Are you a pigeon?

[bgmnts]

Just got hooked by the big issue lady coming out of Poundstretcher on way home from office. Only had an hour but she gave it the old bless you blah blah despite showing her I had no cash (who has cash nowadays?). Before I knew it I was waddling off to the cash machine to withdraw a tenner, then queuing up behind some cunts in Greggs to get something shit for change.

I suppose it's a good cause and people probably don't even give her a look but still I'm the biggest mark going. She saw me coming a mile away, literally and figuratively.

[Icehaven]

I'm not a fan of the Big Issue personally but I spose it's a good cause. What have pigeons got to do with it?

[Lisa Jesusandmarychain]

Tom O' Connor considers rewrite.

[pigamus]

What have pigeons got to do with it?

Tina Turner considers NO YOU FUCK OFF

[bgmnts]

I'm not a fan of the Big Issue personally but I spose it's a good cause. What have pigeons got to do with it?

A pigeon is some easily swindled. An easy target i suppose?

[Icehaven]

A pigeon is some easily swindled. An easy target i suppose?

Oh right, I see.

[Lisa Jesusandmarychain]

A pigeon is some easily swindled. An easy target i suppose?

Coo![nb]DYSWIDT?[/nb] I didn't know that!

[Buelligan]

Are you a pigeon though?  Are you, if you see the (possible) swindle and choose to give anyway?  This seems more like the behaviour of an owl choosing to be a dove.

[ProvanFan]

We don't need another pigeon

du du dum

[popcorn]

A guy stopped me and asked me to go into a Co-Op to buy some food for him the other week. I decided, fuck it, why not. So I went in and he spent some time picking out something. He went for a pack of those Gu pudding things. As soon as he'd made his choice he fucked off out of the shop and left me to buy it. Fair enough.

So I bought it and went outside. He was already hassling someone else to go and buy something for him. I was slightly annoyed by this, I'm not sure if this reaction was fair or not, but it was like he'd already used me up and wasn't even saying thanks or anything. So I said "Hey man, you don't need to hassle that guy, I just got your pudding for you." He took the pudding but launched into a defensive patter about how "I'm not hassling this man I know him! I know this man!"

I felt a bit bad. Maybe he did know this guy. So I said "OK, sure" and walked off. A moment later I encountered him again. This time he really was hassling someone - I heard him telling the same story - so I said "Oh, and this is someone else you know, is it?" He said "No, I don't know this gentleman as it happens, I'm asking him for help like I had to do every day."

I shrugged and walked off, but after a moment I thought, no, that was fair enough, the guy is in dire straits and has to ask people for help. So I walked back to him - he was still hassling the guy - and said "Hi mate, sorry I snapped at you just then, that was wrong of me. Enjoy your pudding" and walked off again.

He caught up with me and walked down the street with me. He told me about how social workers were the scum of the earth and it wasn't his fault he was in a bad situation. As he spoke I recognised him as the guy who I have twice seen shooting up on my doorstep. I hoped he didn't recognise me. We were getting dangerously close to my flat so I told him I had to go in a different direction. I was now bitterly regretting having gone along with this entire interaction. He said "Can you spare a few quid for the shelter tonight?" and I said "I'm sorry mate I think that's unlikely" and he said "fucking cunt" and walked off with his pudding.

Pretty much every time I've attempted to give something to homeless people in recent times has turned into one of these weird altercations somehow. Part of it is my own fault - if I'm giving something, I should just fire and forget, not get hung up on people in bitterly shit situations not being the nicest people in the world. But man I'm more conflicted than ever about how best to act, what to do.

A friend of mine works for a homeless charity in the city and his opinion, to my amazement, was that anyone begging here was just scamming people for drugs as this city has some of the best shelters in the UK. He even reckoned that Gu pudding (expensive!!!) was bartering material.

A few months ago I enquired about volunteering at the homeless shelter near my flat (I have a lot of free time to give and fancy doing something community-oriented) but there's a waiting list for volunteers. I'll stick to donating to charities I suppose. So guilty, guilty.

[imitationleather]

I get out of all this stuff by being even more skint than they are.

[The Mollusk]

He went for a pack of those Gu pudding things.

Legend. The Zillionaire Cheesecake I bet. Did he have a quick swing by the top hat section afterwards?

"Listen mate I'm not gonna wear it honest, you can just get more money in these."

I'll say it again: Legend.

[Captain Z]

3/4 years ago there used to be a Big Issue seller regularly outside my nearest express supermarket, and eventually it got to the point where I just couldn't carry on apologetically saying "no thanks". I grew up with the common knowledge that the Big Issue cost £1, but was aware that it had increased to £2 in recent years. I made sure I had the correct change in my hand and on the way out I stopped to take one. Handed them the coins and scuttled off on my way. When I got home I looked at the cover - "Price: £2.50". Felt worse than if I hadn't bought one at all.

[pigamus]

I've never heard pigeon to mean that either. Fucking Suzie Dent making shit up for Twitter clout I shouldn't wonder, scum of the Earth that woman

[jobotic]

A pigeon is some easily swindled. An easy target i suppose?

Is that based on something? Do pigeons have this reputation in the avian world?

[AllisonSays]

A guy stopped me and asked me to go into a Co-Op to buy some food for him the other week. I decided, fuck it, why not. So I went in and he spent some time picking out something. He went for a pack of those Gu pudding things. As soon as he'd made his choice he fucked off out of the shop and left me to buy it. Fair enough.

