Your last words on Earth...

[butnut]

I want to be smothered by Christina Ricci's breasts while she's having a red hot poker shoved up her arse. And the poker wouldn't be removed, it will be left embedded in her fundament until it was cold, then carefully withdrawn. She would be killed in this manner, because frankly it would be a bit of a laugh. Then, I'd quite like to go like my grandfather, dying peacefully in his sleep. Not yelling and screaming like all the passengers in his car.

[sproggy]

I want to die peacefully in my sleep like Edward II, not screaming like all of his passengers.

You can always rely on a Jew to blame the passengers ;-)

[Suttonpubcrawl]

"No no no! I said 'You the nice nurse?' Not 'Euthanise me nurse'!"

[neveragain]

"I could have done better"

"Eeh-aye!"

Although a friend of mine had a dream in which I died and my last words were: "Do you think the bloke under the stage in 'The Smell Of Reeves and Mortimer' really worked as a joke?"

[Ambient Sheep]

"Oh go on, just one little suck won't kill me..."

[Frinky]

"You built a time machine? Out of a DeLore"

[Ambient Sheep]

"Stop yelling at me to listen to you, I'm DEAD for fuck's sake."

If confused, see here.

[petula dusty]

I'd probably mumble something like 'so long and thanks for all the fish', and then die whilst castigating myself for being relentlessly, even at the point of death, unoriginal and bland.

"I always fancied you a little bit, mum, which is why I never showed any affection"

I'm confused now. I read that and got deja vu and then read further down the thread and saw *that game* being played again so now I don't know if the first post is original or not.

'You did what??  You slipped valium into the driver's coffee....?'

[vacant]

* Can someone record The Simpsons for me? Ta.*

[VegaLA]

"Almost there.........."

Whilst playing Campaign mode on Halo 13 on my XBox 7 online with all my friends and VerbWhores. The last person to kill me online is gonna feel real guilty. And i'll have it video taped too !!

[Tre]

ffogems has already said mine "so long and thanks for all the fish" - but I would probably continue on for as long as possible, and it would definately be sung.

[SurferGhost]

All CaB associated, because nothing else matters:


Y'know, I never thought Vermschneid Mehearties was that big a pain really, some of his posts could be quite entertaini-

OR

That weekender is a big puff who can't handle his ale, and I don't care who knows it! Oh yeah, like there's really any danger of the cunt finding out where I li-

OR

Frinky, I am not your real father. Your real father is Almost Yearly. And your real mother? Your real mother is Trac-

OR

dot, I have always loved y-

OR

I'm going to start a new thread, and this time it's going to be grea-

OR

Please don't shut me in the cupboard again love, I promise I'll spend less time on that fucking messageboard, honest this time

[Tokyo Sexwhale]

"That's not a real gun"

"The sun's about to go supernova!  I've been waiting for this moment ever since they discovered a cure for mortality in 2015!"

[ffogems]

I'm confused now. I read that and got deja vu and then read further down the thread and saw *that game* being played again so now I don't know if the first post is original or not.

'Please explain...'

[Huzzie]

"Just keep an eye on me, I haven't touched ot for over a year."

or

"Fucking hell, get a sense of humour! It was only a jokuhhhhhhhhhhhhhrgrghhhh"

or

"Oww!! That really hurt!"

or

Typing in the comedy forum" I have the complete set of Blue Jams for sale to the highest bidder". While over in Belfast, Neil readies his remote electricution software on his KGB designed PC.

or

"Don't be sad for me, I will always be around, looking up on you"

or

"By the way, Shipman was innocent. C'mon, don't look at me like that you would have done the same if you had access to morphine. you will thank me next time you are walking through Hyde market and there are three 100 year olds walking side by side, being over taken by a snail but being unable to get past them yourself!"

or

"I bet you a fifty quid I can!!"

[Suttonpubcrawl]

"So yeah, I retire next week."

[Cerys]

'No, it's okay - if I just connect this wire to thi-'

'I think I can reach if I just lean a bit furthe-'

Or, if I have time to think:

'I'll pop back and let you know.'

[Wyn]

"Kiss me, I've got scurvy."

[neveragain]

More deaths!

'Before I go, Rose... I just have to say one thing: You were fantastic... And do you know what?... SO WAS I!'

...or...

'Bugger Bognor!'

Although, damn it all, I forgot the obvious one:

'Never again...'

[Suttonpubcrawl]

"They said no one could fit such an object up their arse and survive! Well I've proven them wrAAAARRGGHHH!!!"

[rone]

"So I was right about everything all along then ..."

[Xerxes & Friends]

"That wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be."

[lardboy]

"Tenner says I can."

[Pinball]

"Commence brain backup protocol"

[Almost Yearly]

"Afterlife or no? The suspense is killing me."

[sam and janet evening]

Dad! I see you got that Hunting Rifle you ordered!

[butnut]

"Ah, so this is the password to the clique, let's see what's in here..."

[aaaaaaaaaargh!]

aaaaaaaaaargh!

or

"nice doggy"

or

"bah, new page"


Edit - like the n.ew p.age filter

[Oscar]

My Nan's indignant last words
"I haven't gone yet you know!"

[Hairy Chin]

"Wheee!"