Should I feel guilty for liking gammon?

[Johnny Foreigner]

Hehe, are you doing the hands?

Sounds like a Teesside accent to me, and disconcertingly akin to the way Chubby Brown speaks.

[itsfredtitmus]

What's all this meff business?

[Icehaven]

I was buying some gammon steaks in Morrison's a few years back but when I scanned them on the self service checkout they kept bringing up an error message. Some staff member came over and took them away to see what was up, then came back and solemnly said they couldn't sell them. I asked why and she just cryptically said there was some "problem" with them and they'd have get rid of the whole batch. Never found out what the mysterious problem was so had to assume they were either poisonous somehow or it was human flesh.

[touchingcloth]

Glue 8 slices of bacon together, and hey presto, a politically correct gammon substitute.

I think the QVC presenter type on Time Trumpet had an episode where he was hawking gammon steaks, and came out with "why not glue several steaks together at the same time? A great substitute for a ham."

[monkfromhavana]

I was buying some gammon steaks in Morrison's a few years back but when I scanned them on the self service checkout they kept bringing up an error message. Some staff member came over and took them away to see what was up, then came back and solemnly said they couldn't sell them. I asked why and she just cryptically said there was some "problem" with them and they'd have get rid of the whole batch. Never found out what the mysterious problem was so had to assume they were either poisonous somehow or it was human flesh.

Soylent Gammon

[SpiderChrist]

No wonder so few pigs post on here.

[monkfromhavana]

No wonder so few pigs post on here.

Blodders taking a break, my fridge is full of pork. Just a coincidence.

[Gurke and Hare]

I was buying some gammon steaks in Morrison's a few years back but when I scanned them on the self service checkout they kept bringing up an error message. Some staff member came over and took them away to see what was up, then came back and solemnly said they couldn't sell them. I asked why and she just cryptically said there was some "problem" with them and they'd have get rid of the whole batch. Never found out what the mysterious problem was so had to assume they were either poisonous somehow or it was human flesh.

A few years back? Would the timescale be right for the possibility that it was horse gammon?

[Chedney Honks]

I'm going for a pub lunch to have the slab of the boiled gammon, boiled peas and a fried egg which is subsequently boiled and some nice hot chips.

[dissolute ocelot]

That does not look like gammon.

[Icehaven]

A few years back? Would the timescale be right for the possibility that it was horse gammon?

No it was a bit more recent than that, although who knows, still could have slipped through. They were smoked too, even better to hide the horsey taste.

[dissolute ocelot]

Thickened with methyl cellulose, a "bulk-forming laxative"; and coloured with iron oxide (rust). What could be more gammon than that?

[touchingcloth]

That does not look like gammon.

I think there are some small giveaways on the box, like "style", "flavour", "vegan" and "meat-free".

[jobotic]

Is haslet still a thing? Haven't eaten meet since I was a teenager but at my grandparents we'd have haslet. Grey, nothing meat but I can still taste it. Like liver at school. What even is it?

[Fr.Bigley]

Love Lincolnshire haslet. Its just fat and fine sausage meat with sage white pepper and other olden time herbage cooked in a bain marie. My old nan used to send me off to school with a couple of Haslemere and pickle sarnies. Halcyon days. She's dead.

[jobotic]

My grandparents lived in Lincolnshire. Holbeach. Haslet, dried flowers and endless flatness. Loved it as a child. Haven't been back since my granddad's funeral. Feeling of relief as soon as a small hill appears on the horizon during the drive home. Imagine living in Iowa or somewhere, it never ends.