My brother died today.

[Sam]

I got a call this evening from my parents informing me my brother threw himself under a train this morning. He celebrated his 21st birthday last Saturday. I spoke to him only yesterday I am still in a state of shock. I had a 30 minute surreally calm conversation with my dad where he told me the deatils. Then I hung up the phone and cried non-stop for about 30 minutes. Since then I've been wondering around confused as hell, not really feeling anything.

The weird thing is that he was always so happy, never gave a sign of being depressed. There have been no events in his life (splitting up with a girlfriend or whatever) that could have triggered this. He left a note saying he'd been contemplating suicide for the last four years. The day before yesterday he spent the day with his mates playing footie in the park. He went to bed and that's the last they saw of him.

If anyone has lost a close family member or has any experience with suicide who don't mind sharing stories I'd appreciate it --I could do with some comforting.

[Lt Plonker]

My sincerest condolences, Sam. No stories to share, I'm afraid. Just hang in there, chum.

[morgs]

Yeah, I have to agree.  I suppose that I am fortunate not to have been in that position.  Your news moved me and I hope that you can make it through this difficult time okay.

[butnut]

Bloody hell - I feel slightly shocked myself. I have two brothers and have no idea what I'd do if they went. One had a very lucky escape in a motorbike accident. I remember my mum telling me about it but it didn't seem real. It took some time to sink in how close he'd been to going. (God, please don't be offended by this. It's really hard to find the right thing to say in situations like this. It's just the closest I've come to your situation)

I'm really sorry for you.

[splattermac]

oh Sam that's horrible

I only become religious when I read sadness like this, I have no idea what to say, what a horrible random thing to deal with, I'm sorry I've nothing to add but I couldn't pass this by having read it and not express my deepest deepest sympathies.

[Regular John]

Sincere condolences mate, I can't even begin to imagine how you feel.

[The Region Legion]

Many condolences.

[sproggy]

I imagine it's a pretty miserable experience for the train driver & passengers as well, particularly as they had no control over the situation.

It always disturbs me when I hear of young people taking there own lives, particularly for no apparent reason.  There are so many pressures on kids these days, they're expected to grow up and act responsibly at such an early age, it's no wonder they sometimes crack and feel like throwing their hand in.

Suicide is the modern day Plague, and is in danger of becoming an epidemic.


'tis a bad thing.

[DonkeyRods]

I don't know what to say in situations like this, that's terrible news. Hope you get through this ok, you have my deepest sympathies.

[splattermac]

I don't know if you live on your own, but there's a strong possibility you are in the eye of the storm in terms of being in shock.

Why don't you phone up your dad again so you don't have to read the comments of strangers.

I'm sure Neil will delete this thread for you at request should the cold light of day change your mind.

You have to be strong for you family and they will be for you,

[Cheese Arse H Christ]

Why don't you phone up your dad again

Good advice. Do it for your dad's sake if not your own.

[Pythov]

Deepest sympathies for yourself, your family and all your brothers friends.

[jutl]

I'm so sorry. I have had someone close to me attempt suicide, and it is a disorienting experience - particularly when it is entirely unexpected. I don't know if this is any comfort, but the kind of action you describe there is pretty much impossible to avert. Really serious depression is often entirely silent, and a determined person will always manage to do what they want in the end. From what I know of this kind of depression, it can coexist in your head with loving your  family and friends and knowing that you are loved by them. I really am so sorry.

[nixon]

ditto all the above.  I am shocked.  What Can I say.  :-(      




Hang in there.

[Hairy Chin]

Sorry to hear of your loss, Sam. I'm afraid I've nothing to share with you that may ease your grief at this time, other than to also pass on my condolences to you.

[Harfyyn Teuport]

I'm really sorry. I don't know what comfort I can give you at this time, or even what I should tell you. All I can hope is that you and your dad and everyone else touched by this sad news can come together to deal with your loss in whatever way you can. I'm very sorry.

[falafel]

I can only offer my condolences, and wish you all the strength in the world to get through it. I second splattermac's comments; the best thing you can have at this sort of time is human contact. I really haven't much to offer, but your friends and your parents will. My heart goes out to you.

[wasp_f15ting]

I express my deepest sympathy to you and your family.

Take care.

[king mob]

Oh fucks sake.
Sorry, please feel free to PM or ask anything if you feel like it, i'd like to help.

[Vermschneid Mehearties]

I can't imagine how hard it must be for you right now. Stay strong, and I hope you have friends and family who can support you through this. Best wishes, Jack.

[Bogey]

I can only echo what's been said. I can't imagine what you're going through.
I'm really sorry.

[no_offenc]

I can't offer help, but I can say I'm sorry to hear of your sad news, dude.  Stay strong.  You have my condolences.

[Joy Nktonga]

Like all of the above I offer my deepest sympathies and apologise for having no words of codolence or encouragement.

[sore bottom mum]

That's really shit news to hear, my thoughts are with you. A close friend died in a car crash last august, it never really does seem real, but after a while it becomes a fact and the only thing you can really take from it is that it makes you a better person. Take strength from this experience, and I know it's a cliche, but I'm sure your brother would never want you to not carry on with your life. For me, my friend dying has made me appreciate living.... I've got this life that I can do what the fuck I want with. You must take positives from a situation like this. Take care Sam.

[Lu tze]

http://www.1000deaths.com/photos/46.html

My Son. Damien. Hanged himself 4 years ago. 22 Years old.

[Rev]

It does sound a little 'greetings card', but you have my deepest sympathies.  You asked about experiences with suicide, so I'll ramble for a little while on the off-chance that it's helpful.  My dad killed himself when I was 11, and while you do have a kind of supernatural resilience to such things when you're young, even then I was trying to work out why, and whether anything could have been done to stop it.  Had he been behaving a little 'off' in the weeks beforehand?  Should I have picked up on something?  Everyone in the family felt the same, that if only they'd done something slightly different it wouldn't have happened.  Chaos theory, butterfly landing on a leaf in China.  It took me a decade to work out that that just ain't true.  You will probably start to have thoughts along the lines of 'I could have...', even if it's just a little thing like returning a phone-call, and nothing anyone can say will stop you chewing yourself up over this, but when people do these things they do so for reasons that are never going to be detectable to the outside world.  

I told you I'd be rambling.  Once again, my deepest sympathies.

[terminallyrelaxed]

My condolences also. I've sat  here with the reply window open for ages and there just isnt anything more I or anyone without similar experience can say, except to offer any help you might need. What an awful thing.
I can't imagine losing my brother. We rarely speak, but news like this makes me want to talk to him more often, and oddly to take better care of myself than I currently am, for my family's sake.

I reccomend calling your Dad back also, even visit if its at all possible. All families are different but times like this call for pulling together.

Hang in there mate.

[gazzyk1ns]

Sorry to hear about your brother. Normally I'd not bother talking about it on the net but if you want to hear other peoples' experiences to reassure you you're not 'alone', then 4 years ago I had a mate killed suddenly in a car crash... as you know there aren't really any words for something like this.

But as with everything I've ever experienced, time makes it better. I think others have said pretty much everything, talking to as many friends/family as possible when you feel like it (and sometimes when you don't, depending on the person...) is something I'd recommend too.

[Cerys]

Ah, shit.  I don't really know what to say.  'That sucks' is a bit of an understatement, really.  'Be strong' is a tad clichéed and patronising.

Anyway - thinking of you.

[Synchronised Cocks]

Sorry to hear what's happened, Sam. My condolences to you as well.