The Simpsons: A Journey Through Shit

[H-O-W-L]

Chief. Ralph doing that might actually make some sense and/or wrap around into being funny in a horrendous way.

[buttgammon]

Chief. Ralph doing that might actually make some sense and/or wrap around into being funny in a horrendous way.

That's what I thought - either way would be stupid but Chief is somehow even more inexplicable.

[retsuza]

https://youtu.be/w--VcX3n_7w

Very strange.

[idunnosomename]

You could see everything in the sung intro as Wiggum's fantasy that never happened. He still killed that helicopter pilot though.

The jetpack then destroys the church roof which is the plot of the episode.

[retsuza]

lol I always love the segue into "..and that is the plot of the episode".

I'm begrudgingly listening to some reviews of season 14 episodes and more often than not the background to any given episode plot is that they had two or three ideas for a full one and just sort of integrated them together. Nevermind zombie Simpsons it's straight up Frankenstein's monster Simpsons.

[H-O-W-L]

You could see everything in the sung intro as Wiggum's fantasy that never happened.

He still had desire to commit murder, at the least, and I honestly bet he did it.

[Poirots BigGarlickyCorpse]

https://youtu.be/w--VcX3n_7w

Very strange.

There's not a single joke in that whole sequence.

[idunnosomename]

Well when it almost crashes on the jetpack recycling plant. That's a joke.

But otherwise I agree and it struck me too.

[Poirots BigGarlickyCorpse]

Well when it almost crashes on the jetpack recycling plant. That's a joke.

But otherwise I agree and it struck me too.

I mean... there's bits that are supposed to be jokes but they don't really work? So, Wiggum's afraid to go deal with a sniper and it looks like he panics and makes up a bullshit excuse about needing to be there for a delivery. But after Lou and Eddie run out he makes a sadface and then eats his problems away with a family sized microwave lasagne. So is he sad that he's a coward? Who knows, it doesn't come up in the clip and it apparently isn't the focus of the episode.

Then he's about to eat a second family sized microwave lasagne because haha he's fat when a deliveryman really does show up and there's this back and forth about Wiggum vs Wiggins that goes on for way too long. All it needed to be was "Wiggins? Nah, you've got the wrong guy." "Look pally I got this jetpack for Clancy Wiggins" "ooh yeah I'm Clancy whoever". 24 seconds on this bullshit in an episode with a cold open to stay below the runtime. Also it implies that he really is expecting a delivery, so why did he sound like he was trying to make something up in a panic at the start of the clip.

Better writing: "Chief there's a sniper."
(calmly and lazily) "Good luck out there boys, I have to take care of these quarterly crime figures or else Mayor Quimby will be on my ass."
Lou and Eddie leave, nom nom nom eat microwave crap
"I'm looking for Clancy Wiggins?"
"Nah, you must have the wrong address."
"I've got a jetpack here for Clancy Wiggins"
"YEAH THAT'S ME" cue jetpack adventures

Smashing the car, helicopter and prison wall - okay. Slapstick humour. Helicopters crashing in cartoons always funny. But at this point I'm so annoyed by the previous minute and a half of shitty writing it's hard to muster a smile. "Sky Police" song is grating because it's Chief Wiggum and I'm not meant to listen to his voice for this long. Turning the teenage vandals into chum is unusually gruesome for The Simpsons.

"Take off the jetpack, it's starting to smell" doesn't make any sense because the jetpack is largely composed of metal and shouldn't pick up odours the way fabric does. And then it turns out that Clancy Wiggins got a dust ruffle so Wiggum really was waiting for a delivery of that particular item SO THEN WHY DID HE SOUND LIKE HE WAS TRYING TO BULLSHIT SOMETHING ON THE FLY AT THE START OF THE EPISODE!? "You were the wind beneath my ass" hurr fart joke. "Jetpack Disposal Centre" might mean something if this was an episode involving a jetpack craze among the town. And then it's all a pointless setup for the church burning down.

Better way to make the church burn down that doesn't waste three minutes on unfunny irrelevance: Reverend Lovejoy blesses the church's new fireproof insulation and then lighting strikes the church and it goes up like a tinderbox. BAM into the episode. It absolutely kills me that this episode apparently skips the title sequence and yet they still had to pad the runtime with bullshit about a jetpack. Writers, if your episode is two minutes too short, think of another joke to do with the main A or B plot.

