The Apprentice 2024

[Blue Jam]

Two pie entrepreneurs, Lordsuralan? TWO?

https://www.bbc.co.uk/mediacentre/mediapacks/the-apprentice-2024-candidates-series-18



Pies are the new pillahs I guess. Starts 1st of February.

[Gurke and Hare]

I like the way there are three different answers to the "What is your biggest business failure?" question:

1 - Honest answer.
2 - "I have never failed at anything" - wanker.
3 - Loads of waffle about how failure is nothing to be ashamed of, and you can learn important lessons from failure but no actual mention of any particular failure - wanker.

[thr0b]

I'm going to watch it, I'm going to get into it, but also it's going to be exactly the same as every other series and I'm tired of it.

[convulsivespace]

Two pie entrepreneurs, Lordsuralan? TWO?

https://www.bbc.co.uk/mediacentre/mediapacks/the-apprentice-2024-candidates-series-18



Pies are the new pillahs I guess. Starts 1st of February.

What's going on with Lord Sugar in that photo? That's the best shot they had?

[oggyraiding]

Thought I recognised one of them, he went on Dragon's Den a few years back.

How did you decide upon the name of your brand?

The name actually was devised by a friend of mine. He advised me to keep things simple when I told him I wanted to create my own smoothie brand. DATE as the common ingredient in all our smoothies are dates. DATE because time is precious and everyone is in a rush. Finally, DATE stands for Dr Asif's Thoughtful Eating

Seems a cunt.

[Prax150]

It's been getting worse over the years but last year's candidates were so abysmal to the point where it made the series borderline unwatchable. Surely this format has to be on its last legs by now.

[Des Wigwam]

What's going on with Lord Sugar in that photo? That's the best shot they had?

Stealth marketing for the Amstrad urinalcam - it also does emails.

[Des Wigwam]

The last one I saw of these was where they did a tour package for Shrewsbury nick. It was quite good except for the role playing bit they a) confused 19th century prison life with the USMC boot camp scenes in Full Metal Jacket and b) failed to tell their party it was an immersive experience so some of them looked genuinely frightened when it started.

Won't watch this. Am more about the Ramsay knock-off one although that was boring AF by the end of the last series (its second series) so am bit anxious there.

[Terry Torpid]

I gave up on this rubbish years ago. I'm surprised it still flies in this day and age. Sugar fancies himself an insult comic, but he's just an un-PC bully, the interviewers insult and belittle the candidates, many episodes are an advert for Sugar's various businesses and buddies, the editing is misleading, and the contest is blatantly rigged.

It would be OK on a commercial channel, but surely the BBC should have rules about this kind of thing?

[Blue Jam]

Stealth marketing for the Amstrad urinalcam - it also does emails.

Does it check the health of your walnut?

[Blue Jam]

I gave up on this rubbish years ago. I'm surprised it still flies in this day and age. Sugar fancies himself an insult comic, but he's just an un-PC bully

I believe Danny Baker writes his jokes... but Lordsuralan's delivery is terrible, like you say he just comes across as a bully, and he genuinely does have some dodgy views.

It's been getting worse over the years but last year's candidates were so abysmal to the point where it made the series borderline unwatchable. Surely this format has to be on its last legs by now.

I gave up on it years ago but then the series with Tommy Pillahs, MadMag and would-be Boris Johnson mistress Lottie was a nice surprise. The one after that was unwatchable though. Will be going into this one with low expectations.

Am more about the Ramsay knock-off one although that was boring AF by the end of the last series (its second series) so am bit anxious there.

It's been axed. I'm genuinely gutted.

[Des Wigwam]

It's been axed. I'm genuinely gutted.

Gah! Likewise. Shame as the contestants did have viable (if not scalable) products and we're on the knife edge of cartoonish and arsehole (exception being that French one who seemed genuinely nice, realistic, and competent).

Plus so sad to lose all those embarrassing dad intros from Gordy.

Edit - just chuckling at his Milk Tray Man swim to shore from a helicopter drop into the sea. And when they let him have a go on a quad bike to  ooohs-and-aaahs as if they were humouring a child.

[Des Wigwam]

Does it check the health of your walnut?

