The Chosen Ones: Animated Series Outline

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My animated series concept, as pitched to Adult Swim. I don't really expect them to care, but I like this series and might try doing a pilot animatic or something.



Buying groceries. Sharing an apartment. Saving the world from intergalactic war.

It's not easy being twentysomething these days.


The CHOSEN ONES

A sitcom.



(Juliet and Cody)


Cody and Juliet share an apartment, though they're not going out or anything. Rex lives next door, but he's not just their weirdo neighbor – he is also an extraterrestrial crimefighter, saving the world from evil aliens, who are hiding everywhere. So they're now hanging out with an alien, a robot, and a woman who seems to think she's a cat. They watch TV and save the world on a regular basis.

(Alternate titles: Apartment Galactica, Generation of Filth)




Why this series?

First of all, I tried to give this series all the ingredients of both a cult-favorite sci-fi series and a classic sitcom, to give it the flair of a cult hit. More importantly, as a twentysomething, I've long felt that there aren't enough TV shows that really speak to young people (17-30), and relate to what they go through. Futurama and Family Guy have been among the few, containing just the right kind of pop culture references for that generation. But there have been British shows like Spaced and The Young Ones that have captured the era quite well, and become big hits over there. I feel that if you create a series that is smarter than your average sitcom, funny and full of cult sci-fi humor, but most importantly being all about what twentysomethings actually go through, you will have the perfect cult hit.

The idea is to do something with a quick pace and rapid-fire stream of gags, in a standard sitcom setting, but really based around the characters, at the core of everything. The series will also have sequences that look more like a comic book film ... rather like the Batman films and cartoons. Action sequences involving aliens lend an exciting climax to the comedy in most episodes.



Pilot Episode Plot

The world is under secret attack. Alien beings are hiding everywhere, their only thought to destroy life on earth as we know it. And Rex Roper is the only man who can stop them.



But that's not important yet. Meanwhile:


Cody, a young geek, has lost his job, and his parents have finally kicked him out of the basement he's been living in all his life. He finds himself homeless, filthy, and out on the street. He meets a poet/singer, Juliet (or Razor), who is pretending to be homeless to find out what it's like. Cody and Juliet have only been talking for five minutes, and haven't particularly hit it off (actually Cody is convinced she hates him), when suddenly Juliet suggests they get married. Cody, having nothing better to do, agrees. The two don't actually get married legally, but they become good friends and do some stupid shit together. (She says it's good to be "married" to someone just in case she ends up old and alone someday. Like having a spare tire.) Then Juliet goes off on a date, leaving Cody behind. He gets depressed, but when she comes back (from the unsuccessful date), she has another impulse: since both of them need apartments, they move in together.



They quickly realize that there is something strange about their apartment building. There may be strange creatures or aliens or ... something all around. Then they meet Rex - and that's the strangest experience of all. Rex, who lives in the apartment opposite them, is a paranormal crimefighter. He is incredibly wealthy, and a genius with access to technology from all across the universe, but he lives in a crappy apartment "because that's the last thing they'd suspect." His apartment is like the batcave - with a huge computer database of non-human criminals living on the planet. It's his job to protect earth from evil supernatural, extraterrestrial, paranormal and mutant beings. And he likes doing it.

They are afraid of Rex at first, but he soon becomes their friend and often pops into their apartment. (Cody and Juliet's apartment is where most of the action takes place, a la any standard sitcom.)

They also meet one of Rex's creations, a small robot named Lionel. Lionel is slightly rebellious and doesn't get along well with his "father," Rex ... and in later episodes comes to live with Cody and Juliet.



They also meet Jefferson, a grey alien in a white suit. Calm and intelligent with a dry wit, Jefferson is Rex's best friend, and was the one who showed Rex that there were aliens and other beings living on earth, and helped train him to fight them. Jefferson has shared some of his and other planets' advanced technology with Rex, and shares some of it with Cody and Juliet to make their lives easier ... but he avoids sharing more than a little bit of it, because he doesn't think humans are smart enough to use really advanced technology without destroying it and using it for evil. Cody, Juliet and Rex prove him right whenever he unveils a new "toy" for them to use ... and promptly use it destructively.

Jefferson is lonely and spends much of his time trying to get a date with an earth woman. He finds he usually scares them away, and he has to use that Men in Black memory eraser thing ™.

Throughout the series, Cody and Juliet remain just good friends. They both go out on dates with various people ... although there is very slight sexual tension between them, so that they do get jealous when the other has a steady girl/boyfriend. It's pretty clear that whatever happens, Juliet is going to be the most important female in Cody's life, and vice versa.

There is also some sexual tension between Juliet and Rex, mostly early on.



Juliet's best friend (shown quickly in episode 1 but not introduced until episode 3) is Rowena. There is something strange about Rowena. She is a hyper-intelligent businesswoman and environmental crusader. But she is leading some sort of double life. When she meets Rex, she stands back and hisses eerily. He recognizes her, of course. They are arch-nemeses. But there is also sexual tension between them. She is human, but genetically engineered for extra agility and strength - a mutant. They have a long history. She is the Catwoman to his Batman. They get along when she's doing good, but not when she's doing evil.

Cody falls for her immediately, in a pathetic way. She has no interest whatsoever in him ... he is the ... er, little mouseman to her Catwoman.

As the series goes on, Cody and Juliet will have to help Rex out in his efforts to clean up the city, and will actually do some heroic things.

On one of these occasions, Cody will do something impressive enough that Rowena actually takes notice of him, and they will wind up going out for some time, which will make Rex and Juliet very very unhappy.

On a similar note, plenty of Juliet's dates will turn out to be supervillains.

Oh, and in the season finale, there's something about a prophecy ... are Cody and Juliet not just ordinary geeks, but rather the Chosen Ones?



