Extracting the urine

[eagle_bearer]

Let's rewind to last Saturday. I'm at the Super League Grand Final. I don't even like rugby, but that's another story. It's full time. I'm bursting for a pee pee. My bladder is swollen and burning. My penis is painfully erect. The whole shebang. I go into the toilets, as you do, and there are only two cubicles and both are locked. There are loads of urinals, but . . . I don't like them.

The whole concept is odd and uncomfortable. I don't want to get my willy out in public and touch it, and I shouldn't have to. I don't want strange men standing next to me while I go through such an intimate process. I don't want them to covertly glance at my willy. It's mine and should only be viewed by those selected at my discretion.

But I had to use a urinal. And as I urinated, I felt exposed and sad. Is it just me? What do you blokes think about urinals? Maybe you're not bothered about whipping the old chap out. Perhaps you're reading this thinking, 'Get over it, you wimp. It's not a big deal.'

And, as ever, I do not want to exclude women from the thread, and I'm genuinely interested in what you, as a woman, think of urinals. Would you be happy to squat down in public and flash your threepenny bits to all and sundry? What do you think about men doing it? Just a natural act of life, no biggie, or something that should be confined to a cubicle?

[Huxleys Babkins]

My penis is painfully erect.

Wait, what?

[checkoutgirl]

Perhaps you're reading this thinking, 'Get over it, you wimp. It's not a big deal.'

Bingo. 100% of the time I'm in a pub I'm getting drunk and pissed up on booze which lowers my inhibitions so any hesitancy about whipping out my button mushroom are dissolved by the time I have to go.

Stop being a baby, it's tiresome.

[checkoutgirl]

Wait, what?

Poetic licence I assume. A boner is not part of the normal daytime urination process.

[first skeleton on mars]

Wait, what?

can see why it might be awkward getting it out at the urinals in those circumstances

[PlanktonSideburns]

Bingo. 100% of the time I'm in a pub I'm getting drunk and pissed up on booze which lowers my inhibitions so any hesitancy about whipping out my button mushroom are dissolved by the time I have to go.

Stop being a baby, it's tiresome.

Yea dickhead show us your dick

[Buelligan]

Still, I think it needs saying, it's important to have a thread about genitalia and pissing, on the hour, every hour.  Obviously, shitting and noncing must have their turn.  Maybe do one tomorrow - wartime reminiscences - something like that.

[jobotic]

It's really not a problem. You're facing the urinal and the urinal can't see. If you're facing the man next to you, you're doing it wrong.

[Jittlebags]

Things used to be much simpler in the 70s. If you wanted a piss whilst watching a football game, you'd simply piss (preferably using a rolled up Echo) into the pocket of the bloke standing in the row in front of you.

[Butchers Blind]

Urinating with an erect penis can be embarrassing in a public situation.

[pigamus]

If there's at least one urinal's width left and right from an adjacent pissee, I can still go. If he's standing right next to me I can't. Unless I'm very drunk.

[eagle_bearer]

I feel I need to address some of the comments. Firstly, it is completely normal to become erect when you have been holding a wee in for a decent amount of time. I don't know why people are playing silly buggers and pretending this doesn't happen. Secondly, I hung around the urinals for a few minutes to allow the erection to subside before I withdrew my penis to urinate. I was acceptably flaccid when I was flowing.

[Tony Tony Tony]

Let's rewind to last Saturday. I'm at the Super League Grand Final. I don't even like rugby, but that's another story.

I don't want strange men standing next to me while I go through such an intimate process. I don't want them to covertly glance at my Willy

C'mon you were at a sporting event probably surrounded by Legend Gary's. Let 'em have a sneaky peek at your member. After all they either gonna go away in awe of your enormous trouser snake or snigger and maybe slap you on the back and say "commiserations old chap" before laughing all the way home.

So which was it? Is it a mighty Mamba or something that looks like a cock but smaller? I think we should be told.

[touchingcloth]

I dislike urinals. I sit down to piss at home, so I don't see any need to give up that creature comfort when I'm out and about and to swap it for the ignominy of hosing down a latrine with my cock.

[Butchers Blind]

Firstly, it is completely normal to become erect when you have been holding a wee in for a decent amount of time.

You're going to have to back this up with scientific evidence

[Vinnie01]

But I had to use a urinal. And as I urinated, I felt exposed and sad. Is it just me? What do you blokes think about urinals? Maybe you're not bothered about whipping the old chap out. Perhaps you're reading this thinking, 'Get over it, you wimp. It's not a big deal.'

Sounds like Avoidant Paruresis (Psychogenic Urinary Retention aka Shy Bladder)  with the public toilets or urinals.

[Chedney Honks]

Got it in one, Vin. The guy's repressed as fuck.

[Tony Tony Tony]

You're going to have to back this up with scientific evidence

Or a pic of your erect cock.

[first skeleton on mars]

If there's at least one urinal's width left and right from an adjacent pissee, I can still go. If he's standing right next to me I can't. Unless I'm very drunk.

suppose there's enough room BUT the other fellow is hanging around waiting for his erection to subside

[pigamus]

My penis is painfully erect.

I shall wank you off.

[Tony Tony Tony]

suppose there's enough room BUT the other fellow is hanging around waiting for his erection to subside

George Michael's defence team enter the thread.

[checkoutgirl]

it is completely normal to become erect when you have been holding a wee in for a decent amount of time.

Is this one of those things you are convinced is completely normal because you've never checked with anyone else?

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

He is correct though.

[Bigfella]

I feel I need to address some of the comments. Firstly, it is completely normal to become erect when you have been holding a wee in for a decent amount of time. I don't know why people are playing silly buggers and pretending this doesn't happen. Secondly, I hung around the urinals for a few minutes to allow the erection to subside before I withdrew my penis to urinate. I was acceptably flaccid when I was flowing.

Never needed to pee then got hard.  What I do get is waking up with a full stiffy then having to think about Maggie Thatcher to bring it down to half mast so I can have my morning pee.

[Vinnie01]

Got it in one, Vin. The guy's repressed as fuck.

This condition may also require self catherisation, also if your taking meds. Some side effects can cause it too.

[eagle_bearer]

Some people are barking up the wrong tree. I was able to flow freely upon command.

[shiftwork2]

Never had an erection from a full bladder.  That would be amazingly inconvenient given, you know, having a full bladder.

[TrenterPercenter]

Sounds like Avoidant Paruresis (Psychogenic Urinary Retention aka Shy Bladder)  with the public toilets or urinals.

Please don't pathologise the poor man[nb]I'm just kidding you are spot on[/nb]

[TrenterPercenter]

Never had an erection from a full bladder.  That would be amazingly inconvenient given, you know, having a full bladder.

I think there is something in this; I couldn't make it through the original OP laborious description of what everyone knows as "stage fright" but the pressure of a full bladder can cause stimulation of the sacral nerve.

[eagle_bearer]

Perhaps this thread should be split because too many are focusing on the erection aspect. This discussion was supposed to be about the utter invasion of privacy of being forced to handle your penis in public. There weren't even any dividers at the urinals to make you feel a bit less vulnerable. And we're not talking about toilets in the Dog and Duck. This was Old Trafford. Surely the billionaire Glazers can provide more cubicles or dividers between the urinals.