Christmas Arguments

[Twit 2]

Anyone have a ding dong? Politics, religion, the baby's face?

Yesterday, I was semi-comatose round the in-laws when I woke up to them discussing the Queen's speech. Brother-in-law's missus said something admiring, "Doesn't she work hard?" I normally grit my teeth and shut up, but was disorientated and defaulted to strident correction mode. Pointed out that she lives in a palace and has a team of servants to wipe her arse, so no, she doesn't work hard.

I went on. I don't want to bow and scrape to supposedly superior people like a peasant in a feudal system. And actually, the wealth inequality is disgusting and we shouldn't be admiring her while so many live in poverty. So brother-in-law's missus (she works in the police) said poor people are lazy with flat screen TVs and they make more on  benefits than she does and they make bad choices, so I pointed out that their lives are shit bag it's not a matter of choice when we treat the poorest in society like shit, force their backs against the wall and give them limited or no options to actually change things for thenselves. Etc etc

Earlier in the evening, there was a comment from her about how ungrateful the Harry Potter stars are and that they owe JKR for their careers. JKR just saying her opinions, can't say anything these days! Luckily, I kept quiet on this one and it seemed to come from the fact that the Beauty and the Beast remake was on TV in the background and not because she was trying to peak us.

Anyway, I politely told her her opinions were bollocks and she wasn't happy. Bridges burned, but oh well. Gonna bite my lip next time.

[Glebe]

Lucky talk didn't turn to Prince Andrew!

[thecuriousorange]

Earlier in the evening, there was a comment from her about how ungrateful the Harry Potter stars are and that they owe JKR for their careers. JKR just saying her opinions, can't say anything these days!

I heard someone say that yesterday.

[Twit 2]

Lucky talk didn't turn to Prince Andrew!

On this, she said he's a paedophile, so at least we agreed on that.

[mothman]

"... but he DOES work very hard at being one."

[Buelligan]

Don't bite your lip Twit.  Pipe it to 'em hot and strong.  These maundering cunts blithering their damp tissue of imbecility in our poor earholes all the time, babbling their moronic tongues at us.  They only feel emboldened because, in many places, it's become the equivalent of chatting about the fucking meteo. 

Kick 'em firmly right in their complacent cunts, right from the off.  In fact, just barge into the room upon arrival, push each one in the neck back into a wall and just glare.  Shout SHUT IT SCUM in their moon-faced faces whilst giving them the eyeball.  And slam the door behind you as you march out. 

Past time this shit was sorted.

[Butchers Blind]

Had that 'Queen' argument many times with family over the years at xmas. They seem to think she's great and we're lucky to have her. Thank god for Covid over the past two years that's kept contact with them to a minimum.

[shagatha crustie]

Really hugely lost my temper yesterday with family friends who were talking about a new neighbour who has a disabled daughter.

Them: 'I'd seen him about with his daughter, went over and said hello and asked how his daughter was. He said "She's having a lot of fun!" Bit of a non-committal answer that.'

Me: 'So what would a better answer have been?'

Them: 'Fine, not very well, anything. Just seemed like a bit of a political answer'

Me: 'So really you were asking them how she was because you wanted them to acknowledge that she's disabled. I'd say 'she's having a lot of fun' is a much less political response than whatever your intentions were going into that conversation. And why should he be made to say that she's not very well?'

Them: 'Ooh I don't know, ooh er um' [pretending to be confused/hurt to defend themselves - I look like the mad/unreasonable one]

Apparently it's also a problem for them that this neighbour's ivy is overgrown. They live across the road, doesn't even encroach on their fence or whatever, so purely for keeping up appearances style aesthetic reasons. Pathetic.

[shoulders]

Wouldn't this be so much easier if The Cunt of Death was just some rags and body elements on a floor?

Hopefully that can happen soon.

[Buelligan]

The ivy thing really pisses me off too tbh.  Ivy is an essential source of cover, pollen, nectar and berries, in winter for birds and insects.  I think we should pressure hose these cunts, naked on their two-car parking area or boil them in a fucking tea urn until they change their ways.

[JaDanketies]

My stepdad was saying that he'd just read Kathleen Stock's book. He said my summary of her arguments was incorrect and false. I described her as a transphobe and my quiet-as-a-mouse mum whispered that she's not a transphobe. I was too drunk to argue about something I give a shit about so I bought him Shon Faye's book on Amazon Prime and tried to stay quiet(ish). He's been going that way for a while and taking my mum with him. I blame the media.

Kinda related to Christmas arguments, my fiancee lost her grandad this year, as did I. I also lost my dad a few years back. For me, Christmas should involve everyone raising a glass to "our friends who can't be with us this year," but I had to do so quietly with my auntie (my dad's sister).

