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The Apprentice S16 - In this boardroom you don't get furloughed, you get fired...

Started by Malcy, December 12, 2021, 01:51:17 AM

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Alberon


Blue Jam


touchingcloth

I find the omertà that exists in the boardroom and on You're Fired really weird.

Why does no one say "you know you make us do the focus groups after the pitches? You know you stop us communicating during the tasks, or accessing the internet? You know you get us to give you our business plans at the start rather than end of the process? I feel like you're setting us up to fail. Maybe you should get fired"?

Do people actually say that and it all gets edited out? Are they threatened with sleeping with the fishes if they ever speak those thoughts? Given offers they can't refuse?

Baffling.


Alberon


Dr Rock


Jasha

Are those Irish glasses trendy nowadays then? they look like something from 1985

Milo

The focus group kids were quite extraordinarily weird. I know it's quite self-selecting as no normal parents of normal children are putting their kids into focus groups but they were seriously odd.

BritishHobo

Quote from: Gurke and Hare on January 13, 2022, 09:53:12 PMThis might be the worst task ever. How are you supposed to use an app - that he specified should be as interactive as possible - while you're brushing your teeth anyway?

It's definitely rigged. Ask the teams to design something absolutely stupid and pointless, and then when they muddle through and deliver whatever shit they can, go "WHAT THE BLAHDDY HELL WERE YOU THINKING, THESE ARE ABSOLUTELY STUPID AND POINTLESS!"


Dr Rock

I bet they were better at defining a word they knew than the Bouji woman.

touchingcloth

"I quite like the toothbrush but I think it would be better to be marketed to kids that are a bit more bouji, and my parents and I love our bamboo toothbrushes too much. I'm also concerned about the battery in the electric toothbrush containing exploitatively mined lithium."

Jasha

Nice to see the return of a turd though, not a poo or a poop or faeces but a good old fashioned turd

Ray Travez

Quote from: touchingcloth on January 15, 2022, 10:36:37 AM"I quite like the toothbrush but I think it would be better to be marketed to kids that are a bit more bouji, and my parents and I love our bamboo toothbrushes too much. I'm also concerned about the battery in the electric toothbrush containing exploitatively mined lithium."

Haha!

"Furthermore, as I am now five years of age, I have outgrown the need for these gimmicky fripperies; they would be better suited to a younger demographic I think you'll find."

Hat FM

also, its an old one but i love the fact they had about a day to sort the design and all that then the 'experts' come along and pour over the detail as if the product has been in development for a year. alright then mate!

rue the polywhirl

Very sad to hear that Marty Feldman has left the Apprentice. They had a very vital contribution to the series telling other people that their ideas were wrong and that their ideas were better if they had any.

sevendaughters

I don't usually watch Thaprrentiss but Mrs 7D had it on and immediately I spotted Navid (the one who looks like a 70s billionaire on his yacht) from a couple of other reality shows. One was about scions of enormous wealth and the other was Eating with my Ex. His 'ex' was a sour-faced model who claimed they'd never actually had a relationship and it turns out he is one of those those kinds of Michael Jackson fans. Proper gelatinous failson vibe about him.

Dr Rock

This is easily my favourite task - people without a spark of natural creativity or design skills coming up with laughably bad ideas, usually believed to be flawless by whoever birthed the monstrosity. I'd like a separate show where this was the format every week.

Blue Jam

Quote from: sevendaughters on January 18, 2022, 08:45:38 PMI don't usually watch Thaprrentiss but Mrs 7D had it on and immediately I spotted Navid (the one who looks like a 70s billionaire on his yacht) from a couple of other reality shows.

Reality TV agencies innit?

On that topic, the new series of Channel 4's Celebs Go Dating features none other than Mad Mag himself- Ryan-Mark Parsons! YESSSSSSS!

Blue Jam


Blue Jam

Love the industry peeps sniffing the drinks before tasting them.

Spoiler alert
A drink should not be the colour of piss, guys.
[close]

Gurke and Hare

Quote from: Blue Jam on January 20, 2022, 11:11:05 PMLove the industry peeps sniffing the drinks before tasting them.

And all using the very technical industry term, "the liquid".

Blue Jam

Loved the mention of "Hypothetical orders". Nice bit of legal arse-covering: "Disclaimer: This is all pretend. We at ASDA would never actually stock this crap."

touchingcloth

Quote from: Blue Jam on January 20, 2022, 11:23:56 PMLoved the mention of "Hypothetical orders". Nice bit of legal arse-covering: "Disclaimer: This is all pretend. We at ASDA would never actually stock this crap."

Yeah, they've never explicitly said that before, have they? I wonder if OFCOM have rapped their knuckles or something, because I did used to wonder where these thousands of tons of shit sweets and perfumes or whatever were actually being stocked. Tesco, Oxenholme. Surprised none of them tried using this as a tactic - "fancy a hypothetical ten million units? I'll wank you off if you agree, hypothetically of course."

The guy who got fired last night was the world's most insufferable bell end. I like people who have to tell you that they have a strong personality.

Alberon

He was such a strange one. I thought they'd keep him on a few more weeks.
Spoiler alert
Cruise director jackets, those awful tinted glasses and teeth that looked like joke shop plastic vampire ones without the fangs.
[close]

Uncle TechTip

It's apt given that the big prize is a hypothetical business partnership with Shuggs.

Alberon

That bit with Shama at the start was a bit weird. Why'd she have to get up at the crack of dawn, journey all the way to the place where the task is given out and only then say she was leaving the show?

It was all shonkily scripted and shot. Shuggs didn't even seem to be shooting his part of it there on the same day she was.

touchingcloth

I like how no one for the past 3 or more series has had anything even resembling an interesting business plan.

"What's yer plan?"

"Well I own a tinpot shop, so my business plan is a chain of tinpot shops."

thr0b

Quote from: Alberon on Yesterday at 10:48:03 AMThat bit with Shama at the start was a bit weird. Why'd she have to get up at the crack of dawn, journey all the way to the place where the task is given out and only then say she was leaving the show?

It was all shonkily scripted and shot. Shuggs didn't even seem to be shooting his part of it there on the same day she was.

I suspect had she not walked, there would have been a double-firing, given that Pharmacist was a Bit Crap, and the team leader behaved appallingly in the board room. 100% reprieved by needing to keep the numbers up for a couple more weeks, not by being any good or showing any competence.

touchingcloth

It's not often candidates come across as bigger cunts on You're Fired than the show proper, but he managed it. He said "honey child, girl you doing ok, chirrrrrrrp" about seventeen times, which he says is the kind of thing the rap singers do these days.