How suave are you?

[Blue Jam]

I'm suave as fuck I reckon. I own cufflinks.

On second thoughts, has any suave person ever hailed from Wrexham? Nah, I'm not suave at all am I? I'm probably the very opposite of suave.

What is the very opposite of suave? Has any suave person ever hailed from Wrexham? How suave are you?

[dr beat]

Well I get out of the bath to have a piss.

[Sebastian Cobb]

I own one suit but it's that sort of dark grey that's suitable for both weddings and putting people in the ground.

[Blue Jam]

This represents a a suave FAIL, Chedders. You are precisely as suave as Sheffield Wednesday. Who don't even have the support of Sharpe to suave them up a bit.

[Butchers Blind]

I wear a smoking jacket. 

[Blue Jam]

Serious post: I actually do own a smoking jacket. It was my dad's. I only found it when I was clearing out my parents' house 12 years after he'd died. Was a bit sad to learn he'd been that suave and I'd had absolutely no idea.

[Shit Good Nose]

I always - ALWAYS - wear a three piece suit to job interviews, weddings and funerals - a suit without a waistcoat is pretty lame in my opinion, which I reckon makes me pretty damn suave.  But the rest of the time I typically dress like a bum, so maybe that completely offsets the occasional suaveness.  Which means it all comes down to my personality.  Fuck.

[Blue Jam]

Not everyone can rock a three-piece suit, so fair play. They add bulk, so you have to either be very slim, or the kind of person who doesn't give a fuck, like Henry VIII. Yeah, that's pretty suave I reckon.

What about double-breasted suits? As much as I hate to admit it I think the person best at wearing them is probably Prince Charles.

I think you may be exuding regal levels of suaveness here, SGN.

[shiftwork2]

I swim in and out of suave but at the moment:

Pairs of jeans (1), ripped knee and not through fashion - through gyppo
T-shirts (1)
Pairs of shoes (2)
Work shirts (3), I work 5 days a week
Work jumpers (1) so I don't have to iron work shirts (see above)
Work trousers (1), going around the bollocks, pockets went months ago

So as you can see my Bond is currently at 'quite high'

[Blue Jam]

So as you can see my Bond is currently at 'quite high'

Suavest Bond is deffo Roger Moore isn't it? I will fight anyone who says otherwise. In a suave way, with a thrown-down gauntlet and a pair of antique duelling pistols at dawn.

[Sebastian Cobb]

I ruined my really nice 'suit shirt' because like with most shirts I just undo the first couple of buttons and take it in on and off like a sweater, anyway my head got caught in the collar and ripped spectacularly.

My last pair of jeans got relegated to the 'mucky work' pile when they got a hole in them, the change I keep in my arse pocket wore right through and pound coins kept falling out. I think that means technically I'm a baller. Often the first thing to go on levi's is the fly but the seamstress down the road will sew a new one in for fuck all.

[Blue Jam]

Incidentally I am currently wearing a rather suave crisp white shirt. Unfortunately it is in turn wearing a single drop of Nando's sauce, and Nando's can suck the suave clean out of anything.

[Shit Good Nose]

Not everyone can rock a three-piece suit, so fair play. They add bulk, so you have to either be very slim, or the kind of person who doesn't give a fuck, like Henry VIII. Yeah, that's pretty suave I reckon.

What about double-breasted suits? As much as I hate to admit it I think the person best at wearing them is probably Prince Charles.

I think you may be exuding regal levels of suaveness here, SGN.

I personally prefer a single breasted.  I find with a waistcoat a double breaster looks a bit too busy.

But if I'm secretly a member of the royal family, then they're taking their sweet ass fucking time helping us out of our current financial situation.  I expect I'm related to Harry, which means I'm a closet nazi AND the rest of the royals hate me.  Typical.

[Shit Good Nose]

Suavest Bond is deffo Roger Moore isn't it? I will fight anyone who says otherwise. In a suave way, with a thrown-down gauntlet and a pair of antique duelling pistols at dawn.

