Started doing old man stuff

[shiftwork2]

Physical stuff.  Earlier I caught myself doing that lip suck thing that the proper old gimmers do.  I will soon be gurning and not at a contest.  'Oof' is now mandatory when getting out of a chair.  I sometimes have to rock back and forth a few times to get out.  I experience genuine frustration when I encounter packaging at the level of four Dove soap bars wrapped together with a bit of plastic.

In this thread please write posts about your aging tales, or joke about my looming suffocating death.  Alright cheers then.

[imitationleather]

I turned 35 today and I must have pissed about 300 times.

[Spode]

I turned 35 today and I must have pissed about 300 times.

That's not even 10 pisses a year. I wouldn't worry.

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

Dead soon grave OOF haha

[Johnny Yesno]

She's called your mum.

[Johnny Yesno]

I turned 35 today and I must have pissed about 300 times.

Happy pissday, old man.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Even at 24 and totally pile free I enjoyed going "ooooooaaaaaaaauuuuuggghhhhhaaaaaa" when slumping into a seat after a long walk.

Great though innit

[Stoneage Dinosaurs]

-Gruntings when entering/evacuating chair
-"Where did I leave my glasses"
-Starting to be irritated by young people / Tiktok and that

28 years old I am

Angrew Lloyg Wormfood

Edit: also it takes me considerable effort to remember what my age is

Edit2: Also I am starting to get fat but I don't know if that's specifically an old man thing

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

At what age do you start shouting at televisions as if it's a two way medium? That's the age when you can throw me on a motorway.

[Bennett Brauer]

Happy pissday, old man.

I just sang Happy Birthday to IL and did a high harmony way too loudly on the last line, which is definite old man behaviour.

I've also farted abruptly in a shop twice in the last month with no suspicion that anything was on the way. Hello decay and death, come in and have a cup of inexplicably weak tea.

[Inspector Norse]

At what age do you start shouting at televisions as if it's a two way medium?

Whatever age you first encounter the England Cricket Team

[Spode]

Got called 'Sir' in a shop last weekend. Was fuming with the polite prick.

[Ray Travez]

Got a nice gimmer blanket that I share with my wife. It covers our knees while we're watching the Antiques Roadshow, keeps us nice n' toasty. You can read this in an Alan Bennett voice if you like, it adds to the ambiance.

[Vitamin C]

I turned 35 today and I must have pissed about 300 times.

When this happened to me, it turned out it was the first sign that I had diabetes. Happy birthday!

[Chollis]

I wake up almost every night at like 4am needing to piss. Only started happening in the last few years.

[Vitamin C]

I wake up almost every night at like 4am needing to piss. Only started happening in the last few years.

When this happened to me etc etc

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

Got a nice gimmer blanket that I share with my wife. It covers our knees while we're watching the Antiques Roadshow, keeps us nice n' toasty. You can read this in an Alan Bennett voice if you like, it adds to the ambiance.

Mate, I've got an electric one that plugs in and warms you up.

[Poirots BigGarlickyCorpse]

I wake up almost every night at like 4am needing to piss.

Same, but I think it's a combination of too much tea before bed and my arthritic dog crying because he can't get off the floor.

[pigamus]

I turn lights off in a passive-aggressive way

[Tony Tony Tony]

Got really annoyed when I found out there was no Antiques Roadshow last Sunday.

Started to enjoy The One Show.

Travelled on a bus.

Starting to buy wine on the basis of the blurb on the label.

Used the word 'blurb'.

Farted on each step of the stairs.

[Cuellar]

Whatever age you first encounter the England Cricket Team

Under 10 then :(

[mothman]

What a bunch of babies you are! Certainly when compared to me in age terms. And you haven't even got to the erectile disjunction yet.

Spoiler alert

Me neither, no idea when it starts or how common it is.

[close]

[Jerzy Bondov]

Falling asleep on the sofa holding the TV remote.
Developing the belief I can fix all broken electronics.
"Pottering".
Being able to just sit in the car doing absolutely fuck all for literally hours at a time

[ImmaculateClump]

I was just thinking about this the other day.
I really lean into it and go "oooh-ay! oooooh-aaay!" when I'm going up the stairs, for example.
It feels like I'm a young upstart doing a scathing parody of stupid old people, wondered if I was overdoing it subconsciously to protect myself from the truth.

Is that how it starts?
Just one day you can't crank it up any higher, and you break down half way up the stairs, crying with your head in your hands?
I'll try not making any noise at all next time and see how that goes.

[Voltan (Man of Steel)]

Just wait until you youngsters get to my age. I recently turned

Spoiler alert

sixty (fucking hell!)

[close]

and I struggle to

Spoiler alert

bench press 100kg

[close]

nowadays #humblebrag.

One thing I have noticed is that over the last couple of years the feeling of needing to piss goes from slight to critical alarmingly quickly. So that bodes well for the future.

[bgmnts]

To be fair I have had the body and mind of a 65 year old basically as soon as I hit 17 or 18 but I remember a signifier of old age was in my mid 20s when I started making random grunting noises when getting up off a chair or the sofa.

[Replies From View]

typical old man behaviour from shiftwork2 has already reared its filthy ass in HS Art:

https://www.cookdandbombd.co.uk/forums/index.php/topic,89858.0.html

[Ferris]

I turn lights off in a passive-aggressive way

I also do this. Lots of eye-raising at whatever feckless lunatic[nb]me, usually[/nb] has left the fucking lights on when there's kids starving in Africa.

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

At what age should one start doing dirty old man stuff? I'm 40 years old, so should I start now and get a head start on the competition?

[mothman]

Oh, I've always made improper suggestions to, and leered at, my wife.