My fiancee's uncle left quietly and didn't even eat at the table, and it was because of the Big Grandad's Death-Shaped Elephant In The Room that nobody wanted to acknowledge. Briefly suggested raising a glass to the dearly departed to my fiancee, and she burst into tears. I didn't spend a whole lot of time with my mum and stepdad but I would believe they didn't mention her dead dad either.

We must just be a morbid bunch on my dad's side of the family. Can't imagine a Christmas where we don't raise a glass to the dead. Kinda feel like this approach is more healthy tbh.

[TrenterPercenter]

Really hugely lost my temper yesterday with family friends who were talking about a new neighbour who has a disabled daughter.

Them: 'I'd seen him about with his daughter, went over and said hello and asked how his daughter was. He said "She's having a lot of fun!" Bit of a non-committal answer that.'

Me: 'So what would a better answer have been?'

Them: 'Fine, not very well, anything. Just seemed like a bit of a political answer'

Me: 'So really you were asking them how she was because you wanted them to acknowledge that she's disabled. I'd say 'she's having a lot of fun' is a much less political response than whatever your intentions were going into that conversation. And why should he be made to say that she's not very well?'

Ah yes the parent of the child with a disability is being non-committal and politically correct by saying their child is having fun.  Seriously what goes through some peoples heads.

These are generally the only kind of thing I can still turn golden god over and kick some serious arse. 

[Sherringford Hovis]

My brother is being a bit huffy with me on WotsCrapp.

Uncle Nick is nearly 80, never married, mildly aspie, lives independently by himself but has a carer/cleaner round 2 or 3 times a week, and is increasingly forgetful as are many folks of his escalating years and decrepitude.

Bro has sent me several messages over the last 96 hours exhorting me to ring Uncle Nick crescendoing mightily in passive-aggressive tone. I normally ring Uncle Nick at least once a week; I've spoken to Uncle Nick on 22nd, 25th and this morning, like the dutiful nephew I am. Uncle Nick lives over 100 miles away from me, and I would gladly go round if at all practicable, but:
a) in common with the last seven Christmases, I'm on call <>130 hours/week until second week in Jan; I can't be more than 5 mins away from work 22 hours out of 24; and even if I could get away for 12 hours or so,
b) I often touch dangerously ill people four or five times a week (Oo-er, Missus) and so don't want to gift-wrap the 'Rona or any other lurgy for fragile Uncle Nick.

Poor Uncle Nick is obviously having difficulty recalling our scintillating conversations when quizzed about their occurrence by my younger sibling. Bro is stuck in his own house with Covid 50 miles away from Uncle Nick and is being uncharacteristically tetchy; I fear that sending him a screengrab of my call-log may permanently affect our already divergent relationship.

[holyzombiejesus]

I get the impression that my mum is unimpressed that we bought our little boy a doll for Christmas (as he'd asked for one). We gave it him as a surprise bedtime present and I sent my mum the video of him being so thrilled when he saw it in his bed. She just responded with a list of family and friends who had bought a similar doll for their daughters and no mention of his huge smile and shriek of delight. I'm probably being paranoid but she's previously not exactly embraced our attempts to reject gender stereotyping. Oh well. She's hopefully coming to see us on Thursday so will get a better idea then (and possibly a huge argument).

[JaDanketies]

We're avoiding gender stereotyping; our son has a lovely kitchen set from his grandma this Christmas, plus a washing machine from Father Christmas and I got him kiddie cleaning supplies a year ago. Full domestic kit for him, just like what he sees his daddy doing.

He does love his kitchen. The washing machine spins around and he can shove stuff in it and close the door and bash it up. But he's obsessed with wheels, cars, and clocks, and things spinning round. His first 100%-sure-this-is-a-word word was 'car'. Totally innate stereotypical enjoyment of cars. I hope he can stay enthusiastic about clocks for a lifetime too, even if it is pretty male, getting past your teenage years nerdily enjoying clocks and still being fascinated with it as an adult would be cool a f

fuck it I wrote it, click 'post'

[Mobbd]

My new year's resolution is to try and stop caring about other people's opinions, no matter how awful or stupid they may be. The idea is that I have no jurisdiction over their minds so I shouldn't get involved. It will be more peaceful for me if I'm able to do that (though it will be difficult) and people are very guarded about their stupid opinions these days so arguing is either useless or makes the dig down even deeper. I can feel my parents drifting further and further into right wing COVID conspiracy rubbish; it hurts to be losing them like this but arguing (or even just talking very lightly about it) doesn't seem to help. The closest I want to come to arguing this year is "why do you think that?" in the hope that it makes them realise that, actually, they don't think the death numbers are inflated or that the queen works hard.

[peanutbutter]

Nothing massive as far as arguments go so far, just the usual stuff where everyone talking together results in things being relayed directly to people's faces oblivious to the weird dynamics and politics going on between everyone else.

