Cricket 2021: Paedoph with the England test team

[Inspector Norse]

Does make you wonder what the rest of them were doing while Root, Jimmy, GARRY, Travis and Carey were boozing it up.
Stokes and Warner camping out in the woods drinking moonshine and hunting marsupials.
Cummins sipping a fine whisky by the bar, a society lady making eyes at him.
Boland takes Robinson and Wood to a hoedown where they wear Stetsons and get in a pool-cue-smashing brawl with some local types.
Woakes reading a bedtime story for Green and Pope then tucking them in with some cocoa.
Marnus and Crawley absolutely rekt on benzies, losing their weekend in Hobart's most extreme underground nitespots.

[Psybro]

Can't believe they would carry on like this whilst Andrew mourns alone.

[FalknerHinton]

Good time to revisit the BBC Pundits series predictions for the Ashes where most of them were predicting a 2-2

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/cricket/59491001

He got the score wrong, but to be fair to Tufnell he was right about this

Are England going to get to 400 or 500 often enough? No.

[shoulders]

Are England going to get to 250 often enough

[FalknerHinton]

Well quite. If he wanted to be really accurate he could have literally halved his expectations, but still.

[sevendaughters]

Good desolate article by BBC where they debate who should get an England call-up: the friend of a rapist, the spinner with the 43 average, or some batsmen who average 30.

[sevendaughters]

and also no mention of Alex Davies who has a 35 average and has opened the batting most of his career.

[Crenners]

YABBA TIER

[Inspector Norse]

Good desolate article by BBC where they debate who should get an England call-up: the friend of a rapist, the spinner with the 43 average, or some batsmen who average 30.

There are gazillions of ideas for how to improve things but one I like is giving Lions players semi-centralised contracts and pulling them out of domestic or franchise cricket to go on tour and learn the game and conditions against other countries' A teams and first-class sides. Get some tough, serious coaches in who can go with them and work during their downtime.

Who are the best players in county cricket, under 30 and untainted by test failure? I don't really watch it but if you follow the stats and reports you're looking at who?

Alex Lees
Jake Libby
Tom Haines
Josh Bohannon
Joe Clarke (if he can behave)
Sam Hain
Tom Abell
Harry Brook
Jamie Smith (wk)
Alex Davies (wk)
Ryan Higgins
Liam Norwell
Sam Cook
Saqib Mahmood
Jordan Thompson
Ben Coad
Bryson Carse
Matt Parkinson

Could the right coaching and experience turn some of that gang into test players?

[shoulders]

Good desolate article by BBC where they debate who should get an England call-up: the friend of a rapist, the spinner with the 43 average, or some batsmen who average 30.

Capped off by Farbrace talking about bringing Sibley back

[shoulders]

Good result for Zimbabwe incoming here, scoring 300+ against SL in SL and it looks like they are just about defending it.

Probably ought to have won the 1st odi as well.

[sevendaughters]

I can't offer a perspective on all of these, but let me just outline a general feeling for those that I can (Lancs players mainly)

Matt Parkinson - his best bet is to be the inheritor of Rashid's mantle as white ball kingpin. I think he is a better ripper of the ball than Leach and has a better first-class average on a less helpful wicket. His strike rate is higher too. He has a perceived as expensive and reputation for not being a control bowler (despite a very similar economy to Leach) and because he bowls slower than your average off-spinning darter is thought to be a candidate for a Kerriganing at test level. His real problem is to be a leg spinner and be English. I think he'd be playing test cricket if he were Indian or Australian. Maybe not successfully, but he'd have had at least as many caps as Ashton Agar has.

Josh Bohannon - A former bits-and-pieces all-rounder who has improved immeasurably with the bat. Best average in the CC last year by an English player under 30 who played 10 games after Jake Libby. More on that convoluted stat soon. He's a fighter and has a positive approach, but can dig in (not many players faced more balls last season). If he had another good season I would pick him at six.

Saqib Mahmood - frighteningly quick but I sense the red ball game is not for him. Occasionally one-dimensional, scattergun, and prone to being carted by batsmen not at test calibre.

Haines and Libby both faced tons of balls last season and made runs. Lees seems to have improved outside of the Yorkshire pigpen.

There is also the matter of David Bedingham, who is a SA player naturalising here. He made 3 centuries and a boatload of runs at 60 for Durham last season. They've gambled on him because the Kolpak entry doesn't exist anymore so he will have a county next season ahead of his final year of qualification. He averages 48 in first class cricket and is one of the few people who seems able to convert his starts.

There are a couple of other wildcards like Kiran Carlson (who is only 23 and had a good season).

However, the top 2 England qualified batsmen in the CC last year: Pope and Malan, both of whom averaged in the 70s.

[shoulders]

https://www.theguardian.com/sport/blog/2022/jan/18/not-all-failings-of-englands-test-team-can-be-blamed-on-county-cricket

[shoulders]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/cricket/60050911

In a dead rubber of a load of turd

[mattyc]

Changing the subject: Does anyone else here have a Battrick team?

[FalknerHinton]

I'd not heard of Battrick until now, so I'll have a team as soon as I can think up a suitably amusing team name.

[mattyc]

I'd not heard of Battrick until now, so I'll have a team as soon as I can think up a suitably amusing team name.

Give me a shout and we'll arrange some friendlies!

[shoulders]

Nice to read Matt Prior actually making an obvious point about English cricket being essentially classist and all about money rather than talent.

The opposite of Ramprakash's horrid patrician view.

[FalknerHinton]

Give me a shout and we'll arrange some friendlies!

As soon as I've worked out how it works I certainly shall!

Nice to read Matt Prior actually making an obvious point about English cricket being essentially classist and all about money rather than talent.

The opposite of Ramprakash's horrid patrician view.

That Ramprakash article the other week was odd wasn't it? Goodness knows I don't rate Buttler as a Test batsman, but it definitely felt like some confidences were being betrayed in his hurry to chuck Buttler under several busses.

e: In case anyone missed it

[rjd2]

Amusingly despite India been the home of the IPL, their limited overs team looks so stale these days .

Its old, the quicks lack pace and batting not positive enough.

Thakur can smash it but he is a wretched bowler in this format, and while Bhuvi was once a gun he is absolutely cooked at this level.

[king_tubby]

BT and TalkSport? Fuck you very much, ECB!!!

[king_tubby]

T20? More like U16.

[Crenners]

Based

[Pranet]

BT and TalkSport? Fuck you very much, ECB!!!

Presumably it is Cricket West Indies who made those decisions.

Can't believe there is more cricket already. They should give it a rest for a bit I reckon.

[Inspector Norse]

To be fair it is a completely different team and there's a month's break before the test players go out there for a three-test series, which given the gonzo horrors that are the two batting lineups will be lucky to amount to even seven days' worth of actual play.

[Crenners]

Roy trying to demonstrate his opener credentials for the Test side here.

[ElTwopo]

Is Livingstone injured? Seems mad to leave him out if he isn't.

[Inspector Norse]

Been ill, should be back for the third game.

[ElTwopo]

Ah cheers. Look forward to him proving his interests are strictly MILF-related in the next game. 

[Crenners]

This is more like it, kicking these right in the bollocks.