[samadriel]

Wow, that was one monstrous dump of Simpsons. I can't say I look forward to this thread much because I already know how bad the Simpsons is these days, but seeing actual footage of something so poorly prepared made my heart suddenly pound like a jackhammer.

[Poirots BigGarlickyCorpse]

I was just sitting here idly comparing The Simpsons with another 90s behemoth that's still around, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Over the past 35 years TMNT has gone through several different incarnations, including four serialised comic books (counting the Image run separate to the Mirage run), four cartoons, one ill-fated live action series, six movies, one made-for-TV crossover movie, a daily newspaper strip, and a bunch of tie-in and crossover comics. As a result, "canon" has been stripped down to the bare essentials: the Turtles' names, their bandana colours, they have a female friend named April O'Neill, their instructor is a rat named Splinter, they know ninjitsu, they were mutated by special ooze, their main enemy is Shredder. There isn't a ton of "lore" that writers need to include or even honour, if they don't want to, as long as they keep those core elements intact. They can play around with the character dynamics, they can make April a teenager too, they can invent new villains and backstory elements, and any griping from fans of a previous version can be answered with "this is a different version of the TMNT". The one cartoon didn't keep going for thirty-plus years, destroying its own canon in a desperate attempt to stay fresh and please both old and new fans. In conclusion, The Simpsons should've gone off the air twenty years ago and been subsequently rebooted/reinvented/spun off. Shocker, I know.

[JamesTC]

I'd say they should have ended it around Season 11 or 12 and then just made a movie every few years.

I'm not sure any character would really work as a spin-off. They are all so one dimensional, usually by design. Phil Hartman's tragic murder meant we were deprived of the one spin-off which sounded like it could work (talks were apparently happening for a Troy McClure spin-off). If a spin-off happened now it would probably be The Ralph Wiggum Show.

[idunnosomename]

it was already terrible by season 11 but Behind the Laughter was the obvious place to end it.

Phil Hartman's death was just awful. it's quite well documented and hence viscerally so upsetting and I wish I hadn't read about it again. Billy West's Zapp Brannigan was a superb tribute to him though

[Blumf]

...(talks were apparently happening for a Troy McClure spin-off).

Any idea what they'd do in it? Just following a washed up actor?

[Poirots BigGarlickyCorpse]

it was already terrible by season 11 but Behind the Laughter was the obvious place to end it.

Agreed. I wouldn't say it was "terrible" by season 11 but there's been 20+ seasons of shiiiiiiiiiit since then so rose-tinted etc. Still, I'd rather have 11 seasons that get a bit bleh near the end than what we have now.

EDIT:

I'd say they should have ended it around Season 11 or 12 and then just made a movie every few years.

The Flintstones did this, putting out TV movies every few years plus spin-off shows/prequel shows/sequel shows in the 70s, 80s and 90s.

[JamesTC]

Any idea what they'd do in it? Just following a washed up actor?

Now that I look it up, it was a live-action film that Phil Hartman was championing with the writers behind him.

[JamesTC]

Whilst looking up potential Simpsons spin-offs pitched, I saw a Bill Oakley tweet from 2012 which goes through his ten favourite unmade episodes of The Simpsons (some were just pitches and some got to the scripting stage):
"Prince Comes to Springfield" by Conan O'Brien
"Lisa the Scientopteran" by George Meyer
"Homer's $1000 Suit" by Sam Simon
"Homer vs. Dr. Hibbert on the Issue of Race" by Greg Daniels
"Amusement Park" by Matt Groening
"Homer the Narcoleptic" by David X. Cohen
"Bart Gets 144 Jeeps" by Oakley & Josh Weinstein
"Homer Privately Tells Bart He Loves Him Best" by Ken Keeler
"Homer's Sexual Fantasy" by Dan Greaney

I imagine many of these were adapted into other stories. The Scientology one would probably have led to a member of the cast quitting. I can imagine the idea of a Scientology episode fed into the Leader episode. The $1000 suit episode may have been adapted to the episode where Marge gets the expensive suit. I guess 144 jeeps is the next step after a credit card, an elephant and a factory.

The there is this picture posted by Josh Weinstein circa 1996 with some unmade episodes amongst the ideas.

