Keith Allen

[Twonty Gostelow]

Please add 'Misunderstood Genius' to the poll.

[PowerButchi]

No.

[Lisa Jesusandmarychain]

He's a fine screen actor. Excellent in the recent The Pembrokeshire Murders, but I suspect people would rather chat about him being a cunt twenty odd years ago for some reason.

I'm assuming he doesnae go naked and get his cock out in that. He used to be quite fond of that sort of stuff in his more youthful years.

[Lisa Jesusandmarychain]

I'm assuming he doesnae go naked and get his cock out in that. He used to be quite fond of that sort of stuff in his more youthful years.

ETA: Written before I saw what one or two other posters done put up.

[Lisa Jesusandmarychain]

And his tend to be the shittest too.

"The Yob" is easily one of the worst "Comic Strip Presents..." , outdone in the unfunny shiteness stakes only by that 'un with Peter Capaldi.

[Ray Travez]

Can't remember where I read this, it's from an interview with one of them, probably Alex James. Allen, Hirst and James are worried they might be a little bit gay, so they devise a test. They put their cocks in each other's mouths for, I dont know, 30 seconds. If they don't get a hard-on with another man's lips around their bell, then they can't be gay, right? Not even a bit. Brilliant!

It's probably the gayest bit of homophobia I've ever heard.

[Pink Gregory]

Does a good turn as a prickly drunk bastard (Nick Helm's dad) in Uncle.

Hardly playing against type, but good

[turnstyle]

Please add 'Misunderstood Genius' to the poll.

Done.

[Twonty Gostelow]

Can't remember where I read this, it's from an interview with one of them, probably Alex James. Allen, Hirst and James are worried they might be a little bit gay, so they devise a test. They put their cocks in each other's mouths for, I dont know, 30 seconds. If they don't get a hard-on with another man's lips around their bell, then they can't be gay, right? Not even a bit. Brilliant!

It's probably the gayest bit of homophobia I've ever heard.

Presumably all too drunk to get it up anyway, so doesn't count.

[Twonty Gostelow]

Done.

Nice.

[buzby]

Pondered this in another thread, but isn't Blur's 'Charmless Man' supposed to be about Allen?

Albarn is quoted as saying it was inspired by grafitti seen on the wall of Grantham station's toilet while up there visiting his gran.

I've often suspected as much, especially given they cast a fella that looks suspiciously like him in the video.

The bloke in the video doesn't look that much like him, other than having a skinhead. Allen 'starred' in the video for Country House though, which was directed by his Groucho (and eventual Fat Les) chum Damien Hirst. Apart from James (who remained their bessie mate and part of the Groucho set), the rest of the band soon came to despise Hirst, Allen and the video and divorced themselves from the Groucho scene (this interview from the August 1999 issue of Select has some very stong comments from Albarn, Rowntree and Coxon about Hirst, Allen and the making of the video).

no, both Charmless AND Country House are about Food head honcho Dave Balfe

Country House is definitely about Balfe. The character described in Charmless Man doesn't match Balfe at all (he wasn't public school educated or living off an inheritance). From the lyrics I can see why Charmless Man could be about Allen, as it's certainly describing the sort of person you might find at the Groucho and Allen did go to a private boarding school, but his parents weren't that wealthy (his dad was a Royal Navy officer). Given Albarn's feelings about Allen after the experience of making the Country House video it would fit too, but I believe the song was written long before Country House's single release.

I've given my 2p's worth on Keith Fucking Allen on here before (and here). I will expand on the Ruined In A Day video he directed for New Order though - it's the only one of their promos that they haven't uploaded on their official youtube channel. The O-Zone did a 'making of' segment for it which is on Youtube though.

[jobotic]

Allen, Hirst, James. Albarn, the Groucho. Can't imagine spending one second in the company of these fucking awful people. Might as well go out with some City boys.

No, Albarn's different and he's an artist and knows Banksy or whatever. Bollocks.

[Pavlov`s Dog`s Dad`s Dead]

In And Away, Bob Mortimer reckons to be bezzie mates with Damien Hirst. Is that the Yin¹ to Allen's Yang?

¹Does anyone know how Billy Connolly views Hirst?

[dissolute ocelot]

He's fine as an actor within his range (although I'm not sure I'd cast him to play Irving Berlin), and I'm sure he's a lovely man in person who collects Victorian flower photography and owns a lot of Virago paperbacks. I hate everything he represents, the laddish, football-loving, lairy, Loaded, Oasis, thing, but I hate a billion other people for the exact same reason, and it's not as if he's Richard Allen. Apparently he did something with his daughter called Who Invented Poo? Which seems a valid inquiry.

[Lisa Jesusandmarychain]

He's fine as an actor within his range (although I'm not sure I'd cast him to play Irving Berlin), and I'm sure he's a lovely man in person who collects Victorian flower photography and owns a lot of Virago paperbacks. I hate everything he represents, the laddish, football-loving, lairy, Loaded, Oasis, thing, but I hate a billion other people for the exact same reason, and it's not as if he's Richard Allen. Apparently he did something with his daughter called Who Invented Poo? Which seems a valid inquiry.

