The “This’ll be shit, I reckon” thread

[Povidone]

Well the 2011 series had this:

Which might still be the biggest laugh I've had in the last 10 years. Cautiously optimistic.

[Sonny_Jim]

At least Beavis can say 'Fire!' again now

[Dex Sawash]

What names do they use to post here?

[dissolute ocelot]

What names do they use to post here?

I wish Beavis and Butthead brought their insightful cultural commentary here!

_{(Only joking, I love you all. Even 40 year old Daria.)}

[Bad Ambassador]

https://variety.com/2022/film/news/a-haunting-in-venice-kenneth-branagh-poirot-1235398277/

Despite Murder on the Orient Express being pretty crap and Death on the Nile getting very mixed reviews and being a commercial bomb, Branagh's continuing with his vanity project and starring in and directing another Poirot film.

A Haunting in Venice will be loosely adapted from Hallowe'en Party, with the setting moved from the traditional English country house to the city on the lagoon, because no one knows what they're doing. Jamie Dornan, Tina Fey and Michelle Yeoh are co-starring, the latter presumably riding the success of Everything Everywhere All at Once to get a big paycheque, and quite right too, but it would be nice if it were for something that wasn't so obviously going to be shit

[phantom_power]

I thought MotOE was pretty decent, with Branagh being the worst thing in it. Haven't got round to seeing DotN

[13 schoolyards]

I didn't hate Death on the Nile, but that was possibly because the murder didn't happen until around halfway through so I cared slightly more than the usual "not at all" about some of the characters.

Or maybe it was because I knew it'd be the last time I'd see Arnie Hammer alive on the big screen

[Famous Mortimer]

"It Is In Us All".

I wasn't sure whether to laugh or cry at this description.

A formidable man who cares for nothing is forced to confront his self-destructive core when a violent car crash involving a sexually charged boy who epitomizes life, challenges him to face his truth.

Top IMDB review: "an incomprehensible mess".

[dissolute ocelot]

What the fuck is a sexually charged boy?

[BritishHobo]

https://variety.com/2022/film/news/a-haunting-in-venice-kenneth-branagh-poirot-1235398277/

Despite Murder on the Orient Express being pretty crap and Death on the Nile getting very mixed reviews and being a commercial bomb, Branagh's continuing with his vanity project and starring in and directing another Poirot film.

A Haunting in Venice will be loosely adapted from Hallowe'en Party, with the setting moved from the traditional English country house to the city on the lagoon, because no one knows what they're doing. Jamie Dornan, Tina Fey and Michelle Yeoh are co-starring, the latter presumably riding the success of Everything Everywhere All at Once to get a big paycheque, and quite right too, but it would be nice if it were for something that wasn't so obviously going to be shit

I really liked Orient Express, but Nile definitely felt like a victim of its own self-seriousness, Branagh trying a bit too hard to make it Prestige.

Also given quite how many stars of that sequel ended up disgraced or cancelled before it came out, Fey, Dornan and Yeoh should be terrified. Joining a Poirot film could end up being as risky as stepping on a boat with Poirot.

[dead-ced-dead]

Poirot is old news, if you want to be part of an ensemble full of A-listers while an English thesp adopts a ridiculous accent, it's all about Knives Out now.

[SteveDave]

What is point? What is point?

We've already had basically this with Nicolas Cage. IP baby.