Songs where you misheard the lyrics and like your version better

[non capisco]

'This Train' by Sister Rosetta Tharpe just popped up on shuffle and near the end it sounded like she sings "This Train don't pull no wankers" a couple of times. I was reacting to the first one when she repeated the line and it sounded even more like 'wankers'. She sang it with such relish too.

I refuse to find out what the real lyrics are, it sounded so clear to my stupid ears and arguably fits the theme of the song. I already knew from earlier lyrics that I wouldn't be welcome on her big shiny do-gooder wagon, stinking of fags and vice as I do, but that capper really sealed it. I wouldn't know anybody on there anyway.

She is genuinely singing "This train don't pull no wankers", you'll be delighted to hear. It's an amended lyric for a UK performance, the original was "This train don't pull no jokers."

[Egyptian Feast]

Holy shit! Did some wag tell her it meant something else?

This is what Google shows for that verse (Genius says 'jokers'):

You know this train don't pull no wankers, this train, uh-uh
I said this train don't pull no wankers, this train
No-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no, this train don't pull no wankers
No crack shooter and no whiskey drinkers (I hear ya)
Is a clean train, this train

She's lucky they allowed her on the train with a filthy mouth like that. Blatant double standards. You wouldn't find George Michael on there because he enjoyed the odd reefer but the teetotal Bernard Manning is sitting in his underpants in the buffet car joking about minorities. What a swizz!

[Bently Sheds]

I heard a Jockstrap song that sounded like she was singing about having "a six pack dad"

[non capisco]

Holy shit! Did some wag tell her it meant something else?

I think I've previously read or seen on a documentary that she heard someone saying it when she was over here, asked them what it meant and they toned the meaning down to something like "Oh, you know, a silly person", hence the ad libbed substitution from 'jokers' for the UK live recording. It's got to be the only use of "wankers" in a recording of that era. There's some unexpectedly ripe old language on a few blues records but not "wankers".

[Egyptian Feast]

It's rare enough to hear Americans using it now, so I was convinced my ears were bullshitting me. Unbelievable.

Sister Rosetta Tharpe might be welcome on That Train, but is officially disqualified from This Thread.

[Russ L]

I'm strangely bad at deciphering lyrics, but my best mishearing has to be Manic Street Preacherses paean to their favourite photography periodical:

Libraries gave us power
Then "What Camera" made us free

I also always used to wonder why Madonna wanted Bill Oddie to put his hands all over her body.

[JaDanketies]

I remember thinking "my dad might like Peter Paul and Mary" and playing him their version of This Train and he was appalled that I could suggest he'd enjoy something with religious overtones

[Deliciousbass]

The shout at the end of Slipknot's 'People = shit' I have always heard as 'London Lite!!!'

[Russ L]

In Smells Like Teen Spirit, 'Here we are now, imitate us' instead of 'entertain us', which would have been much better.

Here we are now, with potatoes

[Egyptian Feast]

The Róisín Murphy thread has reminded me I thought she sang "Give up Professor to the Moomin/The time is now" the first time I heard it.

[Sebastian Cobb]

Monster Mash is funnier if it's 'I was wanking in my lab late one night', you can then pretend that it's all about him getting pulled off as well.

[canadagoose]

In Adam Ant's Goody Two Shoes, I thought he was singing

"It's like, don't drink, don't smoke, what do you do?"

rather than

"'Cos I don't drink, don't smoke, what do you do?"

It never really occurred to me that people probably didn't say the likes of the former in 1982.

[Clatty McCutcheon]

I heard the Deacon Blue song 'Fergus Sings The Blues' the other day, and was sure I heard the line 'Sid James/my biggest influence'.

I thought, I've never really heard much influence from the star of the Carry On films with the lecherous laugh in the music of Deacon Blue, to be honest.

Turns out it's 'Homesick James/my biggest influence', with Homesick James being an American blues musician'.

I still thought, I've never really heard that in the music of Deacon Blue, to be honest.

[canadagoose]

Just very recently realised that the chorus of Never Ever by All Saints went

"Never ever have I ever felt so low"

not

"Never ever ever ever felt so low"

And I kind of prefer my version for being dafter.

[buttgammon]

Just very recently realised that the chorus of Never Ever by All Saints went

"Never ever have I ever felt so low"

not

"Never ever ever ever felt so low"

And I kind of prefer my version for being dafter.

Fuck my hat, is that not the actual lyric then? It's a bit daft but 'Never ever have I ever' sounds clunkier.

[Angst in my Pants]

If you think that's daft, there's a few questions that I need to know.

[Shaxberd]

First line of Hungry Like The Wolf: "Pig in the city, night is a wire."

Turns out it's actually 'darken the city', as if that makes any more sense.

[dontpaintyourteeth]

I always assumed it was "dark in the city" but I never really knew what it meant for the night to be a wire anyway

[Jockice]

I heard Crocodile Rock a couple of days ago. I thought until fairly recently that the line 'I never knew me a better time' was actually 'I never knew me a Valentine.'

And I guess I never will. Although years ago I did know a bloke whose first name actually was Valentine. I also nowadays know someone with it as a surname.

[Phoenix Lazarus]

As I child, I thought Brass in Pocket, by the Pretenders, had the lyric: 'gonna use my style; gonna use my sausage'.

[Sebastian Cobb]

"gonna use my arse, gonna use my legs"

[Incy Wincy Mincey]

First time hearing "Gypsies, tramps and thieves" I misheard the first two words as "cheese, peas" and finished the line with "chips and beans". Still can't hear it as anything else.

I also own this mug:

[Jockice]

As I child, I thought Brass in Pocket, by the Pretenders, had the lyric: 'gonna use my style; gonna use my sausage'.

I've probably mentioned this before but I used to think she was singing: "Got mousse cake, it's alreet. Got something and when can I chew?"

[Johnboy]

I always thought in Get Off Of My Cloud he says:

"Don't hang around boy, through the crowd.."

but i've just been browsing a Stones songbook and it's

"Don't hang around boy, two's a crowd.."

I suppose I never gave it much attention, just heard it that way for forty years and probably will continue to do so.

[binster]

The line 'he came into your apartment' in Smooth Criminal I always mistook for the mildly disappointed sounding 'take a look at your apartment', like Annie had left an unflushed turd in the toilet or something.

[TheMonk]

Love Is A Stranger by Eurythics:
And I want you
And I want you
And I want you
Some things are not sensual

Fits well with Dave Stewart's bizarre grunting

[famethrowa]

Love Is A Stranger by Eurythics:
And I want you
And I want you
And I want you
Some things are not sensual

Fits well with Dave Stewart's bizarre grunting

I always assumed it was

"and I want you
something something special"??