That's not the song title, but a line nicked from his mate Alex Cheesetory from Blur, from that interview where a massively coked up Dave Rowntree was acting the cunt with a deliberately irksome but remarkably tolerant interviewer. Reliable old Keith delivers the line very camply, to the extent that you could even be fooled into thinking he's one of those men who likes other men's bottoms!
I remember reading a line delivered in one of his interviews: " Yes, I've got a mortgage- It's called my talent."., and thinking what a likeable, modest feller he came across as.

[Brundle-Fly]

He's fine as an actor within his range (although I'm not sure I'd cast him to play Irving Berlin), and I'm sure he's a lovely man in person who collects Victorian flower photography and owns a lot of Virago paperbacks. I hate everything he represents, the laddish, football-loving, lairy, Loaded, Oasis, thing, but I hate a billion other people for the exact same reason, and it's not as if he's Richard Allen. Apparently he did something with his daughter called Who Invented Poo? Which seems a valid inquiry.

Richard Allen was very right wing though. Keith Allen claims to be a staunch socialist.

[Brundle-Fly]

In And Away, Bob Mortimer reckons to be bezzie mates with Damien Hirst. Is that the Yin¹ to Allen's Yang?

Cuddly Bob Mortimer was pure Groucho Club in the 90s/00s.

[Brundle-Fly]

I'm assuming he doesnae go naked and get his cock out in that. He used to be quite fond of that sort of stuff in his more youthful years.

He's from an era where many comedians got in the naughty naked nude for a laugh.

[Glebe]

Albarn is quoted as saying it was inspired by grafitti seen on the wall of Grantham station's toilet while up there visiting his gran.

Intriguing!

[Replies From View]

Any man who'll proudly pop his cock in your pint and not offer to pay for its replacement needs rushing to the front of the AIDS queue.

[Huxleys Babkins]

He's very good at playing "slimy London cunt with a briefcase" and does so with aplomb in 24 Hour Party People, Shallow Grave and Trainspotting.

[sovietrussia]

Of course, you can't have a Keith Starmer Allen thread without trotting out this old chestnut.

[gilbertharding]

As well as all the obvious stuff, I always remember his appearance on TFI Friday one night in the late 1990s when Chris Evans, interviewing him, tried to get some bRiLliAnT!! laddish anecdotes out of him about his time in prison (21 days in Pentonville for criminal damage to a nightclub, since you asked).

More surprising was his response, which was to look very embarrassed, mumbling something about being ashamed and how prison has absolutely nothing to recommend it, not even as an experience.

Brilliantly, Evans refused to take the hint - in fact seemed completely oblivious - and kept trying to jolly a story out of him.

I'm with Lisa JaMC - he's alright in stuff, but I wouldn't want to be stuck in a lift with him.

[buzby]

Of course, you can't have a Keith Starmer Allen thread without trotting out this old chestnut.

The full clip (from Danny Baker's segment of TV Hell) is here:

It was an unbroadcast pilot for a strand of The Late Show called Comedy Cafe which also featured Tariq Ali, Vic Reeves, Charlie Higson and Morwenna Banks (who also got drunk and had to keep going off to be sick). Allen says to Tariq Ali that he has a vindaloo on his shoulder, rather than a chip - classy.

Apparently Allen said the "I AM A TORY AND LOVE COCAINE" t-shirt got him a lot of stick at the time because nobody could see it also said "I AM A SOCIALIST AND I SELL IT" on the back. However, the video evidence shows that was a load of horseshit.

[gilbertharding]

"I AM A TORY AND I DO COKE" is a great t shirt slogan (provided you're not, in fact, a Tory who does coke), to be fair.

I'm no puritan, but socialists (and environmentalists for that matter) who can't see what's wrong with doing coke aren't socialists at all.

[Fr.Bigley]

Once nudged me off the communal piano at latitude one year, had his friends in tow looked at me with that "you know who I am" shite and sat on the stool effectively ousting me off.


Mega Cunt.

[Pimhole]

He has a very small winkie, that might explain some of it.

Also cocaine is basically Instant Arsehole Powder but it really doesn't help if you're already fully arsehole even before you start.

However, he is a very good actor. You can see he is miles better than the rest of the Comic Strip team (except Coltrane) in earlier things like A Fistful of Travellers' Cheques and Gino. A very natural talent.

[Tony Yeboah]

A good idea is a good idea forever.

[Ron Maels Moustache]

He's very good at playing "slimy London cunt with a briefcase" and does so with aplomb in 24 Hour Party People, Shallow Grave and Trainspotting.

He's the same character in Trainspotting & Shallow Grave, isn't he?

[lipsink]

I remember in the early 90s I would see him in stuff like 'World In Motion', Glastonbury coverage and Shallow Grave but could never work out what the fuck he was supposed to be famous for, originally. He's sort of an actor but he's not really in much? He's not really even in that many Comic Strip Presents... episodes.