The Characters -

Cody - Insecure, neurotic struggling writer/painter/wannabe detective ... Very messy but ironically also a neat freak. A romantic, but clueless about women. A sci-fi geek. Impulsive, when he gets a creative urge he'll seize on it until he's lost interest. A really nice guy at heart. Pretty intense and rarely as boring as he looks. He's a little bit pathetic, but then so was Luke Skywalker in the first film, and he still saved the universe, so maybe Cody has a chance. His other goal is to be a famous game show host. Or something. (Alternate names: Colby, Simon, Alvin, Peter, Ernie)




Juliet Hamilton (Razor) – An introverted poet, artist, photographer and singer. Not a very good one. This could make her a bit pretentious except that she is insecure and mostly lacks ego. She avoids people, supposedly because she thinks the general public are sheep and idiots, but also because beneath the fake bravado she's terminally shy. She is also impulsive, and does whatever the hell she wants when the mood strikes her - which is why she proposed marriage to Cody within five minutes of meeting him on the street. She has wondered all her life why she keeps going out with such freaks of nature - wondering if the guys she's gone out with are really human. As it turns out ... some of them weren't.



Rex Roper - He fills the wacky neighbor role, but is also the hero of the series. Eccentric millionaire playboy genius, and earth's only hope against invasion by depraved and bizarre creatures. Don't worry - he's smarter and stronger than he looks. For this character, imagine Bruce Wayne combined with Kramer. Doing Fox Mulder's job. His apartment looks small and normal from the outside, but when you enter it, it's this huge expansive fortress and mansion. Which is pretty weird really. It was created with Jefferson's help to be bigger on the inside than it is on the outside. He has a supercomputer a la the Batcave and lots of crazy technology, cool stuff and goodies - sentimental mementos of his battles with aliens and mutants outside the law. (Alternate names: Hal, Nick, Clark)



Jefferson - A grey alien with a theatrical attitude. Rex's best friend, they met many years ago and Jefferson showed Rex that there were aliens and mutants on the planet earth, and showed him how to fight them. He becomes friends with Cody, even though Cody is at first racist against aliens, because both have something in common - they're both pathetic at attracting earth women. Cody, Juliet and Rex all try to set Jefferson up on dates. Jefferson's attempts at picking up women usually just result in him wiping the woman's memory after she rejects him ... (or he rejects her for being weird and not his type) ... and her waking up with half-memories of an alien abduction. We find out in a later episode, when Jefferson's family comes to visit, that Jefferson is insecure about his intelligence - by the standards of his planet he's actually an idiot. But on earth he's a genius, because he can show off the knowledge of what every idiot on his planet knows ... rather like Kal-El coming to earth and suddenly being a Superman. Well, he wants to come to earth and be thought of as a genius. If Rex/Cody/Juliet ask nicely, Jefferson might help them out by sharing some of his (or some other) planet's advanced technology ... so Jefferson seems like a wacky inventor in some ways (even though none of the inventions are actually his) ... he is very good at repairing and creating spaceships, electronics, that sort of thing. On his planet he was the equivalent of an auto mechanic with a high school education. Do NOT bring this up around him. It's supposed to be a secret.

Lionel B-4 - Built by Rex. The apartment's helpful little robot. Nerdy even by robot standards. Generally sweet like a family pet. But has a bit of an attitude, like a teenage son. Rebels against his "father," Rex, in episode 2 or 3. Spends more and more time at Cody and Juliet's, until he becomes their robot. Well, his own robot. He is an independent robot. Yes, that's it.



Rowena - Juliet's best friend. Rex's former lover and worst enemy. Beautiful, successful, talented, brilliant, wealthy, ambitious law student, businesswoman and environmental crusader, Rowena Lovett comes from a wealthy family and seems to have the world on a string, with everything going for her. But she's leading a double life. Kidnapped by Canadian Nazi scientists in the 1980s, her genes were altered. She was given super strength, super agility, and an indestructible iron skeleton. (Which makes her magnetic, to her annoyance. She sticks to refrigerators, and magnets stick to her.) She was brainwashed and trained to do evil, for some big faceless corporation and a bunch of evil aliens - an experience so convoluted and unbelievable that she has chosen not to clearly remember it. She escaped, and returned to her normal life, but ever since then she has been fighting evil aliens and mutants, and trying to prevent evil corporations from destroying the environment. She met Rex some time ago, and they realized that they were both doing the same thing - fighting paranormal crime. But her methods have a dark side, and she will steal, kill and commit crimes to help fund her work, and do what she thinks is right. Rex doesn't approve of her methods, and calls her a criminal too. But of course he was (is?) in love with her, and all their arguments and fights to the death have a sexual tension about them. Clearly, she and Rex are either going to kill each other, or have a lot of sex and get married, or both. Probably both. Cody finds her very attractive. She finds Cody pathetic and not worth paying any attention to whatsoever, but after Cody shows a little bit of heroism (the only thing Rowena finds attractive) they wind up going out, unexpectedly, in episodes 6-8 or so. (Alternate names: Lenora, Athena, Cassandra)



("Counter girl" - minor guest star character)


Selected Episode Plotlines:

Think plotlines which use some sci-fi ideas to really throw into contrast the characters' different personalities, insecurities, and quirks - make them as clear and clashing (and interesting) as possible - and comment on real obsessions in our society. Or just dumb little things .... the little niggling details of everyday life. Much as Seinfeld did.



Groundhog Night – The date is February 2nd. Jefferson is going out with an alien girl named Alena, but he screws up their first date horribly and she loses all interest in him. He really likes her and can't bear to let her go. So Jefferson wipes her memory clean with his little flashy device, and tries again the next night. He screws up again, and tries again, and again. Cody and Juliet have been watching all this on Rex's computer, and Juliet becomes very angry and concerned, that Jefferson is just using Alena, trying to control her, not letting her make her own decisions. But Jefferson does love Alena.

