More info about GB News shows.

[Ferris]

See who's the latest "biggest name in politics, sport, entertainment and more" to appear on GB News. Only the fucking Krankies! (The Fucking Krankies is their nightclub act.) Should you want to know what they said: the Scottish Daily Express reported they are anti Scottish independence and the tall one said

Eerily close to what Mickey Pearce was saying a week or two ago.

These people are walking around with vacuums in their heads, eager to absorb the latest tabloid narrative, and repeat almost verbatim. In the mid '00s it was political correctness, 2010s was immigration, then brexit, 2020s looks like it's gonna be "woke".

[Kankurette]

It's got nothing to do with 'woke', the Krankies are just terminally unfunny.

[Alberon]

New Statesman's article about behind the scenes at GB News.

https://www.newstatesman.com/long-reads/2022/04/were-going-to-disrupt-a-year-inside-gb-news

[Ambient Sheep]

That was a good read, thanks!

[Ferris]

Yeah some really choice quotes in that. I lost connection and it knackered my post, but the stuff about producers hiring their mums to be interviewees and "which cunt had my squash?!" were highlights.

[Kankurette]

GB News denied this, saying: "Our strategy is to be the antithesis of hate and anger. We take great pride in hosting viewpoints from across the political spectrum."

Bullshit.

[Pink Gregory]

They really do take that Goebbels thing to heart, don't they.  Accuse the enemy of that which you are guilty and all that.

[Ambient Sheep]

New Statesman's article about behind the scenes at GB News.

https://www.newstatesman.com/long-reads/2022/04/were-going-to-disrupt-a-year-inside-gb-news

Yeah some really choice quotes in that. I lost connection and it knackered my post, but the stuff about producers hiring their mums to be interviewees and "which cunt had my squash?!" were highlights.

Just seen this, from last week's Popbitch:

There was a great long read about the tumultuous first year of GB News in the New Statesman this week, which saw a load of former and current staffers lining up to spill the beans on what it's been like working at the fledgling channel.

One thing we were pleased to see the piece touch on was the whiff of love that's been in the air. We've written before that things have been getting noticeably horny at GB News as time goes on – with accounts of a few different interoffice romances sparking up.

And although the New Statesman piece has a number of great quotes in it, the greatest line we've heard being uttered in the GB News studio was:

"If [X] doesn't fuck me tonight, I'm going to do the splits in his face."

[The Ombudsman]

"If x doesn't fuck me tonight, I'm going to do the splits in his face."

Why did my mind go straight to Farage?

I didn't want to see that mental image. That's twice now. Once reading it in the newsletter and again here. It will only help me by knowing others will see this too now.

[Huxleys Babkins]

Trying to think of the logistics of doing the splits in someone's face.

[Sebastian Cobb]

Trying to think of the logistics of doing the splits in someone's face.

It's probably easier if the other person is lying down.

[Huxleys Babkins]

It's probably easier if the other person is lying down.

Yeah, but how are you going to engineer getting a colleague to lay down unless you've already gotten them into bed?

First aid course, but you'll have at least the instructor in the room.

You could trip them down some stairs, but they'd probably be too dazed and in pain to notice you spreading your legs.

No, I'm afraid the only way this could work is if the person is either very short or sat down and you're that one off Pussycat Dolls.

[Sebastian Cobb]

Maybe it's like a flying-kick but legs akimbo so the 'splitter' ends up flying fanny first into the target at head height. If so, I hope they've practised landing techniques.

[Huxleys Babkins]

Of course. Straight out of the Anne Diamond playbook.

[Bigfella]

Farage has just politely fucked off Paisley's son.  Brexit is now splitting the loyalists.

[petril]

Why did my mind go straight to Farage?

yeah but whose face tho?

[The Ombudsman]

yeah but whose face tho?

Why must you insist on me reliving this memory.

Bit worried I like it now.

[Cold Meat Platter]

aah hahahaha

[Blumf]

I'll take "Things that didn't happen" for 100, Alex.

[TrenterPercenter]

Yes obvious bullshit is obvious bullshit.  "Oh get out of my salon I refuse to shave off that tiny bit of hair at the back of your head"

[Fambo Number Mive]

Conservatives desperate to be seen as the underdog again.

Is that a tiny jar of Marmite?

[jobotic]

If it was real he'd be naming the hairdresser's

[frajer]

Yeah and it wouldn't be a calm "can you believe it" recounting. It'd be apoplectic with rage and @'ing the salon, the hairdresser and the local constabulary.

[Fambo Number Mive]

If it isn't real, did he ask the hairdresser to give him an uneven hairline? What excuse would he have used?

[PlanktonSideburns]

If it isn't real, did he ask the hairdresser to give him an uneven hairline? What excuse would he have used?

Cut a bit of his own hair off for the story I recon

It's not even going to be particularly noticeable. If I was cutting a gbbies head I'd just run the buzzer up the back

[Bently Sheds]

Perhaps his cordless clippers ran out of juice halfway through a home haircut & he didn't want to admit to the GBNews viewer that his mum still cuts his hair...

[Cold Meat Platter]

If I was cutting a gbbies head I'd just run the buzzer up the back

Cock and balls shaved in back of head

[Harry Badger]

[Harry Badger]

 dp

[Fambo Number Mive]

GB News will be broadcasting live coverage of the Twelfth of July parades in Northern Ireland, with commentary from Arlene Foster. BBC Northern Ireland will no longer be broadcasting the parades live apparently.

So I presume the channel will gain quite a few viewers in Northern Ireland for one day.