We have a winner

[Ferris]

Don't they have a Trailer Park Boys quiz near you Ferris?

Might be too easy when the answer to every question is "Fuck off Lahey".

I'd never beat the greasy bunch of locals who never even got their grade 12.

[buttgammon]

No 12" plate then?

Well jel. Seriously.

I think they're 12 inches or thereabouts; certainly big enough to qualify as Alan's big plate, but unfortunately, they have the logo of some random Dublin hotel on them.

Simon Greenall was really nice.

[Pranet]

Used to win quite a lot of CDs and books from the radio. You may remember that the BBC had to stop running those competitions because shows had to make up winners because no one was entering them.

Usually enter a tombola if I see one, occasionally got some booze out of it.

Probably biggest cash value of something I've won was tickets for Green Man in some random internet competition.

Friend of mine won the Gadget Show £30000 of stuff.

[phantom_power]

I won a copy of Henry Portrait of a Serial Killer and T-Shirt (the perfect thing to wear to family gatherings, work socials etc.) from Mark Kermode's film spot on Mark Radcliffe's Graveyard Shift Radio 1 show in the 90s

[ImmaculateClump]

I'd suggest binning or selling it.

Yeah, probably for the best. I won it on a technicality anyway, it won't pain me to fuck it off into a wheelie bin.

[madhair60]

Post it to me, and I'll use it entrap nonces as part of my nonce trapping

(seriously, ebay it)

[Icehaven]

Friend of mine won the Gadget Show £30000 of stuff.

I always wondered about the lucky sods that won that! Did your friend keep it all or stick loads of it on ebay? I've never lived anywhere big enough to store even half of it, I don't think many people do.

[Blue Jam]

There was a caravan competition for bullet soul infinite burst when it launched on steam.

There are 4 different playable characters with separate leaderboards for the caravan stage and they were going to give a prize to the person who came top for each.

Some guy stormed it and came top for like 3 different characters so they gave prizes to the second place players too to make up for this.

I was just in it for the shits and giggles, but I had to end up paying postage from Japan and what came was an "I am a cartoon nonce" poster with a little squiggle signature in the corner.



"That's not going on my fucking wall" I thought and it's been collecting dust in my cupboard ever since.

I saw some questionable things during my UFO Catcher career in Tokyo. One machine had prizes of "waifu" mouse mats which had some kind of very young anime character's face on the flat bit, and the padded bit for the wrist was designed to resemble her bewbs. Bit like in this mildly NSFW image, or this SFW one:



Yeah... didn't fancy playing for one of those.

[Pranet]

I always wondered about the lucky sods that won that! Did your friend keep it all or stick loads of it on ebay? I've never lived anywhere big enough to store even half of it, I don't think many people do.

He did end up selling a load of it- he lives in a house but it is quite a small one. I was around there at the weekend. He won a couple of tvs, sold the insanely large TV, which would have taken up most of the wall of his lounge, and kept the tv that was merely stupidly large. But he did say he didn't really get that much money for it. Sold a bike and other bits and bobs. It was great but it would spoil you a bit I think. He has a very nice laptop for instance and I don't think when the time comes to replace it he could get anything nearly like as good.

[A Hat Like That]

I always dreamt about winning a meat raffle. Never happened.

Thursdays at the Radcliffe Arms.
A chicken, once, and a full english set with square sausages!

[Yussef Dent]

Gradually accumulated winnings of several £thousands over a few years on football betting, then forced to stop when all my bookie accounts were either closed or limited over the course of a few months. They all proudly advertise that they don't close winning accounts, but they do. Oh, the bastards definitely do.

This happened with a mate of mine who made a fair whack doing matched betting. Betting companies won't stop giving offers out as they gain/keep more than enough customers via doing so. The trouble is once they know you're playing the system they kick you off. You may have done this anyway but he was told by someone to put on "mug bets." Basically, put on a number of small bets every now and then that are almost guaranteed to lose, taking the smaller loss as collateral to keep the wolves from the door on that account for a bit.

