books you have bought just to display so people think you're clever

[Neville Chamberlain]

How to Read Your Opponents' Cards: The Bridge Expert's Way to Locate Missing High Cards.

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

To The Lighthouse by Virginia Woolf. I did actually read it though, and fuck me it was dull. You should get a certificate for completing it.

[buttgammon]

To The Lighthouse by Virginia Woolf. I did actually read it though, and fuck me it was dull. You should get a certificate for completing it.

I've read it about five times. Do I get a special prize?

[GoblinAhFuckScary]

i've an honestly insanely bad attention-span but i know what sort of books i like so have a huge amount in stacked up that i've no guarantee of ever getting round to reading. easy to do with charity shops being a thing! i would be one of them actual liars if i said i didn't get some undue sense of satisfaction from them being there, mind

have to admit to myself that reading that fuck off hardback of the complete works of Plato on the coffee table is not a scenario that will happen

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

I've read it about five times. Do I get a special prize?

A bag of rocks for you to emulate the author with.

[chveik]

]have to admit to myself that reading that fuck off hardback of the complete works of Plato on the coffee table is not a scenario that will happen

yeah from experience buying the complete works of an author because you have a great bargain isn't the best way to get into that said author

[GoblinAhFuckScary]

yeah from experience buying the complete works of an author because you have a great bargain isn't the best way to get into that said author

i remember buying the complete lovecraft works when i was 15 or so because i thought it was great value, but it came with this atrocious looking cover which actively put me off, in addition to it seeming an overwhelming task to finish. so facile, me!

i actually can't find it online and i gave it away years ago. it had impact font on it ugh

edit: oh wait this is it. vom. fucking waterstones

[bgmnts]

have to admit to myself that reading that fuck off hardback of the complete works of Plato on the coffee table is not a scenario that will happen

Ha! I bought Homer's Iliad and Odyssey in a Barnes and Noble in NYC once and had a full two weeks, including a 36 hour flight, to get through it, and I managed about about 30 pages. It was so heavy as well. Still sitting in my collection 7 years later.

Same with Les Miserables and Metamorphosis.  There are so many books that just cannot cater to an incredibly low attention span.

[GoblinAhFuckScary]

Same with Les Miserables and Metamorphosis.  There are so many books that just cannot cater to an incredibly low attention span.

have not yet read metamorphosis but kafka fucks. i have a terribly short attention span (gimme the amphetamines now please!) but enjoyed the castles loads. v engrossing especially if you are in a position in your life where you are swamped in the machinations of some bureaucracy (dwp and nhs bollocks in my case) for empathy's sake

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

I gave up on the one HP Lovecraft book I tried when he spent an entire page describing a door in increasingly flowery and ornate language.

It's a door mate.

[holyzombiejesus]

Knock knock
Who's there?
Cthul
Cthulwho?
Raaaaaagh!!

[dissolute ocelot]

I bought a very expensive Henry Darger book that I've never taken out of the shrink-wrap because it's very expensive. I leave it lying around if I want people to think I'm a paedophile.

[GoblinAhFuckScary]

I bought a very expensive Henry Darger book that I've never taken out of the shrink-wrap because it's very expensive. I leave it lying around if I want people to think I'm a paedophile.

classic paedo

[Small Man Big Horse]

To The Lighthouse by Virginia Woolf. I did actually read it though, and fuck me it was dull. You should get a certificate for completing it.

I didn't get on with that when I read it but I loved Orlando and Mrs Dalloway, so I hope it hasn't put you off reading Woolf completely.

[touchingcloth]

I think I'd have to say The Best of The Authors.

[Icehaven]

Ha! I bought Homer's Iliad and Odyssey in a Barnes and Noble in NYC once and had a full two weeks, including a 36 hour flight, to get through it, and I managed about about 30 pages.

I wouldn't feel too bad, if I was in New York for two weeks I don't think I'd spend any time reading at all.

I don't buy books to display because we pretty much never have any guests, and the ones we do have wouldn't be remotely impressed by any books.

[Dex Sawash]

[bgmnts]

The thought of Jesus filling my hole with his Passion does give me a sense of godliness. Might read this.

[GoblinAhFuckScary]

shut yer hole

[Video Game Fan 2000]

i have almost all of nietzsche's books within reaching distance of my desk because i love reading nietzsche for fun. whenever i move them they're back there within a week

but i dont like the idea of nietzsche being the most prominent thing in my room so i cover them up with a plush toy, which is more pretentious than just having them there

but its all in vain because no one ever thinks "you know what we should do this afternoon? go visit the diarrhea idiot who won't shut up"

[Mr Vegetables]

I do the opposite of this and keep most of this kind of book on my e-reader, because I come from the kind of place where reading clever books on the bus would draw more ire than, I dunno, The Bonker's Book of Boobs

[Video Game Fan 2000]

having been beat up for reading something "that makes you think you're better than everyone else" on more than two occassions, i can't adapt to living in a town where people bring Confessions of a Mask and Fleurs du Mal to bars and leave them next to their drinks as conversation starters

[GoblinAhFuckScary]

having been beat up for reading something "that makes you think you're better than everyone else" on more than two occassions, i can't adapt to living in a town where people bring Confessions of a Mask and Fleurs du Mal to bars and leave them next to their drinks as conversation starters

people beat you up for that? yeesh i'm sorry

[Video Game Fan 2000]

i was a mouthy kid though

[bgmnts]

Yeah some people deserve it to be fair.

[Pranet]

It is awful though. I mean, more than twice?

I've bought books in an effort to convince myself I'm clever.

[Oh, Nobody]

I do the opposite of this and keep most of this kind of book on my e-reader, because I come from the kind of place where reading clever books on the bus would draw more ire than, I dunno, The Bonker's Book of Boobs

I was once reading on the bus and a passenger opposite yelled out "LOOK AT FUCKIN' BRAIN OF BRITAIN 'ERE"

I was reading a Garfield comic.

[Ray Travez]

having been beat up for reading something "that makes you think you're better than everyone else"

Was it "a book"?

Weird how some people feel aggression towards pages within covers.

[timebug]

Never bought anything that I didn't actually want to read; had the incident with my late Father in law, who was a non-reader and a pretend 'one of the lads' type,
when he was at my place once and looked at my bookshelves with scorn and a nasty sneer. 'When will you get chance to read all of them,then?' he asked. I replied that if a book was on my shelves, I had already read it,and those were the books I kept, with the intention of re-reading them sometime. Of the books I bought, about one third of them made it onto my shelves, the rest were passed on or sent down to the charridee shops after I had read or abandoned them!

[dontpaintyourteeth]

Do people really buy books to look clever? That's bleak.

I wish I was sensible like you Timebug. I'm 35 and I already have more books than I will ever have time to read. Have to actively avoid bookshops at this point because I can't stop myself from picking something up.