The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud: The Thread

[Misspent Boners]

Wtf???

[Replies From View]

Wtf???

You were supposed to pretend you did that on purpose.

[gilbertharding]

I can't find the post, and I can't remember what thread it was in, but it was to do with someone's small daughter streaking shite down an inflatable slide and the plaintive cry of the slide operator that she'd left the scene before having all the goes on the slide that they'd paid for.

Literally had to go for a little walk after reading that.

[Sherman Krank]

Wtf???

You need to make sure each quote is closed with '[/quote]' otherwise you get an endless quote box.

For example, the quote above with the brackets switched to curly to stop it displaying correctly looks like this..


{quote author=Misspent Boners link=topic=65988.msg3476633#msg3476633 date=1525793723}

Wtf???
{/quote}

If you wanted to quote the last two posts it should look like this..

{quote author=Misspent Boners link=topic=65988.msg3476633#msg3476633 date=1525793723}

Wtf???
{/quote} <<<<< first quote closed

{quote author=Replies From View link=topic=65988.msg3476636#msg3476636 date=1525793941}
You were supposed to pretend you did that on purpose.
{/quote} <<<<< second quote closed

<your reply>  <<<<< quote box free

Change the {} to [] and you get...

Wtf???

You were supposed to pretend you did that on purpose.

<your reply>

The preview button next to the post button is handy for practicing.
(On some browsers after clicking the preview button you then need to scroll up to see it.)

[Misspent Boners]

Stop it

[Misspent Boners]

You're scaring me

[Sherman Krank]

[poo]

We're all just here to appreciate Gregory, I think.

Hah, yeah loved that one

[Dex Sawash]

This one

[Norton Canes]

i keep farting!

« Last Edit: Yesterday at 11:27:48 PM by itsfredtitmus »

The post is great but what I really love is that it needed an edit.

[Ferris]

Six year old double leg amputee Timmy Timpson's excitement at trying out his new extra springy prosthetic blades quickly turns to horror  when he reaches the lowest point of the seesaw and promptly trebuchets himself into a poop a scoop bin.

Something about "trebuchet" was very amusing.

[Cerys]

Not so much a guffaw as a long succession of silent giggles.

[St_Eddie]

Not so much a guffaw as a long succession of silent giggles.

I like to think that this explains peoples reactions to my jokes, when face to face.

[madhair60]

Or you could always put a loaded gun in your mouth and pull the trigger.

[MoonDust]

Thankfully cold coffee is like a blowjob but in the mouth.

[doppelkorn]

Take me to the floor that is just an ocean of cum.

It helped that it was directly after this

TAKE ME TO FLOOR 69 IT'S SUCK OFF TIME BABY - is this okay?

[Chairman Bodog]

This is just a big bawdy halidom for the karma spent.

It reminds me of one of those dicky afterparties where everybody's only five drinks in and regaling their favourite moments of the night before they go to bed.

"When Ron said the finger foods were a veritable spread and did that face is still tickling me."

[madhair60]

It helped that it was directly after this

Came to post these

[Johnny Yesno]

It reminds me of one of those dicky afterparties where everybody's only five drinks in and regaling their favourite moments of the night before they go to bed.

"When Ron said the finger foods were a veritable spread and did that face is still tickling me."

Never heard of that. Are you sure it isn't just you?

[Chairman Bodog]

If you're asking me for assuredness then it's all you.

[Johnny Yesno]

Er... this has been great. Too many high points to mention right now. Must dash. Just remembered I er... left a tap on. Yes, that was it. Bye.

[Chairman Bodog]

Jo-Johnny! I still haven't showcased my marmot jockstraps to you yet. I haven't let you feel it yet.

[Uncle TechTip]

This is just a big bawdy halidom for the karma spent.

It reminds me of one of those dicky afterparties where everybody's only five drinks in and regaling their favourite moments of the night before they go to bed.

"When Ron said the finger foods were a veritable spread and did that face is still tickling me."

