred (well, at least five) other questions. Now I'm something of an attention whore and the first couple of times didn't mind at all, but by the end of the night I just wanted to see some prepared material and not another selection of hack jokes that had already been made by all the other comics.

Blimey! I simply can't imagine anything like that happening either at a comedy show or in real life. And even if it did it would be the person concerned's own fault for daring to look different in public.

Jerry Sadowitz didn't say a thing to me when I sidled in late to his Hillsborough night Sheffield gig. Which was a bit of a let-down.

Having said that, at the last comedy show I was at host Anthony J Brown made a comment about a woman in the audience who was celebrating her birthday. It wasn't anything derogatory but when he went to speak to her later on in the show she had left. Obviously didn't like the focus being on her at all.

And a mate of mine who works in advertising left a show half way through when the acts found out what he did and that he was the boss (he'd booked the night out as a way of bonding with his staff) and kept referring to it. This is a bloke who has given speeches in front of thousands of people yet he couldn't handle that. Just goes to show. Something or other.

(Incidentally, if you're wondering why I'm awake at this time, it's because I had a dream that I'd been called in to headline at a major comedy show. The fact I don't have any material, have never done stand-up (because I can't! Boom boom!) and am not funny didn't seem to perturb me. But sadly I woke up just before I got on stage. I could have been a revelation.)

Re: Holding Probably Unfair Grudges
« Reply #82 on: September 27, 2021, 07:26:20 AM »
I’m laughing a lot at the idea that calling a man with long hair Meatloaf is somehow an example of the very worst of live comedy.

This is fucked up. Do you know what podcast this was?

There’s an article and some clips here: https://www.chortle.co.uk/news/2018/06/25/40329/comics_joke_about_their_colleagues_being_raped. I don’t like Chortle but fair play to Steve Bennett for posting Dave Longley’s response, which is very critical of Chortle, in full.

Edit - it’s probably worth me clarifying that I think it’s absolutely vile stuff from Longley and Webster.
« Last Edit: September 27, 2021, 08:43:41 AM by Wayman C. McCreery »

zomgmouse

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Re: Holding Probably Unfair Grudges
« Reply #83 on: September 27, 2021, 07:36:21 AM »

There’s an article and some clips here: https://www.chortle.co.uk/news/2018/06/25/40329/comics_joke_about_their_colleagues_being_raped

Oh yuck. Vile shit. Yuck yuck yuck. Even with the response in defense of the jokes, unjustifiable.

Lisa Jesusandmarychain

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Re: Holding Probably Unfair Grudges
« Reply #84 on: September 27, 2021, 08:03:42 AM »
Defending his right to joke about a woman who had recently been raped and killed? Nice chap.

Re: Holding Probably Unfair Grudges
« Reply #85 on: September 27, 2021, 10:59:28 AM »
Oh yuck. Vile shit. Yuck yuck yuck. Even with the response in defense of the jokes, unjustifiable.

It's absolutely sickening, cuntish behaviour of the worst kind, I listened to the following podcast to see if they'd apologise or try and justify their actions, but all they did was try and get the person who'd complained to call in so they could talk it over with him, and the show as a whole was awful once again. I've heard Webster being described as "A comedian's comedian" but I've no idea why as he just seems like a lazy hack shit to me, even if you ignore the horrendous behaviour we're talking about, I mean christ, look at this shit: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ukQXdiGMOrg

Shaky

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Re: Holding Probably Unfair Grudges
« Reply #86 on: September 27, 2021, 11:34:18 AM »
Jesus, Longley sounds like a complete cunt. "It's a character... I'm an ace guy... it's actually all someone else's fault." His comments are so ludicrous, contradictory and convoluted they actually made me laugh in places.

Quote
I could mention all the times I protected comedians from physical assault. Perhaps the time I stood in front of 12 plumbers while a comedian left by a different exit.

Re: Holding Probably Unfair Grudges
« Reply #87 on: September 27, 2021, 11:46:13 AM »
Longley’s Twitter feed is an unpleasant read. Lots of anti-vaccine comments alongside tweets blaming fat people for long NHS waiting lists. All with zero retweets and likes.

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Re: Holding Probably Unfair Grudges
« Reply #88 on: September 27, 2021, 11:52:02 AM »
Someone should bring up the ear biting incident on QI, then Alan can do a mime about it.

AIRC - there is a bit an episode of Q.I. where ear biting gets mentioned, then there is a brief shot of Alan Davies looking uncomfortable before the subject quickly changes. I can't be arsed to try and find it though, it's like a 10 second sequence at most.

Re: Holding Probably Unfair Grudges
« Reply #89 on: September 27, 2021, 02:13:07 PM »
David Baddiel, almost entirely for that thing on TMWE when he kept having a go at some odd kid that had been in his class at school and was a bit weird (looking back on it, probably had some autistic traits) and kept mentioning him by name. Then when he appeared on the Richard Herring podcast, he mentioned that the kid's sister had contacted him and was pretty upset about the whole thing, as was the then-kid himself. Except Baddiel seemed to consider both of them had acted in quite an embarrassing way, and if anything, he was the victim.

Obviously, he's done worse things since, but I've always had an intense distaste for him based on that specific bit of shit-housery.

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