Extracting the urine

[touchingcloth]

I remember when I was young - ooh, five, six - hearing some older boys - they must have been, ooh, eight, nine - talking about a film one of them had been watching where a man and woman had shagged.

"What's shagged?" I asked.

"It's where the man sticks his willy in the woman's fanny." I was told.

"How long for?" I asked.

"A few hours, probably." I was told.

"What if he does a wee while he's in there?" I asked.

"She slaps him." I was told.

Is this information accurate?

[touchingcloth]

Perhaps this thread should be split because too many are focusing on the erection aspect. This discussion was supposed to be about the utter invasion of privacy of being forced to handle your penis in public. There weren't even any dividers at the urinals to make you feel a bit less vulnerable. And we're not talking about toilets in the Dog and Duck. This was Old Trafford. Surely the billionaire Glazers can provide more cubicles or dividers between the urinals.

I'd rather hold it in than use either a urinal or a pan at a football stadium on a match day. I am not an animal.

And "forced to handle your penis in public"? There's a sentence crying out for a corresponding "...your honour" if ever there was one.

[eagle_bearer]

I remember when I was young - ooh, five, six - hearing some older boys - they must have been, ooh, eight, nine - talking about a film one of them had been watching where a man and woman had shagged.

"What's shagged?" I asked.

"It's where the man sticks his willy in the woman's fanny." I was told.

"How long for?" I asked.

"A few hours, probably." I was told.

"What if he does a wee while he's in there?" I asked.

"She slaps him." I was told.

Is this information accurate?

This will all be addressed in my watersports thread later this week.

[The Mollusk]

Do it through the letterbox of the local nonce like a normal person.

[The Mollusk]

Also pissing was the first male erotic act to ever take place so it's pretty obvious why some of us still get rock hard even at the mere mention of wee.

[ImmaculateClump]

I remember when I was young - ooh, five, six - hearing some older boys - they must have been, ooh, eight, nine - talking about a film one of them had been watching where a man and woman had shagged.

Elton John considers rewrite.

[pigamus]

For most of us shy cock is an inconvenience, but for Charlie Brooker it led to regular sex with Konnie Huq. Life isn't fair, is it?

[Tony Tony Tony]

Perhaps this thread should be split because too many are focusing on the erection aspect

This is CaB, what else to expect?

[mjwilson]

Perhaps this thread should be split because too many are focusing on the erection aspect. This discussion was supposed to be about the utter invasion of privacy of being forced to handle your penis in public. There weren't even any dividers at the urinals to make you feel a bit less vulnerable. And we're not talking about toilets in the Dog and Duck. This was Old Trafford. Surely the billionaire Glazers can provide more cubicles or dividers between the urinals.

Old Trafford facilities are notoriously terrible, and you don't get to be a billionaire by spending money on nice urinals.

[Butchers Blind]

Quick heads up, don't take a straw pole of blokes in a public convenience if they have an erection before urinating. Doesn't end well.

[Paul Calf]

And, as ever, I do not want to exclude women from the thread, and I'm genuinely interested in what you, as a woman, think of urinals. Would you be happy to squat down in public and flash your threepenny bits to all and sundry?

We nreed to talk about female anatomy. I have some info that might surprise you.

[thenoise]

For most of us shy cock is an inconvenience, but for Charlie Brooker it led to regular sex with Konnie Huq. Life isn't fair, is it?

Whenever I have any issues I always imagine Konnie's encouraging face and a rousing chorus of Elbow. Never fails.

[checkoutgirl]

weren't even any dividers at the urinals to make you feel a bit less vulnerable

Just get it out for the lads. Let's see what you've got going on down there.

[Johnny Foreigner]

I care not a fig about being seen whilst micturating, but my problem with urinals is the absence of paper, for there is always the confounded issue of the trailing droplets: just as one believes one has completely emptied one's urinal tract and closed one's fly again, another drop will inevitably issue forth.
As a preventative measure for this most inconvenient event, I always avail myself of proper cubicle jakes, which allow me thoroughly to wipe my tarse and cleanse it from any treacherous fluids, for such a timespan until none materialise.

[Ray Travez]

Sounds like Avoidant Paruresis (Psychogenic Urinary Retention aka Shy Bladder)  with the public toilets or urinals.

Why is not wanting to piss next to a stranger being pathologised? It's a weird situation. I avoid it always, and prefer to sit anyway. My father was a standing pisser, splashy-splash splash, territorial pissings, didn't like to shut the toilet door, sometimes pissed into a watering can in the dining room while I was eating. Forgive me if I like to invite a little decorum into my micturation, because I've seen the alternative.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

"Hi guys so let's get you to the urinals, are you alright, how is your day going?'' Do you want to start off with some bread and olives for the drip tray? Sweet, I'll be right over to take your drinks order shortly"

[Cerys]

I shall wank you off.

Glorious call-back.  I salute you.