[Gregory Torso]

This really made me laugh just now,

I can't remember when or how it happened but my mate and I have a mental pocket glossary pertaining to cringe momes. Hops means something is a bit corny and didn't land. Barley means it was too far out and irreverent. Hops and Barley means it was boisterousness falling flat. Rusks means sexually hops. Farley means it went too farley. Rusk Safari is code for pretending to cockblock. It's shimmered and shifted like a silver surfer decking the change lanes.

It all started years back when we bent the rules to Last Card on hash browns. Tatas later we punched in the hops and barley signal system.

Love ya, Bodog.

[Morrison Lard]

First it was the dark fruit thing and now this.

Has someone left the gas on here?

[canadagoose]

It's true - Blade Runner is just 2 hours of Harrison Ford eating different flavoured Pot Noodles.

[Alberon]

From the latest Neol Edmonds thread on HS Art-

INT CRINKLEY BOTTOM MANSION THING

BARROWMAN: Welcome to the 3,000th edition of John's House Party!!!

AUDIENCE: Whoooooo!

BARROWMAN: And as a special treat, we've invited the man who made the House Party such a massive success, It's Sammy The Chamois!

AUDIENCE: Yaaaaay!

MORRISSEY (NOT THAT ONE): I clean the windows!

BARROWMAN: As we all know, you were the driving force behind the show back when it started in 1991. Let's go back down memory lane as we revisit some of Sammy's best bits. Please note, for legal reasons we've had to pixelate the face of one cast member.

AUDIENCE: Whooooo!

*The front door smashes in, The doorway fills with smoke. Noel Edmonds strides through the carnage.*

NOEL: Kneel before Edmonds!

BARROWMAN: Bailiffs!

*Two bailiffs run onto the set, Noel vaporises them with a laser gauntlet on his left hand*

NOEL: Your puny bailiffs are nothing to me now. Now, you. Will. KNEEL.

MORRISSEY (NOT THAT ONE): Come on Noel. We don't want any trouble.

NOEL: Trouble? You think so small, Chamois. Look at you all, with your precious gunge, grabbing at mere grands. I have seen riches you couldn't contemplate. I have fashioned a Gotcha the size of Wembley stadium out of solid gold and I destroyed three planets to do so at the cost of nine billion worthless lives.

BARROWMAN: What do you want?

NOEL: Captain Jack Harkness! I have heard much of you. The hero that cannot die. What say we put that to the test?

BARROWMAN: No. Please. I'm just an actor, singer and all-around entertainer.

NOEL: Just as I thought. You are nothing. You aren't worthy of the House Party. You aren't worthy of LIFE!

*Edmonds picks up Barrowman with the gauntlet and crushes his windpipe and spine and throws him to the floor.*

NOEL: See, Chamois? See how the pretenders to my throne are so easily cast aside? Are you to be next?

MORRISSEY (NOT THAT ONE): Please, Noel, I'll do anything.

NOEL: Wait 'Til I Get You Home? Why wait when I can vaporise you NOW?!

*Suddenly, the whole house is bathed in a bright light*

LOUD BOOMING VOICE: Mr. Noel Edmonds? We're here on behalf of Lloyds Galactic Banking Group with permission from the Universal Planetary Alliance. This house belongs to us. Please vacate the premises or we will be forced to take action.

NOEL (laughing): You... You think I fear you? Did you not see my Youtube parody advertisement? I don't just own this house! I own the entire universe! I AM THE HOUSE PARTY! AND THE HOUSE PARTY IS EDMONDS!!!

LOUD BOOMING VOICE: Then we have no choice... Dispatch the indestructible robot space bailiffs!

NOEL: Oh, fuck.

Pure genius.

[gib]

Those look like photos we'll be seeing in a news story about someone disappearing and/or being murdered.

[up_the_hampipe]

Poor Dan

[Dr Syntax Head]

Yeah that picture is full on funny