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Have you ever been upset by a comedian's hair, hairs, or hairpiece?

Started by Mobbd, December 24, 2021, 10:22:34 AM

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Mobbd

Once, when I was a kid, our family united in bemoaning a weak latterday TV effort by Little and Large.

We were all giving our opinions on why it was shit, my elderly Nan's contribution being that "[Eddie] used to have such lovely curly hair."

It was a charmingly Nannish thing to say and, as such, completely besides the point.

OR WAS IT? Zoom forward 25 years or something and I find myself slightly distressed by Bob Mortimer's shaved head.

Have you ever been upset, disappointed, or traumatised by a comedian's hair?

A single hair, perhaps fallen from their head and into your food, also qualifies.

Magnum Valentino

I'm usually disappointed when any male with long hair cuts it short. Coogan's done it, Kayvan Novak's done it.

Bob Mortimer hasn't shaved his head has he?

beanheadmcginty

The first time I ever saw Tom Selleck without a moustache when he was on Friends upset me a lot.

Replies From View

Thinning hair and baldness are too good for you.

Hopefully you will go blind and need to get glass eyes, but they won't fit properly so you'll need to constantly press them into their sockets with your fingers.  And you won't know how dirty your fingers are due to being blind, so you'll be leaving grey smudges all over your glass eyes from the mud and whiteboard marker ink on them.



BeardFaceMan

Alan's hair doesn't look like that, stop getting Alan wrong!

Who is that Geordie twat with the twatty hair? He annoys me. And one of those Russels, don't make me try and remember which one.

Ray Travez

Gotta be Kane. Brand's is too distinctive to be forgotten, and Howard's is unremarkable.

Kane's hair was sort of like a badger pelt stretched over an anvil.

BeardFaceMan

I was indeed thinking of Kane, Howard just kind of looks like he's been hit in the back of a head with a shovel.

Oh god, now you've gone and made me remember that Russell Brand exists.

Cold Meat Platter


Blue Jam

Victor Lewis-Smith's hair, for obvious reasons.

The Bob's fluctuating hair density in this clip:


Replies From View

Hair in general is pretty spooky.  Along with every part of the body we can see apart from the eyes, hair is dead as all fuck


So for example, I don't know:  Clive Anderson's neck

Replies From View

Quote from: ImmaculateClump on December 24, 2021, 10:12:33 PM

It was long down on the list, but it didn't fucking help.

I'm in turmoil seeing this grotesquery.  Self-consciously Puckish awfulness.  I'm going to imagine this was around the time of Matt Smith's Doctor Who and this Russell kid was trying to get the attention of their casting people.

Blue Jam

Quote from: Replies From View on December 26, 2021, 12:18:10 PMHair in general is pretty spooky.  Along with every part of the body we can see apart from the eyes, hair is dead as all fuck

Hair is pretty disgusting really. Unhygenic and it clogs up the shower drain. And it's a pain in the arse to look after.

Skin is dead too. It's what dust is made out of.

Ectodermal appendages are all quite disturbing. If you want to really freak yourself try reading up on teratomas.



Replies From View

To be fair if you can keep it attached to your scalp it shouldn't be going down any shower drains.

Blue Jam



Oh Ricky, don't you think your mate Karl has suffered enough?

Replies From View

Interesting crossover there with Louie and Derke both using the Pet Sounds font in a manner that disturbs me.

Replies From View

Quote from: ImmaculateClump on December 24, 2021, 10:12:33 PM

It was long down on the list, but it didn't fucking help.

This is also one for the thread "Have you ever been upset by a Russell having their left eye three times larger than their right eye?"

Blue Jam

More from Mr. Show: Jill Talley:



I can't watch the Hail Satan Network sketch without worrying about her poor neck. I wonder if she did a few neck-strengthening exercises, like the Queen does before wearing her crown.

Elderly Sumo Prophecy

Jimmy Carr's shit hair perched atop his shit face, while he does his shit laugh through his shit teeth.

dissolute ocelot

Quote from: BeardFaceMan on December 26, 2021, 01:17:35 AMI was indeed thinking of Kane, Howard just kind of looks like he's been hit in the back of a head with a shovel.

Oh god, now you've gone and made me remember that Russell Brand exists.
Kane went through several hairstyles and colours to try and differentiate himself from other comedians, especially Howard, before settling on Nathan Barley birdshit hair as a unique selling point.

I was going to post about my childhood fear of Bobby Ball. That wasn't a wig or was it? A perm? A demented troll doll?

beanheadmcginty

Russ Abbot was the first person I ever heard of to get a hair transplant. Wouldn't be surprised if he really did receive the world's first hair transplant.

Mobbd

Milton Jones once said, "the thicker the audience, the higher the hair."

Maybe that's what posh lad whatshisname was thinking. It was a panel show to be fair.

Speaking of him, I watched him in Jungle Cruise on Disney Plus on Xmas day. He and it were fucking rotten. Like watching an Alsatian regurgitate. Still, it was only two and a half hours.

Cold Meat Platter

Graham Linehan was right. This is a forum full of failed hair-havers. Jealousy.
The worst creative environment imaginable.

Mobbd

Quote from: Cold Meat Platter on December 26, 2021, 07:00:40 PMGraham Linehan was right. This is a forum full of failed hair-havers. Jealousy.
The worst creative environment imaginable.

Have you ever been upset by a comedian's lack of phimosis?

Blue Jam

Quote from: Cold Meat Platter on December 26, 2021, 07:00:40 PMJealousy.

Envy of those capable of harbouring lice in their luxuriant barnets?

Quote from: Replies From View on December 26, 2021, 12:28:01 PMTo be fair if you can keep it attached to your scalp it shouldn't be going down any shower drains.

Oh come on, this is CaB. I've got a shower drain like Judd Trump's pillow.

Blue Jam

Quote from: Replies From View on December 26, 2021, 12:39:43 PMInteresting crossover there with Louie and Derke both using the Pet Sounds font in a manner that disturbs me.

I always think of Cooper Black as the font of 70's pubs and darts tournaments.

Buelligan

I didn't like it when I saw Frankie Boyle's naked face.  It was too big for my comfort zone.

Also all the blonde long hair women comedians weird me, in fact, any comedian spending a lot of time on a predictable/conventional hair thing is disturbing.  This is because, for me anyway, part of being a really funny person is the ability to see the pointless stupidity of tiddling your own hair in a prescribed (or artfully zany) manner (and all the rest of it). 

Show me an over-groomed comedian or even, an over-groomed human, and I'll show you someone who is not seeing the funny side.

Cold Meat Platter

Quote from: Mobbd on December 26, 2021, 07:05:26 PMHave you ever been upset by a comedian's lack of phimosis?
Then call 0891 12345 to speak to one of our trained lawyers...

Mr Banlon

Brian Murphy. Bald in real life. Bald in George and Mildred. Wore a syrup when not performing. Such a fucking weird thing to do : https://youtu.be/gE-3utPaAdU?t=95
Same with Shelley Berman : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tC2r4LSp0eA