SEX

[mothman]

It seems to me that there's an opening here (behave) for a CaB dating service. It's been a long time since I last looked at the HS Art "What do you really look like" threads (if indeed those are still a thing) but from what I remember many here are far from being complete munters though granted I haven't cross-refed with the Can't-get-shagged/Won't shag crowd in this thread.

There would have to be safeguards, protection of privacy etc., and the consent of all willing to participate. And it goes without saying that a firm commitment would be required that at no point in the future, should a lasting relationship result, can anyone ever be allowed to say "Me and this CaBer have been fucking for quite some time now."

[shiftwork2]

Shirley Valentine famously said that 'sex is like supermarkets because' and then there was some philosophical Liverpudlianism and every barren over 40 nodded and went 'amazing'.

[Johnny Yesno]

I've been single since August 2020 so it's been a long, cold dry spell for me.

Huh! Is that all? On Boxing Day, it was seven years for me (that was some Boxing Day shit, I can tell you). I think that makes me a veteran, or something.

In short, what I'm saying is that I am willing to have sex with someone but the moment it ends I'd like them to leave the £60 on the bed side table and exit the house as soon as humanly possible.

Huh! Is that all? Throw in a bit of stand-up comedy and I'm sure you could get more than that.

[canadagoose]

Used to do it, can't be arsed now. Maybe at some point it'll happen for me, but probably not.

Edit: I don't miss when I used to do things with guys who would be up, dressed and away before I even had time to put my knickers back on though. That was desolation-thread stuff.

[popcorn]

My last shag was in a Tokyo love hotel at 17:37pm on Feb 13, 2020.

Now I can't even remember what an arse even looks like.

[madhair60]

been about a year and a bit. don't really miss it. was crap at it anyway. all a bit of an imposition really.

[Klara Sjoberg]

5-6 times a week? Fuck off. The only people who have sex that much are the guys who run the waltzers at fairgrounds!

This is 700% true

Never tried it myself, any good?

[salr]

April 2003 was the last time for me.

in 2019 the Dr switched the anti-psychotic I am on and it seems to have neutered my sex drive. Before that the Olanzapine and paroxetine didn't make a dent in it. Only time I notice it now is sobering up from a drinking binge.

I can see myself never having sex again, which is nice, no pressure.

[Dr Rock]

It's been a couple of years since my last girlfriend who may well be my Last Girlfriend. The chronic pain and lack of mobility makes things difficult and I don't want to try another in case it fails for the same reason, or I end up treating her like a nursemaid, which I don't want.

Anyway I don't miss sex, I was getting worse at it compared to my younger self who would enthusiastically cycle through all the positions can't be arsed with that now.

Maybe it's the fluoxetine

I've been on various antidepressants over past 15 years. They completely annihilated my sexuality.

What you may want to think about is that these meds can permanently effect your sexuality. Look up post ssri sexual dysfunction...it's extraordinarily common.

The longer you take these pills, the more likely it is to occur.

So I have no desire for sex, or a partner. I'm happy alone, farting whenever I please.

Sex? Been there, done that. should've got some kind of medal. But I'm happily retired now

[the science eel]

Only time I notice it now is sobering up from a drinking binge.

Raging libido! I remember that...

[GMTV]

[kalowski]

April 2003 was the last time for me.

in 2019 the Dr switched the anti-psychotic I am on and it seems to have neutered my sex drive. Before that the Olanzapine and paroxetine didn't make a dent in it. Only time I notice it now is sobering up from a drinking binge.

I can see myself never having sex again, which is nice, no pressure.

PASUS: Post Alcohol Sexual Urge Syndrome

[mothman]

I've been wondering whether to seek a diagnosis (or not) of clinical depression. Not sure I fancy antidepressants especially if it means putting Little Mothy to sleep.

[thenoise]

I've had sex at least once (and I can prove it!), I recommend it if the opportunity arises, but it certainly isn't worth making a tit of yourself over.

