Nutjob American Independent Filmaker making a series about The Celts

[Video Game Fan 2000]

ancient irish druid standing over a cauldron in the middle of ancient standing stones, lightning slashes the sky behind him as he utters the ancient celtic invocation handed down from the ages "ABRACADABRA"

[Wonderful Butternut]

"She's turned the Danes against us."

The Danes............................................................................. yeah that's a good few years out, mate. Like several hundred.

I don't think he has any grasp of dates and eras in history beyond "It was a long time ago." The Romans riding multi-ethnic dinosaurs with lasers attached to their heads wouldn't surprise me.

[Midas]

The innate story structure is that of the Celtic tartan cross-hatch. Each Season will be called a "Tartan". Each Season will have 8-9 episodes called "Kilts" which are woven together into the story knot at the season finale.

[Mr Trumpet]

Ah yes the kilt, first evidence for which dates from the 1500s (AD)

[Midas]

Still, for a mere $5000...

[Gurke and Hare]

Like a lot of Americans, said individual claims Irish ancestry which is why he's making this series. But:

1) He can't even pronounce "Sligo", from where his ancestors apparently originated, correctly.

2) He continuously refers to The Celts as "The Celtics" which is wrong. Although at least he's got the hard C correct.

3) He hasn't learned how to pronounce Gaelic names and words, something important if you're making a series about Celts.

4) Every character in the series appears to be a druid. We have "Powerful Druid Queen" Maeve and "Celtic Druid God of Battle" (or whatever) Fionn mac Cumhaill. Btw, Kingsbury forgot to give the actor playing mac Cumhaill a pronounciation key that can be Googled in 3 seconds, so he pronounces the name as if it's written phoenetically. This is wrong.

5) The acting for the few bits he has produced, which consist of characters ranting to camera about the "Globalist Totalarian Roman Empire" coming to conquer them, so far is just fantastic. Awful accents, scenery chewing and looking off camera to check the script cos they weren't paid enough to learn their lines. You can view it, along with a few of Kingsbury's mangled pronounciations here:
https://twitter.com/chizmund/status/1442595249281384449

6) I don't think I'll even bother pulling him up on things like the mythical Queen Maeve (btw, Michael you should be calling her "Medb" for authenticity) who he says lived in 3000BC calling a Council of the "High Kings and High Queens" of Ireland when the concept of the High Kingship of Ireland didn't exist until the 8th century AD.

7) The Druids didn't have toasters.

So is this set in 3000BC then? With the Roman Empire? Marvellous.

[boki]

Can't get over my morbid fascination with this shite. Imagine paying $750 for THIS:



One of the worst things I've ever seen.

HA HA this-away
Haha that-away
Haha this away
Shit for cunts

[mothman]

"She's turned the Danes against us."

This joke was worth reading this thread for.

The Danes............................................................................. yeah that's a good few years out, mate. Like several hundred.

Seriously?

[Cuellar]

This doesn't look good for Starmer

[Poirots BigGarlickyCorpse]

1) RTÉ/TG4/Screen Ireland should be making a prestige television series about the Celts or the High Kings or the Fianna. People would watch it.

2) It's too bad about the heavy-handed right-wing nutjobbery because I honestly thought he was doing a bit. Like "haha historical dramas are so inaccurate, here's a parody of one."

3) If dumbass bothered to do the slightest modicum of research, he'd know there's already a Celtic myth about the great Celtic gods and heroes being oppressed by a race of ugly outsiders from under the sea. If you want to Say Something about freedom and oppression then make that. But then he can't even look up how to pronounce Sligo, so.

[PlanktonSideburns]

Make it hail ffion

Hail cum

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

Presumably the Celtics will smash the bastard oppressor English at some point, despite England not existing yet.
This needs a Mel Gibson cameo.

[bgmnts]

Also, didnt the Romans utterly cunt the Druids into non existence at Ynys Môn, which was allegedly the epicentre of druidism? Were there still druids in Ireland?

[Wonderful Butternut]

1) RTÉ/TG4/Screen Ireland should be making a prestige television series about the Celts or the High Kings or the Fianna. People would watch it.

They had a great opportunity to make a big deal of the 1000th anniversary of the Battle of Clontarf a few years ago and didn't do as much as they could have with it.

Also, didnt the Romans utterly cunt the Druids into non existence at Ynys Môn, which was allegedly the epicentre of druidism? Were there still druids in Ireland?

They're believed to have survived until Ireland was Christianised. The Romans actually never invaded Ireland.

[dissolute ocelot]

Ireland is the lost continent of Atlantis!

