I've never had a girlfriend.

[ccab]

...don't KB a girl because she's a bit mis-shapen...
P.S the grass is always greener on the other side.

Just how mis-shapen have these birds of your's been, Kingboy?

[fum]

And don't worry about stringing a girl along if its just for sex, chances ar at that age she just wants the same.

WRONG

Think seriously before following this advice, I've met planty of blokes just wanting sex. If you want many women to think you're a cunt who has no control over his genitalia go ahead.

But you will invariably find that years will pass, noone will take you seriously (relationship wise) and you'll end up with nothing but one meaningless relationship after another. Then when you want to get serious you'll struggle to find someone.
Or some poor girl will think its love and you'll have trouble getting rid of her.

You need to be clear from the start that you're not after anything serious.

Oh and try not to set your standards to high, you'll get more opportunities that way. (avoid scraping the bottom of the barrel though).

Everyone says someone will come along and it always seems bollocks, but it does happen. I met my hubby when I was 19 and were still very happy.

(Just giving you a girls point of view on this)

Anyway good luck.

[hencole]

Sam, this is a near-suicidal urge you're getting & I'd recommend you try & ignore it. Serious relationships at 19 can waste some of your best years caged in a relationship that won't be permanent, but which will last just long enough to snuff out some of the best opportunities you'll ever get.

You tell me this now. If only I'd known a few years ago, all I ever had was steady girlfriends when I'd have probably been better off playing the field. And now I suppose I could play the field, but all I want is a steady girlfriend.

[hencole]

I've never done the whole chase them, woo them thing. I'm just not that sort of person. I'm just going to sit here until the next fish bites.

Same here and its causing me problems now. I've never been with anyone who I haven't known reasonably well in the first place, not neccesarily as friends though sometimes. I can't for the life of me bring myself to start chatting up random people in bars and clubs it just seems wrong in my head for some reason. It's easy at college because there are plenty of people in your classes that you get to know, but now I'm at work it's much harder particularly as I now work in a small department where everyone else is gay apart from my boss who's married with 2 kids.  
None of this has really bothered me in the past until this year where I think my biological clock must be ticking or something and it's in my thoughts quite a lot when before I didn't give a shit one way or the other.

[Vermschneid Mehearties]

Through my extremely limited experience, I've come to the conclusion that if you want a girlfriend, you have to be a greasy, detestable bastard, and put yourself out quite a bit, hang around with the 'right' people, and be good looking.

Or you meet someone you work with.

Women are hardly going to fall in your lap just while you walk down the street. I've had 3 'girlfriends' in my rather pokey existence, and they've all been slow-burners, lasting for a while, but never really going anywhere. Perhaps they've been looking for me to take charge, but hey- I'm a coward.

So in conclusion- if you haven't had a girlfriend, but you don't want a relationship, then it's hardly surprising, but take it from me- if you fancy someone- Get in their mates and families good books, get yourself sorted out, and if all else fails, ply her with alcohol (unspiked I'd hope).

Look for the beauty in people and not the ugliness

This Kingboy_D chap is right. When I first set eyes on my girlfriend I didn't even invisage that we'd get together, as I didn't think she was attractive at all. Fortunately she has possibly the most attractive personality I've ever come across, and when we met, it just clicked. It still took me months to get with her though, but that's my problem. Now I think she's really attractive!

[Kingboy_D]

And don't worry about stringing a girl along if its just for sex, chances ar at that age she just wants the same.

WRONG

Think seriously before following this advice, I've met planty of blokes just wanting sex. If you want many women to think you're a cunt who has no control over his genitalia go ahead.

I speak from the perspective of someone who spent two years in what I thought was a meaningful relationship, when in fact all we had in common was the desire for regular sex. Consequentley I have a pessemistic view of serious relationships this early in life. I think the majority of women (and men) aren't emotionally mature enough to get serious at this age and often mistake lust for love, but that's just personal experience. If it worked for you then well done.

I am also going to pull the "I was drunk when I wrote that" card.

[Jed Maxwell]

My advice, no rush, young fella-me-lad.
I was late getting off the mark (19 before 1st proper girlf) and as a consequence have had girlfriends pretty much constantly ever since, -just tended to bounce from next one, no matter how pointless the relationship.  

