Author Topic: How suave are you?  (Read 2003 times)

imitationleather

  • "The French... are famous... for their kissing"
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Re: How suave are you?
« Reply #60 on: September 26, 2021, 01:06:24 AM »
What Levis does Levi Bellfield wear?

Re: How suave are you?
« Reply #61 on: September 26, 2021, 02:03:39 AM »
Done some calculations tonight and confirmed that I'm actually suave as fuck. Wish I'd known sooner!

Mr Banlon

  • If you're gonna go nog, you gotta go Mingus
Re: How suave are you?
« Reply #62 on: September 26, 2021, 03:44:33 AM »
What Levis does Levi Bellfield wear?
6ft by 8ft Cell-vedge

thenoise

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Re: How suave are you?
« Reply #63 on: September 26, 2021, 08:06:14 AM »
-50% (give or take 25%) of my socks and underwear have holes in them.

How else would you be able to put your foot in them?

Aaaaaaaaathankyow

Re: How suave are you?
« Reply #64 on: September 26, 2021, 11:28:45 AM »
You can't bottle it or fake it, can you? An assuredness, an unbroken, steady elegance and class that endures regardless of situation, attire or time of day. Or background.
I'm living proof. I can be witty, dapper, even sophisticated, but lack the easy chemistry with people required for suavity.

imitationleather

  • "The French... are famous... for their kissing"
    • http://last.fm/user/ImiLeathr
Re: How suave are you?
« Reply #65 on: September 26, 2021, 11:29:29 AM »
I'd argue that a suave person has no place on this message board.

Re: How suave are you?
« Reply #66 on: September 26, 2021, 01:53:21 PM »
I’ve got a pair of blue shoes.

seepage

  • Undetectable in normal everyday use
Re: How suave are you?
« Reply #67 on: September 26, 2021, 02:54:11 PM »
suede?

Re: How suave are you?
« Reply #68 on: September 26, 2021, 02:59:00 PM »
I'd argue that a suave person has no place on this message board.

Oh, why's that then?
Ahem, I mean au contraire, mon ami, phwa phwa phwa

Re: How suave are you?
« Reply #69 on: September 26, 2021, 05:08:00 PM »
suede?

Actually, I forgot but I do have a pair of blue suede shoes. Also these:



How suave must I be?

Re: How suave are you?
« Reply #70 on: September 26, 2021, 05:37:33 PM »
Don't you even know how to mirror polish your shoes? You've actually brought the level of suavity on this forum down.

Re: How suave are you?
« Reply #71 on: September 26, 2021, 05:54:03 PM »
No, I rarely polish my shoes. And if you think those are bad, look at the state of these bastards (although it’s hard to get a decent shine on suede).



I’m a shabby, unsophisticated disgrace to the forum. And in general.

Sebastian Cobb

  • bad opinion haver
Re: How suave are you?
« Reply #72 on: September 26, 2021, 06:05:18 PM »
the only thing that approaches suede in my wardrobe is a pair of Adidas Gazelle's.

Blue Jam

  • (I may have you on ignore)
Re: How suave are you?
« Reply #73 on: September 26, 2021, 06:06:40 PM »
Suede? Is Brett Anderson suave? I think he might be.

I also think Jarvis Cocker, Russell Senior and Steve MacKay may be suave. Absolutely none of Oasis or Blur though. Not even Alex. Too try-hard. Also hung about with Keith Allen and Keith Allen is most definitely not suave.

Blue Jam

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Re: How suave are you?
« Reply #74 on: September 26, 2021, 06:09:59 PM »
Vic Reeves is suave AF obviously. Love Bob Mortimer but I don't think it is possible for one to be suave while being an avid consumer of pocket meat.

Sebastian Cobb

  • bad opinion haver
Re: How suave are you?
« Reply #75 on: September 26, 2021, 06:10:41 PM »
I'd say with Cocker he looks like he probably looked suave the night before you see him.

Blue Jam

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Re: How suave are you?
« Reply #76 on: September 26, 2021, 06:13:47 PM »
I'd say with Cocker he looks like he probably looked suave the night before you see him.

Suave Goggles? Is perceived suaveness directly proportional to alcohol consumption? Aye probably.

Re: How suave are you?
« Reply #77 on: September 26, 2021, 06:16:57 PM »
Eamon Holmes and Adrian Chiles.
King suaveboys.



It's Norm Macdonald if he lived another 10 years.

Blue Jam

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Re: How suave are you?
« Reply #78 on: September 26, 2021, 06:18:32 PM »
SUAVE MEATS:

Rump steak
Entrecote
Iberian ham
Organ meats (daring = suave)
Just a very simple roast chicken

UNSUAVE MEATS:

Any and all pocket meat
Chicken nuggets
Any mechanically recovered and reformed meat
Anything from a carvery

Sebastian Cobb

  • bad opinion haver
Re: How suave are you?
« Reply #79 on: September 26, 2021, 06:18:47 PM »
Suave Goggles? Is perceived suaveness directly proportional to alcohol consumption? Aye probably.

