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XIInner: 12 Angry Men Won't Wheest: Onward Cistern Soldiers! A bonkers dozen

Started by madhair60, October 04, 2021, 04:44:14 PM

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Indomitable Spirit

I really don't think it's a massive stretch to think our Gra' has a 1000+ paying subscribers. TERFs on the whole seem to be your typical middle class cunts with more money than sense - which is clearly illustrated by how quickly these legal fun gofundme begging letters tend to reach their goals.

They probably treat a subscription to his SGB like they would a direct debit to Oxfam or a David Lloyd club membership they don't use anymore.

And much as it is a blow to imagine Graham popping a bottle of champagne in a bath full of carbonara, it's nice to remember that this cunt has gone, and is still going, bananas and will somehow find a way to fuck it all up again in the not too distant future.

Chollis

Quote from: Indomitable Spirit on October 05, 2021, 02:10:01 PM
I really don't think it's a massive stretch to think our Gra' has a 1000+ paying subscribers. TERFs on the whole seem to be your typical middle class cunts with more money than sense - which is clearly illustrated by how quickly these legal fun gofundme begging letters tend to reach their goals.

They probably treat a subscription to his SGB like they would a direct debit to Oxfam or a David Lloyd club membership they don't use anymore.

And much as it is a blow to imagine Graham popping a bottle of champagne in a bath full of carbonara, it's nice to remember that this cunt has gone, and is still going, bananas and will somehow find a way to fuck it all up again in the not too distant future.

Yeah it doesn't seem that unlikely on the face of it. But going cap in hand to the old ladies on his grief blog complaining about financial difficulties? The "Buy me a Coffee" shit? His Patreon being completely dead?

QDRPHNC

If Graham was making 10k a month doing what he does, he would take every opportunity to remind his critics of that.

Dr Rock

Someone pretend to be a potential Patreon subscriber, but say it doesn't seem like he needs the money now, what's the story?


Alberon

It doesn't tally with the low engagement he's getting even on youtube. He has 10,000 subscribers there, but they're all free.

In the end he abandons all the other social media sites to return to the one that abandoned him.

Mister Six

Quote from: QDRPHNC on October 05, 2021, 02:14:46 PM
If Graham was making 10k a month doing what he does, he would take every opportunity to remind his critics of that.

This is the most compelling argument.

Indomitable Spirit

Quote from: QDRPHNC on October 05, 2021, 02:14:46 PM
If Graham was making 10k a month doing what he does, he would take every opportunity to remind his critics of that.

I think the figures work out nearer 6k, but if they are at all close to correct, then he's probably balancing his overwhelming desire to gloat about his purloined riches with the need to keep the gravy train rolling on. Divorces / child support are expensive arrangements.

Then factor in near constant first class cross country rail fares so he can can stand outside municipal buildings shouting at bemused strangers, you start to see that 6K a month doesn't stretch as far as you'd think.

Dr Rock


BennyHedgehog


Chollis


QDRPHNC

Quote from: Indomitable Spirit on October 05, 2021, 02:28:35 PM
I think the figures work out nearer 6k, but if they are at all close to correct, then he's probably balancing his overwhelming desire to gloat about his purloined riches with the need to keep the gravy train rolling on. Divorces / child support are expensive arrangements.

Then factor in near constant first class cross country rail fares so he can can stand outside municipal buildings shouting at bemused strangers, you start to see that 6K a month doesn't stretch as far as you'd think.

Well, it says 1k+ (a little like Linkedin's magical 500+... is it 501? Is it 100,000? Who knows, but you're probably a thrusting, fucking business Bezos-Gandhi hybrid guru), so I was being generous.

And I could accept what you're saying, if it weren't for the fact that Graham has no discretion or impulse control whatsoever and loves a good gloat. If you're at far past the point where you're calling people you don't know on Twitter paedos because you don't like the colour of their hair or whatever, you're not going to stop flapping your lips about your lovely bigot money.