Juliet enlists Cody to stop Jefferson, to let the next date be the last one and let Alena go. Cody has to steal Jefferson's memory device. But Cody is conflicted. He feels like he's betraying his friend. Giving in to his darker nature, Cody can't help but wonder – what if he had a second chance with a girl he let get away? Rex feeling the same, thinking, what if he had a second chance with Rowena? Cody wonders what he could say to Juliet if he knew he could wipe it away if it went awry. He always wondered if they could be a couple, but didn't want to screw up their friendship ... what if?

Cody takes the memory device ... ready to tell Juliet how he feels. But he can't. He'd rather not know, either way. He destroys the memory device instead. And Jefferson goes out on his date without it. Alena leaves Jefferson one last time, and Jefferson is heartbroken. Cody comforts Jefferson, saying some things just weren't meant to be. The one that you really want to end up with, you'll get without tricks or devices of any kind. Anyway, there's a better way to erase a painful memory - they all drink quite a lot of beers, and pass out happily.

Robot Without a Cause – Lionel is becoming increasingly unhappy, living at Rex's place. He acts like a sullen teenager, rebelling, and trying to be cool. Unexpectedly he runs away, with Jefferson's help, and leaves the planet. Cody, Juliet, Rex, Jefferson and Rowena have to leave Earth to try and find him. It turns out that Lionel has used what savings he has to enroll in a robot college on another planet. Which is good that he's finally making something of himself, but he is miserable there too. He's a robonerd, picked on and beat up mercilessly by the other robots. Cody and Juliet have to help Lionel impress his classmates and actually learn how to seem cool, which neither of them have any idea how to accomplish, as they're nerds themselves.

Meanwhile, love is in the air as Jefferson has fallen for a robot woman named Claire, and Rex and Rowena strike some sparks remembering what their own college days were like. Lionel's attempts to seem cool are a horrible failure as always, but he makes friends with other "robonerds" like himself and realizes that he's happier just being himself. Which is a painfully obvious and sappy moral, but there it is. Claire and Jefferson have a "Romeo and Juliet" thing where her parents won't let her, a robot, date an alien man. She breaks Jefferson's heart, but secretly will love him forever. Due to the speed of computer processing, Lionel graduates in a week and everyone returns home. But first – a frat party!



Meat the Parents – Jefferson's parents arrive from a distant galaxy, and utterly embarrass him. On this planet, with his knowledge of alien technology, Jefferson is a genius, but on his home planet he's an idiot, and socially inept, and his parents being there brings it all back. They are high-class and wealthy, and to them he was am embarrassment, unlike his golden-boy older brother Zurl (who is also there for a visit – handsome, intelligent, perfect). Depressed, Jefferson starts to revert to type and act stupid and slovenly. Meanwhile, Juliet's mother is in town, which is a huge headache for Juliet, as her mother disapproves of everything she's doing. She tells Juliet she smells like a boy, and will never get a man unless she fixes herself up. She hates the apartment, and takes a huge dislike to Cody, who is utterly terrified of her. (Strangely, she likes Rex and is attracted to him.) Worse still, they have to hide every trace of alien equipment and any hint of what they do, so Jefferson and Lionel hide at Rex's place, and there are many near-screwups where Juliet's mother almost sees something she oughtn't.

We learn a few things about Cody and Rex's parents as well, though we don't see them, and Lionel works through some issues with his "father," Rex. To complicate things further, an insane genius calling himself Dr. Sausage has figured out a way to reanimate dead non-human meat. So the city is under attack by living hamburgers, slabs of beef, pork, and chicken. And Juliet's mother winds up right in the middle of it, seeing Jefferson and Lionel and ... everything. She is terrified. (But learns to appreciate Cody.) Zurl gets beaten down by a chicken and runs away like a, well, chicken. Jefferson saves the day, and actually impresses his parents, who concede that he might not be so dumb after all. Juliet's mother is shell-shocked. Rex wipes her memory and sends her away. Juliet has a small breakdown, and Cody consoles her, saying everyone has problems with their parents, that's how we become who we are. We look at our parents, and some part of us is just like them, and part of us goes the other way. He says, I'm glad you went the other way. Juliet and her mother reconcile a bit as she's leaving, and she promises to come back soon. Juliet shudders. Jefferson's parents like Cody and Juliet, and tell them they should visit sometime. The last shot is of Cody, Juliet and Rex visiting Jefferson's planet. It has a purple sky and is a hollow desert. Cody: "This place sucks." The end.

The Size of Things - After Rex has been missing for a while, everyone is shocked to find Rex's head in his apartment - just his head, still alive but without a body. Rex is bewildered by this too. It's another of Jefferson's technologies gone awry - a device which can shrink or expand the parts of the body, stolen by an evil and pathetic little man with some body issues, who wants to make himself more attractive to women. They must get the device back and get Rex back to normal ... but they're tempted to use it themselves. Is bigger better? Or should we just be happy with what we've got? The subtle innuendo all over this episode will get us in trouble with the censors. In a highly amusing way.



Look Out, There's a Monster Coming – It's Halloween. With everyone in costume, Jefferson can actually walk the streets. This is the one day of the year where he feels free to do anything he wants. They go to a Karaoke bar, and everyone sings, but Jefferson really goes all-out. He secretly loves to perform. A filmmaker spots him, and talks to him about his "costume." He's quite impressed with it, and would like to use him as a monster in his film. Despite the protestations of Rex, Jefferson pretends that yes, he is wearing a costume, and he becomes part of the film.