Sadly overlooked by too many men, still.

[Gurke and Hare]

What's going on with Lord Sugar in that photo? That's the best shot they had?

It's a picture of Alan Sugar, it's never going to be great.

I do hope this thread isn't going to be all people telling us that they're above it. We know Sugar and the contestants are all cunts thanks, you don't need to point it out to show how clever you are.

[Catalogue Trousers]

DAN DE DAN DE DAN DE DAN DE DAN DE DAN DE DAN DARE

SIR? I'M A FACKIN LORD MATE

[Blue Jam]

It's a picture of Alan Sugar, it's never going to be great.

Sorry to keep going on about walnuts but Charlie Brooker once described him as looking like "an animatronic walnut" and he wasn't wrong.

[kaprisky]

This year's batch also includes a filmmaker and a couple of DJs/musicians, one of which has had a UK Top 3 single! I bet they'll fail the 'make your own advert' task. (The filmmaker, that is).

[Psybro]

I've watched every series out of the last seven or so, so well after anyone gave a shit, but the last one really did take the fucking biscuit.

COVID also ruined the reaction shots of exasperated punters, which is half the point.

[mjwilson]

All I want is the episode where they dash around a city trying to buy some things. You can leave all the rest.

[EOLAN]

All I want is the episode where they dash around a city trying to buy some things. You can leave all the rest.

It is about the only sighting of old fashioned phone books that we see these days.

[Gurke and Hare]

Not being allowed to use the internet is a realistic business excercise.

[Old Thrashbarg]

I believe Danny Baker writes his jokes...

I don't think he does. And if he ever did it was a long time ago, before his last sacking by the BBC.

[perplexingprocrastinator]

I do hope this thread isn't going to be all people telling us that they're above it. We know Sugar and the contestants are all cunts thanks, you don't need to point it out to show how clever you are.

Quite - the fact that everybody onscreen is a cunt is literally the point of the show. What the fuck would this program be if they were ordinary humble people? The program works because they think they're on a big-boy show about inspirational entrepreneurial Randian supermen, when actually they're on a program about the self-aggrandising delusions of pitiable, empty headed shiny-suit business cunts. And Captain Walnut Amstrad is King of the Cunts.

I mean, they really should have fired him for being a fucking racist, but given that the UK media is awash with outright pieces of shit, he is at least the appropriate piece of shit for this particular job. I don't have a telly any more but if I did, I'd probably still watch this drivel with glee.

[jobotic]

Can't believe this shit is still going.

The only good thing is when Alan tells his shit jokes and clearly doesn't get them.

Anyway I won't be watching as I'm too clever by half. Bye.

[BlodwynPig]

I'm going to watch it, I'm going to get into it, but also it's going to be exactly the same as every other series and I'm tired of it.

Give it up. Step away. Build a village for wild mice

[BlodwynPig]

Can't believe this shit is still going.

The only good thing is when Alan tells his shit jokes and clearly doesn't get them.

Anyway I won't be watching as I'm too clever by half. Bye.

Shouldn't be ashamed of calling trash tv trash

[thr0b]

It's run too long, hasn't it?

[Blue Jam]

Watching the cheesecake one now. For me the main problem is that the candidates are getting too incompetent to be entertaining. No-bake cheesecake isn't even proper cooking and they still fucked it up. I know they're always set up to fail but they're failing too hard and it's getting old fast.

It feels like I'm watching actors who have been instructed to be crap in the hope it'll make for better telly. It's like The X Factor but every contestant is Jedward. It just doesn't work.

[Blue Jam]

Also is £8 for a mini cheesecake daylight robbery or just normal in That London these days? Shows how long it's been since I lived there.

[Paul Calf]

Those sanctimonious pricks at Innocent really wound me up. Their shitty regurgitated fruit drink contains more sugar than Coca-Cola, by whom it is in fact owned.

And "We're passionate about indulgent cheesecake"? Fuck off, you lying swine. They know who you are. They're being filmed by a crew from The Apprentice, which is definitely the only reason they entertained L'Shugga's increasingly tedious mockney bleating to let your worthless carcasses past the front desk.