Football Thread 23-24 Part 2: The VAR Apocalypse

[C_Larence]

ANGE OUT MATE

[Mobius]

Watched that at the pub with a spurs mate. Brilliant.

[dontpaintyourteeth]

are they the real winners today as well

[Chollis]

only natural to get complacent after having the league sewn up within 10 games

[shoulders]

Welcome to Spurs

The match stats don't scream undeserved. Robinson says Wolves don't deserve it. 17 shots vs 6 suggests otherwise.

[Kankurette]

Last weekend I read an article called something like "Why Tottenham Aren't 'Spursy' Anymore".

^{[insert 'that aged well' image]}

Kylerzz made a video about Chelsea's awful start and Spurs' amazing start to the season. Before they played each other. Talk about a jinx.

[Mobius]

Welcome to Spurs

The match stats don't scream undeserved. Robinson says Wolves don't deserve it. 17 shots vs 6 suggests otherwise.

Spurs really did nothing after scoring early on. Wolves must never  look like scoring without Neto but fair fucks I never saw them scoring 2 so late on

[centristmelt]

lol @ Rooney

[Inspector Norse]

Looks like Man Utd have a successor for ten Hag lined up.

[Kankurette]

The Axis of Evil

[El Unicornio, mang]

Lad starting today was born the same year that Casino Royale (the Daniel Craig one) and 300 were released in cinemas. Feel old yet?

[jamiefairlie]

Good to see his mam's pudding bowl is still being put to good use. Keep his feet on the ground.

[Kankurette]

He babey

[jamiefairlie]

How are Crystal Palace mid-table when they lose every week?

[badaids]

Milet

Lad starting today was born the same year that Casino Royale (the Daniel Craig one) and 300 were released in cinemas. Feel old yet?

He looks like he needs to have a homemade catapult sticking out his back pocket.

[Kankurette]

How are Crystal Palace mid-table when they lose every week?

Because the bottom 3 are dreadful.

[badaids]

How are Crystal Palace mid-table when they lose every week?

I've no idea how we beat them, even though we went ahead three times. They totally battered us for most of the match. I've never seen a team dive so much though.

[El Unicornio, mang]

They have somehow managed 5 clean sheets, one more than Man City.

[Gurke and Hare]

Feel old yet?

Er, yeah. For fucking ages. Specifically when Liam Rosenior became a manager. It's one thing when there are players whose dads you remember, it's something else when there are managers.

[Kankurette]

Danny Röhl is 34. You know you're old when managers are younger than you.

Solanke go brrrr

[centristmelt]

We all reach the age when we would have retired in our football alternative-timeline reality. I'm 37 now and I think Qatar 2022 would definitely have been my last World Cup. One final season back at Leeds to take us back up and then into management, I think.

[Kankurette]

What the actual fuck was that penalty run-up from Eze? I half expected a cartoon xylophone to play.

[Menu]

It needs to be stated how good a job Dyche has done at Everton. We've lost our best 5 attacking players over the last 3 years and the team looks lightyears better without them. That's proper coaching. Also he's turned a team with very few likeable players to one that you can properly get behind. Similar to when Moyes arrived in 2002. Hope it continues.

[Kankurette]

An Everton stat from MOTD: they've won three away matches so far this season, which is already more than they won last season.

I repeat: they only won away twice last season.

[Menu]

I think it demonstrates what a good striker DCL is. Just having a proper striker up there who can hold the ball up and bring other players into play makes a huge difference. But he's also really prolific too. Frankly if it wasn't for his injuries he wouldn't be with us. But I'm delighted he is because he seems like a genuinely nice guy too.

[Kankurette]

I have a bit of a soft spot for Calvert-Lewin, although that might be the horny talking. People are so very, very weird about him. On his Instagram, he posted a photo of him and his pregnant girlfriend and there were so many men saying 'I thought you were gay'. Hector Bellerín gets the same.

I wonder how Everton would have done last season if he'd stayed fit. Plus you seem to have more squad depth now.

[Menu]

It's a weird one because I think if he and Townsend had stayed fit, Lampard would still be in a job and we'd be pretty terrible. Sometimes you have to hit rock bottom to get better and we definitely did that. Unbeaten since BK died too.

[DrGreggles]

Not convinced that Calvert-Lewin is any good.
Injured a lot, and doesn't score enough when he isn't.

[jamiefairlie]

I heard his girlfriend and unborn baby are gay and his haircut, but he's not. That's what I heard.

[Kankurette]

Calvert-Lewin's assisted goals as well this season, hasn't he? And Everton relying on one striker in the past has bitten them in the arse. Remember the gigantic Lukaku-shaped hole that was never filled.