Ha I meant it more like we're always seeing him the day after where he looks a bit dishevelled and hungover, the dirty stopout.

Blue Jam

  • (I may have you on ignore)
Re: How suave are you?
« Reply #80 on: September 26, 2021, 06:19:31 PM »
Ha I meant it more like we're always seeing him the day after where he looks a bit dishevelled and hungover, the dirty stopout.

Aye, like he spent the night sleeping on a billiards table. Fair enough.

Shit Good Nose

  • A shitload of ballbags
Re: How suave are you?
« Reply #81 on: September 26, 2021, 06:24:43 PM »
No, I rarely polish my shoes. And if you think those are bad, look at the state of these bastards (although it’s hard to get a decent shine on suede).



I’m a shabby, unsophisticated disgrace to the forum. And in general.

Especially seeing as how you can't even manage to buy a matching pair (as if chucking on some red laces will be distraction enough, pffff), nor of the same size (unless your feet are indeed different sizes, in which case I apologise in advance).

Blue Jam

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Re: How suave are you?
« Reply #82 on: September 26, 2021, 06:29:07 PM »
SUAVE MEATS:

Rump steak
Entrecote
Iberian ham
Organ meats (daring = suave)
Haggis (ditto)
Just a very simple roast chicken

UNSUAVE MEATS:

Scotch eggs
Sausage rolls
Any and all pocket meat
Chicken nuggets
Kebab meat
Fridge Raiders

SUAVE VEGETABLES:

Asparagus
Any and all mushrooms

SUAVE SPORTS:

Billiards

UNSUAVE SPORTS:

Absolutely all of the others, including snooker

SUAVE SNOOKER PLAYERS:

Steve Davis
Ken Doherty
Terry Griffiths
Alex Higgins (dude could rock a nice hat, come on)

SUAVE DARTS PLAYERS:

Don't be ridiculous. dr beat and I invented the sport of "Suarts" (suave darts) to counter the lack of suave in darts. We also considered combining suave + darts + farts, but only if the last of those is achieved via the consumption of suave meat and veg (see above)

Shit Good Nose

  • A shitload of ballbags
Re: How suave are you?
« Reply #83 on: September 26, 2021, 06:30:48 PM »
I would suggest haggis as one of the few foodstuffs that happily sits in both suave and unsuave categories.

Blue Jam

  • (I may have you on ignore)
Re: How suave are you?
« Reply #84 on: September 26, 2021, 06:32:09 PM »
I dunno, I think black pudding may straddle the suave and unsuave. I think it's a notch below haggis anyway. A notch above scotch eggs. Nah, what am I thinking, black pudding will never be suave.

Shit Good Nose

  • A shitload of ballbags
Re: How suave are you?
« Reply #85 on: September 26, 2021, 06:36:03 PM »
I dunno, I think black pudding may straddle the suave and unsuave. I think it's a notch below haggis anyway.

Yes, true.  Perhaps both level pegging - go to a top three Michelin star restaurant with a 10 course taster menu in London or a cheapo greasy spoon in Govan where an extra large breakfast is £3 (INCLUDING toast and a pot of tea or mug of coffee) and you'll find both have them on the menu.  And the quality won't be that different either.

Blue Jam

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Re: How suave are you?
« Reply #86 on: September 26, 2021, 06:37:03 PM »
You'd be more likely to find a nice bit o' Stornoway black pudding in Govan tbf

I know you can get black pudding in gourmet scotch eggs but I think the presence of the word "gourmet" negates any suaveness. Informed suaveness is not true suaveness.

I just considered opening a cafe called "Suavory" selling things that are both suave and savoury, but I'd be breaking my own rule.

Sebastian Cobb

  • bad opinion haver
Re: How suave are you?
« Reply #87 on: September 26, 2021, 06:49:00 PM »
I was cooking Seekh kebabs this weekend but the next page in the recipe book was for Nargis kebabs, which I'd not heard of, but seem to be kind of like Scotch Eggs but with spicy lamb.



Anyway I need to find somewhere that does them because they look fucking sick.

Shit Good Nose

  • A shitload of ballbags
Re: How suave are you?
« Reply #88 on: September 26, 2021, 06:54:46 PM »
You'd be more likely to find a nice bit o' Stornoway black pudding in Govan tbf

One of the caffs me and my mate who lives in Glasgow go to whenever I visit uses the same haggis and black pud that Heston Blumenthal does.  Granted their breakfast isn't £3, but it is only £6.99* (including cup of tea or mug of coffee).  Suspect Heston isn't charging those prices.

(* - still quite pricy for a cooked breakfast up there mind)


Quote
I just considered opening a cafe called "Suavory" selling things that are both suave and savoury, but I'd be breaking my own rule.

Plus, every other customer - "you do know your sign is spelt wrong don't you?"

Sebastian Cobb

  • bad opinion haver
Re: How suave are you?
« Reply #89 on: September 26, 2021, 06:58:15 PM »
There's a snack van round the back of me flat that does 1x: bacon, lorne, egg, black pud, hash brown and beans for £4. 1x of everything is a bit tight but still 4 fucking quid and I can go in my slippers.

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