Older people still living with or going back to live with their parents

[Buelligan]

Left home at 16, was homeless for a few years including a few nights on the streets, but the alternative was probably not being alive any more . There was no way I could have continued living with my parents. Hitch-hiked the length of the UK several times. Almost died several times.

Lucked my way into everything since.

Are you me, Calf?  All of us, my two siblings and myself, left home between the ages of 15 and 17, with nothing (the clothes we stood up in) because the alternative was much, much, darker.

[Fr.Bigley]

Make that three

[TrenterPercenter]

Left home at 16, was homeless for a few years including a few nights on the streets, but the alternative was probably not being alive any more . There was no way I could have continued living with my parents. Hitch-hiked the length of the UK several times. Almost died several times.

I didn't know this about you PC; we've had some similar experiences it seems.  This is where I'm coming from a lot of the time these early experiences in life are not without long lasting consequences; you learn to survive and cope as an adult but it still doesn't undo what has gone on before.  Part of that survival is an emotional game of cat and mouse with memories, this is what we call trauma and the sooner we move the whole conversation about MH to a much better understanding of this the better.

I should also add it is largely (though not always) driven by poverty.

[gib]

Sounds MENTAL but I'd absolutely love living on a barge.

Start a thread, it's an interesting subject.

[TrenterPercenter]

Sounds MENTAL but I'd absolutely love living on a barge.

Why not I've known a few people that do; you need about 30-50k to get one but I don't live far from a load of canals (Birmingham innit) and there are loads of people that live on them and enjoy the lifestyle.

[imitationleather]

You have to be ready to do fuckloads of maintenance and for that reason I'm oot.

Source: One of me best pals lives on one.

[imitationleather]

I like to think everyone is reading that and thinking, "Hang on, I thought I was his best pal but I don't live on a barge. Shit! Oh, wait... No, he said "one of". Phew. Panic over!"

[Dex Sawash]

You can live on a boat pretty cheaply, especially if it isn't your boat. The costs go up quickly if you expect comforts similar to a house.

[H-O-W-L]

The costs go up quickly if you expect comforts similar to a house.

The same goes for anything to be fair. I've considered van life but there's a few comforts of home I couldn't live without.

[Uncle TechTip]

There's someone on the canal near me, lives on a barge and it's moored up, but they appear to have built a small outhouse or wooden sunroom on the bank, with a big window, a comfy chair and some books, that they presumably sit in on occasions. Which seems to go against the portable lifestyle. Surely you can't stay moored on a canal for ever? Do you just pay a fee repeatedly?

[greenman]

Living with them at 39 and can't really foresee moving out.  Even less so now that I'm about to spend 4 figures on teeth!

Just don't see the point in struggling on alone just for the sake of it, and other countries have had multi-generational households for much longer.  Maybe things will be a different story if I meet someone, but that seems unlikely because, well, I'm a nerd living with parents.  They're gamer nerds like me, they're pretty cool, yes there are flaws (the house is a fucking bomb site, can't swing a cat anywhere, no chance of room for full body VR) but it's an arrangement that doesn't have me living in poverty only able to afford to work, eat and sleep.

They're happy to have me there and I'm maintaining a full time job and paying my share (I believe, if not most of it, you know how kind parents can be and I try not to take advantage) so it's only wrong in the eyes of others, like this young woman who was calling me pathetic when she met me drinking with my dad and started asking questions and saying I'd never get a GF (I sure has heck wouldn't want that one, and think I'd want a BF anyway).  Said people can fuck off.

I know it's not always going to be rosy. They're already rather old and not too far from the realms of "elderly" at which point I will end up looking after them and probably having a bit of a struggle.   In the worst case they end up in homes, the house goes, and I'll be too old to get a mortgage and paying silly money to rent for the rest of my life.  But that is a problem for future me.  Got to live for today!

I'm glad it's not quite as heavily frowned upon as in the US.  Christ, if you go on somewhere like SomethingAwful and say you're living with parents into your 40s they'll string you up.

A bit presumptious perhaps but if they want to avoid a situation were there having to sell the house to cover care costs and leave you with nowhere I believe an answer can be tranfering part ownership to you.

[TrenterPercenter]

They're happy to have me there and I'm maintaining a full time job and paying my share (I believe, if not most of it, you know how kind parents can be and I try not to take advantage) so it's only wrong in the eyes of others, like this young woman who was calling me pathetic when she met me drinking with my dad and started asking questions and saying I'd never get a GF (I sure has heck wouldn't want that one, and think I'd want a BF anyway).  Said people can fuck off.

