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General Bullshit / Re: Adrian Chiles
« Last post by Tony Tony Tony on Today at 12:34:20 AM »
If you laid Adrian Chiles

Lets leave it at that?
General Bullshit / Re: Adrian Chiles
« Last post by Video Game Fan 2000 on Today at 12:34:07 AM »
There is a breeding pair left at Bristol zoo, we live in hope.

Please do not give the breeding Chiles extra large condoms.
Yeah, but from what I’ve read in the past it’s the big US firms that are lobbying hard.
General Bullshit / Re: Adrian Chiles
« Last post by GoblinAhFuckScary on Today at 12:32:10 AM »
alien childs
General Bullshit / Re: Adrian Chiles
« Last post by Cold Meat Platter on Today at 12:31:18 AM »
If you laid Adrian Chiles end-to-end he would reach all the way to Adrian Chiles.
General Bullshit / Cruising (NSFW)
« Last post by eagle_bearer on Today at 12:31:01 AM »
You bend over and place your hands on the trunk of the tree. Your pants and underwear are around your ankles. There are two full moons on display tonight.

Behind you, you hear him spit into his hand and then you hear the unmistakable fleshy thwacking of a guy wanking himself off. He's groaning softly but it's hard to hear because your heart feels like it's going to pound itself out of your ribcage. Your throat is sawdust dry and you gulp to help eke the words out.

'Will this hurt?'

'It's just like taking a big shit,' he says. 'You've done that before, haven't you?'

You nod as you think about the fucking belter you did on Saturday morning after breakfast while you were reading the sports section. If this feels half as good as that, you're onto a winner.

He spits again and then you feel his wet fingers rubbing your arsehole and then his middle finger slides into you. You can't help the wavering, guttural moan that comes out. Your face flushes. You feel vulnerable but it's what you've wanted for so long.

'Okay,' he says. 'It's time to play whack-a-mole with your prostate.'

Finally. All those years you've been trapped in your sham of a marriage, unable to act on your true desires. He pushes his warm, pulsating rod inside you. You moan and your loins are ablaze and it spreads like wildfire up your spine and it's the fifth of November inside your head. When it all boils down to it, his cock is a wand and right now there's magic inside your arse.

You're moaning now like banshee. With each thrust you moan louder, for each thrust is a hammer smashing out the bricks in the wall of repression you built over the decades.

Blimey. What we saw there was a scene depicting an act of ‘cruising’. This is when people meet for sex in public areas. In this scene, a closeted homosexual was being given a right good seeing to, but this is only one variant. It isn’t only closeted homosexuals that partake, and it’s vital you acknowledge this. ‘Cruising’ can be - and is - practiced by men and women of all sexualities. Some people simply enjoy the thrill.

It sometimes happens at night in car parks. It can happen in the woods at night but also during the day due to the secrecy provided by thick foliage. And it can take place at any time within the cubicles of public toilets. In the UK, this is a variant known as 'cottaging'. A popular method in a public toilet is to use a ‘gloryhole’. This is a hole cut out in the wall between two cubicles so that one is able to give or receive anonymous hand or oral relief. Sometimes penetrative sex occurs. It is vital the 'gloryhole' has a sufficient radius.

Personally, I am fairly liberal about all this business, providing a couple of requirements are met. Firstly, do it at night or in a well-hidden area so as not to be seen by children, or anyone else for that matter. We should all be able to walk through the woods and see wildlife, but it should be birds and squirrels we see, not the beast with two backs.

Secondly, do not leave litter. Don't do this in general, but certainly don't leave used condoms or femidoms strewn around a car park or in the woods. We should all be able to wander freely without a used sheath soiling our footwear. Furthermore, we don't want our pets to mistake the condom for a snack. Worse still, a child could innocently pick up the used condom, perhaps thinking it a deflated balloon.

I've kept you for long enough. I know you've got things to do. Just a few questions do finish. Have you ever partaken in outdoor sex? Have you ever stumbled across others doing it? What do you think about it? Harmless fun if done in the dark between consenting adults, or a perversion that the law needs to come down hard on?
General Bullshit / Re: Queen Elizabeth DEAD
« Last post by GoblinAhFuckScary on Today at 12:30:08 AM »
the thought of having to endure the media circus around this is so unbearable

i've heard people say this loads but i honestly don't understand why people just don't pay attention to it like? i've stopped following the news for sanity's sake and i find it hard to imagine the queen's death having even the remotest impact on my life

you can just not follow most media
General Bullshit / Re: Adrian Chiles
« Last post by Tony Tony Tony on Today at 12:29:33 AM »
Almost no Adrian Chiles left in the wild apparently.

There is a breeding pair left at Bristol zoo, we live in hope.
Whatever you say, popcorn.

What annoyed me about "Matinée" was that they just kept repeating "matinée" in the chorus. The Chorus of the song, "Matinée", in which they keep repeating the word "matinée".

Oh, the huge matinée!
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