'Enders or Corrie?

[Cerys]

Since a soap discussion is threatening to bubble into life in the Things That Fuck You Off No End thread, I reckon it's time to broach one of the great questions of our time: which soap do you favour?

It's Eastenders for me.  Doom, gloom, inevitable cries of 'wossgarnon?!' - plus occasional directorial wonders and comic counterpoint.  Yay.

[danielreal2k]

I'll throw a spanner in the works and say Eldorado

[Robot Devil]

Bless you for putting in option 4. Eastenders is interesting once every 3 years, and I watch for about a week and a half, then deteriorates into tedium once again - Corrie flits between the amusingly ludicrous (there was some boxing match thing recently that I liked) rarely, and the just annoyingly stupid most of the time. Other soaps, I don't care enough to have an opinion, so yeah.

[dot]

I watch eastender now and again, I watch it on fridays because my friend comes round and he can't function without it. That chrissie bird is yummy. It was supposed to be good on monday when same was clawing dens body out, I didn't see that.

[Ambient Sheep]

You forgot Emmerdale!

Since it's now overtaken Eastenders in the ratings, it'd only be fair.  If I HAD to put up with one of the big three on a regular basis in vision as well as sound, it'd probably be that one, if only because someone on the production team is clearly a deviant.

I'd say edit the poll, but since you can't, perhaps you should hurriedly start a new one and ask for this one to be locked.

Anyway, given the lack of choice, I voted for the "kill 'em all" option.  Hell, I probably would have done anyway.

Really Ces, you've broken my heart.  Poor SNG.

[Ghost of Troubled Joe]

I'd have to say Eastenders- I actually quite like the fact that it's full of doom and gloom and gravelly-voiced Cockernees shouting at each other to "Leave it AAAAAAHHHHHTTTTT!" The acting and writing is generally of a pisspoor standard (same as most soaps), and the whole thing's completely humourless, but I still prefer it to Corrie, which just comes across as quaint and frankly ludicrous most of the time. I never really watch the things but if I have to choose, Eastenders it would be. Mind you, Neighbours has its perks, eh lads? I remember the lesbian schoolgirl storyline with great fondness...

[Cerys]

I'm sorry.  I can't help it - I got sucked into 'Enders and can't escape.  Must know what happens next, etc!

I'll see if I can bung Emmerdale in - hang on.

Edit - no, I can't.  Bah.

Edit again - I could start a new thread including Emmerdale, but then would I have to include Family Affairs and Hollyoaks?  Probably better to leave it as it is, and anyone who wants to extol the virtues of Emmerdale can damn well do it in text.

[Neil]

I can add in Emmerdale if you like, Cerys, give me the line you want added.  It'll likely zero the results though.

For a very long time the only things I watched on telly were Corrie and Letterman.  Then ITV2 ditched Letterman (seems to be the law with UK TV channels).  Corrie is generally superb, but of late it's been going through an absolutely fucking ridiculous phase.  That whole story-line with the fish-napping, for instance...bloody stupid.  I wish they'd axe Les and Cilla, Ches can stay as he out-acts both of them.    Part of why I like Coronation Street so much is some weird thing I have about the North of England.  I love the image of cobbled stones and pigeon lofts, all that stuff.  It's so British, the kind of Britain that I find kind of fascinating and loveable.  One of the reasons I love Victoria Wood so much is she has the same streak running through her comedy.  It's a sort of writing that could only come from this country (obviously).  Flat caps and an old geezer mumbling without removing the tiny cig that's stuck plum in the center of his mouth.   I was more than a tad pissed off when Bradley Walsh and his soap family moved into Coronation Street, with their ridiculously over-the-top ''Ang about gavnaaah lawks a lordy me old china mug, apples and pears apples and pears, supercalifragalisticexpealidocious!!' Cockney accents.

Done, Cerys, and it kept the current totals too, smashing.

[Cerys]

I'd have to say Eastenders ... whole thing's completely humourless....

I beg to differ.  Any soap which can have the annoying weaselly character put Ride of the Valkyries on, very loudly, while the psycho blonde takes a pick-axe to the concrete tomb of Leslie Grantham is far from humourless.

[Cerys]

I can add in Emmerdale if you like, Cerys, give me the line you want added.  It'll likely zero the results though.

Cheers, Neil - I think it'll have to be 'Emmerdale - its broad Yorkshireness and shameless use of sheep make me feel better about myself'.  (Spot the pattern?)

