Growing Old Gracefully

[Reverend Minge]

My other thread on Compensation Culture ended up going a bit heavy so here's something a bit lighter:

One of the threads last  week mentioned a 50+ woman who still wore Doc Martens, had crazy dyed hair, nose ring etc etc and it got me thinking - is this great or just a little bit sad?

I'm in two minds about it myself. I'm certainly not an advocate of the pipe and carpet slippers once you pass 40, but at he same time wearing gear that looks edgy on twentysomethings smacks of trying too hard when your past 40.

One of my wife's friends still dresses in the Oxfam/student/big coat style and it frankly is starting to look a bit sad on a woman in her late thirties - it's almost like she hasn't moved on. And before you start about creativity and individuality, there's no individuality involved, it's just another uniform.

I'm at 40 myself and I'm becoming aware that some of my mates who in younger days could carry off the look are now still wearing the same clothes and are at that borderline where they're starting to look like a joke. Is this how becoming an old fart starts?

[elderford]

Years ago I discovered the Andy Warhol style of dress.

Which is basically:

Get yourself a black suit.

Stick with the same hairstyle.

As you get older people will think you are getting younger.

[Gazeuse]

I think you can look a bit daft if you overdo it, but it depends very much on the person and their self confidence.

Mrs. Gaz buys all of my clothes for me and she manages to get stuff which looks 'modern' but not youthwear...It's not brown slacks (High waisters) either. I also pay a gay man to mess my hair up regularly.

I think things start to go a bit funny when the wrinkliness of the face and the greyness of the hair conflict too much with the youthfulness of the clothing. There comes a time when certain things amplify the age of the face rather than complimenting it (Wigs and hair dyeing in men ALWAYS does this).Having said that, I think it's possible to look fab gear whatever your age.

[Uncle_Z]

My other thread on Compensation Culture ended up going a bit heavy so here's something a bit lighter:

I...I...I...I'msorryokay.

In the last couple of years my tendency toward wearing jeans in all casual circumstances has faded in favour of more of a chino-esque trouser (no turnups though).  My rationale is that Jeans should not be a fashion item and should not be worn unless they have earned their "workwear" badge.  (I have done something labourious in all the jeans I own).  

My t-shirts have started to grow collars.  I have no excuse for this.

I still hang around in 'orrible rock pubs and intend to continue doing so.  the chino / polo look gets me some funny looks, but hey, I R LOL NO indievidual yeah?

As for growing old I am learning that my joints can no longer sustain heavy weightlifting so am aiming to drop a stone or so and then hover at that weight for life.  The hair is working its way backwards but I have been ready for that contingency since I was about twelve (It's gonna see thirty without being clipper fodder though.  Rah!) hence I am waiting for my face to go a bit craggy so I can carry off a Keith Allen style menacing presence.

[Purple Tentacle]

My dad gave me three pairs of his old Chinos at the weekend, which is smart because I haven't bought trousers for about 3 years.


I honestly couldn't care less about what I wear, except I absolutely love wearing my suit and feel more efficient, witty and sensual when I'm wearing it.

I'm sure a spell sitting in a tie at a call centre will cure that.

[bill hicks]

I'm sticking with my 'look' for life now.

Dodgy chino style trews (black or dark blue...I can't stand Jeans)
Band T-Shit (today Mogwai!)
Dark long sleeve shirt
THE CLASSICS! (Trainers I've had for 12 years and still going strong)

Sadly when I hit 30 it may start to make me look like a Roadie, but I'll live with that.

Or become a roadie.

[Reverend Minge]

My other thread on Compensation Culture ended up going a bit heavy so here's something a bit lighter:

I...I...I...I'msorryokay.

No apologies necessary Uncle_Z, thanks for taking part - though I can't see you and Sherringford Hovis being on speaking terms for a while....... ;-)

Back to this thread though, it must be so easy just to carry on wearing the same style of gear for years and then suddenly realise that you look a right twat. Until I had kids I was a biker and lived in a leather jacket, jeans and Docs and as I was a designer I was able to wear exactly the same kit to work.

If I hadn't have swapped the bike for a car I know that at 40 I'd still be wearing the same gear all day every day thinking I looked rock n roll when in fact  I'd look like I was stuck in a time warp. OK it looks good on Lemmy, but he's in Motorhead - if he lived in my town he'd just be an old hippy.

[Cerys]

50+ woman ... Doc Martens ... smacks of trying too hard when your past 40 ... a bit sad on a woman in her late 30s ... still wearing the same clothes ... borderline ... Is this how becoming an old fart starts?

Whatever happened to being able to wear whatever the hell you want without giving a toss what people think?  I wear what I wear because it's comfortable, but when I do go for a more dressed-up look, I go by what I think looks good.  If other people can't cope with that, it's their problem - I don't dress for them.  Having said that, I'm only thirty-one at the moment.  I hope that once the body-wrinkles set in I'll be sensible enough to work around it, and not ignore my impending saggery in the cause of making a point.

[Reverend Minge]

50+ woman ... Doc Martens ... smacks of trying too hard when your past 40 ... a bit sad on a woman in her late 30s ... still wearing the same clothes ... borderline ... Is this how becoming an old fart starts?