An ex of mine was absolutely mortified when she met my dad once and realised that not only did I not have some rich family behind me; but someone that I had to look after rather than them (as it was with her) me.  These people exist they are people that often come from money but do very little in their lives themselves.  For example this ex worked in admin at a watch factory and I remember her getting very upset when daddy (due to some financial investment that went wrong) stopped giving her the very generous pocket money she had been getting (she was 27 years old) which she seemed to think was incredibly unfair.  A complete snob and utterly ignorant to her own privilege; needless to say I got out this situation pretty quickly after.  Not surprisingly she is now married to a horrid little spoilt rich kid and is completely miserable.

I'm glad it's not quite as heavily frowned upon as in the US.  Christ, if you go on somewhere like SomethingAwful and say you're living with parents into your 40s they'll string you up.

This is changing though; there used to be this idea that this was unusual but now it is becoming pretty normal.

[Blue Jam]

I know two people who have lived on houseboats, one who owned the boat and mooring and the other who was renting a room on a big boat owned by someone else, think there were four people living there. Both loved it at first but after a couple of years they couldn't wait to get back on dry land.

The one who owned the boat herself lived alone and seemed to be having constant issues with generator failures, leaks, bilge pump problems and other maintenance- it was a cool old boat but being old just meant more maintenence. The other one had it a bit easier and it was a really nice, modern boat with less wear and tear to stress over and more people to share the chores but he was constantly getting bitten by mosquitoes. Neither had a lot of space either, you've got to be pretty low-maintenance to enjoy the houseboat lifestyle. High-maintenance homes for low-maintenance people.

The houseboat life sounds romantic but like more trouble than it's worth to me.

[imitationleather]

My pal always sends me pictures of the toilet waste tank when he has to empty it out every few months. If only he could send me a sample of the odour, too.

I prefer the way the toilet stuff works on my land houseboat. My house, if you like.

[Pranet]

Live near a canal and a lot of people who live on barges seem to be pretty big drinkers. Which is an interesting combination. Briefly considered it myself at one point but I'm not particularly practical so I think I would have sunk the thing within a week.

[Blue Jam]

Live near a canal and a lot of people who live on barges seem to be pretty big drinkers. Which is an interesting combination.

I've been informed that living on a barge is a bit like living in a small village because barge communities are just as close-knit and gossipy, even if they're on a canal in the middle of a city. Also a lot of "bargees" are divorced men who can't afford a flat on a single income and buy a barge instead. And drink a lot... which doesn't sound like a wise thing to do when you're surrounded by deep water and need to remember to switch the bilge pump on before you go to bed. The houseboat owner I knew was a single woman in her late twenties and also a borderline alky... Nah, the lifestyle doesn't sound that idyllic to me.

[checkoutgirl]

And drink a lot... which doesn't sound like a wise thing to do when you're surrounded by deep water

Malcolm Hardee died that way. Pissed up on booze on his way home to his barge coming from the pub barge.

[imitationleather]

One of my mum's friends lived in that place. It was more full-on houseboats than barges.

It was full of middle-aged+ men who were total pissheads, it's true.

[Blue Jam]

Yes, they're not as full of young hipsters running floating craft beer taprooms, sustainable food projects and open mic nights as you might expect. Or Pedge from Peep Show.

[TrenterPercenter]

Also a lot of "bargees" are divorced men who can't afford a flat on a single income and buy a barge instead.

Now you mention it there is a lot of middle aged men on the barges I've seen.

[Janie Jones]

Yes, I live near a marina and spend a lot of time cycling or walking/running along towpaths so I can confirm that with the exception of a few new-age trustafarians, boat dwellers are exactly as others have described them here. A high quotient of Brexit gammons, no interest in environmental issues and a lot of territory wars and small-minded hostility to other water and towpath users like swimmers and cyclists.

[imitationleather]

A houseboat is loads more like an actual living room than a barge. Although you are stuck where you are permanently.

[TrenterPercenter]

I actually saw one barge the other day with a suspiciously Reichsadler looking brass eagle on the bow

[Buelligan]

The same goes for anything to be fair. I've considered van life but there's a few comforts of home I couldn't live without.

The biggest one being freedom from harassment from the pigs.  Live in a van for a day or two and you'll find out exactly how big those cunts are.

[chveik]

27. Live with my parents. [...] It's this or the open road.

yeah same. got to hand it to late stage capitalism

[bgmnts]

To be fair you could actually work hard and save like your grandparents did. Just for an extra 400 years or so.

[dr beat]

Malcolm Hardee died that way. Pissed up on booze on his way home to his barge coming from the pub barge.

Vivian Stanshall's experience didn't sound like a good advert for the lifestyle either.

[Shit Good Nose]

Just for an extra 400 years or so.

Not like you to be optimistic!

[Blue Jam]

The same goes for anything to be fair. I've considered van life but there's a few comforts of home I couldn't live without.

IN A VAN DOWN BY THE RIVER?

[mothman]

... With tangerine trees and marmalade skies?