A tissue? A tissue? We've all sold out

[Norton Canes]

Headed into town today to do the monthly paper hygiene product shop - bog roll, kitchen roll, tissues - and though the first two were in plentiful supply, big boxes of tissues were nowhere to be seen. Still a few of those decorative little cube-shaped boxes of diaphanously thin tissues, and multi-packs of the little pocket packets, but if you want a big wank have a bad cold and you're after big boxes of robust, absorbent tissues you better get them in quick or be prepared to pay a premium at a non-discount retailer, because they're going fast.

[pigamus]

Same thing happened to me in Asda. They did have them in Wilkos though.

[thenoise]

use bog roll ponce

[pigamus]

He's gone out.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Hoping to see grown men shitting in the street by Friday


Edit, oh, tissues? Who cares

[Tony Tony Tony]

Hoping to see grown men shitting in the street by Friday

I'm sure there are specialist web sites where you can get this craving fully satisfied.

[pigamus]

Most of them were shut down as a mark of respect after Una Stubbs died.

[Mrs Wogans lemon drizzle]

Manged to grab the last pack in Asda after a protracted scuffle with another customer.  Absolute nightmere.  Luckly she was elderly and slow, so I mananged to get the first punch in.

[thenoise]

Hoping to see grown men sniffing in the street by Friday

Nightmare. Is this the world you wanted, Brexiteers?

[Norton Canes]

Kleenexit

[flotemysost]

Poundland had loads of the balsam ones earlier, for the deluxe cold experience.

Or just wipe it on your sleeve.

[Johnny Yesno]

Or your curtains.

[Clatty McCutcheon]

What's wrong with the traditional British method of placing the index finger over one nostril and firing a high-velocity jet of the finest British snot into the bracing British air.

Too many people want to wave the white paper hanky of surrender to Johnny Foreigner.

[Cuellar]

Genuinely can't remember the last time I ussed a 'tissue' for anything at all

[Johnny Yesno]

Or your curtains.

This is the correct spelling of 'your', btw, and not a threat.

[mothman]

You want to experience true deprivation, try finding a cleaner for hire who a) does ironing, and b) will iron my pocket handkerchiefs.[nb]Handkerchieves?[/nb]

[holyzombiejesus]

I use handkerchiefs. Never thought about what a strange word it was until I just typed it. I like having them but they're pretty foul. I had a sneezing fit this morning and you could have wrung it out by the time I finished.

[non capisco]

I use handkerchiefs. Never thought about what a strange word it was until I just typed it.

See also 'napkin'. Fuck off is that a word, sounds like something Glebe's made up.

[mothman]

Handkerchiefs are ridiculous when you think about it. I try not to. I have incredibly sensitive sinuses, hay fever season runs April to September. I'm just not set up to remember to have boxes and packets of tissues available wherever I might find myself.

[Johnny Foreigner]

I have a snuff handkerchief, which I can use for a maximum of two days before it gets too clarty. However, since it's such a chore regularly to wash my one handkerchief, I tend to use Tesco's own brand of paper hankies. My partner buys posh Kleenex or Cushelle, but I say there's nowt wrong with Tesco's own, and them nauseating perfumed ones are not for me, either.

[Johnny Yesno]

See also 'napkin'. Fuck off is that a word, sounds like something Glebe's made up.

Family you sleep with.

[pigamus]

Poundland had loads of the balsam ones earlier, for the deluxe cold experience.

Or just wipe it on your sleeve.

They are good these, to be fair. Saved my poor nose many a time.

[Spode]

These handkerchief snot merchants putting them in the wash when they're finished? Might as well put some used bog roll on a 60 cycle while they're at it.

[Glebe]

It's coz Ledge Gary keeps bulk buying them for wanking.