[Poirots BigGarlickyCorpse]

Anyone have a ding dong?

Yes.

Spoiled the day for me.

[JaDanketies]

Oh aye when my fiancee's uncle didn't eat at the table because of his dad being dead and nobody talking about it, a few people gently said to eat at the table and he refused to do so. Then I, the head of the household, said "eat at the bloody table" or something, significantly less polite than his relatives although I intended it in a jokey way. Kinda immediately regretted it, as he is the generation above me and I'm supposed to be nice to them, especially when they're my fiancee's family.

But nobody mentioned anything or criticised me, and my fiancee definitely would've. Feel bad for all my fiancee's family though really. Although I also lost my mum's dad this year so I suppose I should feel equally bad for myself and my relatives. The way different families express grief is weird.

[holyzombiejesus]

Here's one for you. Arranged for me, my wife and our son to meet my mum, step-dad and 2 nephews in a pub about half an hour's walk from our house at 12:30 today, and after we'd eaten, we would come to ours. My mum etc are driving over from approx 80 miles away. Previously, my mum has been quite vocal when she hasn't felt our house is tidy or smart enough, and she's not seen it since we redecorated, so my wife took our son out and I was spending the morning cleaning then having a shower and then leaving to walk to our meeting place at 12.
At just after 11, my mum texts saying that they are early and could pop in before the pub. I said no as we weren't ready but would meet at pub as planned. She was furious! She said she could sit in the living room while I tidied and was aghast when I suggested that she look round the local garden centre for 30 minutes instead. She said she would have turned the car around if my nephew's hadn't wanted to see my son so much.
Am I being weird here?

[shiftwork2]

Your mum knows you're a 1950s slut mate and she was trying to catch you.  Tell her to fuck off, oh you did.

80 miles is a lovely distance to travel in daft fury because regret would begin to seep in at 20 miles and go through several iterations of 'I am RIGHT goddamit' and 'I have ruined Christmas' eventually ending in her practising her contrition phone call that she's planning for the following day.  Fortunately this didn't happen.

[Cuntbeaks]

Seems like there's lots of silly Xmas cunts about.

The festive season really does bring out the worst in people.

[TrenterPercenter]

Am I being weird here?

Not at all. Massive over-reaction from mother here.  Perhaps she was turtlin and had been fixating on using your thunder mug.

[Jockice]

Brief reappearance on these pages just to tell you that my legendary girlfriend and I had a huge fall-out on Monday evening. That's not usual. We've only ever had one row on that scale before and that was over three years ago, We're on speaking terms again (we didn't talk for a week after the last one) but it's in question whether either of us want to carry on. We'll see. If it's over I'll divulge details.

Oh yeah, and a member of my family has very recently come out as a massive TERF and is constantly posting exactly the sort of stuff you'd expect a TERF to post. I haven't said anything to them about it. Yet.

Happy New Year tomorrow everybody!

[Rich Uncle Skeleton]

Not at all. Massive over-reaction from mother here.  Perhaps she was turtlin and had been fixating on using your thunder mug.

God, every day's a school day

[bgmnts]

Nah just all sat there eating dinner, watching Tipping Point and farting.

[Ferris]

Everyone we know over 60 who enters our home starts reflexively tidying. We have a toddler and I used to be a bit embarrassed about the mess but now I don't give a fuck.

It's my house, come in if you like but the place will likely be covered with toy cars and hummus and I'm not going to tidy up beyond our usual level just because you're coming over. Slice of life, mate.

[Icehaven]

It's bizarre how the trans issue is so important to a bunch of middle aged/old people who probably rarely even encounter any trans people anyway. They only give a shit because the internet tells them to yet they'd bleat on about "the right to their own opinion/freedom of thought" etc. until the cows come home, seemingly unaware this isn't something that wouldn't have crossed their free minds if it wasn't a social media hobby horse. Are they that fucking bored?

[rectorofstiffkey]

Previously, my mum has been quite vocal when she hasn't felt our house is tidy or smart enough,

Anyone who makes comments about the tidiness of someone else's house forfeits all 'just dropping in' privileges.  You are not the one being weird.

Just reminded me, my roommates's mum visited us when we were at university.  We spent two hours tidying.  Her first comment was 'ah it's nice to see you're comfortable with us visiting, you didn't even bother tidying!".  I still wonder if she was being genuine about that.  She was a very nice person and very tidy herself so it may be that she simply couldn't imagine our usual state of disarray.

[Mr_Simnock]

Had that 'Queen' argument many times with family over the years at xmas. They seem to think she's great and we're lucky to have her. Thank god for Covid over the past two years that's kept contact with them to a minimum.

After a lifetime of PR and propaganda I can see how it can be difficult for some people, especially those over 60, to continue to worship her till they die. It's still good to challenge their opinions though, even if it means a bit of bad blood between yourself and them for a while.