If you want girlfriend for companionship, romance, etc, then just sit tight, don't act desperate and look in right places, (gigs, film socs, etc - Uni is a good place to be to meet someone decent), sooner or later a good 'un will turn up.

If it's just frantic rutting you are after I'd give the old Porn or Sunday Sport-style personals/contacts a go. Tacky & sleazey though it sounds, if I had my hormone filled youth again I think I would have a bash. The idea of a frustrated housewife tending to my adolesent nether regions would have been just the ticket, -in the end I always looked after myself...

[Marcus Or Relius]

But, in my experience, getting a girlfriend always happens when you least expect it, and often with the person you least expect it with.

That's what happened to me last year. I spent about four-months sitting opposite a rather nice lady at work and I had big crush on her but, being all shy and stuff, I didn't have a clue how to point this out to her.

One night it was a leaving-do for one of the other girls and I went along, knowing that girl-who-sat-opposite-me was going. I sat near her through the meal, trying to summon up the courage to be all Cassanova-like and charm her with some delightful anecdotes and poetic utterances with subtle undertones of undying love, but I ended up talking about the weather. In the pub afterwards I was at the bar, waiting to be served whilst silently psyching myself up to take the plunge and ask her out, then chickened out when I'd paid for my drinks, instead deciding "I'll sink this pint for dutch-courage then ask her out."

Before I got back to the table, girl-who-sat-opposite-me came up, nervously admitted she rather liked me then asked me if I'd like to go see a movie with her sometime. Hurrah for me and my good looks! Hurrah!

[falafel]

Sad thing is, I've had quite a few girls lech on me since I've been at uni. There was one in particular: she was so bloody persistent -and this was before I came out - that eventually, on a night out, I decided to go for it and pull her just to get her out of my hair. Problem was, she clung to me like a barnacle for the rest of the night. My decided course of action was then to act like a total shit and put her off me. I got absolutely wasted, and eventually resorted to repeatedly dragging her out into the dancefloor and then 'losing her'. Apparently, so my mates say, at one point I was talking to them after I'd escaped and she came up behind me and pulled me round by the shoulder - to which I responded grumpily "Oh - it's you. What do you want?". Needless to say, neither of us were particularly willing to take it any further after that night.

I really am a cunt.

But she's got a boyfriend now, which is more than I can say for myself.

My advice - stop giving a shit. I did, and now I feel much better about myself.

[Virtually Perennially]

DP

[Virtually Perennially]

My decided course of action was then to act like a total shit

That'll be the "straight acting" part then.

[gazzyk1ns]

DP

This can be good advice but just remember that not every girl you meet will like it, take it slowly.

[Funky Gibbon]

Same here as well. The only women who seem interested in me are either twelve, or over sixty.

[sore bottom mum]

Same here as well. The only women who seem interested in me are either twelve, or over sixty.

Are you Ronan Keating?

[Vermschneid Mehearties]

Tsk. That's not forum etiquette.

Repeat after me- "You are Ronan Keating and I claim my five pounds."

[23 Daves]

Sam... oh dear... I'm clearing out my parent's spare room right now (which used to be my bedroom) and yesterday I found my old diary that I wrote when I was 17.  It was terrible, full of entries about how I couldn't get a girlfriend, entries about what I felt for women I was lusting after, etc. etc.  I think what should have been a minor interest in my life at that age ended up becoming a fucking obsession as a result of my continual analysis of my failings.  Don't get like that - it's pointless.  Just enjoy the fumbling action you DO get, and don't necessarily wonder if they'd like a relationship with you afterwards.

The thing is, if I'd had any common sense at the time I'd have realised that it wasn't just me who didn't have a relationship - most of my friends didn't either, and even those who did struggled to keep them going for more than a couple of months, therefore they'd best be classified as 'flings'.  This is going to sound really condescending, and I apologise if it does, but most teenagers don't know themselves well enough to know whether a relationship with a certain person will work, and even if it does they don't necessarily want the permanent responsibility or the restrictions a relationship implies.  I've seen tons of friends of mine in the midst of young love having their hearts broken to pieces because their girlfriend or their boyfriend decides they need space of their own in India or Dubai for a bit (or something).

