Author Topic: Shambles  (Read 395 times)


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« on: October 14, 2021, 08:47:45 AM »
What's the most poorly organised event or function you've ever personally been a part of?

"least well organised" might have been better.


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Re: Shambles
« Reply #1 on: October 14, 2021, 09:13:52 AM »
When my mum died I made this huge flower thing to cover her coffin at the crem.  It was all done with wild flowers, special flowers she loved, sweet peas too.  All done with huge love and sorrow.  Immeasurable.

Her coffin was just a plywood one, because we didn't have much money and because it offended us (and would've done, her) to waste good wood like that and money when something that didn't involve burning it could be done with same.

Anyway, I cried my way through making this really very beautiful living coverlet for her last slumber.  It was at her house.  Waiting.  I was pretty upset, preoccupied with the eulogy, so when two young cousin-me-lads in their Subaru offered to ferry the special flowers to the funeral directors, I thought, why not?  They want to help, to feel like they're supporting us all, why the fuck not? 

And off they went.  And off I went to the service.  And there I was waiting there, I was one of the coffin bearers, waiting.  The coffin arrived with a dead bunch of garage flowers on it and we bore my lovely mum towards the flames with that tribute there.  Those cheap dead sorry-love 'mums.

Later discovered those poor lads didn't know where the funeral director's was so they'd driven around, eventually found one, the wrong one, panicked and left the flowers outside in the car park. 

I know my mum would've laughed and none of it mattered.


Re: Shambles
« Reply #2 on: October 14, 2021, 10:11:20 AM »
My Uni did a production of Monty Python and the Holy Grail, and I was part of the backstage crew, making and moving scenery, opening and closing the curtains etc. I don't know what we were thinking. It was an ambitious attempt from the outset, particularly considering no one involved had much/any experience of acting, singing, directing, staging, lighting, anything, there was very little money for set design and costumes, lead actors repeatedly missed rehearsals and the director or script person or whoever kept changing things. I've no idea how high falutin' Uni performing arts groups like Footlights etc. are run but presumably because they're all so damn clever they just magically know how to do it all, but we of Lampeter Theatre Soc really didn't, and there was an overall feeling of there being no grown ups in charge. Anyway it was a fucking shambles, and not in an enjoyably funny way, no one laughed either with or at it, most of the audience didn't come back after the interval both nights (all that effort for two nights!) and I think we ended up cutting scenes on the hoof on the second night just to get it over with. My advice would be if you don't really know what you're doing and don't have any money don't do something which requires quite a lot of staging and costumes etc. and ffs DON'T do a famous comedy everyone knows and loves using performers who's previous acting experience is second angel from the left in their school nativity play.

Lisa Jesusandmarychain

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Re: Shambles
« Reply #3 on: October 14, 2021, 10:32:54 AM »
* Person expecting a nice walk through the quaint streets of York leaves thread disappointed*

Re: Shambles
« Reply #4 on: October 14, 2021, 12:24:20 PM »
A friend of mine's 40th birthday party. Hall all hired out, 80s theme, disco. All good until the food came out. Just a table of sweets and party biscuits. Nothing substantial, nothing savoury. Just Fruit Salads and Ice Gems and the like. Kitchen door bursts open again about halfway through to serve tiny bowls of trifle. People panicking as they're starving and completely pissed. Nowhere to buy food for miles around and everyone's too pissed to drive. Takeaway can't deliver until after closing. Ask at the bar if they'll sell us some food. No, they've not paid for catering so there's nothing in. Fucking hell.

Get toward chucking out time, everyone's pissed off booze and hyper off Dip Dabs and angry cos they're hungry, and the DJ is frantically running around trying to find out who was in charge and when the cake was coming out so he could kill the lights and play happy birthday. Turns out there's no cake. No fucking cake. Birthday girl had booked her own do and just presumed her boyfriend would organise all the food and the cake. He didn't. He thought her mates were doing it. He was a useless cunt at the best of times and tonight was no exception. The only reason we had sweets and biscuits and trifle was because one of her friends thought it would be a fun thing to have to go with the boring grown up food.

Lights go out, everyone starts singing happy birthday, atmosphere is fucking death, there's no cake, birthday girl's holding back tears, everyone's calling her boyfriend all sorts of wankers, he's threatening getting violent because he's had a skin full and too proud to accept he's fucked up, I'm witnessing all this happening and absolutely fucking roaring and jamming party rings down my neck.

Best party ever.