[Blue Jam]

I have considered trying matched betting before but I've just read too much about how it's basically like having a second job, and an utterly tedious one at that, unless you really, really, really love spreadsheets. And on top of that your account might still get closed, just one more faff.

[Famous Mortimer]

Gradually accumulated winnings of several £thousands over a few years on football betting, then forced to stop when all my bookie accounts were either closed or limited over the course of a few months. They all proudly advertise that they don't close winning accounts, but they do. Oh, the bastards definitely do.

I won the better version of this account, apparently.

I won a load of tickets to a wrestling event with Jake "The Snake" Roberts once. I got all my friends to enter too, and we ended up winning all the tickets, indicating they either had a lot to give away, or we were the only entrants. The night was at the height of the Steve Austin "what?" times, which is my only strong memory.

Also, this is my 24,000th post. A few thousand too many, as I'm sure you'd agree.

[Pink Gregory]

oh yeah, my Nan won a substantial amount from the People's Postcode Lottery for her 90th birthday.

Which was nice.

[Sebastian Cobb]

Primary School raffle: Book on red squirrel
University pub quiz raffle: Toaster

[seepage]

Work raffle: Amstrad E-mailer - didn't bother collecting it.
Wine forum: posh preservation thing - didn't receive it but didn't follow up as the admin had just had a bereavement.
School raffle: acoustic guitar, which earned me the nickname 'Hank' for a bit.
Children's portrait competition: at the exhibition was told I would have won a prize if they'd known mine was of my Dad and not Winston Churchill.
Kellog's 'Car of the Future' competition: Matchbox race track, which seemed to take about 6 months to be delivered.

[Pavlov`s Dog`s Dad`s Dead]

I won a copy of Henry Portrait of a Serial Killer and T-Shirt (the perfect thing to wear to family gatherings, work socials etc.) from Mark Kermode's film spot on Mark Radcliffe's Graveyard Shift Radio 1 show in the 90s

Kermode still owes me a copy of A Streetcar Named Desire from back then, even after he rang me up - like that with the stars, me - to apologise and promise to send it out. Still haven't forgiven him.

[Blue Jam]

Work raffle: Amstrad E-mailer - didn't bother collecting it.

I once worked at a call centre where they replaced the table tennis set (which only the bosses ever used) and entered all of us phone monkeys into a raffle for the old one. It was obvious that they were just trying to get rid of a massive, heavy, knackered piece of furniture so they could pretend they were being nice and motivational towards us stressed-out callers, and so they didn't have to pay the council a fiver to collect it. I was so relieved when some other poor sod "won" that particular white elephant.

Kellog's 'Car of the Future' competition

Please tell me you actually designed a car for this. Like Homer Simpson, but in crayon.

[Yussef Dent]

I have considered trying matched betting before but I've just read too much about how it's basically like having a second job, and an utterly tedious one at that, unless you really, really, really love spreadsheets. And on top of that your account might still get closed, just one more faff.

That Profit Accumulator site that just seems to follow me around YouTube and Facebook with their ads is apparently worth looking into as it takes a lot of that leg work out. I've got a few days off from work in a couple of weeks so I'm going to try out the week free trial and see how that goes.

[dissolute ocelot]

I won World War Z starring Brad Pitt at a pub quiz. It is a mediocre zombie film.

I won a penguin biscuit in a game of pass the parcel hosted by Kriss Foster at the Edinburgh Fringe once, but forgot about it and it sat at the bottom of my bag till it was squashed and made a mess.

When I was much younger I won a philosophy prize for writing an essay about Nirvana (the band). It was a medal.

I won a book token for general excellence at school, which was ironic because I was only excellent at exams.

[madhair60]

I won five and a half grand on an online slot machine because over lockdown I got addicted to them

online gambling is VERY BAD

[seepage]

Please tell me you actually designed a car for this. Like Homer Simpson, but in crayon.

I think I just drew Ed Straker's car with 6 wheels, skis, and some reactive armour.

[Huxleys Babkins]

I won five and a half grand on an online slot machine because over lockdown I got addicted to them

online gambling is VERY BAD

Sounds like you're trying to put us all off so you can win all the money for yourself. Bad luck, seen right through it.