Turning the other cheek

[eagle_bearer]

We're all familiar with 'Coward of the County', the story told in musical form by popular country singer Kenny Rogers, God rest his soul. I'm not a fan of country music, but my mum used to listen to this kind of stuff when she was ironing. If you're not familiar with the song, it's about a pacifist named Tommy who eventually gives three local hoodlums a good hiding after they 'take turns' with his girlfriend - and there were three of them. I think we can all understand that, can't we? Or do you think the crime should have been reported to the police and left for them to deal with?

I had a similar experience as a child. I was playing football with my friend, or so-called friend as it turned out, and the ball struck a lamp post and rolled away down a street with a gradual but deceptively steep descent. My 'friend' told me to 'go and fag it'. Now, I should take a moment to explain that this was not a homosexual insult. It referred to the 'fag' at posh schools who has to do menial chores for older boys. While this often involves homosexual tasks, the words have differing etymology. Anyway, I don't know if this term was used elsewhere, but if there was an errant football in Manchester in the mid-90s, someone had to go and fag it.

As the ball had been kicked against the lamp post by my 'friend', I simply refused to fetch the ball and advised it should be he who retrieved it. He continued, in an aggressive manner, to insist I should do it. I completely disagreed and was steadfast in my conviction. Rather than see reason, he chose the way of the animal and struck me across the legs with a Mr Freeze ice pop. Like Tommy in Kenny Rogers' song, I'd had enough. I guess you could say my 'friend' had 'taken turns' with my good nature.

I lashed out with my left foot like Jean Claude Van Damme and struck his shin. That was all it took. He started crying and limped back to his house to be consoled by his mother. Was I proud of my violent act? No. But sometimes you gotta fight when you're a man, or a seven-year-old boy in this case.

So where do you stand on turning the other cheek vs Seagal style vengeance? Do you try to avoid a fight, which is absolutely the best course of action if possible, or have you ever had to distribute physical retribution?

And, as ever, this thread is inclusive. Women can fight, too. Try picking up Katie Taylor in a bar with unwanted advances and the only thing you'll be picking up are your teeth from the floor. So ladies, feel free to join in.

[bgmnts]

Song triggers me like pavlov's dog.

Is there any other famous song that features gang rape as a plot point?

[shiftwork2]

Bright Eyes

[SpiderChrist]

Turning the other cheek just means you get slapped on both.

[Buelligan]

Is this the new shitting thread?

[xxxx xxx x xxx]

Turning the other cheek just means you get slapped on both.

"They say what about the meek? / I say they've got a bloody cheek"

The Fall - Touch Sensitive

[Menyatta Zondatta]

I'll turn the other cheek, sure, but I'll grumble about it. Only when nobody can hear me though.

[thenoise]

I'll turn the other cheek alright - my arse cheek, and then let off an absolute stinker.

[touchingcloth]

I turn the other Chic and let Nile Rodgers get punched in his stupid funky face.

[Inspector Norse]

When Chuck Norris turns the other cheek, it's because he's going to hit you with it!

[pancreas]

I'll turn the other cheek when it's nicely browned and not before.

[Shit Good Nose]

Which one of the four cheeks are we saying is the "other"?  It's important to know these things.

[thenoise]

When Chuck Norris turns the other cheek, it's because he's going to hit you with it!

Yo 2005 called they want their meme back.

[bgmnts]

Yo 2005 called they want their meme back.

Surely back in 2005 they'd use the word joke.