[idunnosomename]

there's a pretty strong torch-passing when Futurama begun during S10 (alongside Maximum Homerdrive, March 28 1999)

S11 has the terrible stinkers like the jockey gnomes, kill the alligator and run, the tomacco one. it's really horrid.

[Wonderful Butternut]

there's a pretty strong torch-passing when Futurama begun during S10 (alongside Maximum Homerdrive, March 28 1999)

S11 has the terrible stinkers like the jockey gnomes, kill the alligator and run, the tomacco one. it's really horrid.

They were that long ago?

Fuck's sake.

[idunnosomename]

Trash of the Titans with U2 in it is from 1998. Beautiful Day and Elevation were two years away (a bit over, actually!).

[JamesTC]

When I rated every episode and did an average for each season, Season 11 and 12 were broadly at 5/10 which is a huge drop on the previous nine seasons but still better than every season that followed. There are still enough episodes I'd miss to justify their existence. Season 13-15 have probably 3 episodes I'd truly miss (I Am Furious (Yellow), Treehouse of Horror XIII and I, (Annoyed Grunt)-Bot). Absolutely nothing after that.

[Leo2112]

https://youtu.be/w--VcX3n_7w

Very strange.

The characterization of Wiggum is so bizarrely off.  Substitute him for Peter Griffin in those scenes and it wouldn't feel out of place.

[Old Nehamkin]

"Prince Comes to Springfield" by Conan O'Brien

If I'm remembering correctly from the commentaries, this episode was scripted to at least a first draft and was set to feature the return of the Leon Kompowsky character from Stark Raving Dad (who this time would be convinced that he was Prince rather than Michael Jackson). Apparently it fell apart because Prince himself was unhappy with the script.

[JamesTC]

Prince loved the script but had a few notes. The notes completely befuddled the writing staff. They then realised the script Prince was reading was a completely different one allegedly written by his chauffeur. When he read the actual script he didn't like it.

[Ferris]

https://youtu.be/w--VcX3n_7w

Very strange.

That is so poor. Everything about it screams laziness - there's a wanted poster in the police station and it's a picture of Fat Tony. Lazy, lazy ...and then a non-speaking[nb]why pay Joe Mantegna as a guest actor when you don't have anything worthwhile for the regular cast to say?[/nb] appearance of Fat Tony escaping from prison. So why is he "wanted" if he's in jail? I suppose that would require someone who works on the show to care about what they were doing.

Throw in (2 lots of!) casual firearms use for chuckles and a bizarrely off-tone gag about killing people with fans and you've got a recipe for disaster. There's so much wrong about that (not to mention the woeful vocal performances). Shoddy and bad.

[Catalogue Trousers]

Leo2112 is spot on. The whole thing is a Family Guy cutaway gag. Just like the latter-day ones that become several minutes long and just not funny (i.e. any past series three).

[idunnosomename]

There's even a little bone sticking out of the red mush in case there's any doubt

[buttgammon]

There's even a little bone sticking out of the red mush in case there's any doubt

Ben Garrison can get a gig animating for them.

[JamesTC]

Season 24 - Episode 5 - Penny-Wiseguys

The Pin Pals are playing the Holy Rollers at bowling. The Pin Pals have a new member in Dan Gillick. Dan gets a call before throwing his last ball, so has to leave suddenly. Turns out he works for Fit Tony as an accountant. Fit Tony needs to do jury duty, so he names Dan as the temporary replacement, which is the plot of the episode.

The mafia men are all mean to Dan. At Elementary School, there is a school concert. Luann Van Houten is trying to slit her wrists. Homer has an anvil fall on his head. Lisa faints on stage and has an iron deficiency. The iron pills make a metallic sound whenever they are dropped because they are made of iron. Lunch lady Doris offers Lisa some food, but it turns out to be beetle mush. Lisa is conflicted because she promised Paul McCartny that she wouldn't eat meat. The guys at Moe's are annoyed at Dan for losing them the bowling game. The guys convince Dan to be domineering.

Lisa is eating bugs with Professor Frink, Lunch Lady Doris, Cletus, Old Jewish Guy and the one-armed guy. Dan is domineering to the mafia men, and it seems to work. Lisa is growing grasshoppers in the basement but Snowball II knocks the whole bag of eggs in with some miracle grow and some Higgs Boson. Marge offers Lisa some shrimp at the dinner table and she is tempted, but Santa's Little Helper eats it from her fork and then humps Grandpa's leg.

