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Your last words on Earth...

Started by sproggy, October 07, 2005, 11:40:12 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

sproggy

NHS:

"I'm sorry, can I have another go please....  P.S. love and kisses to the wife & kids"


BUPA:

"I'm ready for my next go NOW... P.S. tell the wife she's not insured for the Bentley"


So.  What do you think your last words will be (assuming you're not emulsified by an SUV whilst crossing the road to buy a packet of ciggies & 1/2 bottle of vodka)

slim


zozman


Frinky

"I never loved you"

C'mon, it's so cruel it's funny.

imitationleather

"Bah. I don't believe that sticking paperclips into plug sockets is really dangerous at all..."

ffogems

I'd probably mumble something like 'so long and thanks for all the fish', and then die whilst castigating myself for being relentlessly, even at the point of death, unoriginal and bland.

"I always fancied you a little bit, mum, which is why I never showed any affection"

zozman


imitationleather

"Go on then. Fire the gun, I want to die! And that's what we call reverse psych..."

Clinton Morgan

"Just to the rhythm of the church bells my dear."

Outside a fire engine drives past.

Mr. Analytical

"Screw you guys... I'm going home"

All Surrogate

"Another 'Things' thread; over my dead body."

Emergency Lalla Ward Ten

'Death was so much better in the 70s.'

splattermac

I don't want to go

followed by a big teary blub and snot bubble.

Purple Tentacle

"...and I've shat myself as well...."

ffogems

'Quick! Everyone get out the cunting room, I wanna die alone.'

Anyone seen 'Hot tub ranking' on Channel 5 right now? The premise is - typical giggly blokey blokes rate some women. That's it. I'm expecting Chris Tarrant's voice to boom 'And that's what they do in less sophisticated countries.'
Oh, then the women rate the men.

splattermac

Can I die again, I've thought of another?

Frank Finlay from 80's sci-fi horror 'Lifeforce' says in a rather jovial and melodic tone 'here I go'

hmm, that is so shit if you haven't seen the film.

Suttonpubcrawl

"It was a miscarriage of justice! I didn't do it!"

Clinton Morgan

Quote from: "ffogems"'Quick! Everyone get out the cunting room, I wanna die alone.'

Could be worse....

YOU: Goodness, so it is true.

JESUS CHRIST: Yes indeed my child and here are your loved ones who have been patiently waiting for you.

YOU: Oh fuck!

Sivead


ffogems

Honestly though, who wants a group of people watching you die? I'd hope in that position I'd have full use of my verbal faculties, so I could ask them all to leave. 'I feel it, it's coming, it's coming.'

Oh and James Lance is on Channel 5 now.
These aren't my last words.
'Top buzzer' written by Johnny Vaughan and starring James Lance. I dare you to keep count of the number of "man"s used.

Frinky

"Garlic... Bread?"





Edit:

Thread: Killed

Lt Plonker

"Please let me out of you ample bosom Miss Howard, I can't breathe."

Emergency Lalla Ward Ten

'Hang on, I've just got to check Verbwhores...'

butnut

"That seems a bit harsh"

or

"Help I'm being flamed"

Emergency Lalla Ward Ten

'Right...'Things that are mildly irritating', here we go...'

butnut

"Look out - it's a squirrel on crack!"

ffogems

'Yep. I gave that squirrel crack. Wot ya gonna do abou-'

sproggy

"Can you just give my stent a quick drain...


...whilst you're down there, you couldn't do an old soldier a favou... Aaarghhh."

ffogems

'I dare you to eat your own head.'

'You're on...'

mayer

I want to die peacefully in my sleep like Edward II, not screaming like all of his passengers.