[billyandthecloneasaurus]

Thus far I've had long sexy seasons and long dry seasons in rotation.  Lots of lovely sex in 2011-2013, absolutely nothing for 2014,2015 and most of 2016, then loads again until the end of 2019 and fuck all since then.

I think it's too easy for me to unfairly think I'm gross and undesirable when I go a while without any romance, but also too easy for me to convince myself I'm some sort of irresistible lothario once I've snogged a couple of girls. The latter is definitely preferable though, mostly for the way a bit of confidence makes me far less bothered by rejection.

In the GOOD TIMES I've happily asked a girl out when there's about a 10% chance they'll say yes, but in the bad times I'll agonise about the prospect of being rejected by the ones who are practically saying yes Billyandthecloneasaurus I fancy you please kiss my mouth you idiot.

[salr]

I've been wondering whether to seek a diagnosis (or not) of clinical depression. Not sure I fancy antidepressants especially if it means putting Little Mothy to sleep.

It's possible it won't affect you in that way. Like I said for me paroxetine didn't seem to change my libido at all. Worth discussing with your doctor anyway.

[flotemysost]

Last summer I went back to a new causal-but-regular partner's flat for the first time and he had all these (tastefully framed, arty and quite nice) prints of Marvel stuff in his bedroom, including one of the Hulk in THAT pose. Was an almighty struggle to put any spiraling thoughts of CaB memes out of my head and focus on the task at hand.

[shoulders]

... But you managed!

[Stonefish]

Anyone got any good mental images they like to use to help prolong the moment?

[the science eel]

Anyone got any good mental images they like to use to help prolong the moment?

[flotemysost]

^ OT but around the time I started lurking here years ago, there was a thread about that awful Sluthate forum, and someone from CaB (can't remember who) trolled one of their "rate my face" threads with photos of MES, prompting a barrage of "dude your rasmus is fucked, with an intensive mewling regime you might get to be like a gamma at most, but probably best you just give up bro" replies, before they clocked they were being taken for a ride and got angry. Incredibly childish but it still makes me laugh when I remember it.

[Klara Sjoberg]

Is your muffin buttered? Would you like us to assign someone to butter your muffin

[non capisco]

Anyone got any good mental images they like to use to help prolong the moment?

A good few times for some reason I alighted on Peter Ustinov pretending to be Chinese in the film 'One Of Our Dinosaurs Is Missing'. Fuck knows how your mind works in these circumstances, let's be honest.

[non capisco]

Last summer I went back to a new causal-but-regular partner's flat for the first time and he had all these (tastefully framed, arty and quite nice) prints of Marvel stuff in his bedroom, including one of the Hulk in THAT pose. Was an almighty struggle to put any spiraling thoughts of CaB memes out of my head and focus on the task at hand.

This is very funny to me and also raises the image of going back to someone's place and them having a big framed picture of that bloke posing with a knife and fork and an incredibly out of date chicken in a tin while his Rod Hull lookalike wife looks on disapprovingly.

[Klara Sjoberg]

Beards are all the rage that is my top tip lol

[flotemysost]

This is very funny to me and also raises the image of going back to someone's place and them having a big framed picture of that bloke posing with a knife and fork and an incredibly out of date chicken in a tin while his Rod Hull lookalike wife looks on disapprovingly.

Yep, I'm afraid that's precisely the kind of mental rabbit hole I was trying to swerve. Not sure how I'd fare if I ever encounter a Hans-style framed pet portrait.

[Johnny Yesno]

Yep, I'm afraid that's precisely the kind of mental rabbit hole I was trying to swerve. Not sure how I'd fare if I ever encounter a Hans-style framed pet portrait.

Turn to it and say 'I bet you're loving this on the Cook'd and Bomb'd forum, aren't you?'

[thenoise]

'sex is like supermarkets because'

All the stuff you actually want is all the way at the back but you have to negotiate all the shit that you have no interest in to get to it?

[shiftwork2]

I think that was actually it, yes.

[Johnny Yesno]

'sex is like supermarkets because'

I can never find what I'm looking for because they keep moving everything around to try and keep you interested.