Cody, Juliet, Rex and Rowena visit the set. The leading lady turns out to be a woman named Naomi who was Rowena's rival in high school theater, and Rowena, very angry and jealous, tries to make Naomi sick or injured, and seduce the casting director so she can take over the role. But she keeps on damaging only herself, and making things worse. Meanwhile, Jefferson is in heaven – this is a dream come true for him. Naomi actually finds hrself attracted to Jefferson, and wants to see what he looks like under the "mask." Which makes Jefferson nervous, but he tries to play along. He tries to see if Rex can make him a human-looking mask, which looks really pathetic. Juliet tries to convince him that if he likes this girl, he should tell her who and what he actually is. But of course he can't. Meanwhile, Juliet has a big crush on the leading actor, Chad, which makes Cody incredibly jealous. He wonders if Rowena can "take care" of Chad too. But when Chad hits on Juliet, he turns out to be a slimy sleazeball. She loses interest fast.

On the set, the director is unhappy with Jefferson's constant comments about the script. Jefferson thinks the script is racist against aliens, portraying them simply as evil monsters who want to take over the world. He tries to stand up for aliens as peaceful people just like anyone else. The director can't take it anymore and fires him. Naomi says that if Jefferson quits, she'll quit too. The director says fine, and fires them both. He'll finish the movie without them. Rowena, crawling battered out of a ditch after her last attempt to destroy Naomi, hears this and perks up – finally, it's her big chance! Finally, she'll get to upstage Naomi onscreen! She cleans herself up and comes up to the director, saying she'll play the role. He asks if she'll do it for free. She says yes. He says, okay, you've got the part – we'll finish the movie with you as the lead. So they shoot one shot – Chad coming up with a shotgun and saying "That's it. The monster is dead." And the director says, "Cut, great, we're finished, that's a wrap everyone." Rowena seethes with rage.

A couple months later, they all see the movie at the theater. You kind of see a bit of Rowena's sleeve, in the shot, from the back. Rowena jumps up and cheers and asks everyone to tell her how great she was. Rex tells her yeah, her sleeve was really good, in that one shot. Cody bugs Juliet about Chad, and she tells him to shut up. In the back of the theater, Jefferson and Naomi are making out. She asks him when he's going to take off the mask. He says, soon, I'll take it off soon. But come on, you like the mask, admit it. She looks annoyed. "Seriously," she says, "Take off the mask." The end.

Million Dollar Robot Baby – Cody and Lionel have been watching Robot Wars on TV. Lionel wants desperately to be on the show – he is much more advanced than any of the cheap little buckets of bolts he sees there, they're just remote controlled cars with axes attached. He figures he can get in the ring and outsmart them, defeating them easily. Rex is not easily convinced. Lionel is his creation, and he doesn't want to see him hurt. But Lionel will not be dissuaded. He starts training, Rocky-style, for Robot Wars! With Rex busy, Jefferson and Cody have to take over the monitoring of extraterrestrial crime in the vicinity. Rowena and Juliet are certain they will screw everything up horribly, but Cody and Jefferson are enjoying this, and don't want any help or smart remarks. Nonetheless, secretly Rowena and Juliet watch them, ready to actually fight the aliens if any show up.

Cody and Jefferson make an utter mess of the Rexcave, and screw everything up, getting soda and chips all over the computer. But a known alien criminal, Duhurr the Stupidly Indestructible, has been located, and Cody and Jefferson spring into action. So does Rowena, secretly trailing them at high speed, jumping over rooftops with her extreme agility and strength. Juliet just takes the car. A spectacular fight ensues, and Rowena is ready to jump in and save the boys at any moment, but Cody actually manages to take care of himself. Jefferson gets beat a little bit, but with the right weapons Cody blasts the hell out of Duhurr and then takes him on in hand-to-hand combat. As he does so, he gets a primal adrenaline rush, enjoying the fight. (Think Fight Club.) Duhurr tears his shirt. Rowena stares, shocked. For the first time she actually finds Cody attractive. Juliet is equally shocked – although also a bit disgusted. Duhurr teleports away in fear. Cody has won. Rowena and Juliet reveal themselves. Rowena asks Cody out on a date. Cody is shocked. Juliet grumbles. She doesn't like Cody going out with Rowena at all, although she's not entirely sure why.

Meanwhile, Rex and Lionel go to a Robot Wars taping, and meet the host, Craig Charles. Rex winces in pain as he sees the robots utterly destroy each other. He tries to talk Lionel out of it. But Lionel's metal heart is set. Elsewhere, Cody and Rowena go out on a date. It's weird, they're very different people. But amusingly so. They seem to both be enjoying it anyway. At home, Juliet fumes and grumbles and complains and whines and moans. Jefferson questions why she's so mad. She finds a million reasons why Cody and Rowena won't work, but even she can't quite put a finger on why she's so angry. Not because she likes Cody at all, in that way. Oh no. Never. Cody screws up everything on his date, fumbling and making an utter idiot of himself, but Rowena isn't being picky – things still go all right. At the end of the night, they wind up sleeping together. He goes back to his apartment with a huge grin on his face. He says nothing. Juliet just stares in fear. And then screams "NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Back at Robot Wars, it's time for Lionel's big fight. His opponent is a huge and terrifying mass of rotating blades and impending death. It's called the Disintegrizer. It's never been defeated, and it's crushed each one of its opponents into tiny, tiny bits. Now, Lionel feels utter fear. Trapped in the ring, he tries to escape as the crowd just cheers them on. He tries to run, but there's no way to escape it ... he gets pulverized. Rex screams "NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Lionel is in pieces, put into a little cardboard box and taken home. Jefferson and Rex set up a little hospital type bed in the Rexcave, and Cody and Juliet visit Lionel in his bed. He's pulverized, paralyzed, destroyed. But at least he got his shot. He was on Robot Wars. He was a star. Rex asks Jefferson if he can fix him. Jefferson says, he's destroyed, Rex. There's nothing left that works. I can fix him, but it'll cost a million dollars. Rex screams "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" He then hands Jefferson a check for one million dollars, saying "You complete and utter bastard." Jefferson smiles and pockets the check. Cody asks him what he's going to spend the money on. Jefferson says, booze and alien hookers. They high-five. Cody says, "I hope I'm invited to THAT party." There is a long pause. "You complete and utter bastard," Cody says, as he walks away dejected.