Dan discusses people not needed in the business anymore to cut costs. Fit Tony instructs him to have them killed. Lisa has a dream that she is riding a giant grasshopper, but the grasshopper and a giant ant complain about her eating them. Lisa instructs Bart to release her grasshoppers into the wild. Bart accidentally drops them and releases them all into the basement.

Dan is hiding in Homer's car. He asks Homer to stop Dan from killing the people as he wants to do it because it is a good business model. Homer ties up Dan in the basement to stop him. Loads of grasshoppers pop out and cover him. Homer is watching TV with Bart and the screams on the TV mask Dan screaming in the basement. Homer eventually finds Dan covered in grasshoppers and releases him. Dan instructs Homer at gunpoint to get on his knees in order to give him time to escape as he knows it will take Homer a long time to get up.

Homer follows Dan to all of his potential victims, but Homer manages to stop him at each one. They fight over the gun and it fires and goes all the way to the Kwik E Mart and shoots... Snake? What?

Lisa releases all the grasshoppers into a corn maze and they eat all the corn. Fit Tony reveals they have cut costs by reducing their number of guns to just one which he has and will not let anybody else use. Dan now works for an ear-piercing stall at the mall because he gets to use a gun. Chief Wiggum wants his belly button pierced. Credits roll.

3/10 - There was a moment where I thought the plots might merge in a Seinfeld-esque way but they just didn't. It served no story purpose to have Dan covered in grasshoppers and the resolution to Lisa's plot was piss poor.

[JamesTC]

I was just going to watch one episode but "Homer gets a Mapple MyPad" is such a pathetic plot that I might as well get it out the way.

Season 24 - Episode 6 - A Tree Grows in Springfield

Homer is dreaming he is playing baseball. The commentators are all food and have food family. The pitcher is Steroid Santa. Homer hits the ball into the sky which breaks it and the ocean floods the stadium and drowns him. Homer wakes up in the garden as it is raining. The roof is leaking and they have carpet mushrooms. Santa's Little Helper eats a carpet mushroom and gets high. Homer goes to Moe's for some quiet contemplation. Homer reveals his is in an abusive relationship with life. Moe tries to cheer Homer up by bringing Duff Man to the bar but Homer just depresses him. Bad things keep piling up for Homer including Santa's Little Helper getting the mumps which will cost $800 to fix.

The family now have to go to a school fundraiser. Homer wins a Mapple MyPad which cheers him up. Steve Mobbs talks to Homer from beyond the grave through the Mapple MyPad. Homer is enjoying his Mapple MyPad. Marge finds the Pringles man sexy. Lenny is chatting with Homer on his Mapple MyPad while skydiving but forgets to pull the cord so he probably dies. Homer is playing Angry Pigs on his Mapple MyPad while driving and nearly running people over, but then it pulls back to reveal it was actually a game called Distracted Driver that Homer is playing whilst him and Marge are being audited. Homer uses his Mapple MyPad to translate Burns' old-timey way of speaking. Homer takes a picture of Bart cuddling with a lion using his Mapple MyPad. Homer uses his Mapple MyPad to play a game in which you make pizza and he becomes obsessed. I am starting to wonder if this is the plot of the episode. Mapple MyPad.


Mapple MyPad. Homer falls into a manhole and breaks his Mapple MyPad. An alligator called Flushy that Homer bought for Bart for his 8th Birthday walks up to him and he instructs it to go and get help. Homer wakes up in hospital, and he is depressed that his Mapple MyPad is broken. Flanders informs Homer that there is a miracle in the garden. A tree has "HOPE" written in it in sap. Homer tries to eat the miracle. Homer instructs everybody at the church to see his miracle. Kent Brockman wants to debunk the "miracle". The news copter flies over the city with infrared showing Lenny hanging by his parachute, and then reveals that the "HOPE" was written by somebody on the tree using maple syrup. Homer is depressed again but then Marge says something. Turns out Homer written the words while sleepwalking. Steve Mobbs is in heaven and God has a Mapple MyPad. A Happy Little Elf saves a Malibu Stacey from a giant Funzo in a logo world.

2/10 - Mapple MyPad