I think the Irish are also one of the 10 lost tribes of Israel, along with the English, the Mormons, the Pashtuns, Beta Israel, Japanese, Maori, several African ethnic groups, and white Americans.

It's handy that there's no written Irish history till about the 4th century CE, makes it so much easier to make things up.

[jobotic]

This doesn't look good for Starmer

Just what I thought.

I hope he sacrifices Akehurst then leads a hunt to capture a naked squealing Mike Gapes.

[Wonderful Butternut]

Ireland is the lost continent of Atlantis!

I think the Irish are also one of the 10 lost tribes of Israel, along with the English, the Mormons, the Pashtuns, Beta Israel, Japanese, Maori, several African ethnic groups, and white Americans.

It's handy that there's no written Irish history till about the 4th century CE, makes it so much easier to make things up.

Anyone concocting an 'origin' story for their own people in the medieval period usually appended themselves to either the tribes of Israel, or the Trojans. Sometimes both.

[Poirots BigGarlickyCorpse]

Also, didnt the Romans utterly cunt the Druids into non existence at Ynys Môn, which was allegedly the epicentre of druidism? Were there still druids in Ireland?

So Ireland was never actually part of the Roman Empire, though Roman jewellery and coins have been found in the east and south which would indicate that there was a certain amount of trade. If there were any Roman settlements there's no record of them in placenames (compare to counties Waterford, Wexford, and Wicklow, the names of which all derive from Norse languages). Druids in Ireland gradually went into decline as Christianity became widespread; as far as I know there wasn't one particular incident that ended their power.

[dissolute ocelot]

Anyone concocting an 'origin' story for their own people in the medieval period usually appended themselves to either the tribes of Israel, or the Trojans. Sometimes both.

Forgot one: the Irish and Scots are also

Spoiler alert

not

[close]

descended from an Egyptian princess called Scota.

[Poirots BigGarlickyCorpse]

By the way there's absolutely no need to attempt an Irish accent in a series about the ancient Celts/Irish gods. We would all agree to overlook an American/British/Australian/Polish accent given that it's set in pre-Christian Ireland, but not a fucking terrible cod-Irish accent.

[bgmnts]

Ah fair enough then, I knew they were never conquered as such I just assumed they were maybe Romanised a tad by proxy via trade and what have you.

I wonder why the Irish druids didn't spread it back here, considering how insanely close Ireland is to Anglesey.

Anyway I want to see someone burn alive in a wicker man on this show.

[Poirots BigGarlickyCorpse]

Ah fair enough then, I knew they were never conquered as such I just assumed they were maybe Romanised a tad by proxy via trade and what have you.

I wonder why the Irish druids didn't spread it back here, considering how insanely close Ireland is to Anglesey.

I would guess Christianity had already taken hold. St. Patrick is supposed to have come from Britain.

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

Dere's more to Celtics dan dis.

[Mr Trumpet]

The whole of the British Isles was more or less Christianised by the time of the Roman withdrawal. The only place Christianity didn't survive was England, which went pagan when the Anglo-Saxons invaded. England was (re)converted within about 250yrs, but from Rome/Europe rather than the Celtic kingdoms which practised their own variant of Christianity (different hairstyles for monks, different date for Easter etc).

[Kankurette]

Nobody tell him about Fate/Grand Order (which has Finn, Diarmuid, Cú Chulainn - who is the subject of a LOT of dog jokes - Scáthach and Medb in it).

To be fair the English did the exact same thing in the 1700s and then again at the turn of the 20th century which is part of why the popular image of celtic mythological and literature is so bowdlerized and inaccurate.

A rich tradition of "we like the forgeries better"

What, like the Grimms did with folk tales?

[Video Game Fan 2000]

A lot of the values pop culture associates with celts and druid, honourable warriors and weird new-agey beliefs, the old ways against new powers, seems to come from colonisation.

Forgers like Williams and MacPherson still have an outsized influence on the popular conception of celtic and gaelic mythogy and "druidic" beliefs. Then the Irish revival happened and we were up to our arses in begorrah

[chveik]

heard about a bunch of old hippies calling themselves druids fucking about in broceliande. they should make about a series about those weirdos

[Poirots BigGarlickyCorpse]

This thread's reminded me of this billboard ad for the Guinness Hurling Championship, in which Setanta is too old and the hound is too small.

[bgmnts]

heard about a bunch of old hippies calling themselves druids fucking about in broceliande. they should make about a series about those weirdos

I mean, I suppose if you worship and venerate the natural world you could consider yourself a druid? Not in the sense that you are part of an elite ancient class though.