Whatever happened to being able to wear whatever the hell you want without giving a toss what people think?  I wear what I wear because it's comfortable, but when I do go for a more dressed-up look, I go by what I think looks good.  If other people can't cope with that, it's their problem - I don't dress for them.  Having said that, I'm only thirty-one at the moment.  I hope that once the body-wrinkles set in I'll be sensible enough to work around it, and not ignore my impending saggery in the cause of making a point.

Whoa! easy there, Cerys. I totally agree with you - wear what you like if it makes you feel good. The point I was (badly) making was that there comes a point in your life when you may realise that you've "outgrown" the clothes you've quite happily worn for years. Imagine how sad it would look if you still were walking round in Bay City Roller tartan gear and platform shoes in your 40s.

I do think though that men/women in their 40s+ trying to relive their youths by getting tattooed/pierced/dress like students DO dress for public consumption and not just for themselves as they're trying to say "I'm not getting old, honest" and just like Gazeuse said earlier, these futile attempts like these, dyeing your hair and wearing wigs just amplify your passing years.

Look, I'm having a midlife crisis, OK.  :-)

[Cerys]

Whoa! easy there, Cerys.

Oops, did I come across as mightily offended?  Trust me: I'm not.  I was typing with a grin on my face the whole time.  I agree that there comes a point at which you should realise that what looked good then can look utterly ridiculous now.  I just hope that when it comes I notice it, and don't end up being one of those women who led you to make the post in the first place.

Look, I'm having a midlife crisis, OK.  :-)

And they're not what they used to be, either....

[Reverend Minge]

Lovely to hear from you Cerys, bore da.

I've decided that from now on I'm just going to shuffle round in an old dressing gown and slippers. Fuck it.

[Virtually Perennially]

Another day, another pair of black 501s, boots and dutch army jacket. Hasn't changed for 15 years. I've even weaned my boss onto expecting no more. "Fashion is something so ugly it has to change every fifteen minutes."


On a serious note - when people make that very tired joke, "Sod that, I'm going to grow old disgracefully, " they're missing the point: a state of grace is to be desired.

[Reverend Minge]

On a serious note - when people make that very tired joke, "Sod that, I'm going to grow old disgracefully, " they're missing the point: a state of grace is to be desired.

Quite right. In your 20s you swear you'll never stop clubbing it etc. And then at 40 you look like the oldest swinger in town.......

[mook]

Another day, another pair of black 501s, boots and dutch army jacket. Hasn't changed for 15 years. I've even weaned my boss onto expecting no more. "Fashion is something so ugly it has to change every fifteen minutes."

.

If you're going to stick to a "uniform" that's not a bad one to adopt, easy to clean off the dog paw prints and baby spit up I expect.

It's people like  Brummy Steve a bloke who gets in my local that crack me up. He's a really sound bloke, but I just can't take him seriously.  He's well into his mid 50's and sports a grey pony tail half way down his back and a fucking black beret! which I guess he uses to hide his bald patch. he also wears ripped up stonewash 501s like some superannuated Brosette. He's a big fan of piercings and has a shitload of metal work sticking out of his face Oh and a stud in his tongue. He shows just about everyone his nipple rings and claims to have a prince albert.  I mean fuck it, surely he must look in the mirror in the morning and realise what a twat he looks. I wonder how much longer he's going to carry on like this, there's  got to be a cutoff age where dressing like an early twenty something has to stop, fucksakes in ten years time he'll be approaching 70. Anyway, it's each to their own and all that but I'd like to think that one of my mates would tap me on the shoulder and tell me to have a word with myself if I ever started dressing like Steve.

[Reverend Minge]

Ol' Brummy Steve is just the kind of person I had in mind when I started this thread. Fucking lost the plot. His peers must look sideways at him and the kids must be laughing their asses off at him.

I bet he thinks he looks cool as fuck though....

[mook]

Ol' Brummy Steve is just the kind of person I had in mind when I started this thread. Fucking lost the plot. His peers must look sideways at him and the kids must be laughing their asses off at him.

I bet he thinks he looks cool as fuck though....

To be honest I think I'm the only one in the pub who finds him ridiculous, perhaps that says more about me than Steve, perhaps I'm old before my time.

He still looks an absolute cock though. I've have got a picture of him from when we went on a day at the races but I doubt if I should post it up though. Not a very nice thing to do is it?

[Virtually Perennially]

I do agree with what you're saying, vicar, but with one specific exception: tarted up middle aged women. Not the ones who are dressed as lamb through blind denial, which is indeed pitiful to behold, but the ones who know they're mutton and just don't care. The ones who know that while lambs are tender, they are also pretty clueless and aimless in their gamboling, and there will always be a market for (mint) saucy mutton. They give me the RFH, so they do.

[Ambient Sheep]

I'm in two minds about it myself.

Me too, although I tend to side with the "just keep wearing it" camp.

He's well into his mid 50's and sports a grey pony tail half way down his back

The thing is...I have 2ft long hair, and am in my late 30s.  It's already starting to get the odd grey streak, which I actually don't mind too much.  If it's all gone grey by the time I'm in my mid-50s, am I suddenly supposed to cut it all off?  Fuck that.