[Vinnie01]

Why is not wanting to piss next to a stranger being pathologised? It's a weird situation. I avoid it always, and prefer to sit anyway. My father was a standing pisser, splashy-splash splash, territorial pissings, didn't like to shut the toilet door, sometimes pissed into a watering can in the dining room while I was eating. Forgive me if I like to invite a little decorum into my micturation, because I've seen the alternative.

Avoidant Paruresis is a medical condition, can be brought on by medications as well as anxiety. It is a form of social phobia. Person who has this will have a extremely hard time regardless of how full your bladder is because it locks up. If it gets too much then catherisation may be required if any other methods don't work.

To a person at a urinal with this condition may lock up forcing them to go in to a cubical or else where they may feel safe or even holding it until they get home.

[Ray Travez]

Yes, I understand that; my point was more that eagle-bearer seemed to be experiencing a normal level of emotional response in not wanting to pee in front of a stranger, rather than an extreme pathological reaction. Though of course, I can't speak for him, it's just my impression.

[touchingcloth]

Yes, I understand that; my point was more that eagle-bearer seemed to be experiencing a normal level of emotional response in not wanting to pee in front of a stranger, rather than an extreme pathological reaction. Though of course, I can't speak for him, it's just my impression.

Can you show us it in the impressions thread?

[bgmnts]

I struggled to even piss in my own house if my sister had a friend over, so bladder shy I was.

How I didnt develop a serious UTI I have no idea. My ability to hold in a piss at comprehensive school was exceptional.

Nowadays I am pretty much pissing while i'm getting it out. Age takes from us all we hold dear.

[eagle_bearer]

Yes, I understand that; my point was more that eagle-bearer seemed to be experiencing a normal level of emotional response in not wanting to pee in front of a stranger, rather than an extreme pathological reaction. Though of course, I can't speak for him, it's just my impression.

You are correct, Ray. I was easily able to complete the process once my penis had softened. Also, to address the accusations levelled at me by a few posters, I have no issues with the length, girth, or shape of my penis. I am average/normal on all those counts. I am not going to take anyone's eye out, but the willy and balls are clearly visible. My issue was the utter removal of the right to carry out the process of taking a leak in privacy.

[Midas]

Once held in a piss for an entire rotation on the London Eye. Flaccid agony.

[beanheadmcginty]

I'd recommend you avoid some of the more rough and ready bars in the deep south of America. A lot of them don't have any cubicles whatsoever. Just a shitter placed alongside the urinals in the open. Plus no door on the main entrance, so you can't even barricade the whole gents closed. You might get a torn curtain to hide yourself under if you're lucky. It's clearly deliberate as well. For such a prudish nation, they don't half have a weirdly macho-infused bog culture.

[thenoise]

And, as ever, I do not want to exclude women from the thread, and I'm genuinely interested in what you, as a woman, think of urinals. Would you be happy to squat down in public and flash your threepenny bits to all and sundry? What do you think about men doing it? Just a natural act of life, no biggie, or something that should be confined to a cubicle?

On behalf of all women, I would like to say that
Ahem.
At least one of the nightclubs in Torquay, gawd bless 'em, used to have twin loos in the ladies. Two shitters side by side so that women could continue their nattering in the cubicle (or whatever it is they do), while they do their business. And maybe they pass each other the bog roll, or wipe each other, i dunno.

Aww, you sunk my battleshit!

Maybe it was for drugs.

[Vinnie01]

Once held in a piss for an entire rotation on the London Eye. Flaccid agony.

Held it for 10 hours while very busy at work. It was extremely painful.

[touchingcloth]

I once held my cum in for about 11 years. It was a bit painful towards the end, but when I finally relieved myself? BLAMMO! Wow.

[ProvanFan]

I find urinals quite convenient for doing a piss and their presence tends to free up cubicles for the shitters and cokeheads, so everyone's a winner (except those with raging stauners).

Shitting in a particularly horrible cubicle is much worse than pissing at any urinal.

[Bigfella]

                       Never needed to pee then got hard.  What I do get is waking up with a full stiffy then having to think about Maggie Thatcher to bring it down to half mast so I can have my morning pee.

If I could be so bold as to quote myself... even though that was a true anecdote, I was obviously also acting as a feed/ straight man for every bugger to weigh in and say 'actually, Thatcher would keep me hard'. Well, the moment has gone, could be resurrected though!

[touchingcloth]

                       If I could be so bold as to quote myself... even though that was a true anecdote, I was obviously also acting as a feed/ straight man for every bugger to weigh in and say 'actually, Thatcher would keep me hard'. Well, the moment has gone, could be resurrected though!

When I was about 14 I read in FHM or somewhere that thinking of Thatcher/your gran is counterproductive because rather than your cock going "shit! Don't want to sex this! Better go soft!" it goes "shit! Don't want to give my best sperm to this! Better give it the old stuff!" and then just immediately spunks out the older sperms which are towards the front end of the testicles. Like I was trained to shelf-rotate in the supermarket, but with cums.