As it's Rog, there needs to be a dagger involved.

[Sebastian Cobb]

Incidentally I am currently wearing a rather suave crisp white shirt. Unfortunately it is in turn wearing a single drop of Nando's sauce, and Nando's can suck the suave clean out of anything.

the telltale yellow of turmeric is my usual one

[Chedney Honks]

Currently wearing these sipping on a tinnie watching kung fu

[Blue Jam]

the telltale yellow of turmeric is my usual one

Stains yer fingernails. Then again, so do cigars.

There's probably a Viz Top Tip in this.

[shiftwork2]

Suavest Bond is deffo Roger Moore isn't it? I will fight anyone who says otherwise. In a suave way, with a thrown-down gauntlet and a pair of antique duelling pistols at dawn.

Let's have a shufty



Definitely up there if a little lapelly.

[Blue Jam]

Meh, it was the 70's. Buckaroo!

[shiftwork2]

He carries it off.

[Sebastian Cobb]

Let's have a shufty



Definitely up there if a little lapelly.

I know that isn't quite the same thing, but I've been eyeing up chore jackets recently. There's a fair few nice ones going about, might just play it safe and go for a Carharrt.

[holdover]

What about drinking cheap shit wine Suave? Can't get suaver than that

[Sebastian Cobb]

A while back one of the old boys who used to come in my local died, he still wore a blazer and trousers to the pub, which he popped into near last orders every night (I think unusually for a pensioner, he got up late and stayed up for the late-night films after the pub). Looking at people getting to his age, I think they're probably the last generation who are going to do that. There's a pensioner who lives in my parents cul-de-sac who still wears a tie every day, he tucks it into his shirt when he's mowing the lawn.

Just remembered when I was in school the art teacher told us we needed to get an old shirt off our parents so we didn't get paint on our uniforms. I said that to my dad and he found an old white shirt from the 70's with huge collars. It looked like I'd nicked it off Harry Hill.

[shiftwork2]

There's still definitely a culture of the old guard dressing up to go to hospital although these are the very last years now.  Our old chemo day unit was stuffed with old folks who'd got up early to put their Sunday best on, and it made it harder for the nurses to assess how they were coping day to day with their treatment.  A blazer and tie demeanour that had taken absolutely ages to do could semi-craftily give the impression of someone able to continue when in fact the best thing might be for them to pause or stop.

[Sebastian Cobb]

There's still definitely a culture of the old guard dressing up to go to hospital although these are the very last years now.  Our old chemo day unit was stuffed with old folks who'd got up early to put their Sunday best on, and it made it harder for the nurses to assess how they were coping day to day with their treatment.  A blazer and tie demeanour that had taken absolutely ages to do could semi-craftily give the impression of someone able to continue when in fact the best thing might be for them to pause or stop.

Ah yeah, now you mention it, he did stop coming to the pub in the evenings as he got older and was slowing down, apparently he occasionally popped in for one in the day if passing, but when he got to that I did bump into him looking pretty old in the doctors surgery when I had an appointment, still in the get-up.

One of the other old soaks, also now late of the parish used to religiously wear double denim, like an aged cowboy who'd misplaced their hat.

[Lisa Jesusandmarychain]

Well I get out of the bath to have a piss.

I get out of the bath to have a shit ( suave by St. Helens standards).

[ImmaculateClump]

<--*------->

I'm about there I reckon.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Suave isn't how you dress, your affectations or accessories.

Met several people who felt that was the way to access a level of sophistication, elan was to start by studying and shopping. Nope.

Some of them fragile, untrustworthy, insecure people behind the artifice. Nothing wrong with that, some can be likeable traits, or at least lend a certain charm. But they weren't suave.

[shiftwork2]

What is it then?

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

What is it then?

You can't bottle it or fake it, can you? An assuredness, an unbroken, steady elegance and class that endures regardless of situation, attire or time of day. Or background.

Of course I am trying to be earnest about the definition, we can do the thread as though suave equals a rapist spy in a suit. I think we can go with the notion there is a good, admirable suave though.