So I bought it and went outside. He was already hassling someone else to go and buy something for him. I was slightly annoyed by this, I'm not sure if this reaction was fair or not, but it was like he'd already used me up and wasn't even saying thanks or anything. So I said "Hey man, you don't need to hassle that guy, I just got your pudding for you." He took the pudding but launched into a defensive patter about how "I'm not hassling this man I know him! I know this man!"

I felt a bit bad. Maybe he did know this guy. So I said "OK, sure" and walked off. A moment later I encountered him again. This time he really was hassling someone - I heard him telling the same story - so I said "Oh, and this is someone else you know, is it?" He said "No, I don't know this gentleman as it happens, I'm asking him for help like I had to do every day."

I shrugged and walked off, but after a moment I thought, no, that was fair enough, the guy is in dire straits and has to ask people for help. So I walked back to him - he was still hassling the guy - and said "Hi mate, sorry I snapped at you just then, that was wrong of me. Enjoy your pudding" and walked off again.

He caught up with me and walked down the street with me. He told me about how social workers were the scum of the earth and it wasn't his fault he was in a bad situation. As he spoke I recognised him as the guy who I have twice seen shooting up on my doorstep. I hoped he didn't recognise me. We were getting dangerously close to my flat so I told him I had to go in a different direction. I was now bitterly regretting having gone along with this entire interaction. He said "Can you spare a few quid for the shelter tonight?" and I said "I'm sorry mate I think that's unlikely" and he said "fucking cunt" and walked off with his pudding.

Pretty much every time I've attempted to give something to homeless people in recent times has turned into one of these weird altercations somehow. Part of it is my own fault - if I'm giving something, I should just fire and forget, not get hung up on people in bitterly shit situations not being the nicest people in the world. But man I'm more conflicted than ever about how best to act, what to do.

A friend of mine works for a homeless charity in the city and his opinion, to my amazement, was that anyone begging here was just scamming people for drugs as this city has some of the best shelters in the UK. He even reckoned that Gu pudding (expensive!!!) was bartering material.

A few months ago I enquired about volunteering at the homeless shelter near my flat (I have a lot of free time to give and fancy doing something community-oriented) but there's a waiting list for volunteers. I'll stick to donating to charities I suppose. So guilty, guilty.

I've done some volunteering at homelessness drop-ins in various cities. I think a complicated thing about it is that homeless people are often 'annoying', in various ways: rude, aggressive, hard to get along with. Some of that is circumstance and substance-abuse driven; some of it predates and in some instances partly explains their having become homeless, although then it's usually (almost always in my experience) rooted in childhood trauma or traumas.

But obviously being a dick doesn't mean you shouldn't have access to food and shelter, so you know, it doesn't matter. You can't expect people to be, like, Oliver Twist. I know you're not saying you do, Popcorn; just reflecting based on your story, it's not intended as an admonishment!

[kngen]

My mate, who worked with the homeless and in harm reduction, told me a reasonable rule of thumb was to check the person's shoes. If they were old and fucked, then the person was probably genuinely homeless or had a place in a shelter where they were kicked out at 7am and couldn't return until a certain time in the evening, so had to traipse the streets for hours on end.

If their shoes were in good nick, they were probably a smackhead on the make (or, of course, a genuinely homeless person who'd been given a newish pair of shoes. He admitted it wasn't a perfect system).

That all seems quite quaint now that I live in the US, where homeless people are so obviously homeless and probably haven't slept under a roof in months, and picking and choosing who I should give my pocket change to seems churlish in the extreme.

[imitationleather]

Legend. The Zillionaire Cheesecake I bet. Did he have a quick swing by the top hat section afterwards?

"Listen mate I'm not gonna wear it honest, you can just get more money in these."

I'll say it again: Legend.

Man was probably well aware that those pots are great for keeping paperclips in after you've washed them.

[madhair60]

yes mate. don't suppose you've got any bits of bread i can have?

[imitationleather]

Have you ever been eaten by a seagull?

[bgmnts]

[The Mollusk]

I don't often carry cash on me these days - least of all after losing my wallet last weekend - but I will always stop if addressed by a homeless person. I imagine it's absolutely soul destroying being ignored by thousands of people every day when all you're trying to do is scrape £20-30 for a hostel, or even less cash to get off your tits or eat for a bit.

A guy stopped me near a cash point a few months back asking if I'd get a tenner out for him, and he'd give me the £4 change from his pocket in exchange for the note. The dude looked like he was about 18 and he was filthy and hacking and spluttering and all sorts. He kept saying how thankful he was that I'd even took the time to listen to him, let alone help. I went to the cash point but they only had £20 notes. I withdrew one and gave it to him and refused the change he wanted to give me. He could have spent it on a roof over his head for the night or 20 Crunchies or any grizzled chunk of shit street drugs for all I cared. Just happy to see him go off and get something he wants to make a little bit of his life easier to deal with.

[madhair60]

unfortunately he used the money to become a nonce :/

[idunnosomename]

Have you ever been eaten by a seagull?

haha, once

[amateur]

Man was probably well aware that those pots are great for keeping paperclips in after you've washed them.

Decent ashtrays too.

WERE YOU AWARE that a Pringles lid is precisely the right size to fit snugly on top of a Gu ramekin? Well it is.

[Icehaven]

And Bisto kids fit exactly over my plastic wine goblets, preserving leftovers for the next day.

[Kankurette]

I wouldn't mind being one of Duncan Ferguson's pigeons.

[The Mollusk]

And Bisto kids fit exactly over my plastic wine goblets, preserving leftovers for the next day.

Check out Dahmer over here

[Icehaven]

Check out Dahmer over here

Oops! A Freudian slip if ever there was one.

[Glebe]

Altogether now...