Really, to re-iterate other's advice (and expand on it a bit) - get yourself an interest rather than a girlfriend, and really dedicate yourself to it.  Better still, make it a very publically visible interest like being a DJ or being in a band.  For all your coolness and the ignoring of women you'll be doing while you're busy, they'll come flocking.  Not necessarily for serious relationships though.

Oh, and I do respect the fact that once every so often people who get together at an early age do stay with each other for the rest of their lives, but I really have to honestly say that I don't know anyone in my social circle - ever - that this has applied to.  There's a few visible cases of it on Friends Reunited, but I'd honestly think they're the exception rather than the norm.  I don't think any of the supposedly 'serious' couples who shared spliffs with each other and gave each other romantic blow-backs in the recreation ground during sixth form breaks regret the time they spent together, but it's probably safe to say that they regard it all as a minor formative experience at best.

[12 years, 11 months old]

I suppose we're living up to the stereotype of web forum users aren't we? Then again, we probably need this thread to restore some kind of equilibrium after the charity sex one from a few weeks back.

I'm a year younger than you and not only have I never had a girlfriend, I've also never slept with anyone so I'm even lower on the great chain of being than you, if that's any consolation.

Listen to 23 Daves though; that man knows what he's on about. Most people our age are single, there's no point worrying unless, like me there's something in your personality that makes you feel uncomfortable with girls as soon as they show any interest. From the fact you've managed to get your leg over on three occasions I'm guessing you're reasonably confident in such situations, so beyond that there really isn't anything more you can do on your part except carry on, is there?

But then again, with my experience, who am I to offer advice? I often think that there should be a NHS scheme or something to assign people like you and I with romantically successful mentors.

[Edit - I've just seen the other thread you started. I know you've got more important things to worry about now, I wouldn't have posted if I'd known.]

[nixon]

19?

chill my man.  You are still a teen, anyway.  Hope you're doing ok.

[Dr David V]

I've never had a girlfriend.

I can beat that, but I'll be fucked if I told you how.

Wait a minute...

[Kazuo Kiriyama]

Pfft.

I'm almost 25, never had a girlfriend, and never even spat in anyone else's mouth. Beat *that*~!

You can't, because I am king.

[DonkeyRods]

Pfft.

I'm almost 25, never had a girlfriend, and never even spat in anyone else's mouth. Beat *that*~!

You can't, because I am king.

Well, I'm almost 25, and I've never even seen a girl! Colour me severly unimpressed.

[Hairy Chin]

Pfft.

I'm almost 25, never had a girlfriend, and never even spat in anyone else's mouth. Beat *that*~!

You can't, because I am king.

Well, I'm almost 25, and I've never even seen a girl! Colour me severly unimpressed.

Suddenly I feel like the Fonz. Everyone more inadequate and inexperienced than me may continue posting to keep making me feel great.

Heeeeyyyy.

[terminallyrelaxed]

I've been called a pervert, and seen a thing or two, but I don't think I've ever spat in someone else's mouth either....

[crying inside]

(Sorry if this is all very 'Dear Deirdre')

I'm a semi-regular poster here, on another account. It's depressing and lonely, but I've never kissed a girl, let alone slept with a woman or had any kind of romantic relationship. I'm 29. If I was posting from my regular account, I'd probably joke it away. But it kills me. Every year seems to reinforce some mental barrier to ever finding love. Plenty of girls at work like me (as a friend), and I'm not ugly (quite good looking), and I'm pretty outgoing and active (before you say it, I've never been to a sci-fi/Star Trek convention either). But forever a 'wingman' I guess.

I'm rambling a bit here. Confessing to strangers I suppose. I'd sure die of embarrassment if anyone I knew found out. Think I'll continue the pretense to my friends, they wouldn't laugh in front of me, but I guess would have a guilty chuckle behind my back. Ah.

*sighs with heavy heart*

[Cheese Arse H Christ]

come on, mods.... name and shame

[Tokyo Sexwhale]

So we're looking for a semi-regular, male poster, who was born in 1974/75.  Right let's have a look at that "Do we share birthdays thread"....

[Lt Plonker]

He's me from the future.

Tell me, do I ever get my own animated series?

[Darrell]

He's me from the future.

Tell me, do I ever get that animated series commissioned?

[monkhouse terror]

No he's me, I think you'll find.

About my little animated series idea...

[Rev]

He's all three of you, and what a great animated series you'd make.