Salt Bae

[touchingcloth]

and like a nonce as well

I heard that "bae" actually means "nonce", and he is called salt bae because he is a) a nonce and b) uses salt in his ritualistic noncing.

[Nowhere Man]

and like a nonce as well

He can chuck salt around like a div but I doubt he can visit pepperland in a cartoon submarine like the Ringo can

[beanheadmcginty]

NaCl is an anagram of "clan". Makes you think.

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

Salt Bae is an anagram of "nonce". Makes you think.

[Inspector Norse]

Is this bloke genuinely only famous because he bounces salt off his elbow? If so, has anybody ever become famous for something even less impressive than that? (royals don't count)

There was that bloke who literally got knighted for walking around his garden

[Butchers Blind]

That fella who turned up at BBC for a job then got interviewed live on BBC News.

[touchingcloth]

I heard he bounced a cat off his elbow into a bin.

[Replies From View]

'THUNK'

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

'THUNK'

No, heard. Can't you read?

[Replies From View]

_{^{'let me out, meeeow'}}

[flotemysost]

another example of creeping Dubai-ification

Salt UAE

[touchingcloth]

Isn't "bae" the most dreadful word? I think the only other way you can distill shit for cunts into as few letters is with S4C, but then the Taffs come for you.

[Cold Meat Platter]

I think cunt is worth the extra letter. Treat yourself, I say. Salt Cunt.

[touchingcloth]

Salt Nonce. Worth the extra two.

[touchingcloth]

Salty little bollocks. Worth the extra whatever.

[pancreas]

As much as we might hate his guts, imagine what his school friends are going through.

[Sherringford Hovis]

what if he cum shit all over the steak

I'd rather he shat cum all over my steak - odds are greater that it's not his cum and the colour contrast would make my meal more Instagrammable.

[Goldentony]

he'd have to cum shit down someones arm off the elbow into the steak, Maradona in tears

[amateur]

Salt's gone baenanas

[ImmaculateClump]

"elbow cunt" has a much nicer ring to it.

[Paul Calf]

Or if he revealed that he has a psychological disorder compelling him always to wipe his arse with his forearm.

[Replies From View]

There will soon be a leisure centre where swimmers will slide down a flume that's shaped and decorated to resemble Salt Bae's arm, and only white swimmers will be allowed in because Salt Bae isn't called Pepper Bae

[shiftwork2]

Jay Rayner visits Nusr-Et, or rather sits outside with a kebab.

[bgmnts]

I mean obviously people like Jay Rayner are part of the problem but fair fucks that is pretty funny.

[shiftwork2]

Quite like him.  What don't you like about him?  He has zero tolerance for this kind of bullshit, for example.

[Blue Jam]

Jay Rayner visits Nusr-Et, or rather sits outside with a kebab.

Ohhhh yeahhh...

Many suggested I should eat there and take the place apart limb from gold-encrusted limb. I declined. This newspaper has better things to spend its money on. 

Oooof...

Chris Martin up there mate

I just wanted to say: I love the fact that I have posted that same photo of Judd Trump in both Salt Bae threads, and both times people assumed it was Chris Martin. Judd's arguably worse.

[bgmnts]

Quite like him.  What don't you like about him?  He has zero tolerance for this kind of bullshit, for example.

I dont dislike him, but surely food critics are a vital part of the expensive food industry? His opinion raises the value of food doesnt it? 

[Chedney Honks]

He's a good guy, Jay Rayner.

[Twit 2]

Quite like him.  What don't you like about him?  He has zero tolerance for this kind of bullshit, for example.

He's a good writer and often funny. He's also a centrist twat with shit political opinions. I'll happily read him on kebabs, but not Korbjin.

[hamfist]

Salt is NaCl

Na is Sodium

Sodium is latin for Sod

Cl is short for Clowne

Salt Bae is a Sod Clowne.

Take care my beautiful bitches.