There used to be a Native American looking guy, in his 50s or 60s, round my town with two-foot long solid grey hair, and I thought he looked fabulous.

[Reverend Minge]

The ones who know that while lambs are tender, they are also pretty clueless and aimless in their gamboling, and there will always be a market for (mint) saucy mutton. They give me the RFH, so they do.

Hallelujah to that!

[Ambient Sheep]

The ones who know that while lambs are tender, they are also pretty clueless and aimless in their gamboling, and there will always be a market for (mint) saucy mutton. They give me the RFH, so they do.

Hallelujah to that!

Well you'll both be pleased to know that Freeserve Chat is absolutely *crawling* with the buggers...

[Reverend Minge]

I'm in two minds about it myself.

Me too, although I tend to side with the "just keep wearing it" camp.

He's well into his mid 50's and sports a grey pony tail half way down his back

The thing is...I have 2ft long hair, and am in my late 30s.  It's already starting to get the odd grey streak, which I actually don't mind too much.  If it's all gone grey by the time I'm in my mid-50s, am I suddenly supposed to cut it all off?  Fuck that.

There used to be a Native American looking guy, in his 50s or 60s, round my town with two-foot long solid grey hair, and I thought he looked fabulous.

Don't sweat it, there will ALWAYS be exceptions to the rule, though Brummy Steve mentioned earlier ain't one of them.

A word of caution though, never say never about cutting your hair as you advance in years - that kind of thinking is what produces comb-overs  :-)

[elderford]

Ol' Brummy Steve

We have one here as well in the local pub.

About 50.
completely bald but always covered with one of those foppish Jimmy Osmond stylee denim caps.
grey pony tail about three feet long.
several piercings
denim baggies(with lengthy silver key chain down to his knees)
optional t-shirt with yellow smiley face (over a slackened mid-riff)
grey goatee beard

Fond of the babysitters, always up to some sort of Del Boy failed attempt to sell off of the back of a lorry: perfume, zippos, etc.

I am usually a libertarian where dress is concerned, but all he is missing is the skateboard and it is a tragic display of anti-parent culture from someone who is old enough to have grandchildren.

[butnut]

They give me the RFH, so they do.

They give you the Royal Festival Hall???




Oh, I see. Real fucking Horn.

[Virtually Perennially]

Right fucking horn.


Derek & Clive.

And TJ.

[butnut]

OK. Sorry.

OK ye olde whores - do hangovers get worse at the same rate as you get old? Mine are much worse than they were when I was in my early 20s. By the time I'm in my 30s will they be even worse?

[Reverend Minge]

OK. Sorry.

OK ye olde whores - do hangovers get worse at the same rate as you get old? Mine are much worse than they were when I was in my early 20s. By the time I'm in my 30s will they be even worse?

My hangovers were definitely worse when I was younger - in fact I haven't had a real humdinger for years. This could be down to knowing through experience what drinks get you mullahed without the resultant hangover the next morning.

I remember a particularly bad hangover in my 20s where I was woken up by the radio alarm clock playing Laurie Anderson's "Oh Superman" at full volume and my head was thumping in time to the intro. In fact, at the time I thought it WAS my head making the noise*

*You'll need to have heard "Oh Superman" to understand this by the way

[elderford]

Strangely enough Oh Superman was a lullaby for newborns.

To clarify, the tempo of the "oh oh oh ohs" was based on that a of human heart, the idea being that it would remind the baby of its own mother's when it was still in her womb, ahhhh.

[Reverend Minge]

Strangely enough Oh Superman was a lullaby for newborns.

To clarify, the tempo of the "oh oh oh ohs" was based on that a of human heart, the idea being that it would remind the baby of its own mother's when it was still in her womb, ahhhh.

Still drilled into my brain though.....

[Ambient Sheep]

To clarify, the tempo of the "oh oh oh ohs" was based on that a of human heart

Really?  A bit fast for that, isn't it?

Some DJ once did a lovely parody of it based on the idea that it was a squeaky reel on a reel-to-reel tape recorder.

Lovely story though, Reverend.  Thanks for that.

Hangovers?  They did seem to get worse in my late-20s early-30s, but now they seem better again.  Maybe that's because I never get slaughtered on a weeknight now, so I always get the lie-in to recover.  It is supposed to be a common phenomenon (them getting worse as you get older).

[mook]

Oooh Sheepy, I guess my post about 'ol Brummie Steve was a touch heavy handed. I have no problem with the pony tails at all, I wouldn't want one myself I haven't the face to carry it off, but I can appreciate that on some fellers they do add a little something, it's the whole hiding a forehead as bald as Buddha's belly under a beret that makes me chuckle.

And I totally agree with AY on the RFHness of slightly dubious mutton dressed as lamb woman. Perhaps they're the younger males equivalent of girls appreciation of the stereotypical Jack the Lad slightly dodgy older man? It's either that or I'm developing a fetish for slightly smudged mascara* and the scent of milk stout.


*that's a lovely word to type, go on spoil yourselves have a go.