Now, there is one very big loose end to this story, the Rowena and Cody relationship. We could continue this for one more episode, but at some point Rowena is simply going to ditch Cody for a better looking guy. If we decide to end this early, here's the ending – Rowena tells Cody the bad news. She's met someone else. She walks in with Robot Wars host Craig Charles. Cody says, "I bow to my superior." Craig Charles nods. "Oh well," says Cody, "it was fun while it lasted. I enjoyed doing it, and I hope we can do it again sometime." "Keep dreaming," says Rowena, as she walks away. "I will," says Cody with a smile. He walks away dreaming. A quick flashback to Cody and Rowena in bed together. Then back to reality – Juliet shudders and grimaces at the thought. Ew. The end.



   
Un Recherce De Temps Perdu – An alien super-general (The Evil "Bob"), seeking to destroy the world, lands in Times Square armed with the ultimate weapon – a weapon that can obliterate portions of time itself. If aimed properly at the earth, he could obliterate the earth in a way that it would never have existed, having been destroyed all the way back to the beginning of time. He recites a long, long list of all the things that are wrong with the planet earth, from the Holocaust to the character of Steve Urkel. This takes an immensely long time. Rex has time to drive in to try and stop him, even in a malfunctioning, crappy car which keeps breaking down so he, Jefferson and Rowena have to keep pushing it. (He has taken Rowena along so that he can impress her by destroying Bob, but this part isn't very impressive.) Cody and Juliet take Juliet's VW Bug and arrive earlier. Rex finally arrives as Bob is finishing his list, and shoots the hell out of him, but his blasts just bounce off the spaceship, the general and his weapon. Bob laughs, and readies his weapon.

The entire world has to deal with the end of the world. People weep and pray, Cody confesses romantic feelings to Juliet, and Rex confesses romantic feelings to Rowena. The general fires his weapon, and bam – it backfires back on the general, and the general and his ship are erased from ever having existed. The entire world won't even remember that an alien ever landed and threatened them. Even our main characters are forgetting. Juliet asks Cody, did you really mean those things you said? Cody says, what things? Juliet – I can't remember. We see bubbles appearing everywhere, large rainbow-edged bubbles in reality that grow smaller slowly and then pop. Jefferson figures out that the weapon was set to destroy the entire earth, so it was on a very high setting – these are the side effects. Little bubbles of an alternate reality that will appear and be forgotten about in a matter of days. So, anyone can step into these bubbles, and whatever they do in that bubble has no consequences in the real reality. Jefferson demonstrates this by shooting Rex. He dies horribly, then Jefferson pops the bubble and he's fine. Although very annoyed at Jefferson. Cody can't stop thinking about it ... what if nothing you did had any consequences?

He walks into a bubble. We hear a zap and a scream. He walks out calmly, his hair smoking a bit, saying, hmm, so that's what being electrocuted feels like. (He adds: It hurts a lot.) In some of the big bubbles, you don't even remember what you've done afterward. So Rex and Rowena agree to have sex in the bubble, as long as both agree that this never actually happened and they both just forget about it afterward. Rowena also takes up eating. Like, constant, binging eating, because she won't gain weight later. She becomes a bit chubby, in the bubble. Juliet tells off some of the people who made fun of her in school. Lionel develops an attitude and tells off EVERYONE.

Jefferson runs out into the streets frightening children. But they aren't frightened and actually like him, and he entertains them with stories. Jefferson now talks to the news in the bubble reality, admits he's an alien. He becomes a celebrity, does interviews, becomes hugely famous, does stand-up comedy, even has his own talk show. Government agents are lurking – they want to capture and study him, but he's too famous to abduct. Then the "other" Jefferson shows up, the one who actually comes from the bubble reality. A lurking government agent sees that there are two of them. Our Jefferson is then kidnapped and dissected by the government. He barely escapes the bubble, screaming all the way.

And Cody – Cody is going to tell Juliet he loves her. Just to see what would happen. But he can't quite think of what to say. He runs into the other version of himself, and talks to himself. It gets pretty confusing. They talk about Juliet a bit, and our Cody accidentally convinces the bubble Cody to tell Juliet how he feels, too. The bubble version of Juliet sees both Codys and gets confused. They both try to talk to her. It's a mess. Finally our Cody gives up and leaves, letting the bubble Cody to talk to the bubble Juliet. He tries to listen in on what her reaction is, but is surprised by the real Juliet tapping his shoulder. He turns around, scared, and doesn't hear the conversation. He asks her what she's been doing. She says she went to talk to a guy she always liked. But he didn't like her back. "What happened with you?" she asks. "Oh," says Cody, "Pretty much the same thing." Juliet: "And now you're coming here because you want to meet yourself?" Cody: "Been there, done that. It's not a good idea. I've met myself already. We don't get along." But Juliet really wants to meet herself. Cody gets nervous and stands in her way, tries to stop her. He says it's like Back to the Future, if you meet yourself you could destroy the entire space-time continuum. "Oh, shut up," Juliet says, and opens the door. So now both Codys and both Juliets are looking at each other. There's an awkward silence, and Cody asks the other Cody "How did it go?" Our Juliet: "How did what go?" Bubble Cody: "I'm not sure I should tell you that." Our Cody: "Please, you've got to tell me something." Bubble Juliet: "We're still figuring things out. And so are you. Be grateful for what you have. If it works, hang on to it. You'll miss it if it's gone." Cody nods. Then both Juliets hug and talk happily to each other. Both Codys shake their heads and just say "women."