Edit - I put "it's". I'm now going to curl up from sheer embarrassment.

[Ambient Sheep]

I'm sorry.  I can't help it - I got sucked into 'Enders and can't escape.  Must know what happens next, etc!

Ah I see...you don't love it...you're just heavily addicted, like I was about 12 years ago.  Well relax...trust me...this thing CAN be beaten...but first you have to WANT to beat it...etc...

[Cerys]

Nah, I'll just wait for the storylines to lose their pull.  It'll happen.  I just have to wait.  Yes.

[The Mumbler]

The writing staff on Emmerdale appear to be indulging in the sort of games that barristers play, of trying to get unlikely references into a script.  There was a "Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds" reference the other week, which for 7pm on ITV is good going.  And yes, it is quite funny sometimes.

[jannetty]

I don't think Eastenders is as gloomy as it's made out to be. The sight of Jim in his vest never fails to amuse me, and Ian Beale has a few funny moments.

[Cerys]

I like the double act that Jim and Patrick have going; and as for Ian Beale, apart from the 'Ride of the Valkyries' incident, I can't forget Laura calling him 'weasel boy' - quite made my day, that did.  Sad, isn't it?

[Consignia]

Correnation Street has gotten downright surreal lately, starting with last years quiz show. Last week or so, Vera left Jack, and their tennant, Tyrone dressed up like her and started speaking like, not as a joke, it was crazy.

[George]

Stenders has always been a surreal program and  It aint a soap. Rather it's a soup opera, far too navel gazing to represent a 'southern' identity (compared to a definite Corrie northen front). It seems that the greater potential for change is within all soap opera - it's possibly utopian, but it remains a stick on every prime time producer's carrott.</Aqarqa>

[Beagle 2]

Oh Corra all the way. I used to love Enders a few years back, but since Steve Owen burnt down it's got steadily more pathetic, and now I find it unwatchable. Who gives a shit about Kat and Alfie or anything that has happened in it for the last three years? Corra can be genuinely funny, and has the better character actors.

Martin Platt being fired is a disgrace, I could watch him all day. He's the most sarcastic man in the entire world, and his little overacting expressions when somebody else is talking regularly reduces me to hysterics.

Emmerdale's bobbins, but I watch it out of habit now. Bob Hope's good value though.

[Duffy]

I hardly watch soaps now because they're simply on too much. Out of 'Stenders & Corrie, though, I'd go with Corrie because all the gangster shit in EE irritates the hell out of me. I'd prefer Emmerdale over both of 'em though, from what I've seen lately.

One thing I do notice when I dip in nowadays though is that a large proportion of female soap characters under 20 are portrayed as rude, sulky, money-grabbing and manipulative. When did that start happening? Janine?

[gazzyk1ns]

I get addicted to Eastenders regularly, usually it's because I've more-or-less "had to" watch the better episodes at Christmas, because of what the family is doing. As has been said, the addiction wears off easily because eventually it becomes apparent that they need to string things out, so every episode becomes essentially the same. For example, I got addicted to EE at and after Christmas with the whole Den thing, then I lost interest as every episode began and ended with one of the murdering girls saying "If I go down... I'm taking you with me!", or "This is it... I can't cope any more... I'm going to the police!". Now I'm addicted again, I was looking at Radiotimes.com last week and I saw that Den was going to be dug up.

[mikeyg27]

I used to watch Eastenders quite a lot, right up to about the time Grant drove that car into the river. But then also about this time I remembered that I live in the East End, am in fact myself an East Ender as such, and have never really seen any shit like that go on. Petty, I know, but it really bugs me. God, I bet someone from Manchester is going to come on and point out that Corrie isn't that realistic either. Also, Alistair McGowan's Eastenders bits point out many of my other problems with the programme.

Noe Sunset Beach, there's a show... that was shit but I watched it anyway.

Shitty mikey fact of the day: The square that Albert Square is based on is a 5-10 minute walk from my house.

[Ambient Sheep]

The writing staff on Emmerdale appear to be indulging in the sort of games that barristers play, of trying to get unlikely references into a script.  There was a "Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds" reference the other week, which for 7pm on ITV is good going.

Yup, I've noticed a few unlikely references myself (quite aside from the deviant ones), although none I can remember right now.

I feel quite embarrassed now though, cos I made all that fuss over Emmerdale and nobody's voted for it now.  Although I might have done if I could, but obviously I can't now...