MojoJojo

Quote from: Mister Six on October 05, 2021, 01:37:08 PM
Do the free gifted subscriptions automatically renew, also for free? Will people get an email inviting them to input their credit card details for uninterrupted bananaflow? Are we going to see a good chunk of that 1k number evaporate at the start of Linehan's second year (assuming he hasn't choked to death on bile or self-immolated or something)?

https://support.substack.com/hc/en-us/articles/360037465612-How-do-I-offer-a-complimentary-subscription-to-a-reader-

Author chooses. Substack being a bit sneaky there, making it is easy to inflate their "Paying subscriber" by counting gifted subs as paid.
I really don't think he's getting paid subscriptions. It's just a way for him to control who posts on his blog.

Quote from: Indomitable Spirit on October 05, 2021, 02:10:01 PM
I really don't think it's a massive stretch to think our Gra' has a 1000+ paying subscribers. TERFs on the whole seem to be your typical middle class cunts with more money than sense - which is clearly illustrated by how quickly these legal fun gofundme begging letters tend to reach their goals.

Yeah, but most TERFs don't like him either. Most see him as an embarrassing ally at best, and really don't like the way he puts himself at the forefront of everything.


PlanktonSideburns

So who are you gifting them to? Anyone with a sad unstuck account (I mean sub stack account, but none the Less) our just to an email?

George Oscar Bluth II

Quote from: Indomitable Spirit on October 05, 2021, 02:28:35 PM

Then factor in near constant first class cross country rail fares so he can can stand outside municipal buildings shouting at bemused strangers, you start to see that 6K a month doesn't stretch as far as you'd think.

God imagine you're heading to see your Great Aunt or something, you've upgraded to 1st as a treat (it's the weekend, it's only another £20) you get on board at Paddington and sat opposite you is Bananacunt on his way to picket the Welsh Assembly who spends the entire journey muttering about healthy breast tissue.

Pimhole

Quote from: Chollis on October 05, 2021, 02:13:01 PM
Yeah it doesn't seem that unlikely on the face of it. But going cap in hand to the old ladies on his grief blog complaining about financial difficulties? The "Buy me a Coffee" shit?

We'll all just have to point out the discrepancy next time he gets LGB Alliance to beg for more women and pensioners to subscribe to his SGB.

Onward Cistern Soldiers
Marching as to war
With

FalknerHinton

Quote from: Chollis on October 05, 2021, 02:01:26 PM
Have to say this Paying Subscribers stuff is a bit of a blow. Had hoped that destitution, most likely brought on by losing legal battles, would be the next milestone for BC after the divorce.

I was quite surprised too when I saw it, but having thought about it a bit I'm much more sanguine.

As people have pointed out, we know BC has given away lots of subscriptions. One of his very first posts said that anyone he followed on twitter would get a free sub if they asked, and that he's hand them out if he was "a bit drunk"*

Secondly, many of those that actually did pay are probably annual, one off payments, not a monthly one. I've nothing to back this up other than his demographic are terrible at the internet and several have said they've bought the annual one.

And thirdly, like others have said, given his engagement on other platforms, over a 1000 paying subs would be vastly anomalous.

e: Now with data.

Here he is shortly after starting the SGB saying he'll hand out subs to people he followed on twitter or anyone who asked him when he'd had a few


Source

And here is how many people he was following the day before he got banned


Source

So it's entirely possible, although highly unlikely, that he has no paying paid subs at all.

He has also mentioned in the recent past that his sub conversion rate (from free to paid) is 9:1, which doesn't sound like long-term financial success to me, but what do I know?

Seems like he should be much more servile to Alan Driscoll in that case. The customer is always right, and in this case the customer makes up a sizeable proportion of his income.

Mister Six

It did seem notable that he gave Driscoll a time out rather than a ban. Got to keep that 8 quid sub coming in.


Wonderful Butternut



dead-ced-dead

Quote from: Wonderful Butternut on October 05, 2021, 04:24:50 PM
Breaking: Graham Linehan to travel to the Moon.

(And then we blow up the Moon)

I'm imagining BC sitting in isolation on the moon like Dr. Manhattan on Mars in Watchmen.

"I am tired of earth. These beards. Tired of not being able to get the cum stains off my trousers."

I wish we had a Moley to photoshop up us a Dr. Glinhattan.


bigfatheart





Mister Six

He's more like a shitty Nite Owl II, rapidly transitioning into Rorschach.

Ferris