Some time has passed and the bubbles are closing now. Rex and Rowena have been just sleeping together (and Rowena eating) this entire time. Rowena is chubby now, but Rex doesn't complain much. They have enjoyed it, and don't want to leave the bubble. It's a bittersweet goodbye, because they won't remember a thing, and when they're out of the bubble they'll hate each other again. Rowena asks Rex to remember just one word - Pimento. If they can both remember that one meaningless word, then this will all have meant something. The bubbles close. It's all over. Everyone is out on the street together. Juliet asks Cody what that was all about back in the bubble. "The thing the other me said, what did that mean?" Cody says: "I have no idea. I think it was poetry. I never did understand your poetry." Juliet: "You're such a horrible liar." Cody: "Yeah. You wanna go get an ice cream smoothie?" Juliet: "Sure!" And they all go out to get smoothies. As they're walking away, both Rowena and Rex suddenly shout "Pimento!" Rex: Why did you say Pimento? Rowena: "I don't freakin' know, why did YOU say Pimento?" Rex: "I don't know, you evil cow, that's why I was asking you." Rowena: "Shut up, you stupid idiot jerkhole fatbag." The final shot is of a little Rex and Rowena in a little bubble, together in love. The bubble floats away. The end.

You Oughtta Be in Pictures – Rex's current obsession? Sending ham forward into the future. Why? "Because," he says, "I'm not hungry for ham now, but I know I will be at some point in the future." Cody: "Well, why not go to the store and buy ham then?" Rex frowns. Rex: "You, sir, do not understand the art of science." In fact, Rex has figured out how to send ham a fraction of a second into the future, by accelerating all the atoms in the ham. (The ham appears to disappear and then reappear.) But when he tries to send the ham forward more than that – BOOM. Exploding ham. Rex and Cody wind up with ham all over their faces. Which is quite tasty actually. Cody: "Mm, ham on my face."

Jefferson also has a time obsession. He wants to develop a camera that can capture a four-dimensional picture, actually capture a moment in time, living and breathing. He's certain that time, like light, operates as a wave and as a particle. That a scrap of time is an object, that could be collected, except that we're surrounded by time all the time, so we can't stand outside the construct of time to collect bits of it. If we were pandimensional godlike beings, we could "see" time as a stream. He's created a device to try and capture bits of time. For example – he coughs into a microphone, and then plays it back. He says, see, I've captured that moment in time. Cody is unimpressed. You can do that with an ordinary tape recorder, Cody says. Jefferson looks depressed. Rex says that's stupid, that's parlor games rather than real science, and then gets back to working on his ham. Meanwhile, Juliet is throwing out some old photographs. It's a way of selectively editing her life so she doesn't have to remember all the crappy parts. She smiles at one photo, of a young man. Rowena asks who the man is. Juliet says, just an old friend I haven't seen in a long, long time. She smiles but throws it away anyway, and takes the trash can down the hall to the dumpster. Back in the apartment, Jefferson hits a few buttons, turns a few dials, and hears some strange noises. He says to Rex, these might be radio waves from the past! He then hears mariachi music. Or, he says sadly, it might just be the Mexican radio station here in town. "Another great moment in science," says Rex. Jefferson's machine sputters and sparks and dies, and sadly Jefferson gives up for the night and leaves, sneaking one last sad look at the plans for his camera. Rex goes to bed too, shutting off all the lights. But he accidentally switches the power for two of the machines ON.

The machines hum. They are the device he was using on the ham, and the device Jefferson was using. That night there is a storm. Lightning hits. A surge of power hits the building. We see dials go all over the place. An incredible amount of power is surging into this one machine, until it FIRES, shooting out an incredible amount of energy. The ham explodes. The room glows green. A stream of energy is flowing out, everywhere. Jefferson and Rex run into the room. Time has become unstable – suddenly they can see themselves aging, becoming old men. Everything around them is decaying, changing. Then Jefferson sees his camera flicker into existence – "That's my camera!" he shouts. "I did it! In the future, I've actually created my camera!" The camera is marked "NEVER USE – WILL ONLY CAUSE HEARTBREAK." He grabs it, the machines explode, and time returns to normal. Except for Rex's long white beard. "I always wanted to grow a beard," he thinks. The camera is flickering in and out of existence in Jefferson's hands. Rex thinks he should crack it open and dissect it, but Jefferson says there's no time, it'll be long gone before he figures it out. He just wants to take one picture. Now Cody and Juliet have woken up because of the noise, and Juliet, considering herself an art photographer, takes the camera away from Jefferson, and says she'll take the picture. Jefferson, scared, follows her as she goes, saying she should take a street shot, something with lots of people. She says it's too early, no one's up. She notices an open door. The camera is disappearing. Jefferson shouts, take the picture. Juliet walks into the apartment – notices that it's really well decorated. "Swanky," she says. There is a bed in the corner and a vase with one flower on the bureau. She takes the picture, which spits out like a Polaroid. The camera then vanishes.

It's a boring picture – Jefferson is annoyed. But it is three-dimensional, and eerily lifelike. Juliet loves it, she thinks it's art. Jefferson says she can keep it, and goes back to work, frustrated. Juliet is still staring at the three-dimensional photo, as, down the hall, in the room Juliet took the picture of, a man is waking up. It turns out to be the young man Juliet had a photo of, her "old friend." He takes a shower, shaves, gets dressed, walks down the stairs, crosses the street and gets hit by a car. He is dead.

