Fellating domestic appliances

[Cerys]

The appliance in question is a tumble dryer, and the fellatio occurred with the aid of an old hose. Is this a bad thing?  Asking for a friend.

[Endicott]

How old is this appliance?

[All Surrogate]

... and was it consensual?

[Sebastian Cobb]

I gave my fridge a good fingering the other day, right in the drain hole.

[shoulders]

Can't afford and have no space for such an appliance so have to resort to sucking people off in car parks while imagining it's a sexy tumble dryer unit.

[Cerys]

I gave my fridge a good fingering the other day, right in the drain hole.

Sometimes it just has to be done.  The tumble dryer is under ten years old, but I could tell it was up for a good sucking when all the juice started seeping out and it stopped drying clothes.  It wasn't so much consensual as necessary.

Uh - that is - my friend knew it had to be done.  Yes.

[Endicott]

Ah. So outside the guarantee period, then. Even with an extended warranty.

Under those circumstances, remember though I am not a lawyer, but I think you (I mean, your friend) can pretty much do what you want <unsmiley face here>

[Blumf]

Did youyour friend empty the lint trap afterwards?

[Butchers Blind]

#Mieletoo

[Cerys]

Ah. So outside the guarantee period, then. Even with an extended warranty.

Under those circumstances, remember though I am not a lawyer, but I think you (I mean, your friend) can pretty much do what you want <unsmiley face here>

No, it's still under Extra Care Insurance, but I'm a maverick who laughs in the face of having to wait for an engineer to show up.  That is, I suck in the face of the aforementioned wait.

My friend, that is.  My friend sucks.  Although I'm sure that she will call out an engineer should the problem begin to ignore her hose talents.

Did youyour friend empty the lint trap afterwards?

Of course!  What do you take me her for?!

[Sebastian Cobb]

#Mieletoo

bravo

[Glebe]

If we're talking domestic appliance debauchery, here's Henry Hoover snorting coke off a waif-like washing machine or summit:

[Dex Sawash]

Had a draft coming out of the stove vent this morning, outside for a quick rummage around up the flap around back and that's sorted.

[Sebastian Cobb]

Had a draft coming out of the stove vent this morning, outside for a quick rummage around up the flap around back and that's sorted.

disgusting

[flotemysost]

On moving into a new flatshare a few years ago, I found the washing machine drum was littered with small pebbles and gravelly bits (this is entirely true - the tenant I was replacing had a dramatic falling-out with the other flatmates, and had committed various petty acts of vandalism/sabotage round the flat before leaving, including this) - so you could say I spent an afternoon squatting on the kitchen floor, getting a washing machine's rocks off.

I'm equally amused and aroused concerned by how frequently anthropomorphic Henry vids crop up on CaB, it's a fascinating subculture.

[Glebe]

I'm equally amused and aroused concerned by how frequently anthropomorphic Henry vids crop up on CaB, it's a fascinating subculture.

I'm mortified for Hetty watching her husband get up all to sorts with every bit of household machinery crumpet he can get his nozzle on!

[Blumf]

"Today, I've got my Hetties out to show you"

[Johnny Yesno]

How old is this appliance?

It's one of these early 60s free-standing models. It could take a lot of 'fixing'.

[Red Macadam]

When I was in the early stages of puberty and bits of me were becoming hairy, I tried to employ a Remington Fuzz-Away as a delapidatory solution. I'd seen the adverts on telly and assumed an acrylic weave pullover with a froth of fuzz was akin to an above-winkle-area of hair.

It wasn't. But I did experience my first orgasm, so I think it was worth the trip to Index, the catalogue shop. I got some spherical dice, too.

[Cerys]

Those were your testicles, as well you know.

[seepage]

FYI I advise against getting one of those new fangled heat pump dryers. They're supposed to be eco-friendly but they seem to need to be on 24/7 and to add insult to injury make a right fuckin racket.

[Ian Drunken Smurf]

I recently delinted our tumbler dryer. Access was through the front bottom flap.

[Glebe]

I recently delinted our tumbler dryer. Access was through the front bottom flap.

Bet you videoed it and all y'dirty bollix!

[Jittlebags]

And I dread to think about the state of his toploader..

[Cerys]

I recently delinted our tumbler dryer. Access was through the front bottom flap.

Yeah, I had to stretch my fingers through the dryer's tangled orifice only yesterday to pull out a clump of lint.  And fellate it again.  I may have to accept that I have a problem.

Edit - MY FRIEND.

[Ian Drunken Smurf]

Bet you videoed it and all y'dirty bollix!

It will be premiered on the desofests that are Mark Zuckerberg's Instagram or Mark Zuckerberg's Facebook.

[Lisa Jesusandmarychain]

Did youyour friend empty the lint trap afterwards?

*Her Out Of Dry Cleaning leaves thread, nodding head and scribbling in note book*

[Glebe]

I wonder if this domestic appliance fellating has anything to do with this? Perhaps a side effect of the Rise* of the Machines is sexual mania?

*'Rise' is right as in 'rising' cock ha.

[Porky]

If we're talking domestic appliance debauchery, here's Henry Hoover snorting coke off a waif-like washing machine or summit:

I have got a HETTY .. she does this all the time .. I am thinking of pulling her plug.

[Glebe]

I have got a HETTY .. she does this all the time .. I am thinking of pulling her plug.

Bet Henry wouldn't mind you 'pulling his plug', the dirty little bollocks!