[Cerys]

One person's voted for it, so it wasn't a wasted protest.  Even if my bloody annoying typo means that I'm never going to be able to look an apostrophe in the face again.  If you see what I mean.

Has anyone else noticed how Neighbours seems to have evolved into a raunchier satire of itself?

[clareQuilty]

The writing staff on Emmerdale appear to be indulging in the sort of games that barristers play, of trying to get unlikely references into a script.  There was a "Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds" reference the other week, which for 7pm on ITV is good going.  And yes, it is quite funny sometimes.

Sky Mangle in Neighbours is a great one for that. Recent name drops have included Todd Solondoz and U.K hip-hop acts Ty and Roots Manuva.
Good work.

[Cerys]

Plus the sudden inclusion of fantasy gaming - complete with Lou in Dungeon Master cloak.  Now that was surreal!

[dot]

Sky Mangle

There's another one for the band name thread

[Neville Chamberlain]

Sorry, but it's Brookside all the way.

The best soap there ever was, by many millions of miles. The Trevor Jordache episode is something I will never forget. Disturbing, weird, nastty, but brilliantlly acted.

And no I'm not taking the piss.

[The Duck Man]

Sky Mangle in Neighbours is a great one for that. Recent name drops have included Todd Solondoz and U.K hip-hop acts Ty and Roots Manuva.

*shudders with delight*

Anyway, I'm obviously a Neighbours man. Best soap by a mile, not too depressing, fairly silly. Hollyoaks obviously wants to be Neighbours but fails miserabley by a) not employing people who can act b) having hugely uninteresting stories both trivial and depressing c) being set in the UK. Neighbours is great because it's Australian.

I do follow Eastenders, both my Mum and sister watch it so I catch about a quarter of it each week, enough to know what's going on.

[El Unicornio, mang]

That's one thing I always liked about Neighbours, it had hot chicks and it was sunny and cheerful and totally unrealistic. I recall cracking off a few to Lucy Robinson when I was a young lad...

[lankinpark]

Anyway, I'm obviously a Neighbours man. Best soap by a mile, not too depressing, fairly silly.

Neighbours is wonderful. Everything a TV programme should be.

Of the UK soaps, EastEnders gets my vote. Yeah, it has its faults, but when it gets it right it's damn near perfect. This week's been great. And I resent the age-old accusation that it's all doom and gloom. There's as much humour as Corrie, it's just not accompanied by Les Battersby gurning.

I loathe Corrie. There are various reasons for this, but it's mostly the OTT humour. At least fifty percent of the regular characters (including, but not limited to, Les Battersby, that Scouse bird of his, idiot boy from the Royle Family, Jack, Vera, Tyrone, and that bloody Norris one) are appalling performers who do nothing but commit crimes against comedy and look smug about it. I also hate the attitude it has towards long-running characters ("But she doesn't need to be interesting; she's been in the show thrity-five years"), and the fact that oh-so-daring "serial killer" Richard Hillman conveniently failed to murder anyone important, even though they were the only people he had any reason to kill. I hate the way all the villains conveniently bring about their own deaths because it might be morally dubious to have a "good" character do it. I hate the fact that it ran for forty years without a single gay character (and nearly twenty of those years after EastEnders had broken that particular taboo, so there's not even the excuse that it might be controversial). I hate the fact that none of the audience seem to mind that Kevin and Sally have had the same storyline once a year for the last god knows how long, and only seem to still be in the show because their daughter is played by a competent actress. I hate the whole cosy, nostalgic attitude of the show. I hate the fact that when it belatedly tried to adapt to the new style of soap that EE and Brookie pioneered, the viewers demanded that it stop being interesting and go back to stories about Norris thinking the shop is haunted or Fred Elliott proposing to an inappropriate woman. I hate the fact that nearly every story has a happy ending, because it sucks away the tension removes the point of having a story in the first place. I hate the way the writers commit occasional acts of injustice against characters and then cynically manipulate their audience into protesting about it in the tabloids. Free Deirdre! As if there was a chance of her rotting in prison. I hate the way the cast whore themselves out to every ITV variety-style "family" entertainment show. I hate the way everyone thinks that little ginger kid with the dog is talented just because he's a little ginger kid. Most of all, I HATE JULIE FUCKING GOODYEAR.

I like Eileen Grimshaw, though. She's good.