Back in the apartment, Juliet frames the photo. Rex and Jefferson are talking about cameras and ham, when Juliet's photo comes to life. The bed moves. A man wakes up. Juliet is shocked. A little man is pounding on the glass of the frame, asking if anyone can hear him. It's Mike, Juliet's old friend from school. And he's alive, trapped in the photograph. Jefferson is shocked. Juliet talks to him – keeps him calm. Some tribesmen, seeing cameras for the first time, believed that having their picture taken would steal their souls. Jefferson believes there's some truth to that, that for that moment, the single flash of the camera, your soul is indeed "stolen" and preserved on film. Except that the soul exists at more than one point in time. It's never gone, but for that moment it's stolen – one reason why Hollywood actors, photographed every second of their lives, can seem so soulless. Juliet wonders how to get Mike out of the photo, but there's no way to do so. He's just there. But where's the real Mike?

And then Cody looks out and sees the sirens and sees that he's dead. The news report it. Mike is shocked, and Juliet is heartbroken and guilty. "I stole your soul. I took a picture of your soul, and you died. I killed you." Mike calms her down and says it's not her fault. He says he's just glad to see her again. It had been a long time. We sense some romantic tension. Juliet takes the photo with her everywhere (to a soda shop, to the mall), and comforts Mike by keeping it in her bedroom as she goes to sleep – as she changes into her night clothes, she shly turns the photo away so he can't see. Mike confesses that he had always had romantic feelings for her, but never said so because he didn't think she'd be interested in him. Now Juliet feels really sad. "It's funny, being dead, the things you wish you'd done. I wish I'd told you how I felt, a lot sooner." Juliet sadly kisses the photo, and holds it close to her as she goes to sleep. When she wakes up, she is in the photo, in the room with Mike. Neither of them know how she got there. They talk. They kiss, and go to bed together.

Everyone is shocked to find Juliet gone, until Cody finds her in the photo, with Mike. He's very jealous. He wants to get Juliet out of there, but they don't know how she got in or how to get her out, and then she says, she doesn't want to come out, she wants to stay there with Mike. Which makes Cody really angry. He and Mike share some harsh words. But Cody eventually understands and leaves Mike and Juliet alone together in their photo. But the photo is changing, growing darker. Mike is feeling cold, very cold. They want to escape the tiny world of the one room in the photo, but there's nothing outside it, just the endless blackness of space. And now the room itself is growing darker. Juliet shouts for Jefferson, shouts for anyone to help. Jefferson and Rex arrive. They test the photo, and it seems that it's fading, that it can't maintain its four-dimensional state. That pretty soon it'll just be a two-dimensional photo again, and Mike will really be dead.

They have to get Juliet out of there. She says quietly to leave her and Mike alone, just to let them have a few last moments together. They talk as blackness engulfs them. Mike says that he doesn't have much here, just the one flower. He gives it to her. And then he tells her to go – the room crashes down around them, everything is going black. He lets go of her hand and pushes her away, as she's shouting she won't leave him. He says, it's okay. I would have died like a schmuck, getting hit by a car because I didn't look where I was going. Thanks to you, I'm going to die happy, in love with the most wonderful woman I ever knew. These have been the happiest days of my life. I'll go off with a smile ... He vanishes into the inky nothing. And then a flash, as darkness engulfs Juliet. She screams. The photo goes black, the frame shatters, the picture frame falls to the ground. Cody picks it up. There's nothing there. Juliet is gone. There's a moment as everyone looks very sad. And then they notice Juliet standing behind them. "Hey guys, how's it going?" "Not too bad, how are you?" "I've been better," she says.

Some of Rex's ham appears, having been sent into this point in time. Everyone gets ready for a ham dinner. And then Juliet notices the photo – the photo is now all black, except for one shining light in the middle, shining on a single white flower. Juliet holds it to her heart. The End.




My Pink Half of the Drainpipe – Part one of a three-part season finale. The sink is broken. The water is coming out brown. The toilet is broken. The freezer is overfreezing everything. Nothing works. Juliet is really annoyed. She hates it there. Juliet drags Cody to another one of her poetry readings, which she performs as Razor. But this time she brings Rex along. She screams and wails and bangs on drums and talks about life's misery. Rex and Cody are very, very miserable in the audience. Cody has been there every week. He can't take it, and finally has to tell Juliet to stop dragging him to her poetry readings, as he can't stand it. There is a big fight, and Juliet and Cody are no longer speaking.

In "classic sitcom fashion," they divide up the apartment into two halves with a line down the middle. Which happens to be drawn right down the middle of Lionel, who isn't allowed to move to either side. (And he really needs to use the bathroom.) Rex is in a really precarious position – he wants to remain friends with both of them, but they both hate him for being friends with the other! Jefferson tries to mediate, and just gets beat up in the middle. Juliet leaves, leaving Cody alone. He becomes very lonely. He didn't think she'd actually leave. To be continued.

Razor Loses Her Edge – Part two of a three-part season finale. Juliet is gone. Talking with Rex, Jefferson, and Rowena, he has to admit he really cares for her more than anyone and wants her back. But no one knows where she is. Turns out she's living on the road with the band Purple Stain, living in a VW bus like a hippie. She thinks the crew and band appreciate her poetry (actually they're too stoned to care). Cody gets down on his knees and begs, but isn't able to convince her to come back. She says she feels alive there. She is sleeping with several of the band. Things are ... hazy. The drummer leaves mysteriously, and she takes over. The band actually start listening to her, and one night while sleeping with the lead singer, she recites a poem. He's stoned and enjoys it. They sing it together (dual harmony) at a concert, which annoys the rest of the band horribly – Juliet is encroaching on the band. But the audience love it. It becomes one of their album songs, which becomes a single, which becomes a hit.

