Started doing old man stuff

[Cuntbeaks]

Started to enjoy The One Show.

Woah, easy now Milquetoast.

[Huxleys Babkins]

At what age should one start doing dirty old man stuff? I'm 40 years old, so should I start now and get a head start on the competition?

I'm presuming it'll all occur naturally. Just as I naturally matured and grew out of lusting after silly teenagers as I went through my early twenties, so I presume I'll grow back into it as I hurtle toward my sixties.

[Dex Sawash]

Did my first lemon party

[PlanktonSideburns]

Leaning into it I am. Got a wearing my grandfathers woollen coat, started washing my fist at the sky if it starts raining

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

Interesting. Do you soap up the fist beforehand?

[Clatty McCutcheon]

Have started noticing how much more expensive things are than they once were - trivial things like bags of crisps.

Bought a bag of crisps for about 70p from a corner shop and was very close to making an old man comment like 'I can remember when these used to be about 20 new pence, you know ...' to a bored young shop assistant

Teetering on the edge of turning into a latter-day version of the kind of old git who would say things like 'I remember when you could get a slap-up meal, a night out on the town, a handjob, a middle-of-the-range Ford Cortina, 200 Capstan Full Strength cigarettes, a ticket to the European Cup Final and a big bag of quaaludes for sixpence-and-a-farthing'.

[The Bumlord]

Strolling with hands clasped together at the small of the back. Can't stop myself.

[Sherringford Hovis]

Genuine excitement when the new Lakeland catalogue arrives.

[Ian Drunken Smurf]

I used to have two pairs of pyjamas solely for the possibility of ever needing to go into hospital and wanting to make sure I looked smart. Now I have about 8 pairs solely to ensure that I don't get cold at night.

[Ian Drunken Smurf]

I am currently wondering where my fifth cardigan is. Fortunately working from home has spared me from getting a tie clip.

[Ian Drunken Smurf]

Have started noticing how much more expensive things are than they once were - trivial things like bags of crisps.

Bought a bag of crisps for about 70p from a corner shop and was very close to making an old man comment like 'I can remember when these used to be about 20 new pence, you know ...' to a bored young shop assistant

Teetering on the edge of turning into a latter-day version of the kind of old git who would say things like 'I remember when you could get a slap-up meal, a night out on the town, a handjob, a middle-of-the-range Ford Cortina, 200 Capstan Full Strength cigarettes, a ticket to the European Cup Final and a big bag of quaaludes for sixpence-and-a-farthing'.

I raised this to a new level, by remarking what the Austrian schilling price equivalent was of a main course priced in Euro.

"Bald tot!" is German for dead soon.

[jamiefairlie]

Strolling with hands clasped together at the small of the back. Can't stop myself.

Lovely isn't it?

[jamiefairlie]

I turn lights off in a passive-aggressive way

Yeah, it's such a satisfying 'snap!' when done with aggression.

[Huxleys Babkins]

£30,000 for a bloody Kia??? You can get a Golf GTI for less than that!!!

Turns out you can't, and haven't been able to for about 15 years.

[Tony Tony Tony]

Strolling with hands clasped together at the small of the back. Can't stop myself.

If it's good enough for Prince Charles....

Gawd bless 'im.

[Jerzy Bondov]

Stopping for a look at a building site

[poodlefaker]

really? eleven pounds twenty? are you sure? so how much is the pint? and the g & t is what? so the crisps are, what, about  one pound fifty? ok, hang on, i've got some more change here somewhere, won't be a minute.

[Twit 2]

Stopping for a look at a building site

Looking at house prices in estate agent windows, even though you're not looking for a house.

[TrenterPercenter]

At the ripe age of 41 I am now permanently wearing a knee support and ankle support for footy and have considered keeping them on for over activities.  Can't run for shit either; used to be able to smash 3 miles at a good pace (less than 2 years ago) no probs now I'm struggling to get in a mile without stopping.

Getting old physically is shit, getting old mentally is great though.

[Johnny Foreigner]

I find myself regularly checking for grey hairs amongst my gorgeous golden locks. I count myself lucky in still not finding any, even though 40 is approaching apace. When I met up with two old school friends three years ago, I was horrified to see them both grey as mice and partially bald. This was when it dawned upon me that, perhaps, I might not be immortal after all.

[Ray Travez]

Looking at house prices in estate agent windows, even though you're not looking for a house.

Looking at the interiors of a property on zoopla, and discussing the decor and the pros and cons of the layout, with absolutely no intention of ever living there

[Fr.Bigley]

I look forward to soup.
I watch gardeners world.
I tut at loud youths in pubs/restaurants.
I went clubbing recently and cried on my return.

Etc.

[Ray Travez]

Mate, I've got an electric one that plugs in and warms you up.

A heated blanket for the knees- you are living the dream my friend

[Jerzy Bondov]

I just fixed a wind up torch

[Pink Gregory]

Receding hairline at the corners.  To be honest I think it looks alright.  About the only thing that makes me feel 30.

[Gurke and Hare]

A notice board with historical information about an unremarkable street in an unremarkable town? Well, I'd better stop and read this no matter how much of a hurry I'm in.

[thenoise]

really? eleven pounds twenty? are you sure? so how much is the pint? and the g & t is what? so the crisps are, what, about  one pound fifty? ok, hang on, i've got some more change here somewhere, won't be a minute.

Oh look its poodle he still pays with coins like some medieval peasant.

[Ferris]

For bonus old man points you have to get one of those folding wallet coin holder things that just holds coins and pipe cleaners and bits of old string etc.

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

Strolling with hands clasped together at the small of the back. Can't stop myself.

Why not take it to the advanced level? Twiddle the thumbs of the clasped hands.

[Cuellar]

"Would you like a receipt?"
"Oh yes please"