Meanwhile, Rex has caught the poetry bug and tries to take Juliet's place at the poetry readings. Everyone hates his work except Rowena, who adores it, finally coming to like Rex. Vengeful aliens invade, and Jefferson has to stop them alone. He gets beaten nearly to death. Rex gives him medical treatment, but Rex doesn't know if he and Rowena can stop them alone.  Juliet is now a rock star, and she has team of managers and stylists who take over her life and change her entire image. They take off her glasses, dress her in flashy outfits, and change what they call her "horrible, horrible hair." She misses her hair. Cody comes back one more time to beg Juliet to come back, and he barely recognizes her. She's become a rock star, made-up and sexed-up. She is acting strangely, completely phony. Cody is heartbroken, he can't recognize anything of the Juliet he knew in her. She says "Juliet is dead. Long live Razor, and rock and roll." Cody leaves her dressing room, and tears up the picture of her in his wallet. To be continued.

The Loneliness of the Long-Distance Razor (Or, How Juliet Got Her Groove Back) – Part three of a three-part season finale. Cody tells everyone that Juliet is gone, that she's a rock star now and she's not coming back. It's all quite sad. They all try to get on with life without her, but there's something missing. Rowena makes an attempt. She puts on glasses and a horrible wig. Cody: "No, thanks for trying, but it's just not the same." They see her video on TV. It's not even her voice – they've electronically altered it to make it sound like she can sing. "Maybe she's found herself," says Cody, and he decides he should find himself too, go out on the road somewhere, discover who he is. Rex and Jefferson beg him not to go, but he puts the apartment up for sale and goes for a very long walk. Rex and Rowena face the aliens alone, and get their asses kicked.

Meanwhile, Juliet can't take it anymore. The novelty of being popular has worn off, and she can't stand that her every move is choreographed for her, that she has to wear stupid-looking outfits all the time to match her stylist's idea of what's cool. That she has to shill for a cola company, and lip-synch onstage to something that isn't her voice anymore. And then she sees Cody, now with a beard, wandering out by the side of the road alone. She tells him he smells terrible. Both smile, and it's almost like the old Cody and Juliet again. He tells her that the person she's dressing and acting like now isn't her, that she needs to be herself again. She gets angry, and says that before she was an unpopular loser, a nerd with bad hair. She says, "you just can't stand that now I'm popular and cool." Cody says, "You were cool before. Now you're just pretending to be cool." "I'm a hit," she says, "I'm a star. Everyone loves me." "They love who you're pretending to be. They love a phony image on a screen. But they don't love the real you, because they don't really know you." "Do you really know me?" Juliet asks. "I think I do. I thought I did. If that still matters," Cody says, and walks away. Then Juliet sadly walks back to her stylists and managers, and it's even harder to pretend now.

She loses it during an interview where they just want her to read off a script, off the teleprompter. She starts to read what they want her to say, but when she hits a line about how great this one cola is, she loses it. She says exactly what she means, and rants about how phony the entire music business is, how it's not about the music but about the product, the image, which results in horrible music and sets a bad example for kids – it teaches kids to dress trampy, glorifies violence and objectifies women. It teaches them to like the same things everyone else does, and dress the same way everyone else does. We are individuals, she shouts. We are not a demographic to be sold to. We are intelligent, and we refuse to be talked down to. We are artistic spirits. We are rebels. We are uncool. She rips off her wig, and her own horrible hair is underneath it. She puts on glasses and is herself again. She does her crappy poetry act onstage, and is booed offstage. People throw bottles at her. She is a walking disaster. Her stylists and managers go ballistic. Her career shot, she goes back home.

Some Asian people are living there now, and she has to use a good chunk of her earnings to buy the apartment back. Rex and a recovered Jefferson are still there, Cody is still gone. She says it's good to be back anyway. The sink is broken. The water is coming out brown. The toilet is broken. The freezer is overfreezing everything. Nothing works. And Juliet is happy. She says she'd trade a million people who thought they knew her for just one who actually did. Then Juliet goes out driving to find Cody, who has a really long beard now and smells terrible. He stinks up the car. She holds her nose and complains all the way as she drives him home. Eventually she just ties him to the roof. They finally return back home. Cody cleans himself up. Juliet, Cody, Rex, Jefferson and Rowena beat the aliens together, and go back home. (There are some rumblings about how strange it is that Jefferson, Rex and Rowena couldn't beat the aliens without Cody and Juliet ... the chosen ones?) Back home, Cody and Juliet talk about a few things they should have talked about a long time ago. Finally they notice Lionel, who is still stuck in the middle of the room. He says, "Please, can I go to the bathroom now?"

[tygerbug]

---Incidentally, for those CNBers who are curious who the designs for the characters might be based on, I kind of vaguely based them on real actual human actors.

Rex started as Mark Heap in Spaced mode, combined with Tyler Durden (either Edward Norton or Brad Pitt, a bit of both actually) and then made younger, a bit hipper, more superheroic.

Juliet started as Peggy Lipton from Twin Peaks, I just made her twenty years younger and sarcastic.

Cody started as Neil Innes in Bonzo Dog Band mode, and then became kind of closer to ... me. Except not. The side view is based on my side view, except much more overbite-y. The hat is from Simon Pegg in that Spaced documentary.

Rowena started as Sherilyn Fenn in Twin Peaks and then went wrong. Actually I should bring her design closer to Fenn again.

[tygerbug]

Here's the complete first draft of The Chosen Ones (animated series) hourlong pilot. Juuuust finished it!  =)

http://orangecow.org/1ocp/Chosen%20Ones%20Pilot.rtf

[wheatgod]

wow mate
don't know what to say, thats a lot of work
good luck with it!

[slim]

Thanks for that, tygerbug, I shall read it with interest.

[Tre]

Fan-bloody-tastic! Love it! What's the missing bit?

[tygerbug]

Thanks! Really glad you liked it. Very glad indeed.


  Oop - I accidentally uploaded the old version, which was missing one of my favorite bits. I've uploaded the final version now -- no "Scene Missing" -- so you can see what you missed.

  (The missing dialogue is about robots and pot, and Rene Russo wanting to sleep with a gorilla.)

  Thanks ...